***DUzy Awards for week ending June 29, 2007***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Jun-29-07 05:37 PM
Original message

Edited on Fri Jun-29-07 05:57 PM by JeffR

Welcome to the DUzy Awards, honoring zesty zaps, zippy zingers and zealous zaniness from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The star-spangled DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks this week to krispos42, badgerpup, babylonsister, eppur_se_muova, stellanoir, TahitiNut, wryter2000, MuseRider, Kurovski, havocmom, and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance.

This week, the Academy introduces the Special Visual Achievement category.

On a thread by deminks:

      (Sen.) Roberts fractures wrist in accident
"WASHINGTON (AP) - Senator Pat Roberts has fractured his wrist in a car accident.

It happened today as the Kansas Republican was driving his car near his home in Alexandria, Virginia.

The 71-year-old was taken by ambulance to a hospital, where a small cast was placed on his left wrist. His wife met him at the hospital and drove him home.

A spokeswoman says he's doing well..."

response #4 by MuseRider:

      Oh a car accident.
I thought maybe he fractured his wrist trying to pull his head out of his ass.

response #5 by anotheryellowdog:

      I'm surprised fractured wrists are not a common
congressional injury given that most of the legislators in both parties spend the majority of their time stroking Bush off.

response #6 by aquart:

      Please tell me the treasonous prick is in pain.
I'll take any justice I can get.

LBN, June 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2890785

OP by Writer:

Did Michael Moore's "Sicko" have a segment on circumcision?
Just wondering.

The Lounge (moved from GD), June 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6645145

On a thread by Eugene:

2 al-Qaida leaders captured in Iraq

response #1 by The Count:

See? It was all worth it!
What? You didn't want them to bomb Florida, did you?

LBN, June 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2890921

On a thread by LoZoccolo:

Nader? Nada

response #2 by acmavm:

Nader suffers from his own form of Attention Deficit Disorder. He doesn't
think he gets enough.

GDP, June 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3335222

OP by frogcycle:

      If a circumcised man walks down the streeet wearing nothing but sunglasses
is he circumspect?

response #2 by karlrschneider:

      Depends. Exactly where is he wearing them?
:rofl:

response #3 by frogcycle:

      well, on his "member*" of course
how else can he circumnavigate?

*I would have said penis, but thought a little circumlocution was in order

The Lounge (moved from GD), June 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6645158

OP by Solly Mack:

      Now that America has 4 branches of government - What should we call Cheney's branch?
the Corporate Branch?
the Go Fuck Yourself Branch?

Should be a few DUzy worthy suggestions coming.

response #19 by hyphenate:

      A few suggestions
The Halliburton-Enron Memorial branch

The PNAC (Positively No Actual Conscience) branch

The Neo-Contrary branch

The Heartless Zombies branch

The Master Puppeteer branch

The "It was no accident!" branch (Referring to Harry Whittington)

The MAN (Mean and Nasty) branch

The Fourth Reichstag

I'm sure I'll come up with some others over time. :)

response #58 by IDemo:

      The Exemptive?

response #61 by DKRC:

      The Kudzu Branch
It's taken over everything and there doesn't seem to be any way to stop it!

response #68 by LeftishBrit:

      As he's Vice President - the Vice Branch?

response #89 by flying rabbit:

      Not sure what to call it
but there is a damn chimp swinging from it, flinging poo at us!

GD, June 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1172341

OP by bob_weaver:

      List things that are more interesting than Paris Hilton...
For example:

- Watching paint dry on a fence

- Cleveland's traffic statistics for 1953

- The life story of one rock in a quarry somewhere

- A picnic at the Stringfellow Acid Pits

response #28 by EstimatedProphet:

      Every other thing or event throughout time and space, literally
Paris Hilton is literally the least important thing that has ever existed. Which I guess, means that Christ was talking about her as an admonishment when he said "Whatever you do the the least of these, you have done to me." He was predicting Paris Hilton.

response #33 by dicksteele:

      The anticipation of filing the day's navel lint by color & weight.

response #34 by bob_weaver:

      Isn't that what Paris did today?

response #39 by 0007:

      Watching assholes at Starbucks....
The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

The Lounge, June 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6645866

On a thread by Egalia:

      Fred Thompson is 'a Soft, Safe Place to Be' (heh)
"Fred Thompson's ex girlfriend doesn't know an insult when she delivers one...

Lori Morgan thinks women will vote for Fred Thompson (aka, the 'Tennessee Stud') -- Not because he's the best candidate, but because:
'I think he has a great chance of capturing the women’s vote. He’s majestic. He’s a soft, safe place to be and that could be Fred’s ticket. Women love a soft place to lay and a strong pair of hands to hold us...'"

response #2 by Phredicles:

      I assume that whirring sound I hear is Sophocles and Dr. Freud spinning
in their graves. :wow: :puke:

response #7 by kenny blankenship:

      I guess Daddy was her first--and Fred? he was just the next closest thing

response #18 by AX10:

      Maybe Morgan means that he is impotent.

:hide:

GDP, June 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3337128

OP by Rabrrrrrr:

My Official 'Why Dumbledore Isn't Really Good' Theory (SPOILERS, obviously)
a. He uses magic
b. He never mentions Jesus
c. He has long hair
d. He encourages kids to break rules
e. He's probably gay (old and unmarried? Wears robes? Come one, we all know that's liberal code-word for gay agenda)
f. He never prays, but he sure does like those incantations of forbidden knowledge
g. He consorts with magical creatures
h. He knowingly befriended a non-human creature who rides not only a motorcycle, but an *enchanted* motorcycle, and we all know that motorcycles are liberal code-word for gay and anti-authority and Jesus-hater
i. He actively opposes the wishes of his authorities, who are clearly traditional family-values conservatives who only want what's best for the greater community

Therefore, Dumbledore is an America-hating liberal dirty hippie commie pinko fag who wants to destroy the traditional family and let the terrorists win.

This is why I support Voldemort - he's a true American.

The Lounge, June 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6646590

On a thread by maddezmom:

Mum Warner likely to move on

response #5 by abernste:

John Warner's mother is moving on from what?
Sorry, couldn't resist.

LBN, June 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2892743

On a thread by kpete:

      EDITOR Begs For Pro-Bush Letters: "A Badly Written Letter In Favor Of Bush-More Likely To Get In"

response #4 by Whoa_Nelly:

      I dun thinks Master Bushe is him one ol gude parson
like I know alots of gude peepl, and i knows lots of smarts peepl, and all a them loves Master Bushe, 2 cuz them frens of myne are likn to bee the sayme as R deer preznut, Master Bushe.

If'n yu R a parson who dun't like our Preznut, than yu R SCREWN!

response #5 by NV Whino:

      Deer Editer
Bush is a fine man. I wud like to have a bear with him.

response #Mind_your_head by Mind_your_head:

      Oooh, I've got to give this a try.....
Deer Edioter,

I fink that prezidint bush iz a grate man. His bin grate-in on me cince he 1st tuk ophice in --- well cince he tuk the ophice of the prezidint after that emmorel, skirt-chaising Clintock guy wus dun. Mist-er bush is keepin this kountry saif frum alla them ther terrorests....yooou no, them guys with 'hoo blough us up over there so that they dun't hav to blough us up over here'.

Cince I started on mhy nu medicasion, Mist-er bush makes mor & more cense 2 me withevery pasing day. Yur papre less sew.

Sitizen,
John Q.

response #14 by Octafish:

      Dear Editer,
First of all, I'd like to say how great it is for us to have such a wonderful and great and descent president as George W. Bush. The guy exhumes class, and he knows how to get stiff done.

Imagine what it would be like if Al Gore was president? Especially when Saddam Hussein attacked us on 9-11? Thank Moon we were ready for them, even though we were not predicting them to use airplanes or anything having to do with bin Laden determined to attack in the United States to scare us.

Imagine how self-confident in his abilities and masculine abilities George W. Bush must be that he could hold Vice President Richard Bruce Cheney’s hand when he spoke off-the-record before the 911 Omission.

John Kerry would never have done that.

What's more? George W. Bush knows what to do about the terrorists over there before they become a disgruntled Blackwater employee over here. We attacked them and destroyed their country fair-and-square, give or take a few hundred thousand.

Somedays now Halliburton Dubai wishes the only people around really are the pro-Sunni Iranians and their petrofundamentalist ruling elite loyal to the Shah Junior. To think some complain that it is too hard to move money out of the Cayman Islands. People, by that I mean people of property and means, shouldn't have to worry their minds about whether their next dividend will be reinvested in their blind trust fund.

But wait, there’s more! George W. Bush has done lots and lots to make America a better place. For instance, like all the trailers for Katrina victims. He even got the Houston Astrodome to open up. While most of the poor are better off now, new pumps were purchased from a well-connected company to prevent things like that ever happening again.

George W. Bush is still to give up on his death tax, not the one on the soon-to-be-permanently-extinct Liberals, but the one on the tip of the base, if you know what I mean. Please, don’t forget to add the waves of compassion exemplified best by all the waving flag lapel pins.

Yours truly,

Barbara Bush

response #15 by mitchum:

      Deer Editor...
I think that Pressident Bush is a good man a man of god who proteks me and my fambly from peeple that want to kill us and proteks us from all of them sissies mexcans and other colored people who if they dont like it they can just go back to ware they come from and get killed by Sodom Husane. God bless Pressident Bush!!!

GD, June 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1183672

On a thread by maddezmom:

      White House backs Cheney in latest document dispute
"Secrecy may cost Cheney, Dems warn..."

response #1 by ocelot:

      Well, they would, wouldn't they?
No doubt Dick told them to.

response #5 by MannyGoldstein:

      Don't Worry! The Battlin' Congressional Dems Are On Top Of This!
I'm thinking non-binding defunding. Anyone else have a guess?

response #6 by frogcycle:

      non funding de binding?

response #9 by IanDB1:

      Dick Cheney exists as both a particle AND a wave simultaneously.
He also exists as both the Executive Branch and The Shadow Government simultaneously.

However, once impeached, Cheney's quantum state will collapse into one or the other.

LBN, June 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2893480

On a thread by sabra:

      (Newsweek) Poll: More Than 4 in 10 Americans Still Believe Saddam Involved with 9/11
"A Newsweek poll in September 2004 showed that 36% believed 'Saddam Hussein’s regime in Iraq was directly involved in planning, financing, or carrying out the terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001.' Now the number in the same poll is 41%..."

response #1 by MNDemNY:

      So, only 4 in ten americans are fuckin' idiots? Things are looking up.

response #2 by ixion:

      yep, and he's in heaven right now making a chemical weapon plant look like a
chocolate chip factory. :eyes:

response #15 by benld74:

      I didn't know the housing market was so bleak....
with 4 of 10 Americans living UNDER ROCKS!

LBN, June 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2892827

On a thread by EarlG:

      The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 296
... Last week our old friend the Mississippi Hair Helmet, a.k.a. Senate Minority Whip Trent Lott, appeared to come up with a novel solution to the problem of illegal immigration:

"If the answer is 'build a fence' I've got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain't no fence big enough, high enough, strong enough, that you can keep those goats in that fence... I'm not proposing an electrified goat fence," Lott added quickly, "I'm just trying, there's an analogy there."

See, he's not comparing Mexicans to goats or suggesting that they should be electrocuted, it's an analogy. Get it? You know, this reminds me of the time at Storm Thurmond's 100th birthday when Trent noted that if Thurmond's segregationist presidential campaign had achieved victory in 1948, "we wouldn't have had all these problems over all these years." That was an analogy for... er, something...

response #21 by eppur_se_muova:

      So you're OK with "Storm" Thurmond. ;^D
(psst...Blame it on the auto spellcheck -- that's what everyone else does.)

Oh, and K&R -- I love Trent Lott's claim that he's not comparing anything, he's just making an analogy. Would someone puhleeze get this man a dictionary?

response #25 by EarlG:

      No no, he doesn't need a dictionary
He needs one of those books that lists the definitions of words.

Editorials & Other Articles, June 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x290422

On a thread by ronnykmarshall:

      LA on high altert: Paris gets out of jail in about 12 hours!!!
:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:

response #13 by Crabby Appleton:

      WTF-Paris is in jail? when did this happen? why wasn't I informed?

response #14 by Christa:

      Oh boy, have I got news for you!
Anna Nicole Smith died earlier this year.

The Lounge, June 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6649034

OP by LaraMN:

Thanks for the cogent advice, buttwads. I TRIED to call Congress,

but there wasn't any listing in my phonebook for a "Congress," and the closest thing to that was "Congdon, Dale," and let. me. tell. YOU!
He is NOT very nice, and I don't think he cares about America!

That's the last time I listen to you guys!

The Lounge, June 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6649437

On a thread by RamboLiberal:

      Giuliani Slams Bill Clinton on Terrorism

response #24 by Crowman1979:

      What is Giuliani gonna do next?
Blame Clinton for his divorce? Oh wait, it doesn't stop there! Rush will blame clinton for all of the Oxycotin that he's been getting. Michael Savage will blame Clinton for making prank calls. And then Ted Haggard will blame Clinton for shoving that male prostitutes D*** up his A**! This would make into a great board game! :D

response #26 by DinahMoeHum:

      Giuliani couldn't kick a duck in the ass unless he stood on a brick
and even then he misses the mark more than half the time.

:evilfrown:

response #29 by BigDDem:

      Rudy, Rudy, Rudy...
Blaming Bill is soooo 2004, dont you know everything is now Hillary's fault?

Stick around DU, you'll see.

LBN, June 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2894864

OP by EstimatedProphet:

I had a nightmare that all the people I had on ignore moved into my house
They wouldn't leave. I tried to put them on ignore again, but they were actually there so ignore wouldn't work. Meanwhile, I had to listen to them.

:scared:

Honorable mention to all the responses in the thread.

The Lounge, June 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6653058

On a thread by Alamom:

Hillary is Canada's Choice for US President
"TORONTO, June 25 /CNW/Telbec - If Canadians could choose the next US President, it would be Hillary Clinton by a landslide, according to a new poll released
today..."

response #33 by Stop Cornyn:

Black US citizens residing in Florida don't get to vote for president but Canadians do? That sucks!

GDP, June 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3339590

On a thread by IChing:

Ford to World: "Global Warming, Melting Glaciers and Stranded Polar Bears"
"An ad campaign launched today by Ford India seems to be making a mockery of worldwide resistance to global warming. It shows an iceberg apparently destroyed by the SUV and a couple of polar bears stranded on a thin ice sheet..."

response #1 by GoddessOfGuinness:

May the Polar Bear of Happiness bite them in the ass.

GD, June 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1189176

On a thread by NaturalHigh:

      Nude Merkel Montage Raises Eyebrows.

response #6 by YDogg:

      I need new glasses. I thought you said "Erkel." Yet I clicked ...

response #8 by NaturalHigh:

      You wanted to see nude pictures of Erkel?
:rofl: Is there a market for that sort of thing?

GD, June 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1189943

On a thread by kurth:

      Do you go to church to pray or to look at boobs?
"MANILA (Reuters) - The Catholic Church has issued guidelines on what Filipinos should wear to mass in Manila after some parishioners complained about distracting skimpy attire..."

response #5 by iamahaingttta:

      I go for the boobs!
Church is a GREAT place to pick up hot chicks with that burning desire to get filled with the spirit of the lord! As a long-haired, jesus bearded dude, I have no problem getting laid on sunday afternoons!
Catholic chicks are by FAR the easiest!

response #11 by BlooInBloo:

      Holy shit - had I but known, I never would've ripped on religion so hard! My apologies.

response #12 by pscot:

      Pictures please?
As one of the unchurched, I would find illustrations helpful. Preferably the more egregious examples, so we could get a true sense of what we're talking about.

response #19 by rug:

      Why is this an either/or question?

response #26 by porphyrian:

      I don't go to church, but I look at boobs wherever I go.
I can spot a nipple at close to a mile.

GD, June 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1185232

On a thread by sabra:

      Publishers Abuzz Over Possible Rumsfeld Book

response #3 by tanyev:

      If he writes like he talks, he'd better find a ghost writer or it won't make a lick of sense.

response #4 by lurky:

      The title has been leaked to the press:
"Golly Gee Willikers! The Knowns and Unknowns of Invading a Small Country."

LBN, June 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2895541

On a thread by General Lee:

Who's running this nation

response #1 by underpants:

From what I can tell it is Bobby Cutts and Chris Benoit

GDP, June 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3341638

OP by SalmonChantedEvening:

Don't That Beatle?
Hague Trippin’ (To the tune of Day Tripper – The Beatles)

Hundreds of reasons
For taking your sleazy ass out
Hundreds of reasons
There can be no easy way out now

You should be Hague Trippin’
War crimes docket yeah
You’ve done the world wrong
Beyond doubt, ya been found out

Tried for treason
The witness may come to the stand
Tried for treason
And read him the charges at hand now

You should be Hague Trippin’
War crimes docket yeah
You’ve done the world wrong
Beyond doubt, ya been found out

Goodbye decider
Nobody dies when you fail
Goodbye decider
Send us a postcard from jail now

You should be Hague Trippin’
Play Survivor there
You’ve done the world wrong
Beyond doubt, ya been found out

Hague Trippin’
Hague Trippin’ yeah
Hague Trippin’
Hague Trippin’ yeah
Hague Trippin’
Hague Trippin’ yeah
Hague Trippin’
Hague Trippin’ yeah

GD, June 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1197831

OP by burythehatchet:

      BREAKING HARD: Congressional Democrats have conducted a joint caucus
of the House and Senate and the leadership has announced the pending release of a strong statement condemning the non-responsiveness of the White House in producing documents related to the decision to conduct domestic surveillance.

The roughly 200 word statement will be concise, to the point, and relatively hard-hitting in that it indirectly implies a strong disapproval of the actions that the Executive branch has undertaken to shield itself from congressional oversight.

Looking for a link....

***********DEVELOPING**************

response #12 by ulysses:

      "We'll frog-march the suckers," one aide commented, "right into time out."

response #32 by ulysses:

      "When they want to be nice, they can come out and have a hug," he noted.
"But any more of this drawing on the Constitution with crayons and they'll go right back, young man!"

response #14 by kirby:

      DONT MAKE ME PULL THIS CAR OVER!!!! n/t

response #57 by hootinholler:

      It will be delivered with a keg of Dry Powder.
Since there is no longer room to store the latest shipment in the Congressional basement.

response #74 by Telly Savalas:

      You've glossed over the details of this.
The House and Senate have announced that a few members of their caucus have expressed interest in a non-binding resolution outlining a possible 18 month timeline for correspondence with the White House with an option to issue a "strong statement" after 15 months if a bipartisan committee believes the executive branch has failed to meet certain benchmarks. Of course these benchmarks may be waived by the Vice President if he feels they interfere with the conduct of his duties.

This is real progress, folks!

response #96 by rucky:

      I issued a "strong statement" to my daughter about eating candy before dinner.
I hope Congress gets better results than I did.

response #101 by burythehatchet:

      That's OK as long as impeaching your daughter is off the tabe nt

response #115 by Nimrod2005:

      Ok Drudge, Jr. nice work.

GD, June 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1198971

On a thread by me b zola:

      Did Matthews & Elizabeth Edwards make Coulter cry?
If you are able, (re)watch the video of Coulter's appearence on Matthews show from yesterday.

After Elizabeth Edwards called into Matthews show to confront Coulter on her hatefulness, there was clearly was a bead of liquid that appeared on her left cheek as if it had come from her tear duct...

response #1 by Dinger:

      It Was Probably Piss

response #12 by CatWoman:

      And/or vinegar

response #19 by Bucky:

      Probably just hydraulics fluid
Or condensation from the refrigeration chamber she keeps her heart in.

response #2 by Bonhomme Richard:

      Nothing more than bile leakage. n/t

GD, June 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1196729

On a thread by LeftHander:

Coulter is finished...soon she will get help.

response #4 by originalpckelly:

BREAKING: Shark that Coulter jumped goes into rehab, cites trauma from jumping...
as cause for massive cocaine addiction.

GD, June 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1194948

On a thread by Barrett808:

Sept report on Iraq will tell it straight: Petraeus
"HILLA, Iraq (Reuters) - The top U.S. military commander in Iraq on Thursday promised the truth from a progress report on the country that he will deliver to Washington in September..."

response #1 by youngdem:

Translation: Prepare for a Texas sized, heaping shovel full of obfuscation and bullshit
Look, when ANYONE preemptively tells you something they are GONNA tell you is the God's honest Truth, you can take it to the bank you are about to be mugged and left on a country road in your underwear.

LBN, June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2897524

On a thread by WilliamPitt:

So who won the three-millionth-post (sic) contest?

response #1 by stellanoir:

Cheney stole it.
But divulging the specific circumstances would compromise our national security.

Never mind.

GD, June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1204340

OP by Writer:

      Hi. I'm Ann Coulter. Ask me ANYTHING!

response #8 by Commie Pinko Dirtbag:

      Is there any entity, real or imaginary, concrete or abstract, that you don't hate? -nt

response #26 by Writer:

      My hair.
That I love touching CONSTANTLY.

response #75 by Commie Pinko Dirtbag:

      Do you speak of head hair exclusively? -nt

response #14 by Blackhatjack:

      Did you intentionally cast a vote in the wrong voting district after being warned not to do so?

response #36 by Writer:

      I am Ann Coulter. I am above the law!
But Bill Clinton slept with an intern...

What was the question again?

response #91 by hiphopnation23:

      Ann who?
I'm sorry, I have no idea who you are. Please go away now, thanks.

The Lounge (moved from GD), June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6661329

On a thread by skip fox:

Coulter melting down?

response #1 by seemunkee:

Did someone throw water on her?

GD, June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1204960

On a thread by babylonsister:

Outgoing Bush Counselor Bartlett: "If There Was Ever A Do-Over, Mission Accomplished Would Be It"

response #3 by Sentinel Chicken:

If ever there was a do over it would be election 2000.
:banghead:

GD, June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1201775

On a thread by BushOut06:

Dennis Miller calls for death to Ahmadinejad

response #6 by MilesColtrane:

A Fatwa from a fathead...
Dennis, babe, maybe you should call for a bounty on the head of your agent.

AM radio? What's next for you, warming up for Ray Jay Johnson at the Comedy Pouch in Possum Holler?

Then again look at what he's got to work with. Your agent's got a harder gig than the guy that trowels makeup on Cheney before they wheel him in front of the cameras.

GD, June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1203775

On a thread by Judi Lynn:

      Bush urges people to exercise
"WASHINGTON - President Bush, an avid mountain bike rider, says rigorous exercise is great for the mind and body..."

response #7 by Dr.Phool:

      We can all see what exercise did for his mind.
Nope, I'll stay in the house and drink. Kills fewer brain cells.

response #22 by Lisa:

      if by "young" he means "immature", sure -- I can see that! (n/t)

LBN, June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2896441

OP by ck4829:

      What would be a good sign to hang over the entrance into Iraq?
If I had 2 choices, it would be "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here" and "Wrong way."

response #5 by mitchum:

      "Your Tax $$$$$$$$$ At....something"

response #10 by AnnieBW:

      "Pottery Barn Outlet"
We broke it, but we couldn't fix it no matter how much money we threw at it.

response #17 by LibInTexas:

      "Sweets and Flowers This Way" and underneath
"The Surgeon General Has Determined that IEDs and Snipers May Be Present When Encountering Sweets and Flowers."

response #22 by NanceGreggs:

      How about a sign sure to get the US OUT of Iraq ...
... "Sorry - we are permanently out of oil."

response #24 by puebloknot:

      Depleted Uranium Macht Frei!

response #28 by soothsayer:

      BYOWMDs

response #30 by welshTerrier2:

      American Puppet Theatre
Dick Cheney, Proprietor

GD, June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1208382

OP by deminks:

Roberts: The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to
stop discriminating on the basis of race.

What sheer brilliance! Who vetted this dweeeeeeb? Oh yeah, Darth vetted them. Can we expect brilliant sound bites like this one from the court in the future? I can't wait.

:sarcasm:

response #1 by Virginia Dare:

Women and minorities might as well hang it up now..
we're going back to the 19th century in a handbasket. Ahh, the good old days. I must look for my hoop skirt.

GD, June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1206800

OP by Atman:

Potentially Viable Explosive Device (PVED) found in my driveway!!!
IT'S HUGE! Over two thousand pounds, with an ignition device and 14 gallons of highly explosive fuel on board! This is clearly the type of PVED Al Qaeda would use if Al Qaeda were to use this type of device, which is pure speculation, making it even more scary! Those Al Qaedas are getting wiley...my GOD...WAIT! IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE PLANTED ONE OR TWO IN EVERY DRIVEWAY ON MY STREET!

:scared:

GD, June 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1209818

On a thread by babylonsister:

Powell Tells Of Dysfunctional White House, ‘We Weren’t Aware Of The Advice Cheney Was Giving’

response #4 by Solly Mack:

Excuse me while I laugh
I'll only be a moment

back :)

LMAO

no wait...sorry

brb

GD, June 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1211072

On a thread by LeighAnn:

      FBI Advises Dive Schools To Watch For Unusual Students
"The FBI has sent a nationwide alert to scuba instructors to watch for a number of suspicious behaviors among diving students that the agency says could be signs of criminal activity.

Among the behaviors the FBI mentions are 'odd inquiries' about diving in irregular areas - such as murky water or sewer pipes - or requests to learn advanced combat swimming skills such as how to use rebreathers and diver propulsion vehicles.

The FBI also advised instructors to be wary of applicants from countries where diving is an uncommon activity, as well as requests from religious organizations, cults, associations or charitable agencies 'not normally associated with diving...'"

response #1 by chimpsrsmarter:

      ok so if they don't want to learn how to surface someone call the FBI.

response #3 by soothsayer:

      here come the dolphins with explosives on them, the remote control attack toy planes,
and the crop dusters spraying anthrax. terra! t erra~! terra!

response #5 by sfexpat2000:

      "Fa loves Pa!"
:rofl:

response #4 by dotcosm:

      Hmmm .. diving in sewer pipes? Really?
Yeah, a request like that might raise some eyebrows (one hopes).

response #20 by Frank Cannon:

      Sewer scuba: Another of life's simple pleasures ruined...
by terrorists.

response #6 by DeSwiss:

      The FBI has lost it....
..."...and religious organizations, cults, associations or charitable agencies "not normally associated with diving."

Well there goes Noahs Ark Baptist Church's application for diving classes for the Deacon's Board....

response #17 by melody:

      religious organizations, cults, associations "not normally associated with diving"?????
What the hell religious organizations or cults ARE "normally associated with diving"? The First Gospel Church of the Risen Frogman?
Our Lady of Lloyd Bridges? What a weird way to put it.

response #25 by pschoeb:

      isn't there that religious book "The Porpoise Diving Life" ?

response #32 by damntexdem:

      Also, report anyone with green skin, gills, and a propulsive tail.
"I don't need those flippers -- my feet are webbed."

Gotta be careful with those undocumented aliens, after all. ;-)

Other great responses in the thread.

LBN, June 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2897874

On a thread by Elad:

Update on our new hard drive
The failing hard drive has been replaced and the new drive is in place...

response #2 by The Backlash Cometh:

The sooner the better, because I have a date with Ann Coulter.

GD, June 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1211333

OP by WilliamPitt:

Everybody sucks.
Gore sucks, Obama sucks, Kennedy sucks, Pelosi sucks, everyone else sucks, you suck, I suck, DU sucks, everything in all of creation sucks, so let's just all give up.

The morgue is more uplifting than this place.

:eyes:

GD, June 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1209818

OP by bridgit:

      so i bought this tp today, it was cheap & all, but i still have a bad, bad feeling about it...

response #1 by mitchum

The Lounge, June 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6642217

On a thread by file83:

      Cocaine + Corn Field = Modern Art

response #1 by Solly Mack

GD, June 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1197145

OP by Southpawkicker:

      Oh Fuck... (dial up warning)

The Lounge, June 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6655294

OP by blogslut:

      The Dubya Diaries: I Went to War College

GD, June 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1205473