***DUzy Awards for week ending November 2, 2007***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Nov-02-07 05:09 PM
Original message

Welcome to the DUzy Awards, honoring riproaring rebuttals, rocking ridiculousness and rabid ribbing from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The deep blue DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to Kurovski, Viva_La_Revolution, Yael, CaliforniaPeggy, scarletwoman, Greyskye, KitchenWitch, AZDemDist6, eppur_se_muova, unhappycamper, annabanana, stellanoir, hootinholler, bicentennial_baby, BushDespiser12, Buzz Clik, twenty4blackbirds, MuseRider, racaulk and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance.

This belonged in last week's awards.

On a thread by npincus:

"I had sex with Larry Craig"
"... an on-the-record account from a source willing to come forward and tell what it’s like to have an actual romantic liaison with the Idaho Republican. Meet David Phillips, a local IT geek and bear-about-town.

Phillips was recently in a bar minding his own business when he heard Craig’s voice on the television. 'I went pale and nearly vomited,' Phillips says. It was the man he remembered from one of his creepiest sexual encounters twenty years earlier. 'After a truncated meal I went back to my hotel room and began unwinding and jotting down the memories that the voice had opened...'"

Erm, uh, well, go look for yourself. Who won here? Uh, America won.

GD, October 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2137872

On a thread by Herman Munster:

      Scientist: Human race will 'split into two different species'
"The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist...

The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000...

Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, according to Curry in a report commissioned for men's satellite TV channel Bravo.

Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts, according to Curry.

Racial differences will be a thing of the past as interbreeding produces a single coffee-coloured skin tone..."

response #4 by Kingshakabobo:

      I'm a hundred thousand years ahead of my time.....
:rofl:

response #37 by alfredo:

      So which one did you evolve into?

response #38 by Kingshakabobo:

      Let's just say I have a deep voice.........
:)

response #10 by TahitiNut:

      Well, speaking as a dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creature, it'll be nice to have company.
:evilgrin:

response #41 by Evoman:

      How can this be true....I thought the rich fucked the poor all the time?

GD, October 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2145495

On a thread by eppur_se_muova:

Prozac 'found in drinking water' (BBC)
"Traces of the antidepressant Prozac can be found in the nation's drinking water, it has been revealed.

An Environment Agency report suggests so many people are taking the drug nowadays it is building up in rivers and groundwater.

A report in Sunday's Observer says the government's environment watchdog has discussed the impact for human health.

A spokesman for the Drinking Water Inspectorate (DWI) said the Prozac found was most likely highly diluted.

'Alarming'

The newspaper says environmentalists are calling for an urgent investigation into the evidence..."

response #3 by jberryhill:

'Alarming'
Despite the news, people seem to be fairly calm about it.

Environment/Energy, October 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=115x118577

On a thread by walldude:

      Larry Craig to claim arrest was a violation of the Constitution
"Idaho Sen. Larry Craig will argue before an appeals court that Minnesota's disorderly conduct law is unconstitutional as it applies to his conviction in a bathroom sex sting, according to a new court filing.

This is the first time Craig's attorneys have raised that issue. However, an earlier friend-of-the-court filing by the American Civil Liberties Union argued that Craig's foot-tapping and hand gesture under a stall divider at the Minneapolis airport are protected by the First Amendment."

response #5 by IDemo:

      The right to peep and bare arms?

response #26 by bushwentawol:

      Constitution? We have a Constitution in this country?
Who knew? :shrug:

GD, October 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2146391

On a thread by Lochloosa:

HELP! My Asshole Congressman needs his poll repaired on SCHIP

response #56 by porphyrian:

I can't even get my primary vote to count and you've got a Congressman for your asshole?! -n/t

GD, October 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2142855

On a thread by ruiner4u:

      375 lbs of illegal cheese seized
"A Southern California couple is facing criminal charges after allegedly being caught with 375 pounds of 'bathtub' cheese at an open-air market in San Bernardino County, the California Department of Food and Agriculture says.

Floribel Hernandez Cuenca, 29, and Manuel Martin Sanchez Garrido, 44, of Montclair, were arrested for selling a variety of unlicensed cheeses to the public. Ms. Cuenca was also arrested on felony cheese making charges.

The 375 pounds of seized illegal cheese included panela, queso fresco and queso oxaca varieties, the CDFA says. It was a significant find, the department says..."

response #20 by alarimer:

      In order to combat this scourge, the FDA will now require you to show ID
at the dairy case. You can only buy two gallons of milk at a time. And NO curds and whey.

response #26 by DuStrange:

      It's not Illegal Cheese--
it's undocumented cheese!

response #27 by Akoto:

      They'd better have a gouda excuse.

response #41 by Elrond Hubbard:

      i'd expect cheddar of you.
how can you make jokes at a time like this, you muenster?

response #34 by cuke:

      *** NEWS UPDATE ***
After further investigation, the police have said that Ms Cuenca and Mr Garrido are now also facing large fines and additional criminal charges in relation to another of the couple's home-based businesses, La creme de la creme, a drop-off/pick-up diaper laundering service.

A source close to the investigation has reported that the charges and fines were due to multiple sanitation violations, animal cruelty statutes and described a shocking scene. "There must have been at least a dozen bathtubs filled with whey and dirty diapers, and" he stuttered with barely concealed contempt, "and then we saw the animals. Suspended from a pulley attached to the ceiling with their feet flailing in their efforts to free themselves." Further investigation revealed that the animals could be lowered until their flailing feet agitated the whey and diaper filled bathtubs.

Customers arriving at the home of the couple to pick up their diapers were shocked to learn of the unsanitary conditions. "How dare they wash my Brittany's diapers in a vat a whey. They're 400 thread count linen!"

And to the surprise of many, a group of people who have bought some of their cheese over the Internet have banded together in defense of the couples cheese making business and started a website and a legal defense fund named "Cheese Retailers Are Persecuted, Can't You Rapidly Deregulate".

Their web site's homepage (www.crapcurd.org ) claims that scores of their customers have posted on their comments section in support of the couple. Excerpts read

"The truth is, these problems are much more likely to occur from large scale, inspected operations. Would somebody please point out the last time an e. coli, salmonila, or lestiria outbreak has been traced to ANY small producer, licensed or unlicensed."

"...the only reason this is being strictly enforced is to protect the multinationals. Homemade cheese exists around the world, tastes better, and doesn't have all the chemical crap added to it. This "bust" is much ado about nothing. Besides, no one could make a cheese like Manuel and Floribel. Their panela was to die for"

But not everyone was pleased, "Ewwwww, I like cheese, but not cheese someone made in their used bathtub. I prefer my cheese to not have come into contact with someone(s) butt. " wrote "Adam Geldingsma". Rising to the couples defense, the couple's supporters fought back. "Kramer did this on Seinfeld, and there were no problems. What's with all the germophobes" Wesley angrily responded. The ensuing tsunami of rage was only just beginning.

"This is just one symptom of a greater problem. In the coming decades, America is going to have to decide if it's going to a hypermilitarized nanny state, or return to a free nation-one where consenting adults can smoke pot or tobacco, move where and when they want, and (I can't believe this is an issue) making cheese. Freaking *cheese*. For pity's sake, it's JUST CHEESE!! Kawamura can take his "serious threat to public health," and cram it, hard. "

Brian Rakita, adding to the fire said "I would bet dollars to cents that the word "bathtub" in this case is used as a synonym for "home made" and has nothing to do with cheese production in a bathing facility. "

But then, cooler heads prevailed. "I suspect that the most significant cause of this arrest is the word 'unlicensed.' Cheese isn't made in the bathtub, and these particular cheeses are pretty easy to make. I do think that inspections of their facilities are in order, but if the cheeses came out tasting right I think it unlikely that there were other bacteria involved besides the ones that were supposed to be involved. If your cheese goes bad you know it."

Police officials have promised a thorough investigation and then confusingly added "There's no whey to hide in an investigation of this portion".

response #43 by Peake:

      If you make cheese illegal, only criminals will have cheese!
:cry:

:rofl:

response #47 by Xipe Totec:

      Meanwhile, Illegal haggis and gefilte fish goes unchecked! nt

response #48 by Crabby Appleton:

      Watcha in for kid? Felony cheese making nt

response #49 by Generic Brad:

      If you take a hot cheese bath does that make you fondue?
Or do you have to be on a skewer to qualify?

The Lounge, October 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7079482

On a thread by DemocratSinceBirth:

I Don't Like Republicans

response #3 by BlueJazz:

I tried a Few with a Delicious Sauce, perfectly Seasoned and they STILL tasted like Liar.

GD, October 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2150003

On a thread by Gregorian:

      Man who had sex with bike in court
"A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

'They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex...'"

response #4 by ixion:

      I hope the bike was over 18
geez... what a stupid world we live in. :eyes:

response #7 by Xipe Totec:

      She was barely a ten-speed nt

response #17 by Fridays Child:

      Her name is Lola and he's the best she's ever had.
He took the time to pump her tires. The other guys just grab her handles, sit on her, and ride.

response #19 by Gregorian:

      We're here, we're GEAR, get used to it.
Maybe he was trying to start a sexual REVOLUTION.

Argh.

response #22 by JBoy:

      Bush tried to have sex with a Segway
but was rejected. Dude, no means no.

response #40 by HereSince1628:

      There once was a guy with no pockets
who got caught making love to a sprocket
I should mention the spokes
but my rhyming schemes broke
Wondering how a wig wearing judge views this docket.

response #41 by TomInTib:

      Maybe it had double-butted tubing.
And he was crazy 'bout that frame.

response #50 by Islander Expat:

      Gawddamn pedalphiles!

response #53 by Bicoastal:

      This guy couldn't decide if he was hetero or homo...
...so he decided he was bicycual.

response #56 by LeftishBrit:

      It all just goes to show...
that if a country starts getting all secular and goes soft on Immorality and allows civil partnerships, the next thing that will happen is that people will start marrying their bicycles!

Now I wonder what LeftishBrit will do to me when she finds out I've been borrowing her username!

(signed)

Rick Santorum

Other wheelie good responses in the thread...

United Kingdom (moved from LBN), October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=191x22677

On a thread by aggiesal:

      30% of Americans Don't Know When 9/11 Attacks Occurred!!

response #1 by Lautremont:

      I remember that it was in 2001, but I can just never remember the date.

response #2 by shadowknows69:

      Time to start drinking again

response #16 by Xenotime:

      Nobody will tell me who fought in the Spanish-American War

response #18 by BushDespiser12:

      What's that number to call 911 in emergencies?

response #28 by Ahpook:

      Or the recipe for ice?
:)

GD, October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2153333

On a thread by Cruzan:

      Anyone else besides me who's never heard of the word vajayjay?

response #3 by aikoaiko:

      Mulva just never caught on with the masses.
;)

response #5 by eShirl:

      I regret the time I spent finding out what that meant

response #8 by baldguy:

      Tech support in Bangalore?

response #9 by tularetom:

      I heard of Vajayjay Singh

response #29 by DS1:

      The appropriate punishment for saying it is a cockpunch

The Lounge (moved from GD), October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7084819

OP by pstokely:

      Things to send the GOP in those prepaid envelopes that come with $ begging letters
Expired coupons, non-winning lottery tickets

response #11 by johncoby2:

      I always check the $5000 donation box.....
But never send the check.

I get calls from them that I just ignore.

response #12 by Generic Brad:

      A $1 check, but there's a catch
On the memo line, write "For Sexual Favors".

response #13 by Lint Head:

      I usually send a note saying it is illegal to send pornography
through the mail and say that I have also reported it to the Postmaster General. Some young child may receive the fascist propaganda and actually believe it.
:dem:

response #15 by ticapnews:

      Could do a 1 penny donation on a credit card..
Not only is the RNC obligated to pay the postage on your letter, but if they process the 1 cent contribution, they get charged anywhere from $1-5 by the credit card company. So they are losing up to $4.99 on every transaction. A few million of those and they'd be bankrupt. :D
Also, if you use American Express, you can call them and ask them to double check the validity of the charge. AMEX charges "experience points" to each vendor and bills them every time a customer calls about a charge - even if the customer doesn't challenge the charge. :)

response #18 by havocmom:

      I have a really big dog
It's probably illegal to mail dog poop, but I'm not sure. Any lawyers or postmasters in the house?

response #19 by mmonk:

      Something birth control related. We don't need any more of them.

response #21 by L. Coyote:

      Two Bits, and, on the pay to line, "Republican Congressional Criminal Defense Fund"
:rofl: and in the amount line, write, "my two bits." Save the memo line for something nice like, "Good luck with that."

response #39 by orleans:

      okay, then how 'bout this one:
"I'm sorry i'm unable to contribute any money to the republican party this year as i have already donated everything i owned, including my life savings, to the church. however, i am happy the republican party has made me a believer"

GD, October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2154960

OP by NanceGreggs:

      Sunday Night Funnies ...
Let's assume that the administration, White House personnel, RW pundits, and alleged media journalists post regularly in Freeperville. What do you suppose their user names would be?

A few suggestions of my own - please add to the list!

G.W. Bush: Decidererer-in-Cheeef, 2 Cool 4 Skool, NukularNabob

Condi Rice: FerragamoFanatic

Tony Snow: ForkedTongue

Dana Perrino: Will_Lie_4_Bucks

Dick Cheney: Have Gun Will Travel

Donald Rumsfeld: Known Unknown

Rudy Giuliani: 9-11/9-11/9-11/9-11/9-11

Ann Coulter: Bulk-Sales-Bimbo, Adam's Apple Annie

Mitt Romney: UnderwearMagician

Michael Chertoff: Boney-Maroney

Babs Bush: Beautiful-Mind

Poppy (George H.W. Bush I): KidzGoneWild

Laura Bush: Buzzed 'n Bitchin'

Barbie Bush: Duh!Dummie

Jenna Bush: NotBarbie

Rush Limbaugh: Oxy-Brite

Karl Rove: MAD MATH!, Turdie-Boy

Bill O'Reilly: Loofa-Laugher

Bill Kristol: Crystal Balls, NotNostradamus

Bob Novak: In-or-OUTTED

Dennis Hastert: In-&-Not-Outted

Paul Wolfowitz: Boy Who Cried Wolfowitz

Anderson Cooper: Impordand Newz

Dr. Sanjay Gupta: DR-4-BUCKS

Tim Russert: Pressin'Meat4Profit

Katie Couric: Bubble Tease

Mark Foley: Boyz-2-Men

Norm Coleman: SpittleLick

Larry Craig: RiverdanceReprisal

Mitch McConnell: QueerEye4StraightGuy

Mrs. Alito: cry-me-a-river

Bill Frist: AsDiagnosedOnTV

Senator Vitter: ItDependz

Jerry Falwell: BlitheringFromTheBeyond

PLEASE add your own ...

response #2 by SoCalDem:

      Larry Craig...Dancing Queen

response #6 by TomInTib:

      Dougie Feith
AmNot

("the dumbest fucker on the planet")

response #7 by SalmonChantedEvening:

      Bill Frist: AsDiagnosedOnTV LOLOL
Great list Nance!

:yourock:

Gotta couple

Tom Delay: JackHoo or BugJuiceBoi

John Gibson: Lax Headroom

response #9 by krispos42:

      Michael Chertoff: Skelator
Mitt Romney: DogOnAHotCarRoof

response #11 by PollThis:

      John Boehner : QuitStaringAtMyBoehner

response #12 by bahrbearian:

      Mrs. Alito: Really he's not like that at home.

response #13 by SoCalDem:

      Okay...my list
G.W. Bush: Ctrl_Alt_Del
Condi Rice: No1Cd_Imagine

Tony Snow: SnowJob
Dana Perrino: IceQueen
Dick Cheney: Prez
Donald Rumsfeld: Ih8_oldEurope
Rudy Giuliani: WTC911
Ann Coulter: IH8evry1
Mitt Romney: hairspray

Michael Chertoff: Skeletor
Babs Bush: Eatoatmeal
Poppy.. Bailout
Laura Bush: Xanaxany1
Barbie Bush: the other one

Rush Limbaugh: GotOxy

Karl Rove: rattlesneak_in_the_grass

Bill O'Reilly: Peabodywinner

Bill Kristol: YOUgofight
Bob Novak: Chicletchompers
Dennis Hastert: wrassle_yeti

Paul Wolfowitz: wantedbankjob
Anderson Cooper: imporDant_BriDain
Dr. Sanjay Gupta: ResidentExpert
Tim Russert: Potat8ohead
Katie Couric: perky4vr
Mark Foley: cmerelittleboy
Norm Coleman: whatdentalwrk

Larry Craig: DancingQueen
Mitch McConnell: yrtlturtle

Mrs. Alito: bwaaaaaaah
Bill Frist: luvcats
Senator Vitter: CHANGE ME

Jerry Falwell: hotdownhere

GD, October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2154762

On a thread by sasquatch:

I just heard Hank Williams jr. "If the South would've won we'd have it made"

response #3 by dicksteele:

Assuming "we" means "isolationist , eduphobic, neo-caucasian racists", he's probably correct.
Funny enough though: the fact that "we" meant "isolationist , eduphobic, neo-caucasian racists"
150 years ago is a major reason why the South didn't win. :silly:

HW Jr is a waste of perfectly good oxygen, not to mention alcohol.

You could have put a microphone in a men's room, fed Johnny Cash
two pounds of bad fish, and recorded an hour of audio with more
intelligence and genuine artistic vision than any album HW Jr ever released.

The Lounge, October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7080127

On a thread by SoDesuKa:

      Why Is Brit Hume So Angry?

response #1 by TheFarseer:

      because everything he says turns out to be wrong? n/t

response #3 by The_Casual_Observer:

      If you had promoted the bush agenda faithfully for years &
looked like droopy dog you would be pretty moody too.

response #6 by madrchsod:

      hemorrhoids?
it's the edge he has to have to stay ahead of the talent at fox news

response #17 by wlucinda:

      Cause his mama named him Brit?

response #26 by NuttyFluffers:

      because i routinely astrally project and pee in his cornflakes.
it's part of my contribution to the world. you're all welcome.

:7

response #28 by youthere:

      The foreskin keeps creeping up around his neck and it itches something fierce.

GD, October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2155541

On a thread by Don Davis:

      CANDIDATE COLBERT, STAYING TRUE TO FORM, PLANS DEBATES WITH HIMSELF!

response #1 by faygokid:

      He is a tool of the snack food industry. His hands are stained with graft and Doritos.
It's time for all DUers to stand up for honest government - a government that has no place for bears.

Especially gay bears.

Who are immigrants.

response #2 by Uncle Joe:

      If he does that too much, he can go blind. n/t

Editorials & Other Articles, October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x317444

On a thread by truckin:

      What will congress do if Bush attacks Iran?
I was just at a local fundraiser with my freshman congressman. He has done a good job in his 9 months in office and I have a lot of respect for him. I asked him if congress had any plan to stop Bush from attacking Iran. He responded by saying how can they stop Bush if he illegally starts a war with Iran? I then asked him if the Democrats in congress had any plan if Bush does bomb Iran. He said he didn't think Bush was crazy enough to do this and that he does not hear a drumbeat towards war in the House...

response #1 by msongs:

      apologize for getting in his way? nt

response #2 by scarletwoman:

      Pass a resolution saying they support the troops. (nt)

response #11 by notsodumbhillbilly:

      Advise your congressman to see an audiologist ASAP
"...he does not hear a drumbeat towards war..."

GD, October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2154254

OP by Midlodemocrat:

      I have psychic abilities. Ask me anything.
My current prediction is that there will be a flame war in GD over psychic abilities.

Yup. I was right.

response #1 by NightWatcher:

      where are my socks
come on psychic, prove your worth

response #2 by Midlodemocrat:

      Where all socks are. Lost in the dryer. Next?

response #3 by rurallib:

      What question am I going to ask you?

response #20 by redqueen:

      Have I still got it?
:D

response #22 by Midlodemocrat:

      Yes. But it's overdue by now and there's a large fine waiting.

response #33 by EstimatedProphet:

      How many fingers am I holding up?

response #39 by Midlodemocrat:

      The number you chose.

response #45 by EstimatedProphet:

      One. Guess which one then.
:P

response #47 by Midlodemocrat:

      I guess two, but you'll just change it to make me look bad.
x(

response #49 by EstimatedProphet:

      Wrong! It's 13!

response #50 by malta blue:

      Will I come to blows with my
fundy MIL at Christmas dinner?

response #56 by Midlodemocrat:

      No. You are too nice. She deserves it though.

The Lounge, October 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7083324

On a thread by William769:

      Hey DU GLBT community.
Did you know we are sycophants over the Obama Mcbigot fiasco?

response #4 by dsc:

      I have posted my last thread on this
I just can't take anymore. I tried to pray away the gay and it didn't work.

response #7 by MNDemNY:

      Try "Lava" it has pumice.
;)

response #9 by Chovexani:

      Oh, and drama queens too.
Don't forget that.

You know when I woke up this morning, after I had my cup of Earl Grey, I sat down with my copy of The Gay Agenda and plotted to smear Obama.

response #19 by Sapphocrat:

      Well done, comrade.
Next directive from HQ due to arrive within minutes.

The cock crows at midnight.

response #22 by Bluebear:

      The pink flamingo swims to Belgium at dawn.

response #40 by ronnykmarshall:

      Roberta that!
We don't use the hetero "Rodger that".

GDP, October 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3659842

On a thread by Commie Pinko Dirtbag:

      Loungers, what is your fav 'unethical' food?

response #1 by NightWatcher:

      I love southern fried baby seals

response #4 by Canuckistanian:

      Spotted Owl Fricassée
With a lovely Ozark cave fish caviar.

Delish.

response #7 by primate1:

      California Condor Jerky is mighty tasty.

response #25 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      Tastes just like Bald Eagle
Funny...

response #26 by primate1:

      Nah, it's more tender with a slightly more tangy endangeredness.

response #31 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      And don't forget...
that eagle has the distinct aftertaste of freedom.

response #13 by jeff30997:

      The best Chinese food I ever had:
Roasted Panda with Rice (Condi Rice.It taste like chickenhawk.). :evilgrin:

response #27 by EOO:

      Soylent Green

response #30 by Deep13:

      financial misconduct souffle n/t

The Lounge, October 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7085970

OP by SoDesuKa:

      Is Huckabee a Bigger Jerk than Romney?
I thought some kind of limit had been reached with Mitt Romney. Nobody could be a bigger jerk than that. Surely the Republican Party has nowhere to go but up.

Then I watched an interview with Mike Huckabee. Wow! He sure gives Romney a run for his money.

response #2 by Beelzebud:

      Which of these assholes smells better?
:D

response #6 by GrpCaptMandrake:

      They're both fundies
By definition, that means they're both crazier than a sprayed roach.

response #11 by damntexdem:

      Now, now -- size isn't everything!
I'm sure that both excel at jerkiness. Why make it a competition?

GD, October 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2158987

On a thread by antiimperialist:

Was Bin Laden's last video faked? Video analysts debate whether al-Qaida doctored the video

response #27 by sagesnow:

Of coarse you mean al-CIAda.
Stay tuned folks for the next al-CIAda presentation of
"Cave Crawling for Dummies"
or
"Where have you bin Laden??"

LBN, October 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3046951

OP by Ishoutandscream2:

My day as a high school counselor - Friday, October 26th
Hello, I'm James, a lefty counselor (like there's good, god-fearing Christians who would do this), and a proud member of a leftist teacher's union planning to take over the nation, albeit very subversively.

I want to go over a typical day in my work. Friday the 26th would be a good example.

Early Friday, I enrolled 4 gays and lesbians to infiltrate our school and convert straight students to the gay lifestyle. This is part of the homosexual agenda that we have been working on for several years, and we're seeing some results. Students seem to be more tolerant, and we are seeing more students adopt the lifestyle. These four undercover students can continue to push the agenda, and hopefully we'll have added more to our cause.

2nd period - the state has mandated the pledges for America and Texas be recited over the speaker and rooms. Then the students have to acknowledge a moment of silence. Well, this liberal was going to put a stop to that. I was able to get on the all call during the pledges, and when it came to the part of "under God," I screamed into the phone "under the Flying Spaghetti Monster." Then, during the moment of silence, I was able to get back on the all call and play some backward masking tracks from The Beatles and Pink Floyd.

Third period - to the health classes! Fourth period is lunch, and I wanted to hand out condoms to all the students. I wanted to promote sex by handing these out - we all know that giving out condoms will make our students more promiscious. Abstinance training is no fun - students will be taught that sex is bad and that means they will never do it before marriage! We can't have that! I'm hoping that handing out the condoms will get some of our kids to have sex after lunch behind the portables. It's part of our liberal agenda.

Fifth period - visit English classes and discuss some literature. Today, it's the book "My Two Dads." Now I know it's a bit elementary, but it's good to discuss this situation with the students as part of the homosexual agenda. Discussion is good, and we get to bad mouth the more traditional marriages. Again, maybe we can convert more students to the homosexual lifestyle.

6th period - hitting the American history classes. We are going to discuss how evil our founding fathers were, and that we should reject them for their evil ways. We will discuss wonderful socialists throughout the century, and praise Fidel Castro for being able to continue to keep his revolution going under the threat of America' evil imperialistic urges. As part of our overall agenda, we must promote a hatred of all things American.

7th period - the weekend is coming up, and I'm back in health classes. My topic of discussion is to those who may not have dates this weekend. We talked about masturbation, and the best ways of doing this. What I found out was alarming, and Al Franken was right - our high school students are masturbating at a fifth grade level! This is a problem that we must address!

End of the day. One of my Freshman came to me saying she was pregnant. No problem I said, I have the name of a good abortion doctor. I told her she didn't have to get a parent signature; I would forge one. I told her to keep having sex, and that is alright if she got pregnant again. The liberal agenda is abortions on demand, and we want to continue having as many young women possible having abortions.

Whew, what a day, but we liberals in education are winning the culture wars! We are promoting the homosexual agenda, a hatred of America, a dim view of religion, and SEX SEX SEX!! It's a difficult job, but those of us working in the trenches have to keep the fight going. Oh, and by the way, DEATH TO AMERICA.

Freepers will probably read this, and think it's true. But this is the way they see public education in our country. Nothing, obviously, can be further from the truth. If I did any of these things, my ass would be gone. And this would happen to anyone else in this country also. So when I hear people like O'Really talking about "social indoctrination," I just laugh. What planet do these people live on?

GD, October 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2157481

On a thread by driver8:

      I have a "Cheney / Satan '08" bumpersticker on my car. This morning
I was at a stop light and this older gentleman pulled up beside me and signaled for me to roll my window down. I rolled it down and he says, "Hillary would NEVER run with Cheney"...

It took me a second but then I busted up laughing. The man gave me a wave and a grin and then off he went. I thought that was pretty funny.

response #16 by pingzing58:

      Her politics are Republican - four more years of war! Evil in a dress!

response #71 by Kurovski:

      "Evil in a dress"? Oh please!
Stop obfuscating. It's "evil in a pantsuit."

response #63 by SlipperySlope:

      Everybody stand up and check your asses...
I think there might be a few sticks shoved up them.

It was a joke. Don't take everything so seriously.

response #74 by Kurovski:

      Sir! I take great offense at that!
As a good Democrat, I'll put whatever I want up my ass!

Lots of discussion about the nature of "funny" in this thread, some of it quite funny.

GD, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2165543

On a poll by Quixote1818:

      Can you read this?
I am able to read this at normal speed. Only a couple of words tripped me up. Supposedly 55 out of 100 should be able to read this:

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

response #1 by BattyDem:

      I can read it. Wow ... it's weird how the mind works.
:crazy:

On edit: I'll never trust my proofreading skills again!

response #5 by Buzz Clik:

      Tahnk gdooness! I tuhoght tihs wsas anthoer fckunig Oabmma trehad.

response #13 by rucky:

      But I still can't make sense of a Bush press conference. n/t

GD, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2165322

On a thread by NNN0LHI:

Blitzer did not challenge Huckabee's claim that Saddam "said that he had" WMD

response #1 by karlrschneider:

If Blitzer knew nine more things
he would be an idiot.

GD, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2164844

On a thread by RamboLiberal:

      Sharpton chides Cheney over Confederate flag flap
"Nobody got shot, but Vice President Cheney still fired up controversy Monday when he went hunting at a private club that hangs the Confederate flag..."

A Daily News photographer captured the 3-by-5 foot Dixie flag affixed to a door in the garage of the Clove Valley Gun and Rod Club in upstate Union Vale, N.Y....

Farm-bred pheasants were released on the preserve 24 hours before Cheney arrived, making them easy targets for the hunting party..."

response #10 by eShirl:

      "Farm-bred pheasants were released on the preserve 24 hours before Cheney arrived"
In addition, hatchery-raised salmon were released into several barrels.

response #12 by Buns_of_Fire:

      It's all just a misreading on DICK's part. He was at the wrong place all along.
Their brochure said it was a pheasant hunt. DICK misread it as "peasant."

response #13 by Mend:

      if cheney had served his country in uniform he might have
learned how to aim...of course we never needed to defend our country against wingless pigeons, so I can understand why he dodged and dodged again.

LBN, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3047141

OP by themaguffin:

Here's your post debate coverage now
"We expected fireworks but no mistakes from Hillary so she wins!"

"Obama brought up the war vote" "Edwards really came after her, but the everybody was focused on Hillary and Obama"

"....Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary..."

"Biden won the debate, but his polls numbers are very low, so Hillary won. Enough about Joe"

"....Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary..."

"Dodd made some interesting points, moving on..."

"....Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary..."

"...Kucinich really had them with that line...."

"....Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary..."

GDP, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3663082

OP by motocicleta:

MWM, 37, ISO a candidate I can really love.
Financially independent ample yet athletic married father of two seeks a strong leader for 24/7, eight year relationship. I'm into environmental protection, sustainable economies, peak oil, choice, civil rights, and gay marriage. Seeking similar.

Likes: women, minorities, immigrants, but have a thing for ex-Vice Presidents.
Dislikes: homophobia, warmongers, corporate personhood/subsidies/bailouts.

I have a ton to offer, and I don't need much in return. I've been looking for what feels like my entire life, and nobody fits me and my needs. I'm even willing to have my taxes raised, if you know what I mean. ;-) Just don't start any wars, 'kay?

PM me with a pic if you think you might the one. I'll be waiting!

GDP, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3662961

On a thread by zbdent:

Pope says that pharmacists should follow their morals when faced with
prescriptions that contradict their religous beliefs ...

response #1 by toddaa:

Well, if that's the case, here's to more Rastafarian pharmacists

Religion/Theology, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=214x153014

On a thread by ohiosmith:

Man caught having sex with corpse of 92 year old
"According to authorities, a security guard spotted 24-year-old Anthony Merino performing sexual acts with the body of the 92-year-old in the morgue at the Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, New Jersey..."

response #9 by Forkboy:

Necrophilia...when you absolutely have to crack open a cold one.
:hide:

Other funny stuff, but the Academy gets enough complaints as is.

The Lounge, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7087914

On a thread by malaise:

      Breaking News: Navy says F18 practice bomb
accidentally dropped on a Virginia beach warehouse...

response #5 by rocknation:

      Sounds like somebody in the Navy
needs a lot more practice.

:(

response #12 by Ezlivin:

      Good thing it wasn't "accidentally" loaded with nuclear weapons
But, hey, our military would never, ever fuck up like that, right?

(No, they wouldn't because of a little thing called chain of command.)

response #16 by Benhurst:

      No story here. Typical precision bombing.

response #22 by Parche:

      Too Bad
They weren't flying over Crawford TX............... :hi:

response #23 by malaise:

      Not really
would have been a meeting of the duds. :D

response #30 by hootinholler:

      Was it a carpet bomb?
That's what you would use on a carpet warehouse.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2165729

OP by KoKo01:

      Tucker Blabs "Boomer Hate!" He got his "Talking Points" from the RNC!
Those Boomers (a 20 year generation) are stealing from America...they want HIllary ...Loved Elvis...protested against wars...and loved JFK and those WOMEN over 45 just adore Hillary...because she "broke the glass ceiling." But...those Boomers should be GONE...and Tucker asked the Valley Girl and the Other Female (in the panel) on his show if "THEY WOULDN'T BE HAPPY WHEN ALL THOSE BOOMERS ARE GONE!!!! They both said they would be happy when the Boomers are gone.

"BOOMER HATE!" The NEW KARL ROVE MEME! Coming to your TEEVEE SCREEN NIGHTLY!

(truth is they are scared to death of BOOMERS who had more idealism than Tucker and his Ilk will EVER have in their whole sorry, corporate whore lifetime.

This, of course, is to MASK the RICH IN AMERICA living like KINGS while everyone else lives in Serfdom working for wages at Applebees, Mickey D's or whatever Service Industry that doesn't pay for health insurance or a living wage that can support a family. :-(

response #1 by Taverner:

      It's usually a bad idea to attack a demographic this large
Kinda comes back to bite ya

response #10 by Hardhead:

      It's like a new version of original sin
Guilty because you were born.

GD, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2167946

Poll question by dotcosm:

      A nonsequitur and a question
There are only two types of people in the world: those who agree with that statement, and those who don't.

I'm editing to add this: if you disagree with the statement (even if you don't vote) please post your argument. I need entertainment.

:bluebox: Agree

:bluebox: Disagree

response #1 by Bucky:

      There is another...
She is your twin sister, Leia.

response #2 by Az:

      There are 10 kinds of people in the world
Those who can count in binary and those who can't.

response #7 by onenote:

      Can I vote twice?

At press time, "Disagree" was winning with 67% of the votes. Sadly, both of them are wrong.

GD, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2167037

OP by MrCoffee:

      i flamed myself in GD and lived to tell the tale
i was in the Lounge, and i clicked on a Lounge-thread link to a thread in GD, and it opened a new browser window with GD in it, even though i was still in the Lounge in the first window. so then i used the first window to go to GD and met myself in the thread in the second window. so now i figure that i'm in Schrodinger's box, and that my dual-state probability existence is tenuous at best. or i'm enmeshed in a web of paradox from which the multiple MrCoffee-forms will eventually collapse into the meta-MrCoffee, which could actually cause the destruction of the universe proper.

response #1 by flvegan:

      You flamed yourself? Obvious flip-flopper.

response #2 by MrCoffee:

      i'm the only one brilliant enough to see through my bullshit.

The Lounge, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7090612

On a thread by spanone:

      Karen Hughes......Bwahahahahahaaa
"Condi Rice praised Hughes' accomplishments in polishing the U.S. image abroad, especially in the Muslim world, and thanked her for her 'wisdom and advice...'"

response #1 by IanDB1:

      Did she also thank her for explaining how to extinguish a fire using gasoline? n/t

response #2 by BlueJazz:

      I've always admired Karen as being a person who puts God and Country First.
Bless her. She has served our country well.

response #5 by Fridays Child:

      M'kay.
:yoiks:

response #8 by spanone:

      shirley, you jest.

response #9 by BlueJazz:

      It's Halloween.....Tonight I'm coming to DU as a Freeper.
:)

response #13 by Fridays Child:

      Well, you're scaring the beejeezus outta me.
Good show.

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2177927

On a thread by Husb2Sparkly:

      Richard Carlson's little boy seems to have a lot of time off of late
David Schuster is subbing for him again...

response #1 by babylonsister:

      I treasure his absences! nt

response #3 by GreatCaesarsGhost:

      he's out trick-or-treating.

response #5 by jgraz:

      What is he going as? A grown man?

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2177705

OP by sniffa:

jeez! this AG nomination hearing is torture.
thank you, thank you. i'LL be here aLL week.

The Lounge, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7092209

On a thread by proud2Blib:

      Van emits mysterious smoke that sickens nearby drivers
"Just in time for Halloween, the Kansas Highway Patrol has a mystery on its hands.

At least two motorists last week reported becoming ill after driving through an odd cloud of smoke, sometimes described as pinkish, coming from inside a van. Both sought hospital treatment. One said he missed two days from work..."

response #1 by Lautremon:

      I think that's probably my friend Matt.
The guy has never cleaned his van once, and it's disgusting in there.

response #11 by Opposite Reaction:

      Chem trail juice.
Never use the lowest bidder to transport your secret sauce.

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2178233

On a thread by Bluebear:

      "Why can we have a Miss Black America pageant and not a Miss White America pageant?"

response #1 by Atman:

      And how come Miss UNIVERSE always comes from planet Earth?
Things that make you go hmmmm...

response #18 by Love Bug:

      Diebold tallies the votes?

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2173843

On a thread by wienerdoggie:

      Presidential Candidate Sex Scandal Looming?

response #60 by H2O Man:

      Stephen Colbert .....
He reportedly was seen in a movie theater, watching an old Pee Wee Herman flick. Please don't say that I told you this. It's "hush-hush," until Bill O'Reilly exposes it.

response #106 by youthere:

      I can't picture Bush having a sex life....
that extends beyond humping the couch arm in the oval office and sniffing Cheney's crotch on occasion.

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2176476

On a poll by NewHampster:

      What to wear when I witness Hillary filing for the NH Primary?

response #9 by GrpCaptMandrake:

      You REALLY don't want to wear a suit!
The "just another suit" comment says it all.

Sometimes, in some occasions, one simply has to choose the appropriate attire.

Hillary's one of those who moves in the Suitmosphere. Wear the suit. Outward appearances are very important to them.

Wanna wear the Grateful Dead or Bugs Bunny tie? You're following the wrong campaign. That would be utterly unremarkable in Dennis' camp. You could probably even bring your hacky-sack!

(For the record, I'm a Kucinich supporter)

response #11 by LWolf:

      Wear pink. n/t

response #27 by ThomWV:

      A "GORE '08" T-shirt and a hula skirt
What the hell, at least you'd become a national hero over it.

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2173499

On a poll by madfloridian:

Harold Ford: "I caution anybody who continues to talk about the past" in Iraq

response #84 by sampsonblk:

"Don't bring up Iraq, because we fucked up too!"-nt

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2172561

On a thread by WilliamPitt:

      A humble request to DUers regarding "Hillary"
Someone here posted a thread a few weeks ago asking why everyone, not just on DU but all across the web and the news media, calls Clinton "Hillary." Everyone says "Obama" instead of "Barack," says "Edwards" instead of "John," but that same everyone says "Hillary" instead of "Clinton." I don't recall the specifics of the follow-on discussion, but the original post itself was enough to alter my own behavior. I have tried, after that post, to be attentive to my use of names and refer to her as "Clinton," and sometimes as "Senator Clinton" if there is a risk of confusing her with her husband in the discussion...

response #6 by jgraz:

      If you don't mind, I'll continue using the standard, accepted name for her
"Hawky McPanderface"

response #93 by Lilith Velkor:

      I sometimes refer to Dennis as "Koochie-Woochie."
Gawd, I can't believe I'm admitting this in public. :blush:

As for the Senator, I tend to refer to her as Clinton when speaking, and HRC in print.

And as long as I'm saying something kind of embarassing, I might as well go ahead and admit I like the name "Hilldog" 'cause it sounds so gangsta.

:hide:

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2177741

On a thread by rodeodance:

      Curtis fallout minimal, GOP leaders say
"Washington Republicans moved swiftly to cut off the scandal involving Rep. Richard Curtis of La Center, removing his name from the House GOP Web site within hours of his announced resignation.

A spokesman for the state Republican Party said Curtis’s political career was over, but discounted any long-term political effect for other party members. Curtis’ decision to resign stands in contrast to that of U.S. Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho, who announced plans to resign then changed his mind as he tries to withdraw a conviction for soliciting sex in an airport restroom, Josh Kahn said.

'It’s not going to be in the public mind for long,' Kahn said. The Craig situation is 'a textbook case of the thing you don’t do, you don’t drag it out...'”

response #2 by bluestateguy:

      Yes, "you don't drag it out"
Quite an apropos choice of words there. :rofl:

response #3 by Nostradammit:

      “It’s not going to be in the public mind for long,” Kahn said
"You are getting sleeeeepy. You will soon forget all that you have seen."
Kahn added, while waving a big gold watch.

LBN, November 1, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3049795

OP by GoddessOfGuinness:

The other night I dreamed that Gerald Ford ran for president...
and won the rethug nomination despite the handicap of being dead.

response #1 by MADem:

Well, dead, brain-dead....what's the diff, really? He couldn't do worse than the incumbent. nt

GD, November 1, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2185657

On a thread by themartyred:

      Totino's and Jeno's pepperoni pizza recalled due to E. coli
"Almost five million Totino's and Jeno's frozen pizzas with pepperoni toppings are being recalled because the pepperoni may be contaminated with E. coli, General Mills Inc said on Thursday...”

response #1 by shain from kane:

      I'm guessing cardboard is next. n/t

response #3 by TommyO:

      Cardboard is included in the recall
both the box and crust are made of it.

Is my local pizza place any safer? I don't know, but I do know that the pizza is better than 99% of the frozen stuff out there.

response #6 by gatorboy:

      It's not E. coli...
It's DiGiorno!

response #7 by Hubert Flottz:

      Bush thought General Mills was in Iraq surging!

response #21 by earthboundmisfit:

      Ya know, the e.coli contaminant takes the term "crappy pizza"
to a whole new level!

GD, November 1, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2185188

OP by eppur_se_muova:

An interesting statistic I came across ...
"Mental disorders are common in the United States and internationally. An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older — about one in four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year."

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/statistics/index.shtml

Bu**sh** is down to 24% support.

So the conclusion: Even one mentally ill person in twelve still knows better than to support Bu**sh**.

GD, November 1, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2187631

OP by hedgehog:

      If you waterboarded a kitten, you'd go to jail. Why should it be different
if you waterboard a human?

response #1 by Lance_Boyle:

      I heard that
every time you waterboard a kitten, God masturbates.

response #4 by Ezlivin:

      What if that kitten knows of a full litterbox somewhere?
We need that information now!

Think, man, think!

GD, November 2, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2190730

OP excerpt by WilliamPitt:

An article that just kicks the **ever-lovin' shit** out of Tim Russert. Enjoy.
I sure as hell did. Russert is so full of shit, he squeaks going into a turn; you can smell him coming two counties away...

(Sorry for the rant, here's the article, feast)

http://prospect.org/cs/articles?article=tim_russert_stop_the_inanity

response #4 by tularetom:

I just got up and logged on
and this was the first thing I read. Made my whole day.

Russert is the political equivalent of the hero worshipping jock sniffing sports writer. He is in awe of the famous and powerful and he seems almost giddy when giving somebody like cheney one of his patented 60 minute on air blow jobs...

GD, November 2, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2189406

On a thread by Egnever:

      Obama is anti gay!
Riiiight!

Every single piece of legislation relating to gays that he has come across in his career so far he has landed on the right side of gay issues and some that he actually proposed himself. But because he invited a popular gospel singer to an event intended to get religious people in the door he must all of a sudden have turned into a gay basher...

response #25 by FredScuttle:

      the same song and dance the LGBT community has been hearing for years
1988: Gay and Lesbian what? Oh Christ, back in the closet with you!

1992: Huh? Oh yeah...if you don't make a lot of ruckus, we'll take care of you when we win

1996: This re-election is crucial, so don't make a big scene about your "rights" and such shit....we promise we'll make it up to you

2000: Christ, this Bush guy is pretty slick! He's gaining a lot of ground with this compassionate conservatism schtick. It's going to be a ultra-tight election, so don't rock the boat and embarass

us....we'll make it right with you when we win

2004: We have to get bush out of office. All other issues must take a lower priority. That includes you gays and lesbians....can't you see the Republicans are killing us on gay marriage?!! We'll take care of

you after the election

2008:?????

response #37 by hulklogan:

      2008: Stop your uppity gay whining, we need the new anti-gay votes to win the election nt
edited to add this: :sarcasm:

response #145 by terrya:

      Yeah, who gives a shit about us whiny homos
We're secretly all Hillary supporters. And we've got an agenda. To destroy Barack Obama. It's been in place for months now. The McClurkin thing was just a ruse.

GDP, November 2, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3674959

On a thread by babylonsister:

Cheney: Hugo Chavez is the President of Peru.
"This morning in a speech in Dallas, a reporter asked Vice President Cheney about his views on Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Cheney responded that the people of Peru 'deserve better' leadership..."

response #1 by MADem:

What HO!! Could it beeee??? Have they found OIL in Peru?????
That's the only way I can account for such a clumsy error!!!

GD, November 2, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2192787

OP by bob_weaver:

      What disasters are likely in your area? (maps)

GD, October 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2148020

On a thread by johnfunk:

      Your weekend laff-riot: Jonah Goldberg, punk'd on amazon.com!

response #3 by jgraz

response #5 by dicksteele

response #6 by johnfunk

GD, October 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2150375

On a thread by lynyrd_skynyrd:

      Be honest - You're in a bus full of people. Do you feel safe knowing some have guns?

response #21 by leveymg

GD, October 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2150404

On a thread by SoCalDem:

      Just what every family needs for Christmas.. The Couch Dress

response #5 by BlueJazz

The Lounge, October 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7079762

OP by 0xDEADBEEF:

      Mitt Romney Already Forming a Team to Hunt For Bin Laden

response #9 by Bitwit1234

response #12 by zbdent

Politics/Campaigns, October 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=108x124937

On a thread by trumad:

      Who ever the next Prez will be--- they'll need curtains.

response #13 by Rosemary2205

response #39 by me b zola

GD, October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2153802

OP by ElsewheresDaughter:

      Remember when Halloween was scary and......

GD, October 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2150734

OP by burythehatchet:

      Is Al Gore's house too ostentatous?

GD, October 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2161043

OP by bob_weaver:

      Blackwater to release Christmas album

response #1 by SpiralHawk

response #6 by Fridays Child

response #8 by citizen_jane

response #9 by stellanoir

GD, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2164585

On a thread by bob_weaver:

      Brand-new freeperism:

response #9 by MichaelHarris

response #10 by SeattleGirl

response #35 by TheDoorbellRang

response #26 by izquierdista

response #31 by NuttyFluffers

response #39 by hootinholler

response #41 by TahitiNut

response #57 by Z_I_Peevey

Plenty more cheeky remarks...

GD, October 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2160943

On a thread by malaise:

      Breaking News: Navy says F18 practice bomb

response #26 by Bucky

GD, October 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2165729

OP by stephinrome:

      My jack-o-lantern

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2178388

On a thread by Hepburn:

      Ass O' Lantern

response #1 by mcscajun

response #3 by Hepburn

response #4 by Solly Mack

response #6 by hootinholler

response #10 by dicksteele

response #18 by MiniMe

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2179156

On a thread by Kadie:

      Karen Hughes news conference - pics

response #1 by Bonobo

response #10 by graywarrior

response #11 by appleannie1

response #15 by Kurovski

response #18 by sundancekid

responses #33 & #47 by Swamp Rat

response #36 by Old Broad

response #61 by ncteechur

GD, October 31, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2174663

On a thread by MiniMe:

      Hagel pulls a halloween prank on Joe Biden

response #2 by wienerdoggie

response #5 by IanDB1

GD, November 1, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2182855

On a thread by deminks:

      Oh, god. Caption the Jack-O-Lantern (graphic)

response #1 by Snarkoleptic

response #2 by daninthemoon

response #3 by Patsy Stone

response #4 by pinkpops

response #5 by eppur_se_muova

response #6 by homerk

response #7 by Azathoth

GD, November 1, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2187133

Poll question by sniffa:

      who wiLL you vote for?

response #1 by Buzz Clik

response #3 by demnan

response #5 by hijinx87

response #9 by Crunchy Frog

response #13 by Capn Sunshine

response #14 by MuseRider

GDP, November 2, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3676232