***DUzy Awards for week ending November 30, 2007***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Nov-30-07 10:06 PM
Original message

Welcome to the DUzy Awards, honoring lapidary lip, luscious lollygagging and liberal licks from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The brass-balled DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to havocmom, CaliforniaPeggy, dicksteele, annabanana, Tuesday Afternoon, MuseRider, BleedingHeartPatriot, femmedem, scarletwoman, Kurovski, stellanoir, unhappycamper, Peake, Buzz Clik, Contrary1, Viva_La_Revolution, malta blue, sfexpat2000, bleever, rocknation, Patsy Stone, Greyskye, Lars39, hootinholler and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance.

For the record, I have no idea who or what Clinton hostage guy is. For that matter, World War III could have been fought and won today for all I know. The power's still on, the computer's still working and discussion on DU apparently continues. That is all I know and all I need know, apparently.

This should have appeared last week.

On a thread by The ThomWV:

      Many A Deer Will Die Today
In West Virginia, and other eastern states, hunting season for white tail deer with a gun is in full swing right now. Thanksgiving day is the hottest hunting day here. In our county the public schools are closed for the entire week and the woods have been crawling with young folk since very early monday morning...

response #5 by Skink:

      Cheney's up early.

response #42 by gulliver:

      His deer is anesthesized and ready for Cheney to shoot him.
Big old 18-point buck trucked in from a Montana petting zoo... With the deer unconscious, Cheney should be able to hit him on the fourth or fifth shot. Then the NYT will print a story about Cheney "bagging a buck" this year.

response #8 by cosmik debris:

      Hunting season on carrots is year 'round.
Baby spinach is slaughtered daily in the valleys of California. People don't even seem to think twice before destroying the embryonic corn and beans.

Why Oh Why are we such a cruel species that kills just for our own nutritional gratification.

I just don't get it.

:)

response #17 by MADem:

      I'll admit, I frequently stalk and slaughter the baby lettuces....
and I don't think twice about annihilating whole families, joined together, of tomatoes.

And here's the worst of it...I ENJOY it!! I'm the Ted Bundy of the salad set!

response #124 by MonkeyFunk:

      Jesus wept
then he fished.

response #186 by MrScorpio:

      I once shot a deer in Reno
Just to watch him die

GD, November 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2329557

OP by rhett o rick:

Get real you impeachment nuts! All you have on Bush and Cheney
are treason, violation of the Constitution, breaking the FISA laws, using propaganda against the American people to justify an illegal invasion of a sovereign nation, TORTURE, secret prisons, using the DOJ for political purposes, corruption of the voting process, etc.

Now if you could only prove Jeff Gannon’s relationship with bush and /or cheney, then you’d have something the media might be interested in.

PS: I am an impeachment nut too.

GDP, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3751172

OP by KitchenWitch:

      The Nightly GD Don't You Dare Bash MY Candidate thread - Black Friday Edition
:hi:

response #2 by SharkSquid:

      I hear Kucinich once went on a Magical quest
for some lucky charms, but those kids kept trying to get em first.

response #3 by Ken Burch:

      Joe Biden's hair transplant comes from the lanugo hairs of unborn lemurs
just sayin'.

response #5 by Old Crusoe:

      The grocery clerk mentioned that very thing to me this morning. Although for
most of the afternoon I was worried about Mike Gravel's syphilitic dementia.

response #19 by Ken Burch:

      Gravel got that from a one night stand with Randolph Churchill in 1894
(Gravel really IS that old, trust me...)

response #22 by Old Crusoe:

      Granted, he's every bit the incorrigible stud now that he was in 1894.
"Reconstruct THIS!" was one of his battle cries on those lost weekends...

response #4 by The Straight Story:

      I hear Hillary was hanging out with Obama and wearing a blue dress while obama was smoking
:)

GD, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2336892

On a thread by TalkingDog:

      One less thing to buy: Menstrual Pads. Oh Noes!!! It's Menstruation Talk......Run Away!!!!

response #41 by Magic Rat:

      so....uh.....how 'bout them Patriots?
:hide:

response #79 by SheWhoMustBeObeyed:

      I don't think I could wear plaid that close to my privates
I think women should be given five paid days off from work each month so we can sit bare-assed on the ground and let our essence flow into mother earth. (I read that as a menses ritual somewhere, along with soaking homemade pads in water and using it to water your garden. Like Dave Foley, I have a good attitude toward menstruation but c'mon.)

response #149 by Heidi:

      Plaid next to one's privates is
so very "white shoes after Labor Day." :rofl: :spray:

response #158 by Enrique:

      mods please move this
to the feminine hygiene forum. :-)

GD, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2335135

Which led to this:

OP by Book Lover:

      If it's this easy to terrify liberal men with talk of periods
why aren't we in the army, waving our pads and tampons at the enemy?!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2335135 (link to thread above)

response #1 by lwfern:

      I thought I threatened to do that once.
Back when that crazy legislator guy (in Maryland? Virginia?) was trying to define all eggs that don't implant as human life and wanting to do death certificates for them as miscarriages, I thought I wrote a letter to him about sending him all my used tampons for inspection, because really I wouldn't know if there was an egg there or not ... maybe he could have a crime lab check them out for me to be safe.

But now that I'm looking through my old letter file, I don't see it. :(

I do have an old letter to Ashcroft about my breasts, though. Me and Ashcroft, we were like penpals back in the day, except for the part where he never wrote back.

Jul 25 '04

Dear Mr. Ashcroft,

Last week I received my mammogram results from my doctor, and I thought of you. I’ve heard about suspected terrorists Ms. McGarry and Colleen Carboy, who attempted to bring a suspicious substance that they referred to as “breast milk” on board an airplane. I am thankful that security screeners were on their toes in both cases, and made the women sample the liquid before boarding, to assure our safety.

My mammogram came back negative, but it made me stop and think. If a woman can smuggle weapons of mass destruction in her breast milk after it’s been expressed, what’s to keep her from smuggling them in her milk while it’s still in her breast? I know that I would feel more secure if your office could screen all mammogram records, and check for suspicious lumps. Perhaps women who have these lumps could be added to your no-fly lists. And women who don’t have a mammogram on file with your office could be pulled aside for a breast-exam by one of your screeners. You will probably get a few liberals protesting this, but be assured they are out of touch with mainstream America. The majority of women welcome the government into our private lives, if that’s the cost of freedom.

Proud to serve as your eyes and ears (and breasts!).

Feminists Group, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=341x11815

On a thread by babylonsister:

Glenn Beck: Poor people are ‘lazy.’
"In his new book, An Inconvenient Book, right-wing CNN host Glenn Beck argues that 'poor people are, in fact, lazy' and supposedly goes 'paragraph for paragraph with global-warming alarmist Al Gore, merrily slaughtering the sacred cows of the environmentalist crowd...'"

response #7 by baldguy:

This from a guy who works five hours a week.

And see below for some Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

GD, November 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2340588

On a thread by Danieljay:

      The Bush pResidential Library - (My parents sent this to me)

response #9 by 11 Bravo:

      The Harriet Miers Room
You just know it will be the bestest, most awesomest, swellest room ever!

response #16 by ForeignSpectator:

      Great selection, we should (try to) extend it here...
The Scooter Libby Room - Where they commute your parking tickets...

And see below for some Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

GD, November 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2339109

On a thread by Quixote1818:

      I think Robertson hurt himself by endorsing Rudy

response #3 by MuseRider:

      It will be very interesting.
I am watching to see what will happen when they discover they have been used in the name of the lord. How can you justify begging for hard earned money based on your commitment to certain laws found in the bible and then endorse someone who does not or has not even come close to supporting those laws? Well maybe just this once? Nah, once people have been riled up with hate for certain people or certain policies or procedures and they have been given what they think are credible reasons they are not so easily changed, or are they? I am really interested to see what happens. This should doom our particular evangelical leaders for a good long while. New crop will be coming right up.

response #4 by Quixote1818:

      "New crop will be coming right up"
Isn't that the truth! They are like flu viruses. Once one dies off then another one is born.

GD, November 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2339099

On a thread by The Backlash Cometh:

Who understands quantum theory? Can you explain this article to me?
"... the theory suggests that we change things simply by looking at them and theorists have puzzled over the implications for years.

They often illustrate their concerns about what the theory means with mind-boggling experiments, notably Schrodinger's cat in which, thanks to a fancy experimental set up, the moggy is both alive and dead until someone decides to look, when it either carries on living, or dies. That is, by one interpretation (by another, the universe splits into two, one with a live cat and one with a dead one.)

New Scientist reports a worrying new variant as the cosmologists claim that astronomers may have accidentally nudged the universe closer to its death by observing dark energy, a mysterious anti gravity force which is thought to be speeding up the expansion of the cosmos..."

response #7 by scarletwoman:

...and that's why we can never have nice things.

GD, November 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2338485

On a ______ by _____:

      All-Purpose Hillary Clinton Post Template™
Hillary Clinton __ ___ ___ ___ _____ ___ ____ _ viable candidate for the GE. I know many people ___ ______ _________, both in real-life and here in cyberspace. Compared to ___ _____ __________, her position on ____ __ ___ ______ __ characterized by __ _____ ____ __ ___________ __ ____ _ stand. Why some people on DU cannot see this, I'll never know.

Her tenure as First Lady ___ ___ ____ ____ __ preparation for being president, a president of all Americans, _______ __ ____ ___ tough decisions and clean up ______ W. ____'s mess. She's ____________ ___ judgment ___ toughness ________ __ ____ America ____ a new era of _____________ ___________ __ _____ ____ the threat of terrorism and the _________ __ catastrophic climate change. She has __________, and a track ______ __ ______ __ the vast right-wing __________. No-one ____ __ ___ _____ _____ close, IMHO.

She's ____ ____, and a pantsuit _____ ________ the fact that ___ ____ __ __ ____ __ a flattened armadillo on Georgia asphalt in August. As to ___ _____, it's enough to ____ sane people right ____ ___ ____, and of course that _____ is as _______ __ a backhoe dragging across a _____ full of ____. ___'s ____ _ corporate ____, and her enthusiastic support ___ _ _____ __ ___ policies will ______ ____ this country _________ to ______ ___ drain. Do you really ______ ___ __ ______ the status quo when her _______ - the most __________ Republican _________ in modern _____ - __ cozying __ __ _____ ____? Dream on. Jealousy? _____, I'm ___ _______. Misogyny __ ____ _ ________ __________, but is hardly worth ______ _________.

Unlike some candidates, Senator Clinton __ ___ ______ __ ____ __ _________ interests. She's your ____ if ___ ____ _ candidate who will _____ ___ ___________ families. She will _____ ___ glass _______ of the Oval Office, proving ____ ___ ___ ___ that strong _____ no longer have __ ____ _ backseat __ ______ ___. She's the ___________ for a reason, you know. Her opponents are ____. Again, I'm just being realistic.

If ___ ____ ____ _ litmus ____ of ______ is better, be prepared __ _____ _ __________ ____ Romney ___ ___ ____ _____ _____. Is that what you want?

Unlike the supporters of ___ _____ __________, I ______ __ _____ ___________ her opponents. Having said that, I should ___ ____ Kucinich is a ______ ___, Biden __ _ _____, Dodd __ _ ____, Richardson __ _ ____, Gravel is a _______, Edwards and Obama are plainly ________. ___ bestrides the Potomac like a ________, _____ her opponents ___ ______ ____ ________ ____ _____ _____ ___ ___, desperate ___ ___ _______.

Some may say _ _____ ____ ____ ___ _______ about. Petty ___________ abound here, and there are some who ___ ______ ____ ____ ______. You should consider _____ ____ __ ____ ________ or whatever rock ___ _______ ___ ____ _____.

_____ away.

response #10 by jgraz:

      ______ ___ ______ _____
____ _____ ___ _____ Hillary ______, ___ _____ ___ ___. ______ Hillary __ ___ _____ _________ __ ______, ______ __ ______ __. Hillary _____________ ___________ __ _____ ____.

(That's the only thing I can post on Hillary that won't get me flamed.)

response #20 by orleans:

      thanks. can you post the "key" to this? i'm curious as to how i will
fill in those blanks depending on if i am pro or anti hill.

let's see...i'll take the 4th paragraph:

Unlike some candidates, Senator Clinton eats chicken faster than bush spends political interests. She's your mom if you're sad. No candidate who will cook chicken has families. She will use her glass eye of the Oval Office, proving her eye doesn't look that strong and no longer have chicken bones in backseat garbage bag devices. She's the cook for a reason, you know. Her opponents are hungry. Again, I'm just being realistic. If she says any litmus soup of chicken is better, be prepared to have chicken dinner with Romney because he'll eat only burgers. Is that what you want?

response #22 by Kurovski:

      Hillary is my girl.
She's all that, and a pantsuit of chips.

response #24 by Perry Logan:

      If it will encourage the Hillary-bashers to use sentences, I'm all for it.

response #30 by Buzz Clik:

      Let me give this a shot:
Hillary Clinton LAST WEEK MURDERED THE LAST viable candidate for the GE.

I know many people WHO VOTED FOR JEFFERSON DAVIS, both in real-life and here in cyberspace. Compared to ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, her position on EUTHANIZING SMALL ANIMALS IS characterized by AMERICAN BANDstand. Why some people on DU cannot see this, I'll never know.

Her tenure as First Lady WAS A DRUG-INDUCED HAZE, NOT preparation for being president, a president of all Americans, CREATING tough decisions and clean up HENRY W. LONGFELLOW's mess. She's REPLACED judgment WITH PSEUD0-toughness WHILE ELEVATING America BEYOND a new era of VEGETARIANISM, THUS NEUTRALIZING the threat of terrorism and THE GORE-INDUCED catastrophic climate change. She has A GREAT RACK, and a track RECORD THAT INCLUDED INVENTING the vast right-wing CONSPIRACY. No-one WANTS TO HOLD HER close, IMHO.

She's JUMP-SUIT JUNKIE, and a pantsuit PANSY, AND the fact that GOVERNOR HUCKABEE flattened AN armadillo on Georgia asphalt in August MEANS NOTHING. As to HER HUSBAND BILL, it's enough to BORE sane people right INTO SLEEP, and of course that HUSSIE MONICA is as SHRILL AS a backhoe dragging across a SWIMMING POOL full of BOBCATS. HILLARY's APPLYING FOR A corporate CREDIT CARD, and her enthusiastic support OF TERM LIFE INSURANCE policies will HAVE NO IMPACT ON this country to CLEAR THE HAIRBALL OUT OF THE drain. Do you really WANT TO MAINTAIN the status quo when her CAT - the most ANTI Republican FELINE in modern ART WORLD - WAS cozying UP TO A GUINEA PIG? Dream on. Jealousy? BULLSHIT, I'm SIMPLY AN ATTENTION WHORE. Misogyny IS A WAY OF LIFE FOR MOST PEOPLE, but is hardly worth CASTRATING THE CAT OVER.

Unlike some candidates, Senator Clinton HAS VERY FEW HOBBIES AND OUTSIDE interests. She's your BASIC HOMEBODY; SHE IS PERFECT if YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A candidate who will BRING BACK BOARD GAMES TO NUCLEAR families. She will BREAK THE glass CEILING of the Oval Office, proving ONCE AND FOR ALL TIME that strong ODORS no longer have TO REMAIN IN THE backseat OF 1970S BUICK AND OLDMOBILES. She's the ANTITHESIS TO reason, you know. Her opponents are BASICALLY OLD WHITE MEN WITH A COUPLE OF TOKEN MINORITIES AND A SILLY LITTLE MAN WHO BELIEVES IN MARTIANS. Again, I'm just being realistic. If YOU'RE TESTING LEMON JUICE WITH litmus BUT THINK A TITRATION TO A PHENOLPHTHALEIN END POINT is better, be prepared BECAUSE MITT Romney IS ONE HELLUVA WET CHEMIST. Is that what you want?

Unlike the supporters of GERMAN FUTBAL, I RESEMBLE her opponents. Having said that, I should COMPARE A GARDEN GNOME TO Kucinich, WHICH RHYMES WITH SPINACH, Biden IS A RIDIN', Dodd IS A CLOD, Richardson A BITCH-ARDSON, Gravel is a NO FAN OF RAVEL, Edwards and Obama are plainly DEADWARDS AND YO' MAMA. THE KEY BRIDGE bestrides the Potomac like a FILTHY OLD WHORE, AND UNLIKE her opponents HILLARY IS LOOKING BACKWARDS, desperate AND HUNGRY.

Some may say WE NEED TO PUT OUR LEFT FOOT IN, OUR LEFT FOOT OUT, AND SHAKE IT ALL about. Petty (TOM) IS UNLIKELY TO abound here, and there are some who THINK THAT'S A GOOD THING. You should consider BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN OR DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE or whatever rock STYLE APPEALS TO YOU.

FLUSHED away -- THE BEST MOUSE MOVIE OF OUR GENERATION.

response #32 by progressoid:

      The OP is ___________ ____
I haven't ever read so ____ _____ _____ from a single post. I think you really ____ _____ _____ this time.

__, November __, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2341497

OP by SalmonChantedEvening:

Because you can never mock him enough...
Something’s Wrong With Him
(To the tune of Take The Long Way Home – Supertramp)

Take a deep breath and count to 10
Cuz he’s rubbing bald heads again
Something’s wrong with him
Something’s wrong with him

Playing dress-up for photo ops
Smoke and mirrors the bumper crops
Something’s wrong with him
Something’s wrong with him

There are times when he speaks up there at the podium
Oh the Immodium, is wearing off, ewww
Verbal pratfalls become a part of the tedium
Oh, can he be that dumb, no need to ask that twice

The only time that he heeds advice
Is after his third Jim Beam and ice
Something’s wrong with him
Something’s wrong with him

Hasta have his own way you see
Compromise is an allergy
Something’s wrong with him
Something’s wrong with him

With the world as his stage it’s so unmistakable
Inescapable, how they abhor him
Spends his life getting rich from inhumanity
Oh the planet he’ll, surely see wiped out

Doesn’t know that a comma’s not an apostrophe
Thinks an endoscopy, is a sex toy
When you look in his ear you can see out the other side
Yea, mental Slip n’ Slide
Let’s give him no more time

Would he please put the saddle down
Before the horse scares his pampers brown
Something’s wrong with him
Something’s wrong with him

Wrong with him,
Wrong with him,
Wrong with him....

response #17 by Kucinich4America:

And if you put a band together to perform this parody song, it would be called....
...Superchimp. :evilgrin:

GD, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2344561

On a thread by FitzmasAgain:

      What's the weirdest thing you were thankful for?

response #1 by Benhurst:

      Barbara Bush can't have any more children.

response #5 by MrSlayer:

      That possums do not explode when the temperature reaches 95 degrees.
That crayons are non-toxic. And that housecats do not stand 10 feet tall at the shoulder.

response #7 by shadowknows69:

      That crazy Uncle Bob didn't try to "dance" with the turkey again.

response #13 by notadmblnd:

      I'm thankful that my mother didn't pull her pants down
and show her ass to someone this Thanksgiving.

response #17 by Sam_Smith:

      My third nipple.

GD, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2344925

On a thread by Bright Eyes:

Fred Thompson Attacks Fox News For Bias!
"After Fox aired clips of Fred Barnes and Charles Krauthammer attacking Thompson’s candidacy, Thompson responded, 'This has been a constant mantra of Fox, to tell you the truth.' Thompson told host Chris Wallace that he has the right to 'put in the Fox side, and I have the right to respond to it...'"

response #7 by Kurovski:

It's Freds own fault.
He should have saved the universe like Rudy did on 9/11.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2343286

On a thread by Jackpine Radical:

Lots of DUers expect looming economic disaster. Let's pool our survival thinking.
What are you doing, or what do you intend to do, or what would you recommend, to get through the coming Bad Time as comfortably as possible?

response #19 by Tuesday Afternoon:

Good woman with land in search of man with plow and mule --
please post pic of plow and mule. Thanks :D

GD, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2343311

On a thread by Lord Wortherington:

      What has TV taught you?

response #2 by Whoa_Nelly:

      Have learned that my daddy ain't Buffalo Bob
Even though I was convinced he was sneaking out on Saturday mornings to just go do the Howdy Doody Show

Turns out he was more likely going out to play poker or to "mess around".

response #4 by philboy:

      That sexual intercourse is the tool of the devil. n/t

response #12 by deucemagnet:

      TV has taught me that a blow to the head causes amnesia,
and hilarity ensues. A second blow to the head cures amnesia.

response #13 by Recovered Repug:

      Everyone has either an evil twin or a twin cousin.

response #14 by Richardo:

      If I can't solve a problem in 22 minutes, it must be a two-parter

response #24 by JBoy:

      The best time to leave a bar is right after ordering a drink
and then leave whoever you're with to pay the bill.

Also, when I eat at a restaurant with 3 other people we should all be sitting on one side of the table.

response #39 by shugah:

      robots will subjugate humankind
under any conceivable or inconceivable scenario.

:scared:

The Lounge, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7169695

On a thread by rodeodance:

      Bush to revive push for peace, not stage 'photo-op'
"US President George W. Bush will launch what is touted as the first substantive push for Israeli-Palestinian peace in seven years when he opens an international conference near here Tuesday..."

response #19 by gratuitous:

      How can you say Bush isn't serious?
The conference is scheduled to last nearly half a day! Surely you're not saying that our MBA President can't solve the Middle East in four hours? Have you forgotten the economic summit in Waco, when Bush devoted parts of nearly an entire day to fixing the economy, and look how well that worked out!

Why do you all hate America so much?

response #20 by regnaD kciN:

      In the words of Noah: "Riiiiiiight!"...
Note the phrasing: "the first substantive push for Israeli-Palestinian peace in seven years" -- in other words, since Bush became president.

Kind of a bit late for doing something about the biggest stress-point in world relations, isn't it? Imagine what might have happened if Commander Crotchsock had shown that determination from day one in office.

response #21 by LiberalFighter:

      When will he find time? Between naps? Between reading his coloring book?

response #23 by balantz:

      "Heh heh heh"
"You don't think I have the power to take a break from nappy time? Well I'm here to tell you I do, b'cause I'm the decider! And I'm decidin' it's time to make it look like I'm pay attention to this issue!"

response #24 by AzDar:

      So...who gets the unsolicited neck massage, Abbas or Olmert?
:rofl:

response #26 by aquart:

      Oh, dear god. Did they find oil in Jerusalem?

response #58 by sutz12:

      How about this?
We get Israel to drop the height of the wall by two feet, then we get them to put up a plaque naming it after Dubya.

Ship off a couple of pallets of $100 bills to each side and pat them on the back a bit.

Legacy in spades. :sarcasm:

LBN, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3076860

On a thread by 1932:

If everyone stopped shopping...
...I think there's be such a tremendous leap forward with innovative, useful, life-improving products in order to get people shopping again.

Discuss.

response #7 by gatorboy:

An innovative, useful, life-improving X-Box?
Sign me up!

GD, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2346312

On a thread by Stephanie:

      Neocon POS Richard Perle Discusses His Dinner Parties --->>>
"Mr. Perle, the neoconservative and former adviser to Donald Rumsfeld, offered to walk through his local Costco, pointing out the products that he said were increasingly drawing D.C. power shoppers like himself.

That Richard Perle? The gourmand with a home in Provence who once dreamed of opening a chain of soufflé restaurants?

Yes, Mr. Perle proudly shops in Costco’s concrete warehouses stocked with three-pound jars of peeled garlic and jumbo packs of toilet paper. And he has no problem serving the store’s offerings to dinner guests..."

response #3 by whistle:

      Is Richard Perle on a carbon monoxide respirator? He just always looks so
...oxygen deprived

response #9 by Stephanie:

      It tells us that all is forgiven inside the Beltway Circle Jerk.
You lead our dimwitted leaders into a war based on lies, you cheerlead us through it promising flowers and candy, you were completely wrong and thousands died, BUT where did you get a discount on the foie gras? Fabulous!

GD, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2345639

On a thread by Wiregrass Willie:

Carville-Matalin dog and pony show on Meet the Press

response #15 by L0oniX:

I think they make a wonderful couple of asscarrots

GD, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2342718

On a thread by sandrakae:

      If Cheney needs a new heart, how soon will he go to the top of the list?

response #2 by peace frog:

      Can you say...
"Quicker than shit through a goose"? I knew that you could.

response #5 by ocelot:

      List? What list?
He'll just have some poor slob killed.

response #6 by rurallib:

      Maybe they could take him to a hunting ranch
give him a 30 second head start and ......
No I mean I hope he survives! - the thought of junior in charge all by himself is really scary. Venezuela here we come.

GDP, November 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3759761

OP by WilliamPitt:

      Your candidate totally sucks.
Discuss.

;)

response #1 by tridim:

      "Duran Duran is neither a Duran nor a Duran."
Discuss.

response #10 by Kucinich4America:

      And furthermore, none of the Taylors are related either.
Don't ask me how I know that, as I haven't given a crap about Duran Duran since Andy & John left the band the first time.

response #7 by spanone:

      How can Susan B. Anthony?

response #13 by youthere:

      Perhaps...but he doesn't swallow.

response #14 by Tierra_y_Libertad:

      It's difficult to suck while talking,but candidates manage to do both...to excess.

response #19 by TahitiNut:

      Yeah ... well, it's when they BITE at the same time that they show true sociopathic talent.
:shrug:

response #15 by CT_Progressive:

      My candidate does not totally suck.

response #20 by AlertLurker:

      Don't be such a "Hater."

response #23 by ocelot:

      Your candidate can suck a basketball through a garden hose
and on a really good day, he/she can suck-start a B-52.

response #25 by lionesspriyanka:

      i suspect she does.

GD, November 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2348987

OP by Kablooie:

      Do you realize that if Cheney's heart problems disable him ...
,,, by the order of succession, George W. Bush becomes president.

response #7 by AndyTiedye:

      Cheney Will Be Fine as Long as He Doesn't Fall on a Wooden Stake or Something

response #9 by 4nic8em:

      Aw gee...
I hope Vice President Cheney is alright....when's the funeral?

GDP, November 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3760715

On a thread by ashling:

I'm forever blowing bubbles

response #3 by Ghost in the Machine:

oh..... I thought this was a Michael Jackson thread...
nevermind.....

The Lounge, November 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7173534

On a thread by bigdarryl:

Whats up with the increase in Obama bashing

response #3 by Patsy Stone:

Obama bashing is held on Mondays
Hillary bashing is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Please refer to the syllabus and do try and keep up with the class schedule.

GDP, November 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3760092

On a thread by mtnsnake:

What would you say is 1 weak spot of each candidate in terms of their quirky mannerisms?

response #5 by LoZoccolo:

I think the quirky thing about Kucinich is his tendency...
...to see giant triangular objects floating in the sky over Shirley MacLaine's house.

GDP, November 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3761103

On a thread by kurth:

      Older white women join Kenya's sex tourists
"Bethan, 56, lives in southern England on the same street as best friend Allie, 64.

They are on their first holiday to Kenya, a country they say is 'just full of big young boys who like us older girls.'

Hard figures are difficult to come by, but local people on the coast estimate that as many as one in five single women visiting from rich countries are in search of sex..."

response #2 by TahitiNut:

      "Hard figures are difficult to come by"?????
Tell me Jeremy Clarke didn't have a smirk on his face when he wrote that.

response #6 by scarletwoman:

      I can't help but suspect that those figures were inflated. One wonders if he came by them honestly.
:P

response #4 by Chovexani:

      Oh for fuck's sake
Earth to the West: the brown people of planet Earth are not the damn Olive Garden, plzkthx.

response #57 by leftofthedial:

      well, some European women get
up to 10 inches of paid vacation

GD, November 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2352449

OP by MonkeyFunk:

      oh for fuck's sake, I'm voting for Winnie-the-Pooh for Prez
I started a thread in GD-P - praising a candidate who is NOT my candidate, and then get accused of pulling some sort of double-reacharound-backhand-secret-assfuck trick.

Go Winnie!!!

response #2 by YankeyMCC:

      He's a tool of the Honey Lobby nt

response #3 by tjwmason:

      He's constitutionally disqualified.
He is British, and was born (one would assume) in the Hundred Acre Wood.

But he'd make a damn fine president, that's for sure.

response #16 by MonkeyFunk:

      Pooh was actually born
in Camden, NJ. He moved to the Hundred Acre Wood as a wee cub.

response #12 by LynneSin:

      If Pooh gets enough votes in the primary he's gonna go 3rd Party
and have Ron Paul as his running mate.

Why in gods name do you want to fuck up your country like that - just enjoy your double-reacharound-backhand-secret-assfuck trick like the rest of us have to!

response #31 by racaulk:

      Piglet is too short to be elected President.
:hide:

The Lounge, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7175434

OP by DFW:

Startling results of latest poll!! Fabulous news!!
Hillary, Obama, and Edwards both beat all the major Republican candidates,
AND lose to them by a 20%-25% margin according to the latest DFW poll, which
is at least as reliable as half the ones cited here.

Cheerleading for those of the results that you wish to believe may start as of now.

GDP, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3761797

On a poll by BuyingThyme:

Do you approve or disapprove of the way Congress is doing its job?

response #8 by Perry Logan:

You should hear what they say about DU.

GD, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2355672

OP by Botany:

      Sad Fact about DU
Some people just post and read DU for fun.

response #1 by Bornaginhooligan:

      That's the same reason I hunt deer, have abortions.
:shrug:

response #26 by citizen_jane:

      DU is the only website
the asylum's computer
will let me go to.
:crazy:

The Lounge (moved from GD), November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7178496

OP by Jackpine Radical:

      How to decode Republican messages:
It's simple. Just cancel the negations.

Examples:

"I am not a crook" = "I am a crook."

"Trent's departure had nothing to do with a scandal" = "Trent's departure had to do with a scandal"

response #2 by BOSSHOG:

      george bush served proudly in the military
Hey, this works great

response #4 by tjwash:

      I am not gay!
Hey...it works!

response #6 by KansDem:

      Let me try it!
*ahem*

"George W. Bush will get Osama bin Laden!"

...WOW!!! Is this thing psychic, or what?!

GD, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2357613

On a thread by ourbluenation:

      hunting is like abortion - if ya believe it's wrong dont do it, but dont tell me what to do. n/t

response #1 by Bornaginhooligan:

      venison tastes better.
:hide:

response #27 by IanDB1:

      I still draw the line at using pitbulls to hunt deer fetuses while smoking near your children. n/t

response #37 by SidDithers:

      As long as you're prayerful...
feel free to hunt and abort as much as you like.

response #42 by BuyingThyme:

      It's all coming down to prayerfulness versus truthiness, isn't it?
It's gonna be a hell of a year.

response #59 by chimpsrsmarter:

      Don't tell me not to tell you what to do!
:o

alright, off to the drive through hunting/abortion clinic range.

GD, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2356908

OP by Armstead:

      Breaking News: Hillary Clinton's secret pact with Satan Exposed
Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. :evilgrin:

response #3 by cuke:

      And what exactly is wrong with being in league with the Devil?
After all, we do have a Big Tent. Besides, I heard he is pro gay marriage

response #30 by Jim Lane:

      If that were true I might reconsider my opposition to Hillary (n/t)

response #33 by sniffa:

      her name is Barbera Streisand, thank you

GDP, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3762354

On a thread by PSPS:

HA HA "Certified Christian!"
I've not seen that one before. (An ad on DU)

response #1 by Jackpine Radical:

Shouldn't surprise you.
God knows enough of them are certifiable.

GD, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2360164

Poll question by Buzz Clik:

      Are garden gnomes the definitive, underrepresented minority?

:bluebox: Yes.

:bluebox: No.

:bluebox: Hey! Is this a push poll for Dennis Kucinich?

:bluebox: Hey! Is this some sort of insult to Dennis Kucinich?

response #2 by dmallind:

      There are as many garden gnomes in Congress as atheists
And the garden gnome didn't have to win seventeen times in a safe district before he could admit it ;)

response #3 by quantessd:

      Thousands of garden gnomes are abducted every year.
And the news routinely ignores these missing-gnomes cases.

response #4 by yellowcanine:

      Someone needs to ask Mitt Romney if there will be a garden gnome in his cabinet.
Or at least some lower level position such as elevator operator in the West Wing.

response #6 by BOSSHOG:

      Our house is surrounded (protected) by gnomes
My wife has them in the landscaping, around the trees and on the patio. They do a fine job, whatever job it is that they do.

response #9 by yardwork:

      Are you exploiting those gnomes?
Are your gnomes in this nation legally, and are you paying social security for them?

response #11 by BOSSHOG:

      I plead the fifth
I don't know where they came from. We just got up one day and there they were.

response #15 by yardwork:

      Your nomination as Attorney General is in serious jeopardy, but only if you're a Democrat.

response #22 by BOSSHOG:

      Actually, I can't recall any gnomes on our property ever

At press time, "Yes." was winning with 56% of the votes.

GD, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2356450

On a thread by Toots:

      What would prompt Tom Brokaw to say this upcoming election is probably
the "most important election of this country's history"?

response #2 by MrCoffee:

      why on earth would Brokaw resort to gross hyperbole?
i can't imagine a single reason a newscaster would do such a thing.

response #6 by Red Zelda:

      Translation: You MUST watch TV
this is more important than the blue scab on your head. Watch! Buy! Shop!
The Sphinx of the Greatest Generation has said so.
Lordy where's my Amex!!!!!

response #15 by sfexpat2000:

      Too cheap to buy new material? n/t

GD, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2356639

On a thread by kpete:

      WTF?!?-Bush Doesn’t Resent Gore for Election 2000-"President is willing to let bygones be bygones"
"Mr. Bush’s press secretary, Dana Perino, told reporters the president is 'willing to let bygones be bygones.'

'This president does not harbor any resentments,' she said. 'He never has...'"

response #4 by SoCalDem:

      Like the hit and run driver that holds no hard feelings for the guy
who broke his headlight :grr:

response #24 by Benhurst:

      Yeah, and Charles Manson has forgiven Sharon Tate.

response #59 by herbster:

      I wonder if Junior's handlers told Gore to apologize?
"When you meet with the President, he expects you to compliment him and allow him to rub your head and kiss you if he wishes. It is also expected that you apologize to the President for your actions in the 2000 elections. And remember that you are only allowed to refer to the President as Mr. President."

GD, November 27, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2358259

Poll question by tekisui:

      Will you take your time to answer this poll?

:bluebox: Yes, I will.

:bluebox: No, I won't.

response #1 by dicksteele:

      Where's the "other" option? nm

response #2 by Jackpine Radical:

      No way. Not gonna do it.
Almost nobody else is gonna do it either. I was the 11th No vote.

response #3 by gateley:

      I just love being given options so I partake whenever there's an opportunity! Thanks! nt

response #7 by Kentish Man:

      No.
I didn't even open this post or reply to it.

At press time, "No, I won't." was winning with 63% of the votes.

GD, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2360254

On a thread by underpants:

      How do you have sex with a Danish?
"Passengers at a Danish train station just south of Copenhagen were left to shiver with cold as a 30-something pair had sex in the waiting room, the Courier Mail reports.

'We don't know if it's due to the glacial weather this morning or to unbridled passion, but a couple did not hesitate in having sexual relations in a waiting room at the Koge train station,' police spokesman Carsten Andersen said.

The two were not charged with indecency as the act was performed with clothes on, police said..."

response #1 by Beetwasher:

      Danish? I Thought That's What Donuts Were For
:shrug:

response #4 by MonkeyFunk:

      Here's how:
Step 1: remove Danish from bag
Step 2: fuck it

I like raspberry.

response #14 by krispos42:

      They should have held up signs..
6.7, 7.2, 8.3, etc.

or offered advice...

"Hold her leg up higher! Higher! No, the other one! THE OTHER ONE!!! And go easy on the nipple! It's not a radio knob!"

:evilgrin:

response #22 by Peake:

      And here I was really looking forward to learning something new.

Much more.

The Lounge, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7176556

On a thread by AlphaCentauri:

Sex with Americans risky for Mexican hookers
"Female prostitutes in Tijuana and Ciudad Juarez who catered to American 'johns' had a 50 percent higher rate of syphilis or another sexually transmitted disease than those who didn't, according to a UCSD study..."

response #5 by Teaser:

Where does the buy American crowd stand on this?

LBN, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3081244

On a thread by Horse with no Name:

Help needed scholars
What is the legal term used when a law is made for one person/group?

response #1 by warren pease:

Campaign financing? n/t

GD, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2367931

OP by BlueJazz:

I was interviewed outside the Republican Debate place today.. BUT.. LOL!
I doubt VERY seriously if the station (Channel 8 ??) is going to air it on the 6 o'clock News.

Woman with Mic: Hello Sir..Are you going to attend the Debate tonight?
Me: Well, No..I'm just downtown shopping.
Woman: Are you excited about having the Debate in your Town?
Me: I'm sure that the Republicans inside will be just as Exciting as Mr. Bush's speeches.
Woman: Oh..Are you a Republican supporter?
Me: ...slight pause.. No, My parents didn't raise an Idiot or a Fool.
Woman:..Ahh...(then walked away.)

Oh...Well ..I blew my big Chance!

:rofl:

GD, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2364420

On a thread by skipos:

      The freepers are discussing who they would vote for
Lots of Thompson and Hunter, a decent number of Romney, very few McCain. There are a couple hundred posts and I don't know if I saw one person pick Huckabee.

Is that a sign of anything?

response #2 by dicksteele:

      Sheep tend to mill around randomly until their owner's dog barks the order to "line up".
Whatever BLEATING NOISES they make as they mill around
are relevant only to the next sheep, and are superseded
the moment the barking starts.

response #6 by yardwork:

      They can't begin to spell Huckabee.
Name's too long.

GDP, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3769662

On a thread by Southpawkicker:

I Just Fell Off My Bed...
landed on my head

rolled a somersault

:wtf:

reaching to get my cell phone cord to charge it back up...

response #10 by faygokid:

Mr. President, it's a pleasure to have you posting here on DU.
Those parties in the '60s, '70s and '80s were bound to catch up with you, sir.

The Lounge, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7181602

On a thread by donsu:

CIA Venezuela Destabilization Memo Surfaces
"On November 26, 2007 the Venezuelan government broadcast and circulated a confidential memo from the US embassy to the CIA which is devastatingly revealing of US clandestine operations and which will influence the referendum this Sunday, December 2, 2007..."

response #36 by Tierra_y_Libertad:

Our CIA?? With their rich history of humanitarianism and love of democracy??
I'm shocked!

GD, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2362304

Some fun stuff in here. Read the thread and roll your own DUzies.

Countdown/Keith Olbermann Group, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=315x101438

OP title by cali:

Please join me in a big FUCK YOU to the Washington Post

GDP, November 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3770207

On a thread by Parche:

      Pat Robertson: Yogurt is 'evil'
Robertson was quoted on his 700 Club Show as saying it is from France, and we dont like
the French, and only atheistic liberals eat Yogurt......

response #6 by lwfern:

      I hate this.
I hate that I've lost the ability to tell if stories are true or satire.

response #8 by Journeyman:

      It comes as no surprise Robertson opposes culture. . .

GD, November 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2373171

On a thread by kpete:

Henry Hyde died at around 3 A.M. this morning.

response #19 by Cooley Hurd:

No shit...
That's too bad.

My sympathies to his family and his mistresses...

GD, November 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2369042

On a thread by mdmc:

Have you ever met a right wing deadhead (Grateful Dead fan)?

response #1 by whistle:

I didn't think drugs could do that to people

GD, November 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2374113

On a thread by commander bunnypants:

A really gross question regarding cats?
How do you express their anal glands or should I take her to the vet?

response #11 by DS1:

make it read GD for 20 minutes
then give it a cigarette and a cup of coffee

The Lounge, November 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7183969

On a thread by RamboLiberal:

Hagel: Bush administration is 'incompetent' and he would consider joining a Dem ticket

response #17 by struggle4progress:

Translation: "Gosh! We really effed-up our party! How about we eff-up yours?"

LBN, November 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3083164

On a thread by Dems Will Win:

      Judi Giuliani is WHACKO: Rudy must buy an extra plane seat just for her Louis Vitton HANDBAG!!

response #10 by Venus Dog:

      Anyone wanna place bets on how much longer this marriage lasts?
Now that Ghouli is circling the drain - Judy doesn't seem like the kinda girl that would stick around - she'll take the money and run soon, I'm betting. It's getting pretty dark in all that doo-doo and it ain't over yet. There'll be more to come I'm sure if he doesn't give it up already. There will be no peace for Giuli & Judy.

I wonder if they double-dated with Bernie and the other Judy? Wouldn't those stories be great :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :rofl: :rofl:

response #31 by mitchum:

      Exactly...JUDY will soon set her eye on a fella with better prospects

response #43 by hisownpetard:

      Which eye - the one that looks at you while you're talking, or the one that sort of
wanders around the room till it finds something interesting to snag on?

GD, November 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2376922

On a thread by fightindonkey:

What Are The Freepers Saying About Clinton Hostage?!

response #1 by DS1:

They're blaming you
and they just posted your home address

GD, November 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2379278

On a thread by Stephanie:

      Old Man Thompson Eats Moose Chili at Skip's Gun Shop ---pix--->>>

response #1 by Arkana

response #4 by Steve_DeShazer

response #14 by rasputin1952

response #21 by Lastlaughin08

response #29 by dicksteele

GD, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2336310

On a thread by babylonsister:

      Glenn Beck: Poor people are ‘lazy.’

response #6 by Tuesday Afternoon

response #22 by dicksteele

response #36 by jimshoes

response #41 by parasim

GD, November 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2340588

OP by tomeboy:

      Manhattan Inshrubordination

GD, November 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2338141

OP by cloudbase:

      A Short Story in Three Pictures

The Lounge, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7170734

On a thread by Bright Eyes:

      Fred Thompson Attacks Fox News For Bias!

response #6 by Prefer

GD, November 25, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2343286

On a thread by Danieljay:

      The Bush pResidential Library - (My parents sent this to me)

response #5 by troubleinwinter

response #6 by rug

response #12 by calipendence

GD, November 24, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2339109

OP by deminks:

      Twas the night before Annapolis, and all through the house (photos)

GD, November 26, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2351702

OP by Stephanie:

      WHO Spent Taxpayers' Money to Tryst with His Mistress? ---pix--->>>

response #7 by Stephanie

GD, November 28, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2367366

OP by BurtWorm:

      "Hey, Fred. You lure Giuliani out to the parking lot and I'll go get my baseball bat."

GD, November 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2372147

OP by TDubyaA:

      PICTURE!!!! Hillary Hostage Guy Arrested

GD, November 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2378628