Filed under: Competitive strategy, News Corp'B' (NWS)
News Corp (NYSE:NWS) today announced that it will revamp its Fox Business Network lineup in response to recent viewership reports showing that Americans would rather undergo a cavity search than watch the shows.
Drawing upon inspiration from its successful Fox Entertainment division, we hear that a number of new programs are under consideration:
Homer Nose Business -- a "Simpsons" take on making 'd'oh' in the food and beverage industries, with field reporters Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Jr. and Moe Szyslak.
24:00 Stocks -- Kiefer Sutherland hosts a new studio show in which CEOs of tanking corporations are subjected to waterboarding and other amusing non-torture interview techniques in order to extract crucial investor information.
American Idle --The 'idle rich' report by Paris Hilton, featuring the latest exposés directly from the wellspring of the trickle-down economy.
Prison Break-- Five-minute updates hosted by Andrew Fastow, Conrad Black and Lou Pearlman, live from their offices in U.S. Federal government facilities.
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? – Stock market gurus face off against 5th graders equipped with Magic 8 Balls. Losers must eat their losses, catsup optional.
The Street-- Heidi Fleiss goes undercover to gather the latest down and dirty insider information from Wall Street.
Malcolm in the Middle - The impact of the Forbes legacy, as reflected by accomplishments of the Bush era. Reported by Steve Forbes.
FOX NASDAQ Sunday -- with Jimmie Johnson, Terry Bradshaw and Jim Cramer-- a madcap hour of opinions, insults and penetrating analysis of why yesterday's market movements were inevitable and why their previous prognostications should be excused.
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our Big, Fat Stock Report --with Peter Griffin (Family Guy). Heh-heh-heh. Booger.
Link:
http://www.bloggingstocks.com/2008/01/04/heres-how-fox-business-network-can-get-viewers/