Want to read something truly frightening?

[Initech]

Read this. It's a list of comments made on fundie chat rooms that I found on another board that I post on. Among the highlights:

- One thinks atheists will burn Christians at the stake
- Another one denies the existence of gravity
- Another one says that gays should be taken to contamination centers and be forced to accept Jesus

Many more here:

http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_chat_rooms/

:yoiks:

[cdb]

1. Ah yes-- the willfully ignorant.

Why would you expect anything but horseshit?

[AzDar]

2. I need a shower and a Xanax.

[celestia671]

3. Yikes!

It's people like this who give Christianity a bad name!

This is pretty twisted:


This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god

if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state

Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like this

[A HERETIC I AM]

4. Holy shit! This is too funny: "If Atheists were the majority"

Of course, Numb Nuts here does not know how to spell "Atheist" which just adds to the funny.

Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?
The Prince of Pain, GameTalk <2007-Jan-01>
Submitted by Savrin


You know, I have been an Atheist for years and lived with an Agnostic for 3 years but we never had 2 gay men boffing in the back room.

I must be doing something wrong.

I'm surprised this person can even use a computer.

This one is a total gem too;

Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

Trinidad and Tobago, CARM <2007-Mar-01>


Someone needs to find this persons high school science teacher and have a talk with him.

[celestia671]

What gets me...

If they're so gung ho against science, then why are they using computers?

There are some really scary people on these boards!

[hootinholler]

15. Well, read on, that question is answered as well...

You are confusing TECHNOLOGY with SCIENCE.

Technology and science are often lumped together, but are totally separate and unrelated things.

Technology makes peoples lives easier. Technology is the product of inventive geniuses who were inspired by God. Inventions and innovations improve life.

Science causes confustion and makes things complicated. Everytime there is a new discovery the old discoveries and old wisdom are discarded! And theories get more and more complex. Science makes people confused and complicates things. Who is the author of confusion? Satan of course. The bible it the opposite of science. Biblical wisdom NEVER CHANGES, and anyone can get it. Scientific wisdom is always changing and contradicting itself, and really nobody gets it.

Please don't insult our intelligence by lumping science and technology together. They are as different at night and day.

I suspect that more than a few of these are satire. I wirh I knew which ones are SERIES.

-Hoot

[lapislzi]

25. "Confustion?"

I am hopeful that there might be something to the urban myth of spontaneous human confustion.

[Initech]

9. Here is my favorite:

Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Blue_Tires]

27. holyfuckingshit

"Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is."



I'm surprised this person remembers to breathe and knows how to use a keyboard...this could possibly be the most ignorant post in the history of the internets...save it for posterity!

[bpeale]

5. as an aetheist, sometimes i would like to burn christians at the stake

anything to just shut them up. all i want is a little peace. i am happy if they are happy with THEIR jesus person, but i don't want to hear about it. i daydream about burning them at the stake, but i would never actually do it. allow me to dream!

[Cheap_Trick]

19. go forth and dream

be like george orr and make it an effective dream (see Lathe of Heaven)

[fenriswolf]

6. i just love the blind ignorance

The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.

It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.


*wasnt the bible originally written in latin?

[PDJane]

8. actually, no..............

aramaic.

[A HERETIC I AM]

17. Every single book of the bible was not originally written in Aramaic.

Do you have a source for this claim?

[PDJane]

26. You are correct.

The old testament was written mostly in Hebrew and Aramaic, the New Testament mostly in Greek.

[fenriswolf]

11. i just want to make sure everyone realizes

that most republicans are not like this. Most are intelligent human beings who differ politically. Most are not like this freak.



god was sacrificing this child as a way to show others the light. much as he did his own child. what a beautiful gift he has given us

[Cowpunk]

7. You're actually frightened that these morons are our opponents in the culture war?

This one almost made me piss my pants:

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

EnemyPartyII, Christianforums.com <2007-Dec-02>

[Initech]

10. That one was seriously funny.

What scares me though are the ones that want to incite violence against people they dont agree with. That scares the shit out of me.

[Blue_Tires]

28. comedy goldmine!

someone please tell me this is some parody forum?

[Richard D]

12. At first I thought this was a joke . . .

. . . like it says "comedy" in the URL. Then I realized that the people who said this stuff believe it.

:banghead::cry::hide::rofl::wow:

[HCE SuiGeneris]

13. Is the "contamination" center where one goes to be contaminated by Fundyism?

[Richard D]

14. Damn,

They are still here:

"God revealed to me two things about the timing of the rapture. God specifically told me 2007 was the year, because I was only going to have from 3 to 3 1/2 years to spread the message after my book was published."

[Le Taz Hot]

16. I had one tell me that Jesus wrote the Bible . . .

in English. :wtf: You just can't make this shit up.

[Cheap_Trick]

18. jumpin jeezus on a pogo stick

it's like wallowing in the mud of the stupid, ignorant, and totally insane. i need a shower now. having king fundie nut job for president really brought these whackadoodles out of the woodwork. now if only they'd go back.

[hootinholler]

20. Best I can do is Jesus on a trailer hitch

Gotta get me a Jesus on a pogo stick, better yet would be an animated gif!

Anybody got a Jesus suit and a pogo stick? It would be viral in seconds. I can see it now:

From Jumpin Jeebus Productions...

-Hoot

[Cheap_Trick]

24. lmfao! nt

[Ilsa]

21. The woman claiming her son is sneaking a girlfriend into his bedroom who

is leaving dirty magazines of naked men under his bed is hysterical.Someone needs to draw her a picture.

[TheMadMonk]

22. Been waiting for an opportuntity to use this.

Explains a lot. Believe this. Believe anything.

Source. No idea. I got it at least third hand.

[2beToby]

23. I can't believe, for my sanity, that

most of this wasn't said in sarcasm... that's what I'm trying to convince myself. It's the extremes and all, but how could anyone be THAT uneducated?