Judge apologizes for telling woman with cancer to remove hat

[RamboLiberal]

A Benton County judge has apologized for telling a woman with cancer to take a knitted cap off her bald head or leave his courtroom.

"Words can't express how sorry I am," Judge Holly Hollenbeck told the Herald on Monday, a few hours after he spoke with Bev Williams by phone and offered an unconditional apology.

Williams, 43, said the District Court judge told her the no-hat rule would no longer apply in his courtroom, but that his apology had nothing to do with the criticism he had drawn for his comments to her on Friday.

Williams, who lost her hair after enduring six months of chemotherapy, was in court to give moral support to her teenage daughter, who was facing a misdemeanor charge. Hollenbeck insisted the Kennewick woman remove her hat or leave. Williams chose to leave, crying as she left the courtroom, which had 60 people in it.

Even after Hollenbeck was told later the reason for Williams' headgear, he refused to change his order.

http://www.tri-cityherald.com/tch/local/story/9572377p-9484820c.html

He sounds sincere now - but note he didn't change till the protests came pouring in.

[MrCoffee]

1. Judges take that stuff very seriously

sure he was an asshole about it, but he could have cited her for contempt of court.

[lapfog_1]

2. no, he ordered her to remove it or leave

she left... no contempt.

Even the most asshole of judges has to show that a court order (especially one from the bench to audience members) was ignored before citing for contempt.

Not saying it couldn't happen, but it would be very unusual.

[Contrary1]

3. Having been a bald female due to chemo...

I can relate. However, I would have pulled my hat off just to let the judge realize what an ass he was being right there in his own courtroom.

[tsuki]

21. Been bald for the same reason. All I can say is Thank God for

Sinead O'Conner. (The children in the carpool called me Skinhead O'Conner once. I threatened to sing. That shut them up.)

[Lucinda]

38. Yup. Me too...I would have whipped the hat off.

:)

[genie_weenie]

4. Well, that's what she gets for flouting the Judge's God Granted authority!

"Establishment, establishment, you always know what's best..."

"Learn the rules!"

[Flarney]

5. What a dumb-ass, meaningless tradition anyway (removal of hats)...

...can't we start weeding out some of this meaningless nonsense? Ok, so it's probably pretty low on the list of crap we need to change, but it should be on the list somewhere goddammit... :-)

[LanternWaste]

14. I disagree...

I disagree. I think it's a dumb-ass, meaningless tradition to wear hats-- especially inside. It's as silly as wearing a rain-coat in your bedroom. By all means, do it-- but it doesn't come off as any less silly.

Shaking hands? Pretty damn silly and meaningless too...

[Flarney]

18. Wearing a hat inside is still not as silly as caring whether or not someone else does...

...can you at least give me that? :-)

[yardwork]

33. Actually, women are allowed to wear their hats inside, according to etiquette.

If the judge requires that women remove their hats in his courtroom, he's flouting long-time rules of etiquette. Women are allowed to wear hats indoors - unless they are in their own homes. Men are not allowed to wear hats indoors.

The reason, I suppose, is that for many years women's hats were considered an essential part of their dress, and once the hat was arranged on their heads and integrated with their hairdos, it was too difficult to take it off every time they went inside a building.

[uppityperson]

49. I've worn a raincoat in my bedroom, or rather Mr.UP has. Had a good reason for it also.

:evilgrin:

[Kansas Wyatt]

6. But he sure felt powerful when she left crying.

And he still refused to apologize and change his order after he was told.

Judges deserve respect, but not at this expense.

Remove him, because he is obviously NOT a fair person.

[SoCalDem]

7. The bailiff should have been told why she had a hat on..and then notified the judge

Had he known before, he might not have done it..

[Kansas Wyatt]

10. The Judge was told after she left and refused to change his order...

Or apologize.

He only apologized later when people got pissed.

[Contrary1]

11. Maybe she did not know it was against the rules...

it would have been the bailiff's job to tell her.

[SoCalDem]

13. exactly.. and THEN the bailiff could have told the judge BEFORE

he gave her the choice to remove it or leave..

The judge enforced a rule without knowing WHY she wore the cap.. Had he known before,he might have not asked her to take it off.. He apologized..

She might have worn a wig, instead of a cap, had she known..

"Failure to Communicate"..(in a timely manner):(

[onenote]

8. reminds of something that happened while I was in law school

One of my professors was also a judge. One day he looked up and saw a student wearing a cap and demanded that he remove it, embarassing the student, who was African-American (the hat was actually an African skull cap).

Students went to the professor after class and objected to his treatment of their classmate. At the start of the next class, the professor announced that he had discussed the matter with his wife and had decided that he was being unreasonable. He said that he would no longer bar the wearing of hats in his class. He then added that this new rule would apply prospectively, beginning with the next semester....

True story.

[aquart]

12. African skull cap?

Which means what? Africans have to keep their heads covered in the sight of God?

[onenote]

16. Don't ask me. That's how the student described it.

[mnhtnbb]

9. If he's an elected judge, I'll be he finds himself without a court room next election.

Story says he IS elected.

Think he qualifies as a true ass-hat.

[northzax]

15. i don't understand

was there a medical reason she was wearing a hat? oh, it's that she was bald? so she was wearing the hat for cosmetic purposes, most likely, since she reacted to having to remove it not by taking it off and saying she was cold, but by running out. So why should the judge make exceptions for cosmetic reasons? that's the only reason ANYONE would wear a hat.

if you don't want people to know you are bald, which I can understand (Although I am not bald) wear a wig. how is this different from a man with male pattern baldness who wants to wear a hat to conceal that? they are both due to medical conditions through no fault of the person.

[peace13]

17. Real nice.

[northzax]

24. well gee

I have never been in a courtroom, and I have been in a few, that allowed people to wear hats. can you explain what's so hideous about a bald head that would require an exception here?

[LeftyMom]

28. People undergoing chemo often have a hard time thermoregulating

and can lose a great deal of heat through their heads.

When my grandmother was undergoing chemo, the slightest breeze would set her shivering, and she'd have to bundle up like an antarctic explorer to go outside (and we're in California.) So removing her hat might not have been only a matter of embarrassment (and like it or not, hair is strongly associated with femininity in this culture, and women usually suffer a great deal of psychological distress when they lose their hair,) but also a threat to her health.

[northzax]

31. and, as you will see in my post

I plainly made an exception for that exact situation.

[peace13]

53. Thank you for the careful explanation.

It is exhausting to educate the heartless. You did a great job. Peace, Kim

[Richard Steele]

19. Oh, real nice. Fetch my waders, your compassion is overflowing onto my floor.

[RaleighNCDUer]

20. A hat costs $6. A wig costs $150.

And that is not covered by insurance.

"just buy a wig' is not an option for many people.

[Lars39]

51. Free wigs are offered at the American Cancer Society,

but not everyone wants to wear one, and sometimes the selection isn't always that great.

[Contrary1]

22. Unless you are female and bald, I doubt that you would understand...

First of all, many insurance companies still don't cover wigs for people who have lost their hair due to chemo. I know a woman who had to buy four different ones because of swelling during her three years taking various chemo treatments.

People, especially women, undergoing chemo; have horrible hot flashes. Wigs just make it worse. Not only that, these patients are susceptible to illness because of a compromised immune system.

Ten years ago, I paid almost $200 for a wig. Sure, I could have spent less, but already being at the lowest point in my life, I did not feel like donning something that looked like shiny roadkill on my head.

A "knitted cap", with no visible hair should have been an obvious clue to this judge. Cosmetic? I disagree. Just maybe this woman could not afford a wig.

[northzax]

27. it's not cosmetic?

so it serves a medical purpose. by making an exception, we are telling her to cover her head, because she should be ashamed of herself. That's the message you are sending, you understand that, right? "we don't want to look at your hideousness, so cover yourself" why are we teaching people to be ashamed of medical treatment? is having cancer some sort of flaw?

[Contrary1]

34. Uh, no...I did not say that she should cover her head out of shame.

:eyes:

[northzax]

36. you certainly implied it

by saying she should be allowed to cover her head for purely cosmetic reasons. and since, in the post you were responding to, which I am certain you read, I made a plain exception for thermoregulation (then it's a medical neccesity) I can only imagine you were making an arguement on cosmetic grounds. therefore, she should cover her head out of shame of what it looks like. that's a cosmetic reason.

[Contrary1]

40. So this post by you is not what you meant?

"was there a medical reason she was wearing a hat? oh, it's that she was bald? so she was wearing the hat for cosmetic purposes, most likely, since she reacted to having to remove it not by taking it off and saying she was cold, but by running out. So why should the judge make exceptions for cosmetic reasons? that's the only reason ANYONE would wear"

[northzax]

41. yup.

including the..."not by taking it off and saying she was cold, but by running out."

didja miss that?

[NorthernSpy]

37. if it's necessary for her psychological wellbeing, then who the fuck are you...

... to question that?


I mean, for gawd's sake already!


:eyes:

[northzax]

39. I'm not

but then, who are you?

[NorthernSpy]

44. yes, you ARE questioning her decision to cover her hairloss with a hat...

And who am I?

Well, I'm just one person who doesn't feel compelled to start a goddamn argument over whether a person undergoing chemo has a legitimate reason to want to wear a hat in public. You know -- unlike you.

[hyphenate]

23. She had cancer

and had gone through chemotherapy, losing her hair in the process. Many people, men included, wear wigs (or toupees) if they have lost all their hair in this way, but sometimes it costs a lot of money that some people can't afford.

Most bald men are not looked at askance for their lack of hair, but for women it's a whole different ballgame. Especially if they're middle-aged and not looking like their baldness is a political or social statement--the explanations for alopecia are few, and most of them medically related.

[northzax]

32. so why are we teaching her to be ashamed of it?

certainly, there is some shame associated with being ill and weak in this society, but why is everyone on a progressive message board asking for that stigma to continue?

[NorthernSpy]

42. clearly, SHE prefers to wear her hat, so why not leave it up to HER?

so why are we teaching her to be ashamed of it?

certainly, there is some shame associated with being ill and weak in this society, but why is everyone on a progressive message board asking for that stigma to continue?

SHE's the one with cancer and the hairloss. It's not our place to "teach" her how to deal with those things.


You see, most of us prefer to respect this woman's decision to handle her condition by wearing a hat. Odd as it may seem to you, we believe that her feelings about her lack of hair are actually none of our business, and none of the judge's business, and even none of your business. It's simply not up to us -- or to him, or to you -- to "encourage" her to adopt the "right" attitude on the matter, or to force her to take off her hat.

[walldude]

25. That's kind of like not understanding the stupidity of our

president when he shot his mouth off at a blind reporter who was wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day...

[northzax]

30. another equivalent situation

we tell blind people to wear dark glasses because it makes us more comfortable not having to see their non-functioning eyes. and yes, I have been with my blind grandfather (who refused to wear sunglasses, saying "I'm blind, why bother?" when people have suggested he might be more comfortable in glasses. Why would HE be more comfortable? WE are more comfortable not being confronted with human frailty. we don't want to be confronted with people who are ill, so we teach them to cover their illness. we don't want to be confronted by blind people, so we teach them to wear sunglasses. we don't want to be confronted by people with genetic hair loss, so we teach them to wear hats or get ugly combovers. anything outside the 'ordinary' scares us.

[arikara]

29. Try walking in her mocassins

Its bad enough for a man, but for a woman, losing your hair or patches of your hair is devastating, and I assure you that the way you feel when it occurs makes more than a merely cosmetic issue. When I was in my early 20's my hair suddenly fell out completely within the space of a couple of weeks, this is a medical condition called alopecia. Cancer patients are warned that hair loss will happen but that doesn't make it any less terrible.

Thankfully it was winter and I could wear a toque everywhere but I had to take the bus on a 22 hr trip to the city to find a wig. I did't have much money, nor did I know the first thing about shopping for hairpieces and it was probably one of the most horrible experiences I have ever endured. If I had been in public somewhere and was ordered to take off my toque I would have just died. Now that I've had the condition for 30+ years, I'm much more casual about it and would have no problem removing the hat and embarassing the hell out of the callous jerk.

Believe me, I understand how this woman felt... at that I was not battling a life threatening disease on top of the emotional pain and shame of losing my hair.

Try walking in someone else's mocassins before passing judgement. Peace.

[northzax]

35. my point exactly

I'm much more casual about it and would have no problem removing the hat and embarassing the hell out of the callous jerk.


why not, instead of continuing the shame cycle with medical conditions, work to make it more acceptable in society? by making exceptions for purely cosmetic reasons, don't we encourage those with alopecia to be ashamed of their condition? you certainly didn't do anything to ask for it, right? this woman did nothing to ask for cancer, why the shame?

[NorthernSpy]

46. no, that's the OPPOSITE of your point...

You really don't get it, do you?


It's just not up to us to "encourage" this woman to feel any differently about her condition than she does. It's presumptuous to try to turn one person's private situation into some kind of a "cause" against her wishes -- even if one seeks to put a benevolent spin on ones motives.

If she had gone to court without her hat, and the judge had ordered her to cover her head, then you would have a point.


But that's the opposite of what actually happened.

[northzax]

48. actually, yes, it is

women are ashamed of alopecia because society tells them to be. last time I checked, society includes you and me.

if the judge wants to eliminate the rule about headwear entirely, that's up to him.

[arikara]

52. You are not understanding

the emotional devastation of losing your hair no matter what the cause. It took years for me to get to the point where I could have whipped off my hat in a public place. Maybe it wouldn't have bothered some people such as yourself but you are in the minority here. Then, you are not bald and from your attitude I imagine you as male, younger and haven't had as many slings and arrows thrown your way. But then that's being judgemental on my part too, isn't it... Regardless, you are not getting it.

[walldude]

26. That judge can go shit in his own hat....

Another fucking asshole with a god complex.

[DemGa]

43. What an ass

People should be allowed to dress however they damn well please.

[benld74]

45. Holly, you ignorant slut!

[VotesForWomen]

47. courtroom 'dress codes' are bulls**t; it takes more than good clothes to make a courtroom respectab

respectable. if they spent as much time ensuring equal and fair justice as they did enforcing the dress code, we'd all be better off.

[derby378]

50. Hardcore Quakers would never put up with that...

Historically, they only remove their hats for God and God alone. Nowadays, it's not such a hard and fast rule, but William Penn has been known to keep his hat on in the presence of James II of England - who removed his own crown in obedience to his own law that only one man could occupy the throne room who wore a hat.