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Section 1: Language Reformation Representative and Senators, while members of the United States Congress, and in the performance of their official duties, shall speak only the English language. Dialects/parts of that language forbidden from use on the floor of either chamber or in committees:
1. Bureaucratic nonsense 2. Technical jargon 3. Parliamentary jargon 4. Any reference to Southern culture, including, but not limited to, the dressing v. stuffing debate 5. Miscellaneous bullshit
Section 2: Public Auto-Auditory Gratification and Anti-Auto-Auditory Gratification Program Representative and Senators, while members of the United States Congress shall not receive floor privileges for their auto-auditory gratification. In addition, the sum of 3 billion dollars shall be allocated every fiscal year to a school program warning of the dangers of auto-auditory gratification, including involvement in politics.
Section 3: 30 Forms or Less Guarantee If a tax payer's service is not delivered in thirty forms or less, the fee for that service shall be waived. This is expected to reduce the amount of fees in the federal government completely.
Section 4: The Bullshit Consumer Protection Agency The people of the United States of America have been faced with the various health hazards associated with the rampant use of bullshit on the part of America's politicians. Pursuant to 69th Amendment to the United States Constitution, the people "have the inalienable right to bullshit free politics" and "the Congress of the United States may regulate by all means necessary and proper the production of bullshit" in this country. From this date forward, excessive amounts of bullshit shall be illegal, with the legal limit to be set by an independent panel of bullshitologists.
Section 5: The Line Item Bullshit The President of the United States shall have the authority to veto any bullshit within good cause. If the b-veto is disapproved by 2/3s of both houses in Congress, then the bullshit veto stands and the Congress looks like a bunch of idiots for trying to get away with bullshit.
Section 6: United States Appeals Court for the 1st District of Bullshit In any case or controversy arising from the usage of bullshit in any court proceeding, the appeals shall be tried by the United States Appeals Court for the 1st District of Bullshit. In addition, the court shall have jurisdiction over claims that bullshit vetoes were improper.
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