Why did the Secret Service bag Bush's poo and pee? "This is your President on drugs."

[BurtWorm]

Enjoy, conspiracy theorists!

:popcorn:

This is from HuffPo:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kenny-ausubel/this-is-your-president-on_b_93540.html


In a recent column titled "Soft Shoe in Hard Times," byline Washington DC, Maureen Dowd observed, "Everyone here is flummoxed about why the president is in such a fine mood... Boy George crashed the family station wagon into the globe and now the global economy." Yet he seems "goofily happy."

I have a hypothesis.

This is your President on drugs.

I first became suspicious after the famed pretzel incident. When Bush showed up in front of the cameras with the nasty scrape on his face, which he attributed to choking on a pretzel and falling off the couch while watching a ball game, there was wide speculation he'd started drinking again. At the time (pre-911), his ratings were in the dumps and Enron was crawling up his neck. Maybe the pressure was just too much for this known rage-aholic with an attention span of 15 minutes.

I soon noticed a distinct change in his voice and timbre. His speech had a flatline quality, a compression of peaks and valleys. His temper seemed tempered. He slurred a lot of words. His voice rasped with the gravelly sound of a permanent hangover.

I became convinced the President was on Prozac.

At lunch with a doctor friend last summer, for no particular reason I mentioned all this. He leaned in quizzically and looked me deep in the eye. He'd recently been chatting with a doctor friend of his who had been involved with Bush's European trip, and who wondered aloud about a strange practice he witnessed. Throughout the trip, the Secret Service bagged all the President's poop and pee.

Why would they do that, except to avoid drug testing?

...

[bdamomma]

1. .................

:thumbsup:

[Radio_Lady]

17. Here's an idea. Cut up the daily amount, put the Poo & Pee in small bags..

and sell them to the visitors to Washington, DC.

They do that with sand from Hawaii and Florida and make a mint!

[Bozita]

63. They sell horseshit from Kentucky Derby winners. They put a clump into a globe-shaped holder.

Just the thing for the coffee table.

[usaftmo]

75. Shhhh...don't tell the freepers,

they'll spend on their money on that!
:eyes:

[notadmblnd]

2. Well I don't think anyone would want to steal his DNA so they could clone him.

So he must have something to hide.

[Radio_Lady]

24. Scientific question. Can a person really be cloned from their POO?

Inquiring minds want to know.

[notadmblnd]

29. I would think so

a. you can extract DNA from feces
b. DNA is needed for cloning

Only makes sense IMO. But if someone did clone him, it could honestly be said that he is a piece of shit.

[Dr. Death]

30. Ordinary people, no, but ones that are nothing but lumps of shit to begin with yes

Not saying that Bush is a lump of shit. Except that he is.

[Radio_Lady]

32. ROFL...

for both of your answers!

[windbreeze]

55. Perfect response....absolutely perfect....LOL n/t

[zeos3]

77. lol, nice, I'd like to

I'd like to join this conversation but I've got to go to the bathroom and "clone the President"

[Bjorn Against]

69. If that person is Bush then yes, it is quite easy...

Just pull the poo out of the toilet and sculpt it into his face, that is all there is to it. It gets a bit smelly, but it is not hard to clone a piece of shit with the shit they expel.

[TwilightGardener]

3. OK, maybe they were checking to see if he might be the victim of a poisoning plot overseas?

Benefit of the doubt, benefit of the doubt.

[hermetic]

10. You don't really think

that he just gets a sushi from a street vendor, do you?

I suspect they check it before it goes in. Coming out? Interesting question.

[Radio_Lady]

14. "Holy crap!" ---- Now, there's a lead for Olbermann for tonight...

RIP, Peter Boyle... we miss you...

[TwilightGardener]

15. I don't know. Maybe he's paranoid, and wanted someone to do this for him?

[hermetic]

4. Maybe

they just didn't want that "good" DNA getting out.

Very interesting, that. Thanks for posting.

[colonel odis]

5. maybe he thinks he shits gold and pees diamonds

[Radio_Lady]

22. If the diamonds were "cut," that could be painful. If uncut, they could be marketed

as "uncut diamonds" -- or kidney stones.

You pays your money and you takes your choice.

[Mountainman]

6. Maybe to put it in his presidential library, nothing else he has is worth going there for.

"And here we have a display of GWB's poop and pee" freepers are having spontaneous orgasms at the site of it.

[bdamomma]

8. ..........

:rofl:

[BOSSHOG]

11. Dubya's poopie earrings

available in the gift shop. They are designed to go with the Purple Heart Bandages worn by the most discerning and proud conservative republicans.

[Mira]

49. great DUzie material here

:rofl:

[Kitty Herder]

7. Prozac doesn't do that. It's effects are mild to nonexistent. To me,

W. sounds drunk or high on too much of something like Xanax a good share of the time.

[MADem]

19. Maybe not to you, but Jim Cramer, who was on it, said otherwise in the article. nt

[Kitty Herder]

21. Isn't it far more likely, considering his behavior, that he's either tranquilized or

has fallen off the wagon?

[MADem]

37. Doug Thompson said it is both, back in 2004. I posted a link downthread. nt

[calimary]

79. And wouldn't that show up in a pee or stool sample?

I bet that IS the reason.

God - even the Secret Service has to clean up after him...

Who won't have to, by the time he's finished?

[tavalon]

45. That was my thought as well

I've been suspecting for some time that he's been drinking and then, when it gets really tough for him, he sneaks into Pickle's medicine cabinet for a bit of the Xanax. It shoudn't be too hard to get past the zombie woman.

[lpbk2713]

9. They are protecting all of mankind.

Some diabolically evil force could take the DNA from the body waste and clone it and make scores of Dumbyas.

I shudder at the thought of it. Thank you Secret Service for your regard for the future of the world.

[Radio_Lady]

12. Ummmm -- doesn't this fall under the guise of "bodily functions"???

Therefore, it should be locked -- but not before I've thought about it.

Interesting.......................

[ramapo]

13. Hard to believe

That is just too bizarre but that might be why it can be true

[HereSince1628]

16. Personally, I've had it up to "here" with Bush's shit

I really don't want to know more.

[Radio_Lady]

18. LOL!

[burythehatchet]

20. Gives new meaning to BUSHIT!

[mod mom]

23. Protecting the world from a possible cloning incident?

[rateyes]

25. Article: "We need to demand the poop on the President."

I would volunteer to poop on the pResident. :hi:

[FatDave]

35. No,leave that to a professional

[rateyes]

44. LOL.

[Arctic Dave]

26. If you want to think about this here you go.

Medically, you can learn a lot from your stool. Now, imagine if you are in a host nation and you do not want other people knowing if your leader is on "medications" because it would make them look less then omnipotent. If you dont think everything is analyzed go and read some old cold war history. (yes, they would have people intercepting your poo) It seems to me the SS would do this with any Prez.

[tavalon]

46. Not that I ever wanted a job with the secret service, but

it has just gotten knocked down about ten steps for me. I hate having to pick up my dog's poop, I am not going to do it for a git like Gee Dubya!

Sheesh!

[FatDave]

60. So what you're saying is...

...that the leader of the free world has to poop in a bag? Guess the job's not all it's cracked up to be.

(hehe... cracked)

But seriously, has anybody told Barack and Hillary about this? They may not be so eager once they know about all the bag pooping that goes on.

[rateyes]

27. You know, this is some serious shit...

we need to get to the "bottom" of it before it all "leaks" out. Know what I mean?

[BurtWorm]

72. Number 1: I agree with you

and Number 2: Let's not go there.

:patriot:

[rateyes]

80. ROFL

Good one.

[MADem]

28. Doug Thompson said this four years ago, and everyone, forgive the expression, pooh-poohed it.

http://www.capitolhillblue.com/artman/publish/article_7936.shtml

Bush's drinking and drug use must be investigated
By DOUG THOMPSON
Publisher, Capitol Hill Blue
Jan 3, 2006, 00:00
Email this article

Printer friendly page

It is my belief that President George W. Bush is drinking again. Even worse, he may be mixing alcohol and anti-depressants -- a dangerous combination for anyone, let alone the so-called leader of the free world.

No, I don’t have any proof of this, just random events and comments from those who work in and around the Bush administration and who tell me the President has acted in ways that suggest the use of alcohol and drugs. I’m a recovering alcoholic (sober 11 years, six months and 24 days) and I’ve run across a lot of relapsed drinkers who show the same symptoms as the President, including:

Blacking out while watching television alone;
Slurred speech and stammering responses to simple questions;
Anger and hostility in front of staff members;
Unexplained bruises on his face;
Trouble remembering recent events or comments.

During his trip to Mongolia last November, Bush openly sampled the local drink Airag, which is fermented milk with an alcohol content ranging from three to twelve percent. In other words, booze.

This was the same trip where Bush tried to evade reporters’ question by attempting to walk out a locked door and then turned sheepishly to the cameras and said he was “jet-lagged.” Some at the event said his stride was unsteady and his speech slurred.

“According to reports, President Bush may be drinking again,” David Letterman said in a late-night monologue. “And I thought, "Well, why not? He's got everybody else drinking.”

Rumors that Bush was hitting the bottle surfaced in Washington two years ago. Sources told us the President was using anti-depressants in 2004 and we reported the story.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.williambowles.info/empire/bush_on_drugs.html
28/07/04 Bush Using Drugs to Control Depression, Erratic Behavior

By TERESA HAMPTON
Editor, Capitol Hill Blue
www.capitolhillblue.com/artman/publish/article_4921.shtml

Bush Leagues
------------------------------------------------------------------------

President George W. Bush is taking powerful anti-depressant drugs to control his erratic behavior, depression and paranoia, Capitol Hill Blue has learned.

The prescription drugs, administered by Col. Richard J. Tubb, the White House physician, can impair the President's mental faculties and decrease both his physical capabilities and his ability to respond to a crisis, administration aides admit privately.

“It's a double-edged sword,” says one aide. “We can't have him flying off the handle at the slightest provocation but we also need a President who is alert mentally.”

Angry Bush walked away from reporter's questions.Tubb prescribed the anti-depressants after a clearly-upset Bush stormed off stage on July 8, refusing to answer reporters' questions about his relationship with indicted Enron executive Kenneth J. Lay.

“Keep those motherfuckers away from me,” he screamed at an aide backstage. “If you can't, I'll find someone who can.”.......

[Dr. Death]

31. He's our very own John Gill

[FreepFryer]

39. HELL of a reference. Love it. (n/t)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patterns_of_Force_%28Star_Trek%29

[Dr. Death]

42. Was wondering if anyone would get that.

[greyghost]

33. We brought it up in 2004 but of course the MSM fumbled the ball yet again.

[tavalon]

47. Fumbled?

You make it sound like incompetence, rather than willful refusal to do their jobs.

[greyghost]

74. Some of it is incompetence, then there are the corporate owned hacks.

[tavalon]

76. I wish I shared your optimism

I think very little of it is incompetence. Yes, there are the Katie Courics out there, who are just talking bobble heads, wholly incompetent, but then there seems to be this awful underbelly and I think it might be bigger than you think.

[greyghost]

78. A big part of the problem is that there are no investigative reporters.

Where are the new Mike Wallace's of the world when you need them?

[elizfeelinggreat]

57. YES

I know we/people DID bring this up - it was so obvious -- no one in the MSM wanted to know.

[Eurobabe]

34. He is and has hazardous waste n/t

[Richard D]

36. I think the real reason is . . .

. . . no human DNA to be found there.

That and cocaine and alcohol metabolites. And other stuff. Probably anti-psychotics, sleeping pills, anti-depressants, and at least several etc.'s.

[GCP]

38. What are the logistics of collecting poop and pee

Other than him using a potty? What a nightmare vision - Dumfuck squatting on a potty and some poor SS guy having to bag the output :puke:

[FatDave]

40. What do you have to do to get put on poop collection detail?

"Good morning, Mrs. Bitch...I MEAN BUSH!...BUSH...MRS...ah, crap, I'm on poop detail again, aren't I?"

[Neshanic]

41. Notice that kitty litter is hard to obtain in areas he visits? Coinky-dink? I think not.

[SoCalDem]

43. Not just for him..but for presidents before him too

I guess they don't want "curious" people analyzing medications & specualting on illnesses, etc..

or maybe they don;t want to see it for sale on ebay :rofl:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

48. Maybe they're trying to prevent practitioners of voodoo or santería from

casting spells?

[niyad]

50. my deepest thanks to all of you, first the OP, and the responders, for

some of the funniest things I have heard today.

we all need laughter, and plenty of it, especially in these days of the reign of george the insane. thank you all for cheering me up, and I hope your days are bright.

pace

[TNOE]

51. Maybe he's not even human

- could be a programmed cloned ape.



;-)

[JBoy]

52. King George's Throne

[Jester Messiah]

53. Um... because you're -supposed- to clean up when your animal makes a mess?

Hell, we'll be cleaning up his mess for decades to come.

[nadinbrzezinski]

54. Here is an ACTUAL explanation

you do that to protect potential health problems

Hell, we tried to get poo and pee from foreign leaders throughout the cold war

Sorry, if I don't quite fall into the tinfoil on this one

[seasat]

56. The Europeans told him to pack up his shit and get the hell out.

They've had enough of him.

[Kip Humphrey]

58. And they wrestled the turd to the ground...

[dkofos]

59. And what about the poor SS agent that has to hold the bag for him.

Talk about a shitty job!!

[RB TexLa]

61. They've done that with presidents for a long time. Nothing new.

[hermetic]

62. Oh, don't be

a party pooper!

[lectrobyte]

64. Really? Anything's possible, I guess, but why? Thanks.

[RB TexLa]

67. Prevent others from getting it. It's as good as a blood sample.

[Orsino]

65. After * takes a dump, they have to bag it and label it carefully.

They can't take a chance on the wrong president getting flushed.

[Beetwasher]

66. How can he breathe w/ a bag over his head?

:shrug:

[goclark]

68. Is that why he has to ask Condi for permission to go to the bathroom?

[eShirl]

70. IIRC it came out that his father was on Prozac

But, *do* I recall correctly? I don't know.

[Snarkoleptic]

71. Enough of this shit...can we please pinch it off?

;oP

[Dan]

73. Nah, you have a devious mind....obviously,

there are two reasons that come to mind:

(1) To prevent someone from cloning Bush;

Or

(2) To feed him later;

[MissHoneychurch]

81. OK I am wondering

if * goes to the bathroom to do his business there, now why wouldn't he flush it and it is gone??? No way to get any samples ..... I mean think about it.

[Saphire]

82. I'm wondering what they do with it. Presidential Library maybe?

[Vickers]

83. C'mon folks, he's not on drugs...

...it's a fetish.

[lonestarnot]

84. ack that picture, and before coffee...eeewwwwwweeee yuck.