JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri May-30-08 05:58 PM
Original message

***DUzy Awards for week ending May 30, 2008***

Edited on Fri May-30-08 06:56 PM by JeffR

Welcome to the plausibly deniable DUzy Awards, a compendium of star-spangled amusement from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The DUzy Awards will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.
Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to cbayer, Midlodemocrat, Peake, CaliforniaPeggy, FlyingSquirrel, CaliforniaPeggy, Warpy, scarletwoman, itsjustme, JoeIsOneOfUs, hootinholler, Junkdrawer, hisownpetard, 48percenter, RevCheesehead, gateley, badgerpup, stellanoir, AZDemDist6, eridani, dicksteele, Breeze54, ih8thegop, wryter2000, Kerrytravelers, malta blue, krispos42 and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition.

On a thread by The Straight Story:

      Man who's had sex with 1000 cars gives new meaning to auto-erotic
"Edward Smith never takes his girlfriend to expensive restaurants, or showers her with chocolates, flowers, or sexy lingerie - instead, a trip to the gas station and a nice bath are enough to keep her purring.

She also isn't bothered by his promiscuity. He's bedded, by his own account, 999 others.

Smith has taken man's romance with the automobile to a whole new level, and he claims his attachments to his metal, leather-upholstered companions are far from platonic.

The 57-year-old Washington state native first had sex with a car at age 15, and says he has never been sexually attracted to people, female or male. And he feels no need to change.

'I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone. Cars are just my preference,' he told British newspaper the Telegraph..."

response #1 by marmar:

      Lots of open gas caps when this guy is around.....
:hide:

response #3 by The Straight Story:

      Yeah, I don't want him 'filling' my tank
:)

response #4 by Tandalayo_Scheisskopf:

      Oh no.
Oh no no no no no. No. Just...No. How many ways can something be so wrong?

One question: Does he use Armorall or White Moly grease?

response #6 by panader0:

      I tried it once
But I singed my unit on the tailpipe. Never again. (Glad I wasn't wearing a condom)

response #8 by Ikonoklast:

      You know, that explains a lot of what's been going on lately
It used to be we went out all the time, sometimes on a whim, but now, it's "I'm out of gas" or "I need an oil change" or "You never take me anywhere new anymore!"

I wasn't sure, but now I know.

My car's been cheating on me.

response #9 by flvegan:

      In physical love with the Beetle.
If he was humping Lamborghinis, I'd understand. But the Beetle?

response #19 by Commie Pinko Dirtbag:

      They have a nice, round ass. -nt

response #34 by MilesColtrane:

      Beetles have more junk in the trunk.

response #13 by LeftyMom:

      That's it, I'm getting an alarm. nt

response #14 by angstlessk:

      hells bells no wonder I have been thwarted all my life..thought sex IN the car
was what I wanted...hell not the first time I was wrong!

response #15 by undeterred:

      Dumb question but I got nowhere else to ask it...
Why is a car a 'she'? Do men just see orifices EVERYWHERE?

response #26 by MilesColtrane:

      Yes.
But most of us don't try to mount them.

response #16 by ocelot:

      But he does have a kinky streak:
"His most intense sexual experience ever, he says, was with a helicopter."

It's great if you stay away from the rotors. :rofl:

response #17 by RazBerryBeret:

      Do you think he carpools?

response #22 by BlueJazz:

      Really ...and when he says "Pump the Gas" ...He Truly means Pump the Gas!
:)

response #21 by Solly Mack:

      My husband just said: "Fucker better stay from my Betsy"
Read him the story and that was the first thing that he thought of...his car. LMAO

Should I worry?

response #27 by MilesColtrane:

      Now I know why that deviant Ricardo Montalbon...
...was so hung up on Rich Corinthian Leather.

response #31 by Oregonian:

      So, which way does he go?... Stick or automatic?

response #33 by Solon:

      Hope he wears protection, who knows where the car's been!
Of course, that could lead to a case of burning rubber. :evilgrin:

response #26 by KG:

      I'm guessing he's a 'top'.

response #37 by Lady President:

      Note to self: Do not buy used cars

response #39 by scarletwoman:

      This post is useless without pics. (nt)

response #40 by flvegan:

      "Sadly, Ed found that the keyhole had the best fit for his manhood."

GD, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3333618

OP by MrCoffee:

      So what's up in the news today?
Did Senator Clinton say anything interesting on the campaign trail?

response #1 by The Magistrate:

      I Gather There Were Some Kittens Involved, Sir....
Pictures would be appreciated.

unnumbered response by redqueen:

      You are dead to me now.

response #42 by MrCoffee:

      Finally!
Is that all it took? Dammit, woman, you should have said something before!

response #50 by redqueen:

      You could have asked!

response #7 by flvegan:

      She chose "plastic" over "paper" at the grocery. The backlash is bad.
Quite tragic, really.

response #11 by Midlodemocrat:

      I can't bring myself to vote for her because of that.
Plus, she drives an SUV. :cry:

response #15 by MrCoffee:

      It's probably got XM, too. That's just so tacky.

response #20 by Midlodemocrat:

      I KNOW!!! She could have had Sirius.
She's probably a freeper after all.

response #22 by MrCoffee:

      That SUV wouldn't be a Jeep, would it?
Inquiring minds want to know!

response #24 by Midlodemocrat:

      It's probably one of those big badass Excursions or Suburbans.
She's dead to me. Oh, I probably shouldn't have said that.

response #66 by skygazer:

      Did she say something negative about Lee Mercer, Jr?
Because if she did, that's it! I'm REALLY through with her now! x(

response #80 by Boojatta:

      It depends on exactly what you mean by two words: "interesting" and "did."

response #81 by cbayer:

      She announced Lee Mercer as her running mate.
Several spaceships came down in Southern California (which accounts for the weird weather) and there was some kind of "costume malfunction" exposing all three thingies (if you get my drift).

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6094141

OP by Warren Stupidity:

I've put Senator Clinton on my Ignore List
It was the only thing left to do.

response #6 by WillyT:

Shit... Does She Post Here ???
What's her handle???

:evilgrin:

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6096748

On a thread by Shine:

I just discovered my son racked up almost $160 in iTunes charges on our credit card

response #2 by LeftyMom:

Congratulations, Shine.
You have the only teenager in America who actually pays for music. :rofl:

The Lounge, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7762712

On a thread by Bucky:

      If you've ever wanted to see GDP at its worst, now is the time

response #12 by Redbear:

      Im just glad Skinner vetoed that idea of allowing guns in here
or we would have us a killin' or two (hundred).

response #44 by DarkTirade:

      o, see, we'd be safe if EVERYONE had one.
Then nobody would use them.

:yoiks:

response #30 by sarge43:

      Poor Skinner
Right now GD-P is like the Hindenburg crashed into the Titanic at Pearl Harbor Dec 7th, 1941.

The Lounge, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7762157

OP by Boojatta:

Wake up! It's the month of May! Do you know what that means?
Many people will remember that it was in the month of May that Mary Jo Buttafuoco was tragically shot (but fortunately survived). Other shooting victims paid the ultimate price.

Although the event was both sad and significant, many people now have better recollection of dilemmas involving the question of whether or not someone dry-cleaned a dress to remove male bodily fluids.

Senator Clinton has some familiarity with the state of New York and might recall that a New York State parole board granted parole for Amy Fisher in 1999. As Tiny Tim observed, God bless us everyone.

Now I just know that someone is going to twist my words and squeeze out something that I never said.

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6097923

On a thread by mycritters2:

Honey, I'm home!!
What'd I miss?

response #2 by Parche:

2. Someone Threw A Bible At Hillary

McCain Flatulated in Church and sat down in his pew

Hagee was playing around with Rod's Parsley

Kenneth Copeland did Oral.................Roberts

Pat Robertson was just being himself.....a prick

Not much really.

:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

:hi:

The Lounge, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7762525

OP by Darth_Kitten:

      Obama is no RFK.
There, I said it.

response #1 by Old Crusoe:

      Chris Dodd is no Vincent Price.

response #4 by chascarrillo:

      However, Mitt Romney is Bela Lugosi.

response #6 by havocmom:

      Ghandi is no kitten

response #3 by Katzenkavalier:

      John McCain is no Spring Chicken.

unnumbered response by Kool Kitty:

      My husband is no Viggo Mortensen.
Not that I don't love him, just sayin'.

response #20 by Buzz Clik:

      I'm telling him you said that.
He swears that you tell him that you think he looks better than Vigo.

response #19 by Bucky:

      George Bush is no Dan Quayle
I mean, shit, think about how bad Dan must feel. Boy can't even get "too stoopid" right.

response #55 by Crunchy Frog:

      And Hillary is no Sirhan Sirhan...
as far as I know.

response #60 by Gilligan:

      Word association is fun!
The Eiffel Tower is no Statue of Liberty.
:rofl:

response #62 by BushDespiser12:

      GD-P is no picnic.

response #63 by CreekDog:

      And Jesus is no Soupy Sales
there I said it. :crazy:

GDP, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6109423

OP by hisownpetard:

In honor of Memorial Day, Bush vows to give up miniature golf.
However, some say that he never liked mini golf anyway.

When asked by a reporter if the President really believes that this is a 'sacrifice' on his part,
Dana Perino replied, "You got a problem with that, Helen?"

response #1 by Jake3463:

Then is spotted
Miniature golfing 10 minutes later.

GDP, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6116429

On a thread by wicasa:

      GOP fundraiser canceled for lack of interest
"A planned mega-fundraiser for the GOP, featuring President Bush and John McCain, has now been scaled back in the face of a daunting problem: Too few people actually wanted to buy tickets.

According to the Phoenix Business Journal, fundraiser set for this Tuesday in the city's convention center failed to sell enough tickets, leading to fears that the anti-Bush protesters might end up outnumbering actual attendees.

The new plan is for the Bush-McCain fundraising effort, which will benefit both the McCain campaign and the RNC, to be held in private residences in the Phoenix area away from media coverage..."

response #12 by tridim:

      They'll be down to bake sales by November.
Losers. :)

response #17 by GreatCaesarsGhost:

      so they really are taking that brand of dog food off the shelf.

response #29 by KharmaTrain:

      You Can't Compete With Bingo Night In Sun City...
The damned thing about those booooosh "fundraisers"... they seem to vanish once word gets out he's coming to town.

Honestly, I am disappointed. I was hoping for some pics of georgie and gramps in a lip lock and all sorts of great quotes of how Gramps would be the next "Decidererererer".

I guess Cindy will have to go hustle more Budweiser to make up for this shortfall.

GD, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3334574

On a thread by unapatriciated:

      Poor ticket sales, expected protests scuttle Bush-McCain fundraiser at Phoenix Convention Center

response #4 by lpbk2713:

      What will they do with all those Porta-Potties?
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

response #9 by Lastlaughin08:

      You mean the mobile Kool-Aid fountains the RW drinks from?

response #10 by Amerigo Vespucci:

      "I've told them a hundred times, put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last..."
:rofl:

GD, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3335033

On a thread by chill_wind:

Damn! Bush-McCain Fundraiser Scaled Back - Can't Sell Enough Tickets.

response #17 by Orsino:

Think Skinner might offer a special fund-raising drive here?
I mean, November isn't going to be any fun if only Democrats show up.

GDP, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6105060

On a thread by polichick:

The silver lining is that now Obama is off the hook about his veep choice...

response #16 by corkhead:

If he did pick her, "Food Taster" would have to become a cabinet position

GDP, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6109303

On a thread by Bluzmann57:

      A way to prove that you are 100% crazy

response #1 by MichiganVote:

      Does posting in GD: P count?

response #3 by dicksteele:

      He said "crazy", not hateful and douchebaggish. DIFFERENT! .nm

The Lounge, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7766974

On a thread by Skinner:

      Obviously, Senator Clinton's comment was a huge gaffe. But I think it's apparent that her intent...
...was to point out that the Democratic presidential primary in 1968 was still going on in June. I do not think she was trying to suggest that Senator Obama might be assassinated...

response #7 by msongs:

      the obama mob will be getting their torches and pitch forks and come after you for this
if obama is the nominee this nation better hope and pray he is nothing like his so called supporters on DU.

response #17 by QC:

      Yes, it is probably time for today's Lord of the Flies re-enactment. n/t

GDP, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6108152

OP by cliffordu:

Grantcart, tell us the story about the delegate magic again, pleeeze!!??!?!?!?

GDP, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6117910

On a thread by n2doc:

      Revealed at last:how Obama gets his supporters

Be sure to check out the cartoon in the OP.

response #1 by Cant trust em:

      He gave me some candy.

response #3 by Kristi1696:

      I got a sticker. n/t

response #6 by scarletwoman:

      He sent me a pajamagram.

response #11 by kevsand:

      He gave my daughter a noogie. /nt

response #10 by blogslut:

      If I'm a bot
Then why did he program me to get so old and flabby?

response #20 by tokenlib:

      He told me I'd feel better about my crappy bowling and smiled....
..I don't like Kool-aid, it's too sweet.

GDP, May 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6109177

On a thread by The Straight Story:

      Fla. Man Selling Ghosts trapped in bottles
"A St. Augustine man is selling containers filled with what he describes as ghosts.

John Deese said he has ghosts trapped in bottles.

'This was actually the first one that was caught, in Decatur County, Ga., in an old farmhouse,' Desse said, showing off one ghost in a bottle.

While Deese said he contracts with professional ghost catchers around the country and that it’s the ghost catchers who actually stuff the phantasms into a bottle, he wouldn’t elaborate on exactly how the ghosts get into the bottles.

'Well, if you went to KFC, you wouldn't ask for secret recipe,' Deese said. 'They’ll go in and catch them from haunted establishments, cars, hotels, maybe even graveyards...'"

response #1 by Old Crusoe:

      I'll take half a dozen.

response #2 by The Straight Story:

      They'd be good for halloween gift baskets
Although i'd rather just a bottle of real 'spirits' like rum :)

response #18 by Donnachaidh:

      It's the same crowd that buy the holy water bags from PTL TV
"Lookie here Maude -- I jest bought me a GIN-U-WINE Confederate Ghost! Caught at the battlefield site on RedTop Mountain! Yee-Haw!"

:rofl:

response #11 by bananas:

      You can buy spirits in a bottle at the supermarket.
In the beer, wine and liquor section.

response #12 by Dr.Phool:

      Don't laugh. I saw one that escaped and ran for Senate in Florida in 2006.
They've even got a movie with it on HBO tonight.

One thing about them ghosts. They ain't any brighter than the people that buy them.

response #15 by dixiegrrrrl:

      I want the ghost of Jim Croce
seems appropriate...

response #17 by BlueJazz:

      The main problem with this seller is: How do we know that the bottles...
...contain Real Ghosts and not those phony artificial ones ??

response #29 by Godhumor:

      Great! I'll put it next to my Prince Albert in a can!
What?

response #31 by galledgoblin:

      cool, a genie!
*shakes bottle*

response #32 by Jack Rabbit:

      Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned snake oil?
Con men just ain't what they used to be.

response #34 by trof:

      Teflon snakes killed the market.

And see below for some Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

GD, May 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3339267

On a thread by themartyred:

I was just verbally assaulted and had the police called on me (like they care, ha)

Read the anecdote in the OP to understand how the response below fits...

response #17 by bullwinkle428:

You should have just asked her "Shouldn't you be home making
a coat out of Dalmatian puppies or something like that?"

GD, May 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3340858

OP by insanity:

It is no longer possible to fit any more people under the bus
As it is, the amount of people currently under the bus make it very hard for the bus to move.

Also, the analogy gets old after it is used every single day.

response #9 by Political Heretic:

You just threw the bus under the bus!

GDP, May 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6119430

OP by dicksteele:

I'm posting from Sweetie's Folks' house, viewing DU on a PC via IE...wow, is this different!
Not necessarily "worse" than my 2001-era iMac running Firefox...
but it's sure as hell DIFFERENT!

Thank G*D I'm drunk off my ass, or I might be a bit annoyed.

The Lounge, May 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7767274

On a thread by unhappycamper:

      Rolling Thunder asks Bush to become a member
"Members of the Rolling Thunder motorcycling group roared into town for a White House visit Sunday, where they presented President Bush with his own cowhide vest jacket and pushed for increased veterans benefits.

'Mr. President, we’d like to make you an honorary member of Rolling Thunder,' said Artie Muller, the group’s executive director, to a delighted Bush, who shed his suit jacket to don the vest and pose for pictures.

'You’ve done a lot for the country, and the troops appreciate you, and the veterans appreciate you, and your president appreciates you,' Bush told the group..."

response #1 by jimshoes:

      Hey he can always use clothespins to
attach baseball cards to the spokes on his "chopper".

response #6 by Idealist Hippie:

      He will no doubt have his tailor stitch up a matching black leather codpiece.
What a priceless addition to his "I'm pretending I am somebody who isn't a piece of shit" costume collection.

Veterans, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=259x15324

OP by Gore1FL:

      McCain is so old...
He and God were classmates in elementary school

When God said "Let there be Light" McCain said "let there be sunglasses"

If he invested $10 in a mutual fund when he was 20 years old, he could pay off the national debt now.

That when the Big Bang occurred, he didn't hear it.

His first affair was with Eve.

Kudos to Bluenorthwest for giving me this idea in another thread.

Your turn!

response #2 by shadowknows69:

      His spirit wakes up before his body and dials 9-1-1 for the medics

response #16 by Swamp Rat:

      ... his first campaign speech was recorded on a wax cylinder.

And I think the graphic here has already won a DUzy. If not, it has now.

GDP, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6134935

OP by Lautremont:

They say that Hillary Clinton will drop out of the primary race
when the cicadas sing again. When the famous Rose of Tremanalee opens its petals to the wind. When the water-dog swims anew. Lo, when the call comes roaring down the mountains, only then shall she drop herself from this race.

It has been so written.

response #4 by Lautremont:

And it is said that when the squares on the waffle number two dozen,
and the prairie crocus empurples again, and the first snowflake falls on Kalamazoo, and when the lightbulb in the Exit sign has finally gone dim, and when the last sugar cone is served, only then will Hillary Clinton drop out of the primary race.

GDP, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6135186

OP by insanity:

      Gaitgate
I don't like the way that Barrack Obama walks... his strut is so elitist and out of touch with white-working class voters. Every time he walks around I think to myself, "Oh man, he is so on his way to Starbucks."

response #12 by DarienComp:

      OMG, I know.
He doesn't walk like a real man from the Heartland. He walks like an effete, latte-sipping elitist liberal Black-Liberationist who's also a secret Muslim that idolizes Ronald Reagan, all while hating the American-flag, considering babies to be punishments, and selling crack on the street corners of slumlord Rezco. I heard that he grabs his crotch during the Pledge of Allegience.

response #13 by coyotespaw:

      You know, I can't stand the entrance through his fence...
Gategate

response #21 by SemiCharmedQuark:

      He'll never get the vote of blue collar walkers.

GDP, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6135154

On a thread by Bluebear:

      Christian Newswire: New "After the Rapture" Email Service Launched
"A new 'after the Rapture' email service has been launched. Unlike other post-Rapture mailing services, the You've Been Left Behind website allows the customer to edit all documents and addresses at any time. This online site is run and programmed by Christians. It employs a 'dead man's switch' to automatically send the Emails after the Rapture of the Church has taken place. Multiple safeguards have been put into place to prevent premature sending of stored documents...

The cost of the service is currently an annual fee of $40. The operators of the website pledge to reduce the fee as subscriptions increase. Also, no less than 10% is donated to Christian charities..."

response #1 by XemaSab:

      $40 is a small price to be paid
for posthumous schadenfreude. :P

response #4 by Liberal Veteran:

      40 dollars a year for a post-rapture gloat service?
Damn...why the hell don't I think of creative ways to bilk the gullible?

response #13 by AndyTiedye:

      Yep, and the Internet is So Robust That Even the Rapture Won't Take It Down

response #16 by SalmonChantedEvening:

      "Youve Got Tribulation!"
:silly:

response #25 by Neshanic:

      "Iz gone tu heevnz to see Ceiling Cat! Pleez changz timerz on spriklerz."

response #33 by MilesColtrane:

      I think most of them will be going to AOHell.

response #34 by Neshanic:

      Then just before the Rapture a Vista update and all Hell breaks loose.

GD, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3343144

OP by Mooney:

      A Handy Guide To GDP Terminology: "Google It" = "I'm talking out of my ass."
Sometimes, people on this board will make an allegation.

That person will then be challenged to support their allegation with a link, what with this being the internet and all.

If that person responds by saying "Google it," what this actually means is "I have no evidence to support what I'm saying, because I'm lying or I don't know what I'm talking about. However, I'm going to say it anyway, and then act as though substantiating my claim is beneath me, in the hope that nobody will call my bluff."

So next time someone says something, and you ask them to substantiate their claim, and they tell you to "Google it," just remember this handy guide. THEY'RE COMPLETELY FULL OF SHIT.

response #1 by rug:

      Link?

response #2 by Kittycat:

      Google it.
:shrug:

GDP, May 26, 2008 (and here's the link): http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6137156

OP by JohnnyLib2:

      Help! It's a long weekend and I'm low on faux outrage.
Suggestions?
Contributions?
Hot-button pushes?

response #1 by taterguy:

      Go over to GDP and dedicate the song "Bitches Ain't Shit" to the person of your choice
You'll generate lots of faux outrage

response #3 by MrsGrumpy:

      I could have my Republican coworker call you and go on and on
about fuel prices and how "everything's turning around...", that should get you going. :hug:

response #7 by JohnnyLib2:

      Hey--I know that person.
Still got the Bush sticker, right?

response #9 by MrsGrumpy:

      Yes, and goes around saying how he "used to be a Dem"
Yeah, right...

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

The Lounge, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7768593

On a thread by JimGinPA:

      Obama Supporters: Best Campaign Merchandise Ever!
Thongs for Obama!

response #1 by gateley:

      JimGinPA --
Not if you've got my ass.

response #3 by sniffa:

      Marble sacks for change
:rofl:

response #6 by rug:

      Very presidential.

GDP, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6132985

On a thread by 48percenter:

      Crazy About Barack - Obamamania Infects Germany, Der Spiegel
"Berlin political circles -- both liberal and conservative -- are fawning over US presidential candidate Barack Obama. Many in Germany see him as a cross between John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr., but expectations may be exaggerated...

Frank-Walter Steinmeier had hoped to meet personally, but Barack Obama has a lot on his plate at the moment and Germany's foreign minister had to make do with a telephone conversation with the presidential candidate during his recent visit to Washington. Still, that's all it took to stir Steinmeier's enthusiasm for the candidate.

The American may be deep in the midst of a campaign, but members of Steinmeier's entourage told SPIEGEL that Obama's foreign policy questions were very engaged, and he peppered his conversation with questions about the German foreign minister's views on Russia, Iran and Afghanistan...

The few minutes spent on the telephone gave Steinmeier the impression that Obama is prepared to fundamentally reconsider the course of US foreign policy. Steinmeier was impressed, and only a day later he publicly outed himself as the senator's latest fan. 'Yes we can,' the minister, not known for his emotional outbursts, chanted, evoking Obama's campaign slogan during a speech at Harvard University.

Steinmeier used the term to express his desire for a renewal of trans-Atlantic relations..."

response #2 by rug:

      Germans are usually more levelheaded about political leaders.

response #6 by Swamp Rat:

      Oberhammer!
:D

response #26 by zidzi:

      Obamawurst!
B-)

response #32 by TahitiNut:

      Barackheit
:rofl:

response #34 by HooptieWagon:

      Obamafernugen...

response #35 by TahitiNut:

      Fahr out!
:rofl:

response #9 by Liberal Veteran:

      Obviously they are misogynist and therefore support the MALE candidate.
Like that Merkel fellow running Germany now.

response #18 by meow mix:

      send forth the buses.
germany is dead to me.

GDP, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6136070

On a thread by lildreamer316:

Teh Cuteness,it is lethal:

Lolotter pic...

response #9 by AchtungToddler:

I think I just felt my let-down reflex trigger
and being a human male, it's a bit confusing.

:blush:

The Lounge, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7769099

On a thread by George_Bonanza:

Just how exactly did the Democratic party unfairly treat Hillary?

response #2 by hfojvt:

well, when the media attacked her for her pastor's comments
and for her neighbor, who was an unconvicted radical from the 1960s, neither Dean nor any other leading Democrat came to her defense. And what about when Obama dismissed her as nothing more than a speech she made in 1995? He wouldn't have been so derogatory about her accomplishments if she wasn't a woman. And the blogosphere has been bad too, calling her supporters cultists and sexists, and always making sure to insert her middle name, saying Rodham or HRC every chance they got, trying to remind people that her father was a Republican. The worst part was the way the media kept trying to get everyone on the Obama bandwagon by always pointing out that he was the nearly unstoppable front-runner with the backing of a very famous and popular spouse, and the way all those hundreds of super-delegates endorsed Obama before anybody even got to vote.

GDP, May 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6142578

OP by Bucky:

If Cactus Jack Garner is not our nominee, I won't vote in November. Let Hoover have his 2nd term!
Screw Roosevelt - he's an elitist and doesn't have a real plan to end the Depression. Just platitudes and generalities.

response #5 by Bornaginhooligan:

Why don't we ever see Mr. Roosevelt playing basketball?
Why won't don't we ever see Franklin "Delano" Roosevelt dancing?

He strikes me as very arrogant.

GDP, May 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6146270

OP by Johnyawl:

Hillary as VP unites the Democratic Party...
...Half the party will be unhappy that Obama is the nominee; the other half will be unhappy Clinton is the VP.

See? We're all be united in our unhappiness.

No. Really. This will work. Both sides can take credit for winning the election, and then we can spend the next 4 years ignoring the republicans and sniping at each other.

We'll bring a whole new ethos to the Democratic Party. Instead of being perpetual losers, always finding a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, we'll win, but find a way to be miserable and unhappy about it.

GDP, May 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6149274

On a poll by greenbriar:

:bluebox: The Democratic Candidate...no matter who

:bluebox: McCain

:bluebox: Barr

:bluebox: Nader

In November how will you vote?

response #56 by prodn2000:

Other - Stinking DRUNK
I usually take election day off.

GDP, May 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6142417

OP by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      What was the defining moment that sparked your dislike for Lee Mercer Jr.?
...somebody had to do it

response #3 by bicentennial_baby:

      When he couldn't assure me that Jeb Bush wouldn't be
all in my house with disease. x(

response #7 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      When Jeb Bush uses your bathroom...
It's probably best to just remodel the whole damned thing afterward -- just to be sure.

response #4 by blogslut:

      It wasn't one defining moment
It was all three

response #5 by Bucky:

      He's divisive... he's tearing the party apart. He's all up in MY house with disease. All three!
We need a unity dream ticket. We need Walken-Mercer. Otherwise Ron Paul will be the next president!

response #34 by Leopolds Ghost:

      This would of course be the Dream Ticket, made necessary by Mercer's missteps
He needs Walken to close the sale with those elusive working, hard working white voters in Western Pennsylvania (all three).

response #6 by Madam Mossfern:

      When I found out that he wants to regulate
government sleepers.
I enjoy an occassional 40 winks.

response #9 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      Why do you hate America?
Sleeping is for terrorists. I happen to know the Osama gets eight hours every night.

response #8 by islandmkl:

      personally, for me, it wasn't any of the three...
it's just that the latest 'jr.' hasn't worked out all that well...

and dudes named Lee make me nervous...

response #11 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      So the Lee Mercer/Lee Majors ticket isn't working for you?
How about Lee Meriwether/Jet Li?

response #10 by FLDem5:

      his refusal to consider the VP slot. All three!

response #17 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      I'm not sure he can find the VP slot...

response #14 by underpants:

      Not black enough
didn't want to be a part of his "cult" either

response #26 by grantcart:

      what moment? what dislike?

response #27 by Connie_Corleone:

      When he told me he wasn't my daddy.
He said he only took me in because I was good for business.

:cry:

response #36 by Leopolds Ghost:

      Bastard in a Basket!

response #42 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      Bastard in a Basket?
Is that with fries or onion rings?

response #43 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      Bastard in a Basket?
Is that with fries or onion rings?

response #44 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      This was not a mistake...
I'm double-posting everything from now on in support of Mercer

response #45 by Jeff In Milwaukee:

      Fuck...
I tried to double post on purpose and I couldn't do it. But don't take this as any wavering in my support.

response #30 by LSK:

      His "I have A Wet Dream" speech
:hide: :hide: :hide: :hide: :hide:

GDP, May 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6145926

OP by dmsRoar:

      I've looked at all the numbers up & down & back & forth.Clinton DOES in fact lead the Shmopular Vote
As you might've noticed by all my poll postings and analysis, I'm something of a numbers junkie. Well, this Obama supporter had a rude awakening when I crunched the figures for vote totals in all the primary states. It's apparent that Clinton DOES in fact lead the Shmopular Vote.

First, for those of you who aren't mathematical experts, a word about the technical difference between Popular Vote Totals and Shmopular Vote Totals. Accurate and meaningful Popular Vote Totals demand certain conditions including, but not limited to:
1. both candidates' names actually on a ballot
2. voters expecting their votes to be counted
3. the DNC agreeing to honor results in a particular state
4. proper weighting of caucus results
5. factoring out any verifiable Republican crossover mischief
6. including all vote totals from states whose voters are eligible to vote in November

Of course, we know Obama is well-ahead by a million or so votes by this old outdated metric that has no connection to how Democrats choose a nominee anyway. BUT--and here's the problem, fellow Obama supporters, our guy is getting crushed in the Shmopular Vote.

Shmopular Vote totals require a different set of preconditions:
1. proper disenfranchisement of all voters in all caucus states (exception: NM)
2. including all vote totals in states where voters did not expect their vote totals to count
3. proper weighting of votes in states where only one candidate was on the ballot (named candidate's votes=named candidate's votes + undecided votes)
4. factoring out current national polling of Democrats about their preference for the nominee

By this metric--and I know it's hard to hear this--Clinton leads Obama by a few thousand votes. I wish the news were better, Obama supporters, but as we all know, Democrats have always chosen their nominee by Shmopular Vote Totals--not Popular Vote Totals, and certainly never by delegates (which a few of you have been disingenuously posting about).

Of course, there is one other metric, which we'll be hearing a lot about after June 3rd and which is equally as valid as Shmopular Vote Totals as a means of choosing a nominee: Shmelectability. After June 3rd, I'll be posting about Shmelectability and its own preconditions (one working class white vote=two votes, how VA & CO aren't countable states, etc.). A word to the wise, though: a preliminary look only has Obama performing well on Electability, which is entirely different from Shmelectablity, the preferred metric.

response #12 by Dr_eldritch:

      Yeah, but you left out the effect of the shmaucuses...
and the schmelegates!

response #16 by dmsRoar:

      I'm willing to amend my analysis if you can make a strong shmargument.

response #17 by cbc5g:

      Shmexist Shmisogynists pigs !
:)

response #21 by AtomicKitten:

      Schmoopie!

response #26 by Cheap_Trick:

      lest we forget the "mmmmmbopular" vote
which was big for awhile, and then faded into obscurity......

response #29 by NC_Nurse:

      Holy Shmokes!

response #32 by wildeyed:

      shmrofl!
:rofl:

GDP, May 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6156919

OP by mckeown1128:

      Breaking: Poop-gate debunked.
The major Clinton supporter driven Obama scandal of the day has been poop-gate. Some dipsh%t cop accused the Obama campaign of setting up porta potties on/near a fallen cop memorial, during Obama's 75,000 person rally. The cop of course didn't notify the Obama campaign at the time... he was too busy taking pictures to send to the press.

Thanks to the time spent by one of our own... it has now been debunked:

Dr_eldritch

I just got off the phone with the Portland parks department...
"Darren" said that the Parks Department provides the space, and the port-o-john company that you contract is responsible for placement.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=6154597&mesg_id=6158236

Now... I officially place poop-gate in the "OFFICIAL STUPID-GATES BOX"

Where it will no join it's cousins "Snub-gate", "Pickle-gate", "Obama-scratched-an-itch-gate", "57states-gate", and of course the ever loved "Sweetie-gate" along with many, many others.

response #4 by tokenlib:

      Thanks for the straight poop on the issue...n/t

response #5 by davsand:

      Poop-gate is going down the poop-chute, in other words?
:shrug:

response #31 by Tesha:

      Suddenly, I feel like we've forgotten PolandGate! (NT)

response #43 by gabby garcia:

      i feel so..
relieved.

GDP, May 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6159559

Poll question by Bucky:

      Obama is at risk of not blowing this election. Who should he pick as VP to ensure failure?
It's a longstanding tradition in the Democratic Party to blow super important elections. The problem with a life-long problem solver and self proclaimed "agent of change" like Barack Obama is that he may fail to uphold this tradition. We all want to see more available healthcare for the nation's uninsured, but Obama may actually do something about it. We all want the occupation of Iraq to end, but Obama seems to actually have a plan to bring our troops home.

This must not stand. We're Democrats, dammit. We cannot afford to blow this chance to fail in this year's election. Our last chance to blow it all will be when Obama selects his vice presidential running mate. Who is the best worst choice Obama can make?

:bluebox: Jeremiah Wright

:bluebox: Geraldine Ferraro

:bluebox: Joe Lieberman

:bluebox: Elliot Spitzer

:bluebox: John Hagee

:bluebox: The Obama Girl

:bluebox: Lanny Davis

:bluebox: Alberto Gonzales

:bluebox: write ins (courtesy of Diebold)

response #5 by beat tk:

      George Clooney. Definitely more likely than the other choices.

response #7 by Bucky:

      Nice post, Lee Mercer

response #18 by rug:

      Donnie McClurkin

At press time, "write ins (courtesy of Diebold)" was winning with 43% of the votes.

GDP, May 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6158621

Poll question by jtg33:

      Just how much does John McCain suck?
It's a question I've been wondering for a while now. This man sucks so much that it's hard to measure exactly HOW much he sucks, but I've narrowed it down to a few options. Personally, I think he sucks so much that light cannot escape his surface - much like the common black hole, or Dick Cheney's heart.

So what say you, DU? Just how much does John McCain suck?

:bluebox: He totally sucks.

:bluebox: He sucks ass.

:bluebox: He sucks elephant ass.

:bluebox: He sucks so much, his nickname is “Hoover.”

:bluebox: He sucks so much, light cannot escape his surface.

:bluebox: He sucks so much, Genghis Khan though he was a dick.

:bluebox: He sucks so much, the Democrats could nominate a can of beans and McCain would STILL lose the election.

:bluebox: Come on, lighten up. He’s not THAT bad… Also, I am a Freeper.

:bluebox: Nice post, troll.

:bluebox: Other – Please explain.

response #2 by dicksteele:

      He sucks like a large sucking thing working on its PhD in Advanced Theoretical Suckology. nm

response #6 by ericgtr:

      He could suck the copprer off a penny
Only if you truly suck will you earn such prestige.

response #8 by BlueManDude:

      He sucks in a Mavericky kind of way.

response #14 by Zavulon:

      Sucks so much that I'd rather watch a "Full House" marathon than hear that deluded fuck speak. (NT)

response #15 by Bryan:

      He sucks so hard, he could take the rust off a battleship
He sucks so hard, he can mine gold from seawater.

He sucks so hard, he has his own microclimate.

response #17 by ZombyWoof:

      That "giant sucking sound" we heard
Wasn't NAFTA.

It was the sound of McCain on spring break in Cozumel.

response #20 by Gore1FL:

      You know why it is so windyin the midwest?
Because in Az McCain sucks and in DC Bush Blows.

response #23 by Tierra_y_Libertad:

      McSuck and a straw would endanger Lake Erie.

At press time, "He sucks so much, the Democrats could nominate a can of beans and McCain would STILL lose the election." was winning with 39% of the votes.

GDP, May 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6163457

Poll question by Peake:

What will the GD: P Diehards do when there is but one Democratic Candidate?

:bluebox: Walk around in circles singing: Oh Uh-Oh!

:bluebox: Declare war upon some random kitchen utensil, because they're just not ready to stop fighting for fighting's sake.

:bluebox: Start making sense.

:bluebox: Work en mass to uncover the identity of the last Cylon.

:bluebox: Be mistaken for the cast of "Zombie Nightmare 3".

:bluebox: Work hard to prevent the annual lemming migration, both figuratively and literally.

:bluebox: Take the skinheads bowling.

:bluebox: Open a nation-wide chain of high-mileage wicker-based automobile stores. Prior to having any proof of concept.

:bluebox: Where is the Robb selection?

:bluebox: Profusely thank the lovely person who donated a DU Star in my name...

At press time, "Declare war upon some random kitchen utensil, because they're just not ready to stop fighting for fighting's sake." and "Take the skinheads bowling." were tied with 25% of the votes each.

The Lounge, May 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7776789

On a thread by PageOneQ:

      Larry Craig to tap memory to write new book
"Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, is writing a book that will reflect on the turmoil after his arrest last year in an airport sex sting.

Craig, 62, is retiring from Congress in January after 18 years in the Senate and a decade in the House..."

response #6 by El Supremo:

      Title suggestion: 'Smokin' in the Boys' Room'

response #11 by Edgewater_Joe:

      Will He Call it "I AM NOT WRITING A BOOK"?
And, will it be appropriate reading in the bathroom?

Discuss.

response #12 by Blaq Dem:

      "My Career Down the Toilet"

response #13 by King Coal:

      Lookin' for lub in all the wrong places.

response #18 by beac:

      "A Wide--and Principled-- Stance" by Larry Craig.

response #20 by beac:

      "Brother, Can You Spare a Square? : Speed-Networking for the Busy Traveling Executive"

LBN, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3330232

OP by BL611:

      What should John McCain's GE slogan be?
Seriously we should help him out, I'll get the ball rolling:

John McCain: The closest you can get to 4 more years.

John McCain: No malignant cancer at this juncture of time.

John McCain: The white guy.

John McCain: The change we need...Cause our bladder control isn't what it used to be.

response #6 by Starbucks Anarchist:

      Where charisma goes to die.

response #9 by Kristi1696:

      John McCain: White male for President. nt

response #13 by americanstranger:

      McCain: More War Years! n/t

response #27 by Ikonoklast:

      McCain For President....
Because There Still Some Parts Of The Government Dubya Hasn't Screwed Up Yet.

Send Your Kids To Die For Oil And Empire! McCain In 1908! I Mean 1988! Er......

Or I'll Punch Your Fucking Head In.

My Lobbyists Tell Me That I Can Steal You Blind, Then Piss On You! Hahahahahaaaa!!!

response #33 by Sparkly:

      Vote McCain: Because You Still Haven't Learned a Damn Thing.

response #38 by JimGinPA:

      McCain - The Other White Meat

And see below for some Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

GDP, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6172963

OP by Hubert Flottz:

The DE-Puzzlement Of A pResident...
The pResident called up CONdie Rife one morning about 2:30 AM in a hell of a tizzy and W told her to get over to the office, ASAP. He told her that he'd bought a jigsaw puzzle that he said was supposed to be a big picture of a rooster and that he'd been working on it for over a week and he hadn't been able to get even two pieces of it put together yet.

CONdie got dressed and rushed over to the White House and George was pacing the floor in the Oval Office in front of his desk. He pointed to his desk and ask CONdie what she could do with his puzzle. CONdie looked at the mess/puzzle laid out there on the pResident's desk and said, Come On George I'll help you put these cornflakes back in the box.

GD, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3357468

OP by PretzelWarrior:

      ****BREAKING: Illuminati meet in Switzerland. They support Obama******
During a meeting of the Illuminati held at a secret location in Bern, Switzerland, the group voted and then sent word out that not only were they supporting Obama as president and leader of the free world, they felt Bush's damage to the world order could not stand unpunished.

Sensing the tide has completely turned against the previously swaggering president Bush, all formerly stalwart supporters such as Rupert Murdoch, Scott Mclellan and Laura Bush are officially off the GW Bush bandwagon. Sources tell us the Pentavurate passed the pipe and then brainstormed fates for Bush. It was finally agreed that Bush will be under house arrest in Crawford, Texas by mid 2009 to await further reprisals.

Grab the popcorn and watch as more rats flee the sinking ship all on 24 hour news cycles. Next up-- Karl Rove to announce he is volunteering to repent and serve penance as a community organizer in Miami, Florida.

response #1 by dwickham:

      Laura is a member of the Illuminati?
she's the brains behind that operation?

scary

response #7 by BushDespiser12:

      Just don't let her do the driving...

response #5 by TwoSparkles:

      I just asked my Ouija board...
...who our next President will be, and it spelled out E-R-I-C C-A-R-T-M-A-N.

It's best we all run and hide now!

GDP, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6177921

On a thread by Ichingcarpenter:

      John McCain's Daughter wears the same scarf as Rachael Ray

response #5 by Bucky:

      No, Rachael's scarf has more tassels. Everyone knows terrorists prefer tassels.
Ironically, if Rachael Ray wanted 72 virgins, she could just go meet with her fan club.

response #6 by Fridays Child:

      Miss McCain, tear down that scarf!

response #12 by Warpy:

      Not quite! McCain's daughter is wearing a real kaffiyeh
while Ray's scarf is paisley. I guess that means McCain has to start fighting terra in his own family first.

There was a real fashion rage in the 80s for the kaffiyeh worn as a neck scarf, especially in the frigid northeast. We knew it was made in the Middle East and we didn't give a shit. It was warm and it was beautiful and we wore it proudly.

Screaming about terrorism over a piece of cloth is as reprehensible as screaming one's patriotism over idolizing another.

Too bad it's summer and temperatures here in the desert are already in the 90s. I'd like to dig my kaffiyeh out and start wearing it, just to poke a stick into stupid people's faces.

response #24 by Z_I_Peevey:

      So I just did a Google image search for kaffiyeh
and found it described as as as "Jewish Israeli scarf" at a site called israelmilitary.com .

How am I supposed to reconcile THAT with the latest news that it's terror-wear? I'm so confused. I want a donut, a good old American donut, to ease my confusion. Is there no one in the fried dough business I can turn to in my hour of need?

response #25 by beac:

      I feel you, my fellow man in the breakfast wilderness! Cruller and unusual punishment indeed!
I guess we've learned that real 'Mericans scarf down their donuts, they don't wear scarves and hawk donuts.

Fire in the donut hole!

Where can I take my kaffiyeh break now???

Help, help my eyes are glazing over.... mmmmm chocolate glaze.....

It's time to Krispy Kreme the terra-ists with our Freedom Fried Dough!

(Ok, maybe I have had a little too much coffee and sugar. ;) )

GD, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3357476

On a thread by PeterU:

Does anyone know how to deal with grain weevils?

response #2 by raouldukelives:

In times like these
it's best to choose the lesser of two weevils.

The Lounge, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7777779

OP by ashling:

Scott McClellan to spend entire book advance on Security
Scott, here's a hint: Don't use anybody with "BLACK" or "WATER" in their name

Maybe you can get a referral from Ollie North.

response #9 by Breeze54:

McClellan just shown on CBS, leaving house with suitcases....
"Run, Scott, Run!!!" :P

GD, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3356236

OP by shomino:

      Sexiest Democrat?
Who do you think is the sexiest Democrat in the public eye? I know this is kind of out of the blue, but just something I thought would be fun to lighten up the mood around here. Democrats are typically a lot less uptight about sexuality so I hope this post isn't out of line. ;)

I would say my personal favorite so far is Elizabeth Kucinich.

She's extremely attractive, how the heck did Kucinich manage to get her to marry him? I mean don't get me wrong I think Kucinich is great, love the guy but he looks like Rumplestiltskin! Maybe he has the same magic powers... Maybe he IS Rumplestiltskin!

Who is your sexiest Democrat?

response #2 by AtomicKitten:

      Maybe Dennis' stature lies south of the border.
:D

response #9 by BlueDogDemocratNH:

      Jim Traficant

response #31 by panhead1961:

      My wife of course

response #42 by ShortnFiery:

      My compliments to your wife. She has trained you well ... as it should be.
:-) :hi:

response #62 by Mzztakable:

      Trained? hahahaha he was already like this right outta the box!
:hi:

And see below for some Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

GDP, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6170913

Poll question by midnight armadillo:

What are you going to do when the primaries are finished?
Now calm yourself, this is an entirely appropriate Lounge post that's not meant for GD :P. After polls close on June 3, what are you going to do to commemorate the most interesting* primary season of the past few decades?

* Using the "may you live in interesting times" meaning of "interesting".

Now vote one more time, and in this poll the rule is "vote early and vote often"! :party: :toast: :party: :beer:

:bluebox: Get royally stinking drunk on homebrew

:bluebox: Have sex

:bluebox: Have sex for the first time

:bluebox: Bark at the new moon

:bluebox: Sell bodily fluids to afford gas to get to a candidate's victory/concession rally

:bluebox: Resolve to name your next kid Hillary Barack or Barack Hillary

:bluebox: Hug a Repub in sympathy for the can of whoop-ass about to be opened on McCain

At press time, "Bark at the new moon" and "Sell bodily fluids to afford gas to get to a candidate's victory/concession rally" were tied with 33% of the votes each.

The Lounge, May 30, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7780354

OP by monomach:

      Obama needs to FIRMLY reject all black people, and all white people that like black people
Just thought I'd go ahead and translate all of these posts about that hilarious Holy Roman that spoke at Obama's church. A lot of people seemed confused.

Let's make this thread into a list of everything/everyone that Obama needs to immediately and firmly reject/renounce. We want to be prepared for the General Election, right?

response #1 by scheming daemons:

      ... and all white people that like Hip Hop..... or liked Motown.....
He should reject and renounce the NBA too.

response #3 by EmperorHasNoClothes:

      Obama should immediately reject and denounce Vanilla Ice.
Actually, we should all do that.

response #4 by LSK:

      OBAMA should renounce AND reject the entire human race

response #6 by PoliticalAmazon:

      And all people born in Hawaii! Don't forget them! n/t

response #11 by monomach:

      What about those latte liberal commies who were born elsewhere, but choose to live in Hawaii?
Like Magnum, PI?

response #7 by Scooter24:

      ...And the French!!
x(

:P

response #9 by Bucky:

      Especially Gerard Depardieu. Good gravy, that man's obnoxious!
In a perfect world, he'd still be doing time for "Green Card."

GDP, May 30, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6185513

On a thread by redqueen:

      Gotta be fake...
"MOUNTAIN VIEW

FRIDAY

Wal-Mart: Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trash can. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito."

:wtf:

response #1 by nomad1776:

      They both begin with the letter B
:evilgrin:

response #2 by DS1:

      Only a burrito? How dare they decry Baby Jesus Burrito as only a mere burrito
:nuke:

His mother the French Toast Virgin Mary must be right pissed

response #4 by BarenakedLady:

      That's Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary.
Jeeez...

A French Toast Virgin Mary would just be silly. I wouldn't even get that tattooed to my chest.

http://www.local10.com/news/9312515/detail.html

response #7 by MilesColtrane:

      ¿Yo Quiero Jesucristo?

response #14 by AchtungToddler:

      No, it was a real burrito and a real phone call
Whether or not I really believed it to be a baby when I made the call goes to my state of mind at the time...

:dunce:

response #16 by LanternWaste:

      Although I'd never say this to the parents
Although I'd never say this to the parents, half the babies I see look uncommonly like wrapped burritos with too much guacamole.

Granted, I don't like infants too much, but I LOVE burritos. So yeah-- I need therapy...

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

The Lounge, May 30, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7781327

OP by zulchzulu:

BREAKING: New allegations for Obama to defend regarding Trinity Unity Church!

OBAMA FACES NEW POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS TO PETTY CRIME AND SEXUAL AGGRESSION WITH CHICAGO CHURCH

UP - Chicago IL - Barack Obama could face new allegations concerning his ties to the Chicago Trinity Unity Church that he may need to apologize for.

According to some architectural experts in the Chicago area, the church has adornments directly tied to known marital cheater Frank Lloyd Wright. Wright was known to be a philanderer while designing odd looking buildings known for roof leaks and inability to withstand heavy tornado impacts. Harold Wolfson, with the Hillary Clinton campaign, said: "it appears that Frank (Lloyd Wright) was also known to have taken hallucinogens in his younger years in Arizona deserts and on frozen lakes in Dane County, Wisconsin."

The Obama campaign has not been alerted, yet provided no comment on the creations of a perverted drug user.

Additionally, many members who go to the Chicago Trinity Unity Church also have not paid their parking tickets in full, as would be expected with any true, loyal American citizen. Some members appear to have been also not diligent with cutting their lawns on a weekly basis. Terry McAulliffe, with the Hillary Clinton campaign, said: "members of the Church seem to be familiar with growing grass right in front of their neighbors, willingly causing possible mosquito population outbursts, thus endangering young children and family pets".

Again, the Obama campaign has not been alerted, yet provided no comment on the law-breaking from members of his church, which he has mentioned in several of his books.

To make matters worse, the church Obama belongs to uses the Dialectical Model, which is mirrored in W. E. B. Du Bois's concept of "double consciousness". Du Bois was known to have enjoyed Obama's company since he was a troublemaker who tried to inject controversial discussions about scholarship, propaganda, integration, national self-determination, human rights, cultural and economic separatism, politics, international communism, expatriation and third world solidarity.

The Obama campaign has not been alerted, yet provided no comment on these connections although some people say the white working class without a college education would be probably bored with such complicated subjects.

:sarcasm:

response #8 by rucky:

That Wright character is a menace!
Cantilevers are un-American!

response #26 by zulchzulu:

I'm sure a few people called Frank "Reverend" if ya catch my drift...

GDP, May 30, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6181833

More laughs here:

OP by Yael:

{DKos} Freepology Today: Obama with a Turbine on his Head

GDP, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6138716

And a group excursion down memory lane, with at least one person getting a little lost:
OP by DemoTex:

Who few here pre-date Will Pitt and me with our 5/2001 seniority dates at DU?

GD, May 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3354133

OP by QC:

      I HAVE NOW BEEN PUSHED BEYOND ALL ENDURANCE!!!
NOW I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO POST IN ALL CAPS!!!

AND WITH LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!

ALL MUST GAZE UPON MY RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION AND TREMBLE!!!!!

response #1 by Bluebear:

      Don't forget to say "FUCK" a lot and add 11111's.
Thank you :)

response #2 by QC:

      FUCK YOU!!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO EXPRESS MY OUTRAGE!!
I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I WAS THE INDIGNATION COORDINATOR FOR MY GREEN WORKER'S VEGAN PARTY CHAPTER AT COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!

response #4 by Bluebear:

      Really?? Get off OUR website!!! You bitch-appeasing lard-assed assassination enabler!!!!11
:crazy:

Obama is going to be the nominee, and the next President, if enough people spend this kind of um, passion, getting out the vote! :toast:

response #6 by QC:

      IF YOU DON'T STOP STALKING ME I WILL USE MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!
SEE MY ANGRY POWER!!!!

response #9 by Bluebear:

      Oh YEAH!?!?!?!?!!
:mad:
:mad:
:mad:
:puke: :puke: :mad: :mad:
:mad:
:mad:
:puke: :puke: :mad: :mad:
:mad:
:mad:
:puke: :puke: :mad:

response #10 by cbayer:

      BUT YOUR OUTRAGE IS FAUX111!!!111!!
WERE IT REAL, THERE WOULD BE SPITTLE AND FLAMES COMING OUT OF MY COMPUTER!!!!

YOU ARE NOT SCARING ME!!!!!

TRY HARDER11111

response #11 by QC:

      FUCK YOU YOU ARE JUST AN APPEASER!!!
WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE FOR THE PEOPLES REVOLUTION??? HUH? ANSWER ME THAT ONE, RUNNING DOG!!1!

response #12 by cbayer:

      IF I TOLD YOU I WOULD HAVE TO KILL YOU!!!!!
YOU WOULD CURRENTLY BE LIVING IN THE UNITED STATES OF CANADA AND BOWING DOWN TO THE QUEEN IF I HAD NOT INTERVENED ON YOUR BEHALF!!!

YOU FAT AND HAPPY WANNABE'S SHOULD BE SENDING ME GRATUITOUS GIFTS!!!

I PREFER THEM IN EUROS AT THIS TIME!!!!

response #13 by Midlodemocrat:

      OH, YEAH??? WELL, I'M RUNNING WITH SCISSORS!!! TAKETHAT, FUCKFACE.

response #24 by scarletwoman:

      You think THAT'S bad?
*I've* been forced to post all in html.

Try closing brackets when you're seething with anger -- it ain't easy, I tell ya.

:P

response #28 by QC:

      I WOKE UP ENRAGED AGAIN THIS MORNING!1!11!!1!! N/T

response #29 by ithinkmyliverhurts:

      bizarro e.e cummings

response #31 by nxylas:

      If this thread doesn't get a DUzy award, I'm organizing a DUzy protest
With pots and pans. Who's with me?

response #36 by bigtree:

      I'VE COMPLETELY LOST ALL RESPECT FOR CAPS!!
CAPS ARE FUCKING LIARS!!!

response #37 by RichardRay:

      LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET, CONSECTETUER
ADIPISCING ELIT. DUIS A NUNC ET MASSA VOLUTPAT MALESUADA!!!1!!1!! SED AC ELIT. NAM PLACERAT RISUS VIVERRA NUNC. MAECENAS IACULIS LECTUS. QUISQUE ULLAMCORPER. VIVAMUS LOREM ORCI, CONSECTETUER A, VIVERRA LUCTUS, IMPERDIET ID, LIGULA. CURABITUR RUTRUM. CUM SOCIIS NATOQUE PENATIBUS ET MAGNIS DIS PARTURIENT MONTES, NASCETUR RIDICULUS MUS.!!!1!!1!! PRAESENT ALIQUET DICTUM METUS. MAECENAS ODIO LOREM, DIGNISSIM EGET, PULVINAR UT, VOLUTPAT IN, DUI. FUSCE SCELERISQUE RUTRUM SAPIEN. NUNC UT NEQUE. SUSPENDISSE MALESUADA LIBERO IN PURUS. VESTIBULUM ID SAPIEN A AUGUE!!!1!!1!! PLACERAT ORNARE. DONEC ID JUSTO. NULLA SEM. INTEGER VESTIBULUM LIGULA. CRAS ELIT LOREM, VEHICULA UT, VOLUTPAT LAOREET, ADIPISCING SIT AMET, NEQUE.

response #50 by boppers:

      You must be a something-ist.
Your outrage betrays your bias.

response #39 by Elrond Hubbard:

      i'm so angry i broke my caps lock key and must post in all lowercase from now on.
but you can feel my anger seething large beneath the tiny letters.

response #54 by Elspeth:

      I'm sure if you adjust your hearing aid, you'll be ok.
:)

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6098549

OP by The Magistrate:

      God-Damned Primaries Forum: I Just Had To Say It, Ladies And Gentlemen
Back to frying the steaks now....

response #3 by Midlodemocrat:

      You mean GD-cesspool? Stay out of there fer cryin' out loud.
It's bad for one's health.

response #4 by The Magistrate:

      It Is My Beat, Ma'am: I Do Not Just Have To Read It, I Have To Read The Alerts On It....
"If all the world had a single neck, I'd hack it through!"

response #8 by GloriaSmith:

      It's a war zone in there
Come to us when you need to. We'll patch you up, feed and hydrate you, and gently send you back in. :(

At this rate, the lounge will need to build a memorial wall for our fallen moderators. :cry:

response #11 by The Magistrate:

      Today Is Extra Special, Ma'am
I had been intending to seek the quiet of the Israel v. Palestine for some rest and relaxation when someone spoke into a microphone....

"When constabulary duty's to be done, a policeman's lot is not an 'appy one."

response #95 by Forkboy:

      LOL...you know it's bad when one longs for the I/P Forum.
I posted a bit in GD-P yesterday when things broke, figured I was too hot, and took the day off. Watched a couple movies (3:10 To Yuma and Syriana) and read a book.

To quote Wilford Brimley from The Thing, "Look, I feel much better now and I'm not going to hurt anybody."

response #61 by rug:

      It's pretty bad when even the GDP mods have to escape to the Lounge.

response #68 by The Magistrate:

      Cop In a Doughnut Shop, Sir
Once, eating in a Mexican restaurant down the block, there was a cop sitting to his free dinner in the next booth, and all of a sudden his radio came up loud announcing someone under arrest in the district station had produced a sawed-off shot-gun from somewhere on his person and was now loose on the city. We both said "Somebody really fucked up" at the same moment, and the guy stood up and headed out to his squad car....

response #71 by Unvanguard:

      It IS rather insane in there tonight.
It's all a bit surreal to me... while I fulfill my quota of Leftist Infighting, it's generally not about presidential candidates.

At least people aren't throwing "petit-bourgeois" around....

response #72 by The Magistrate:

      It was Always Hard For Me To Appreciate, Sir, In Studying The Spanish Civil War
Just what was in the minds of the people in the various left parties who engaged one another rather than the Franco columns.

It has now become quite understandable....

"We've got the 18th of July again!"

response #73 by GardeningGal:

      Thank you for your service to our country.....er..to our forum.....n/t

response #79 by The Magistrate:

      I Only Do It For Fun, Ma'am
Best not to enquire too closely into what I find fun....

The Lounge, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7762822

On a locked thread:

      CHALLENGE TO MODS: IF ANYONE IS CRITICAL OF HILL OR BAMA THEY WILL BE BANNED

response #25 by rasputin1952

      Challenge taken...Goodbye
Former member is now bush's footstool in hells porta-potty.

Link included on this one. Savor some of the other responses.

GDP, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6167353

On a thread by GoPsUx:

      Rec this thread if you believe General Discussion: Primaries

response #1 by The Magistrate

response #10 by chimpsrsmarter

response #14 by baldguy

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6097696

OP by FlyingSquirrel:

      And now for something completely different.

response #1 by Bucky

response #3 by smokey nj

response #4 by RUMMYisFROSTED

response #8 by phrigndumass

response #12 by ithinkmyliverhurts

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6095518

OP by rug:

      An artistic interlude to refresh our souls.

response #4 by BushDespiser12

response #6 by Mooney

GDP, May 23, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6099451

OP by needledriver:

      I mean it!!!!1!!1!!! THis is the last straw!!!!!@@!

response #4 by shraby

response #6 by JohnnyLib2

response #11 by HypnoToad

response #20 by nichomachus

response #8 by Spazito

GDP, May 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6120399

On a thread by Gilligan:

      Help Me Find The Right Words For This Picture ---- IT'S CAPTION TIME!

response #5 by madeline_con

response #6 by BerryBush

response #17 by Tab

GD, May 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3340655

On a thread by The Straight Story:

      Fla. Man Selling Ghosts trapped in bottles

response #7 by NightWatcher

response #39 by tomeboy

GD, May 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3339267

OP by Husb2Sparkly:

      I wore this tee shirt today and got more positive comments than I ever imagined.

GD, May 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3340654

OP by unhappycamper:

      New picture for chimpy collectors

response #1 by av8rdave

response #2 by Solly Mack

response #3 by dicksteele

responses #6 & #8 by Riddler

response #9 by danagsk8

response #7 by Hailtothechimp

GD, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3341698

On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci:

      Photo Gallery: Meet new Honorary Rolling Thunder member George W. Bush

response #1 by JoeIsOneOfUs

response #2 by Prisoner_Number_Six

response #3 by Liberal Veteran

response #4 by Fiendish Thingy

response #13 by lpbk2713

response #16 by MisterP

response #23 by Vickers

GD, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3342115

On a thread by the late Philipsanchez:

      Obama: McCain's age should not be an issue (says McCain is healthy)

response #1 by Swamp Rat

GD, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6136233

On a thread by JohnnyLib2:

      Help! It's a long weekend and I'm low on faux outrage.

response #2 by Ptah

response #6 by JohnnyLib2

The Lounge, May 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7768593

On a thread by Kadie:

      * 'jokingly makes a face' - pics

response #1 by aint_no_life_nowhere

response #4 by seasat

response #10 by Ghost in the Machine

response #12 by GloriaSmith

GD, May 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3353698

OP by Bluebear:

      My soothing advice to the WH regarding McClellan: "Don't worry! IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE....

GD, May 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3352150

OP by Botany:

      DU has gotten weird just look @ this post

response #1 by sfexpat2000

response #3 by petronius

response #12 by msedano

response #14 by bleever

response #15 by Hissyspit

response #16 by ColbertWatcher

response #18 by csziggy

response #20 by Pigwidgeon

response #21 by krispos42

response #24 by temperancedissent

GD, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3355663

On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci:

      Photo: Jenna & Henry's Hawaiian Honeymoon

response #1 by bob_weaver

response #3 by undeterred

response #4 by no_hypocrisy

response #5 by wtmusic

response #7 by YOY

response #8 by MuseRider

response #9 by mitchum

response #17 by notadmblnd

response #19 by Lex

response #21 by Geoff R. Casavant

response #26 by Swamp Rat

GD, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3358569

On a thread by BL611:

      What should John McCain's GE slogan be?

response #5 by faygokid

responses #14 & #16 by beat tk

response #23 by Forkboy

response #31 by Aya Reiko

GDP, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6172963

On a thread by shomino:

      Sexiest Democrat?

response #4 by newmajority

response #37 by ShortnFiery

GDP, May 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6170913

On a thread by redqueen:

      Gotta be fake...

response #12 by krispos42

The Lounge, May 30, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7781327