I plan on using boiling oil to keep the poor out of my castle, how bout you?

[Philosoraptor]

I have a very large moat, filled with snakes, and I have lots of weaponry on the turrets of the castle to keep off the rabble and the poor who will seek succor and shelter from the plague and famine about to come.

I've had some dealings with these types, and I am quite prepared to maintain my status quo.

[dipsydoodle]

1. You missed out a stock of dead cows

to throw from the ramparts.

[cliffordu]

43. I got most of them for my catapult. ....Um....Cowapult.

[Solly Mack]

2. I've got armed guards at my gate

(that's actually true)

[rpannier]

3. I'm presently trying to find the formula for soylent green

I think this is a win-win idea.

Provides food for the starving masses and clears up space for the mausoleum I'm having built for myself that will be visible from Mars.

By-the-way, I'm assuming your moat is the customary 14' wide x 18' deep.

Don't forget the covered pits in front of the moat with the sharpened poles in them.

It cuts down on the numbers actually making it to the moat.

[Lasher]

4. Constantina wire and land mines here.

Backed up by small arms fire from the house, of course.

[Jamastiene]

5. I'm in the lab working on a suit to

defeat defensive boiling oil, snakes, and alligators in moats.

My ass is poor and I cannot swim. So, roll me in corn flakes, get your spatula ready, and man the lifeboats. I'm coming in.

:evilgrin:

[El Pinko]

6. I have an asbestos umbrella.

...and I WILL have your stuff.


}(

[Philosoraptor]

7. You have only forced me to taunt you a second time.

[old mark]

8. We are working on a deal to buy large numbers of smallpox-

infested blankets, and hand them out as needed.

mark

[MichaelHarris]

9. I'm going

to hire Christopher Walken, he scares the shit out of everyone.

[Philosoraptor]

11. He makes a good Hessian

[anarch]

45. here is Walken's entire script for that movie:

"Aaaaargh! Grrrrr!"

"Hisssss"

"Raaaargh!"

[youthere]

40. Tom Cruise scares me more.

[Double T]

10. I saw peasants, serfs and peons with catapults and fiberglass canoes..........

heading toward your castle. They mentioned something about freedom frying the King of the Castle in his own oil.

[Philosoraptor]

12. I can't have the scrufulous scummy serfs stinking up my sanctuary.

[Double T]

14. Better get out the clothes pins and breath through your mouth.

[asteroid2003QQ47]

18. Dupe, Laptop burped. n/t

[asteroid2003QQ47]

19. BRING OUT THE DEAD, BRING OUT THE DEAD.

We peasants will have no shortage of emaciated corpses to
catapult over his precious fucking moat into his castle.
----------------------------------------------------------

Hopper: Let this be a lesson to all you ants! Ides are very dangerous things! You are mindless, soil-shoving losers, put on this Earth to serve us!
Flik: You're wrong, Hopper. Ants are not meant to serve grasshoppers. I've seen these ants do great things, and year after year they somehow manage to pick enough food for themselves and you. So who is the weaker species? Ant's don't serve grasshoppers! It's you who need us! We are a lot stronger than you say we are...
And you know it, don't you?
--A BUG'S LIFE

[billyoc]

13. Good to know.

[rucky]

15. I'll just continue to pretend they don't exist.

[Blarch]

16. I'm using hollow points.

[asteroid2003QQ47]

23. Couldn't get "depleted" uranium ammo? Poor you. n/t

[Sabriel]

17. I'm going to put mine in substandard schools and test them unfairly

While that's beating them down, I'm going to cut their health care, winter heating assistance, and food bank funding. They'll be so dispirited and weak that they'll be unable to scale the walls.

(edited for finger glitch)

[asteroid2003QQ47]

21. Not that! Couldn't you just give us more religion instead?

“Religion is what keeps the poor man from murdering the rich”
--Napoleon Bonaparte

You are too cruel, Sabriel!

[lunatica]

20. I'm stearing clear of everyone on this thread

:scared:

[fla nocount]

22. A Chuck Norris cut-out atop the ramparts. That should do it. n/t

[shadowknows69]

24. I can release the hounds

Ok, only one hound, and she'll probably just run to the closest source of food or a comfortable nap, but she'll be intimidating for a second if she howls first. She has the kind of howl that sets off a chain reation of every other dog within five miles. It occasionally breaks windows and knocks things off shelves too.

[dysfunctional press]

25. a 12-gauge, a 30.06, and the glock for close quarters...

let'em try.

[Burma Jones]

26. I'm using camouflage

My house looks like absolute shit from the outside......




But Inside:




Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

[shadowknows69]

28. 314 something street, somewhere, USA

I'll find you and your pretty things will be mine MU HAW HAW HAW HAW!

[Burma Jones]

30. You can take anything you want, but NOT my portraits of Archduke Cletus and King Myron

The chairs are damned uncomfortable anyway

[Philosoraptor]

33. You simply MUST give me the name of your decorator.

[Burma Jones]

38. Mr. D.P. Gumby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNFZuPYSquY

[mod mom]

27. I'm throwing champagne bottles at the servants, then having them embed the shards atop the 15 ft

wall (in front of the razor wire) that surrounds my compound. Of course, I have packs of pit bulls surrounding the wall so they can't even get near it.

I have my pilot flying overhead dragging a banner reading "let them eat cake".

[Philosoraptor]

34. Catapulting the dead at their flimsy siege towers is most efficacious

[InkAddict]

29. Written in the sky - REMEMBER DOROTHY!

The lion, tinman, and scarecrow walked right into the castle of the Wicked Witch of the West - Toto too! Now where's the water bucket and my pretty shoes.

[ThomWV]

31. My problem is the rabble keep hurling dead cats over the walls

[pipi_k]

32. I'm bringing back the Disco Era

All that polyester!!

and those platform shoes!!!


The raging hordes will be powerless against such weaponry, but in case a few make it through, I'll tie up the survivors and force them to listen to endless loops of Rick Dees singing "Disco Duck"

[shadowknows69]

35. You cruel bastard!

[pipi_k]

37. The gloves are off, baby...

muwahahahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!


:evilgrin:

[garlicmilkshake]

36. Cake. Lots of cake, as in let them eat it.

:evilgrin:

[youthere]

39. Are you crazy? Have you seen the price of oil lately?

[mod mom]

41. a mere pittance to us who burn currency instead of firewood.

;)

[Fleshdancer]

42. I plan on singing bad pop songs off key. Loudly.

That should keep 'em away. :D

[Philosoraptor]

44. So....you ARE Madonna...

[madokie]

46. naw, my plan is a 45 to hold back the rich folks

They gonna get mighty hungry when the chips fall

[Philosoraptor]

47. ............

[Marrah_G]

48. I plan to hurl insults at them from the walls in a bad French accent !