My sister just told us she has had a positive biopsy of her breast

[babydollhead]

[pnwmom]

1. I'm so sorry, babydollhead. How is she dealing with it?

And how are you feeling?

[calimary]

2. Hugs and solidarity - get her treated straight away!

These things can be handled.

[opihimoimoi]

3. If its early enough....odds look extremely good these days...my wife was diagnosed 14 years ago

2 operations, 3 chemo session over the years and she is still with me...and radiation 3 times too...its a bitch but the odds look good compared to 20 years ago...

Keep the Faith and see the Kahuna every Year...

[Lex]

4. I have to say I know plenty of women who are living cancer-free after

a bout with breast cancer, surgery, and radiation. Lots of advancement in fighting this. Sending good and healing thoughts to your sister.

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. *hugs* I'm sending out healing vibes her way

[Uben]

6. Any more?

Did she say what the pathology told them? Lobular? Ductile? Invasive? In Situ? Stage?

Sorry to hear of the diagnosis, but they have made great strides in the treatment of breast cancer. My wife is a 6 1/2 yr survivor of invasive ductile carcinoma. She had a mastectomy and reconstruction. No chemo, no radiation, and no maintenace drugs (her choice), and she is doing great!

I know these are scary times for her. Those of us who have lived through it can sympathize, but there is good reason to also be optimistic about treatment. Join us at the cancer forum here. There are folks there who can help answer questions.

She is in my prayers.

[Obamarama]

7. One of the best things she can do right now is this:

She should get a small notebook or tablet of paper and start writing down questions she wants to ask her health care provider(s) at what will probably be several upcoming appointments. She should write down the simple, straight forward questions as well as the more complex ones.

If you go into these appointments with them in your head, you're likely to forget one or two or more as you're under stress. As soon as a question pops into her head that she'd like to ask, she should write it down.

When she goes to the appointment she should take a digital voice recorder or small cassette recorder and tape the appointment. Any health care provider worth their salt should not be threatened by this. That way, she can go back and replay it if she has any questions later on about exactly what the provider told her. Your head is swimming with stress and fear in these appointments and you're likely to inadvertantly block out or not totally focus on something that's being said.

If there's something she doesn't understand, she needs to keep asking.

Best of luck to your sister. Do you have any indication as to how early it might have been detected?

[Triana]

8. Oh no. Lots of advances in recent years in treatment. I wish her the best - a quick recovery and..

...NO return of the nasty. She should get treatment ASAP. I hope they caught it early.

[Raven]

9. I have just been through this with a friend. Here is what you should do.

Get a second opinion. I don't know what hospital she was at but if it is not one of the major cancer centers, she needs to get to one. My friend was diagnosed with a rare cancer in both breasts and both turned out wrong. She got a second opinion at Dana Farber in Boston and it was one breast and not rare. It makes a real difference! Tell her to get a second opinion. If her Doc balks at that, he/she is not worth the time or the trust!

[zazen]

17. Maybe get a third. I only had two & they both screwed up (incl Duke.) If it's in situ,

try to get an opinion from David Page at Vanderbilt. He's the foremost expert in the world on non to early invasive breast cancer.

[aquart]

10. Let her talk.

She's processing so much right now. We're all full of advice to give her. You be the one who listens. When she stops for a breath, help her find ways to feel in control of her life again, which is going to be the hardest thing because she's competing with such a pushy disease.

[zazen]

18. Great advice. And ASK her about it. My mom/sis have yet to ask me what my mastectomy was like--

I think they think they should never bring it up, that asking about it is traumatic. But it's more traumatic to feel like people want it to go away. At least, try to follow her lead.

I never understood this until I had breast cancer and experienced it from the other side, but when people don't acknowledge the reality of your loss, fear and grief, it's as if they're acting like that part of you is already dead. I know I was guilty of this, esp with women with mets, like they were sort of not there. I didn't mean to be insensitive. I just didn't know what to say and figured they didn't want me asking about it. I remember wincing when our group counselor actually said out loud to this 35-year-old mother of two, well, so ______, you're dealing with end-of-life issues. I thought, "Oh My God. Don't say THAT!" (like she didn't KNOW she was dying. Duh.) But that was ridiculous of course. The worse thing we could do was pretend it wasn't happening.

I hope that they have caught this early with your sister. Remember, chemo is no longer automatic. Please support her in getting state of the art advice. Many hospitals will just provide treatment consistent with what technology they have. I hate that anyone has to settle for that.

[aquart]

20. Are they in the Midwest?

On my best friend's last trip home to Ohio, he came back early because no one, not one person had asked about the disease that was killing him. He was incensed. We reminded him that he'd been in New York a really long time and New Yorkers just up and ask the rudest most personal questions. The people back home do not. They were waiting for him to bring it up. He railed a while longer and then forgave them.

[zazen]

21. the South--thanks for the info on your best friend. It's validating.

[liberalmuse]

11. I'm sorry.

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. It was caught early, even though the lump was rather large, but it is still very scary. She had surgery, but has opted out of chemo and I must respect that decision. She seems to be doing fine, but I'm still nervous it will return.

I wish all the best for your sister and send thoughts of hope and peace your way.
:hug:

[babydollhead]

12. thank you, everybody

She is 52, and on Thursday they'll do a lumpectomy and see how her lymph nodes are. Her husband died 5 years ago from colon cancer and she met her current husband on a grief chat line, whose wife had died of breast cancer. These two just got married last September and a quaking in their boots. She had a breast reduction about 8 years ago. They found this, it's very small. The ramifications of the word cancer, come tumbling first. I am here for her. There are five sisters in my family and she can lean on us. Today the gong has sounded. Today we are awake to the fragility and uncertainty of life. Last night she told me, "I try to read what you write, but since I'm not high, I don't get it." Today, her words would slide off of my back. Weird how a day and with it, news, can change so much. Thank you all. I mean it.

[MannyGoldstein]

13. It's Very Helpful To Contact People Who Can Help Navigate

A lot of difficult decisions will have to be made, and there's a lot of crappy information in the world. Most doctors know their own area, but don't understand all of the pieces involved in managing this situation. Best to get some experienced experts on your side.

My sister, who had breast cancer, works for Cancer Lifeline in Seattle, and they really know their stuff. She started working there after she was astonished to find how incredibly difficult it was to get good quality information and good help for such a common disease - and my sister graduated from Harvard and Berkeley (PhD), and has a close friend who's an oncologist! She couldn't imagine what it would be like for people without her resources.

Even if you're not in Seattle, it may not hurt to call them to get a referral to a similar organization near your sister.

Good luck!

[babydollhead]

14. and we have Gilda's Clubhouse here, in Pittsburgh

[MannyGoldstein]

15. Excellent

Use it early and often!

Again, good luck!

[applegrove]

16. Vibes.

[helderheid]

19. I'm so sorry :(

[reflection]

22. Be strong for her.

It's gonna get rough.