The Reel Adventures of Robinson Opihi

[Hubert Flottz]

I was walking around on my boat dock down behind my house on the riverbank today, when an empty looking half gallon Jim Beam bottle came floating up and I saw upon closer inspection what looked like a tiny scrap of paper inside. I grabbed the boat hook and fished out the bottle and quickly unscrewed the lid and to my astonishment it was a tiny but handwritten note from none other than the Opihi...that's right...that same beloved Opihi that has gone missing from DU for over two weeks.

I began to read the note and to my sad surprise I found out that our friend from across the pond has been captured by the freeper hordes and is being held captive on a brushy chigger infested dude ranch that he said smells something like Dave Vitter, Unpumped Porta-potties, eight year old pig poop, eight year old moran drool and eight year old Jim Beam vomit. He said he overheard one of the freeper guards say something about going into Crawford for some Skoal and Mad Dog, so he thinks he might be somewhere in Texas inside a steel box.

He said he only gets out one hour a day to get some exercise sharpening chainsaw chains, cleaning drool cups and digging rubber fishing worms. then the note seemed to run out of paper so I turned it over and on the back was one big word....HELP!

He said more bottles were on the way...

[annabanana]

1. (keep us posted)

Poor opihi. .

[Hubert Flottz]

2. Will do...

[JeffR]

3. Any new stimulus package has to include this as a priority.

Free Opihi!

[Hubert Flottz]

4. I hope they aren't playing Rush and Ann Coulter tapes 24/7

and making him look at nekkkid pictures of Ma Bush!

[Hubert Flottz]

5. I'll keep pork chops cooking out back on the grill just in case

the Opihi breaks out and needs a vector and quick snack after his frightful mis-adventure.

Pork Chops is the only bacon of freedom left in this area.

[Hekate]

6. Say it ain't so, Opi! He was s'posed to be having a major luau in celebration!

Keep us posted.

Hekate

[Hubert Flottz]

7. Opihi is having PC problems...

I know how he feels I just went through the same kind of deal a couple of weeks ago. The word is that the Opihi will be back shortly.