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In January, 2009, Barack Obama was handed the keys to the family sedan. It had four worn out and totally flat tires...
He consulted the most capable mechanics in the land. Their consensus was that he should buy four new tires. A few suggested that it would also be prudent to keep a fifth tire on hand as a spare, but the President rejected their counsel because he knew he would have a hard enough time drumming up bipartisan support for the four tire plan. Signalling his willingness to compromise, Obama suggested a "three or four tire" plan...
The Republicans howled at the mere thought of such extravagance. "Tax and spend, tax and spend, commie pinko plot," they chanted. They came back with a one tire plan, grimly reminding everyone that tires were not free and one tire was surely better than none. In the ensuing public debate, talking heads on CNN and MSNBC noted that the additional weight of tires might actually slow the car down. Commentators on CNBC and the Speed Network suggested that, perversely, a car with four good tires would lead to more driving around and increased dependence on imported oil. On another network, John McCain made the fair and balanced point that the Earth is flat but tires are round...
Storm clouds gathered on the horizon and the new administration's prospects were looking mighty bleak until three visionary Republicans broke ranks with their party and brokered a compromise: the two tire plan...
Postscript: fast forward to 2010. The family car is still going nowhere. The Republicans run on the "I told you so" platform and a disillusioned electorate votes the spendthrift Democratic bastards out of office. The two new tires, having been proved useless, are sold for scrap and the family sedan debate begins anew. Obama's advisers suggest a four cinder block plan...
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