I am going to admit something that will probably get me branded a monster.

[Pacifist Patriot]

There are days I wish I had never had children.

I am not talking about the days when they are being particularly bratty. Or the days I have to forego something I would prefer to do because I have the obligation to take them somewhere. Or the days I am sick and can barely drag myself out of bed to handle routine parenting duties. Or the nights I'd rather be sleeping but they have other ideas.

I love my children and would be devastated if I lost them. They are all precious. But there are days I literally grieve for what I have brought them into and what they will be facing in the future. I have been reading the Daniel Quinn books which have the power to depress and uplift at the same time.

And then I wake up to this.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7951838.stm

More dire news about my children's future and more of the same hubris that thinks we can fix it by trying to subdue this planet and its resources rather than change our way of thinking and consequently our behavior.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. You're not a monster

just a realist. I chose not to have children because of my concern about the world to come.

[el_bryanto]

2. The Scientist making that warning seems to be in favor of genetically modified food

Interesting conundrum.

Bryant

[Wickerman]

3. When I think of the future, I pity all children

we've made quite a mess for them to live with.

You're no monster. :hug:

In the past there is always a portion of the population that would fell the same as they think of the new generation; I think we have actually reached the point where stuff isn't going to be the same or better, but worse.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

4. I chose not to have children because the future looked too grim.

I'm 58 now and I feel I made the right decision.

[dysfunctional press]

15. we made the same decision...

and we're 10 years younger.

[Believing Is Art]

5. I'm not a parent, but I imagine many do and should feel the same way right now

Considering the mess left by the last, well, 30 years really, I don't think I'd wish the suffering that many of us will face on my worst enemy, much less someone I loved.

Hopefully they will grow up into people who can help solve our problems.

[C......N......C]

6. Your children might be the solution.

[Fire1]

18. Exactly. Encourage them to be part of the solution and not

the problem.

[cali]

7. Not me.

The future is always uncertain. Parents have always had the concerns you do. The future will hold what it holds.

[The_Commonist]

8. You're a monster, all right!

Kinda like this guy:

[tom_paine]

9. It is a good time to be old. It is a bad time to be young.

It is as simple as that.

[TexasObserver]

10. You're not a monster. You are being too negative and fearful, however.

The future of your children is brighter than the future seen by 95% of the children who have ever lived on this planet. You are allowing worries to overshadow the reality that having children and raising them is the biological purpose of our being here. We will get by, and so will your children.

Things are not that bad. They looked a lot worse in the days when we worried about nuclear war with the USSR.

Spend more time with the kids and less time worrying the state of the world. We can do little about the big problems in the world, but we can make any day special for our kids simply by giving them our undivided attention.

I understand your concern, but want to encourage you to worry less about the big picture and focus on the small one - your family. That's what really matters, and in 20 years your kids will be worrying about the same world problems you are worrying about now, but they'll have your lifetime of love and teaching to help them get by.

I have three kids in their mid 20s, and I worried too much about the world I brought them into, but I managed to get it right about focusing my energies on spending time with them on everything they did - school work, extra curricular, team sports, popular culture, and just plain old having fun. I had to learn that I could only incrementally change the world by worrying about the big picture, but I could do real good simply by investing much of my life in my kids. Now it's their turn to worry about this world they're bringing their children into.

[shireen]

21. respectfully, you're too optimistic

When they were young, you didn't have to worry as much about global warming, the looming energy, water, and food crisis, the financial decimation of this world, and overwhelming debt for future generations.

I don't have kids, and if i did, I'd go insane with worry. As it is i worry so much about my nieces and nephews and friends' children, even the kids of total strangers. I will gladly pay more in taxes to see these kids get a better education and quality of life.

When the kids are already here, the only way to get through it is to focus on family and try not to worry about the big picture, what you said. You have no choice because being focused on the big picture is too overwhelming for anyone to bear.

I wish more people were as aware as you and the OP ... the world would be a kinder, healthier, more just place.

[TexasObserver]

26. I can remember thinking the same thing 35 years ago.

I can recall vividly wondering in the mid 1970s whether it made any sense to bring children into this world. We were already worried about the environment. Recycling trash was almost impossible then. It was in its earliest stages.

But as time marched on, we survived, and I began to realize that having kids was a good idea, no matter what the future holds. I'm glad I did. Children are the joy of life. And now, grandkids are the joy of life.

Many of my worries have come true, but many have passed away with time and been replaced with new ones. I think most parents realize that being a parent is the most rewarding thing life has to offer. That joy is simply like no other. I would do it all again, every dirty diaper, every tantrum, every upchuck, every bobo.

[Warpy]

11. I don't know a parent out there who hasn't felt like this

about their kids and I think it's probably existed all through time, whenever things got tough.

Life is what it is and we can't guarantee anyone a lifetime of health, wealth and comfort. Teach your kids to see it all as an adventure instead of a chore and you'll have done your job correctly.

After all, no one can tell the future. We can predict a few things based on history, but that's as clear as the crystal ball ever gets. Even Nostradamus hedged his bets by creating his verses largely in gibberish.

Remember, the people you're reading don't know any more than the rest of us do. The future they see won't come to pass any more than the future you see on your best days, that of your children dutifully following your own life pattern and turning out just like you, only richer.

[juno jones]

12. You are not a monster.

My oldest is 18 now.

I was optimistic. He was born at the end of Bush 1 and his brothers at the beginning of the Clinton years. I'd survived the Reagan/ Bush years, we had a dem in office, I mean how bad could it get?

I love them and I could never concieve the reality of losing them, but damn, sometimes I wish I hadn't brought them here.

[eShirl]

13. Now that they're here, you can teach them things they'll need to know in that future.

Especially love and compassion.

[patrice]

14. I Remember - when it felt like Love wasn't enough, you also need some Hope, but sometimes Hope feels

like a Lie.

I'm with Cormac McCarthy on this problem, as he describes it in The Road: Our task is to go forward for Love, to go forward in spite of the fact that we don't know where we're going or what for, in spite of EVERYTHING that we have lost, in spite of the horrors around us, in spite of Evil, in spite of our own Weakness, in spite of the Dark, in spite of Pain, in spite of ____________________ . . . .

We know Why we are to go forward; we are to go forward for Love - AND FOR NOTHING ELSE - because there never really was or ever has been anything else that is Real, except Love. We are to go forward for Love all of the way to the very last edge of the end of the world and, there, we will meet other Lovers.

Om naham Shivaya! Pacifist Patriot.

[leftchick]

16. I hear you

there are many times these days I feel the same way. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of their future. And we went through 5 years of infertility treatment to have them!

:cry:

[Lost in CT]

17. Could have been worse you could have had them during the 30's

or 40's or 60' or 70's.....

[seabeyond]

19. power of now. there are just some things that make no sense in experiencing the pain

now when it sits in the future of may/may not happen.

power of now, wink. make it the best. be happy. smile. laugh, love

[LeftishBrit]

20. It's a big worry; but looking back, I daresay our parents sometimes wished they'd never had children

because of the very real-seeming danger that we'd all be blown to bits before we ever grew up :nuke:

It didn't happen - well, not yet. Maybe we'll prevent these disasters too.

[KittyWampus]

22. funny, people have been predicting this EXACT same "perfect storm" for at least 50 years

[L0oniX]

23. This is why I never had children. n/t

[pipi_k]

24. If you're a monster, then so am I

because I've thought the same things.

What kind of world did I bring them into?

It gets especially bad when one of them is in emotional or physical pain. It happened when they were young, it still happens, even though my son is 38 and my daughter is 36.

And they have children themselves, so now it's twice as bad...I've (unwittingly) inflicted a lot of the world's pain on two generations that wouldn't be here if I hadn't had children in the first place.

Sometimes my heart just aches so much. I try to turn it around and hope that whatever pain they have had, and will go through, is more than balanced by the joy of being alive.


Of course, I also deal with chronic (and sometimes acute) bouts of depression, so maybe that has something to do with how I feel about it all.

but no....you're not a monster, IMO.

[Hannah Bell]

25. he's lying. he works for the people who want to own & patent everything,

& kill you to sustain their profit margins.

[HughBeaumont]

27. 2030? It's gonna happen SOON!

Famine, despair and lots of itching. COUNT on it!

:rofl:

I'm convinced teh doom 'n' gloom puts asses in the seats.

I don't know how I'm going to pay for this one's college. Part time jobs and savings are only going to get him so far; and I'm sorry, college costs are only going to go up, unlike American wages.