I just had to help hubby take his best friend to the hospital for psych/alcohol/suicide

[greenbriar]

he has been staying with us for over a year, his drinking has become WORSE by far, this last week he has not even gone to work. He has drank for over 5 days solid. All he has been doing is drinking and sleeping. Today, he told hubby if he could have found one of hubbys guns, he would have shot himself in the head.

I told hubby it was time to do something. (I have been thinking it was time for a while, but hubby balked)

After 3 hours in the ER intake room, he was finally admitted for eval and hubby is still there, it could be another 2 hours before we know what is going to happen.



The good news: Hubby has completely sworn off drinking all together...We saw a LOT of shit in the waiting room and once we got back to the "psych/alcohol area we saw and heard much more...


WOW I know it is a cruel world, but I am so sheltered. We didn't even know who to call or what to do. We just got the phone book out and started making calls.

I don't know what is going to happen now, but I know that he can't come back here

[OhioChick]

1. The both of you did the right thing....

I wish your husband's friend the very best.

:hug:

[Tommy_J]

2. My sympathies --

That is a TOUGH situation

:hug:

[midnight]

3. Thank you for taking care of this man and calling him a friend.

[peace13]

4. Peace and energy to you and your husband.

Life continues to test us. You did good. Thanks for caring. Peace, Kim

[TBF]

5. ((Hugs)) I worked as a psych tech right after college for a couple

of years. It's an eye-opening experience to be sure. You did the best you could for your husband's friend, and now hopefully he will accept some help. Take care.

[greenbriar]

6. do you know what happens now?

They took his clothes and took him to another part of the hospital for evaluation?

then maybe somewhere else?

not sure what happens next

[TBF]

10. They have to detox/evaluate him. They probably have enough from

your statements to hold him a day or two, particularly with the suicide threats. I don't remember the particular laws, and my experience was 20 years ago (in Virginia), but there are laws that spell out how long he can be involuntarily committed. They'll safely detox him (there are meds to help with that). He should be in their ER getting good care right now. They'll have someone sitting with him or checking on him very frequently.

The harder part will come in a few days if/when he wants to sign himself out. Without criminal charges I doubt they can hold him (I'm not a lawyer, there are probably some legal eagles on here who could give you some more detail on that part of it).

[greenbriar]

11. If they don't take him right to rehab, I am afraid he won't do it

I think it took all he had tonight to get this far

[TBF]

13. They may do that. I worked in a private psychiatric hospital - not

a general hospital. We took people and detoxed them, and sometimes took them straight from the police car. One of my very first patients was a big psychotic guy, all doped up, outside his ex-wife's house shooting. Police brought him directly to us and did at least a 48-hour order to detain. He eventually stayed several weeks and went through the whole rehab program. They will have staff there who may be able to talk sense into your friend once he's coherent. They won't let him minimize, and they've dealt with his kind before, they know what to say.

You did a good thing tonight, probably saved his life, at least for now. Get some sleep and let the professionals take over now. You did good.

[cabluedem]

22. He's on a "5150": 72 hour hold and then out on the cold, hard streets.

that's the law in most states anyhow. Thanks to Reagan.

[TBF]

25. Yeah, that sounds right. I couldn't remember the exact terminology

but I knew it was just a couple of days. I worked in a private hospital and probably didn't see the worst of the cases, although we did have a couple that were brought in by the local police. In Virginia there was a law about having a certain number of free beds, which we always did, and then yes they could sign themselves out (some had caring families who could get judges orders and eventually they'd be sent on to state if they were psychiatric cases).

[mitchum]

7. You and your husband are very good people

good wishes for your friend

[leftyclimber]

8. You did everything you could, greenbriar.

The rest is up to him. :hug:

[stillcool]

9. He's in the right place..

and so are you. You've provided him with shelter..like a port in the storm..now he's continuing his journey in the direction of his choice. You did good.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. My dear greenbriar...

Major, major kudos to you and your husband for taking care of his good friend...

Not everyone would have done that...

I hope he benefits from the treatment.


:hug:

[greenbriar]

14. thank you

hubby is still there, don't know how long it will be. Don't know what is happening right now, they wouldn't let me go back so I came home. Waiting on a phone call to either pick hubby up or both of them up...Don't know

[Rowdyboy]

15. He needed friends and you and your guy were the best kind....

I wish you all three the best

[nadinbrzezinski]

16. Dear green briar here are some things that will happen

there was a clear and present danger to his life... so the authorities will admit him on a 51-50 that is a psych hold for 72 hours of evaluation, critical care, intervention what have you

Depending on where you are, and how well funded things are, he will be directed to community resource centers and will receive some help, or not

It really depends on the place

If you have a place for homeless you may want to contact them, though most of those places have a zero tolerance for drug\alcohol use

And as I told you the other night... sometimes I do really envy you

There are days I wish I didn't know or see the shit I've seen

As to his friend if this is bottom he may start making changes... if it is not... it is still downhill

You cannot know this... nor should you be responsible or feel responsible for it

Hugs... you did the right thing..

[greenbriar]

31. so during this 72 hours should we go visit him?

or let the process roll?

[nadinbrzezinski]

33. That is up to the staff

some places encourage it, some do not

And it also depends on him and whether he wants a visitor

[RagAss]

17. You're Good People !

[wovenpaint]

18. I been through bringing someone to detox hospital

it was my husband (now ex). He went through a 5 week program and then counseling/AA meetings 3 times a day for weeks-he still goes a couple of times each week to this day-many years later. In my case, he asked me to bring him, but it was still terrifying-and terrifying to see the effects of alcohol abuse. You and your husband are good friends to this man and I know how hard it can be. As others have posted, they will help him detox now. Then your friend will make his decisions. I wish you all the best.

[greenbriar]

19. thank you

I really don't think he should come back to our home

He is our friend, but what he almost did would have wrecked our home and our daughter

[wovenpaint]

21. He can get help with his decisions

There is counseling out there-and others that have been through this same situation that will help him if he wants it...you can still help from a distance, too.
You've taken the first healing steps tonight-for your family as well as your friend.

[greenbriar]

32. I know the road ahead

is going to be rough

[raccoon]

27. I don't think he should come back to your home either.

It's not fair to your family, esp. your daughter.

You did the right thing. :hug:

[proud2BlibKansan]

20. ...

:hug:

[EFerrari]

23. You guys must be tired!

:hug:

While your friend is in the hospital, it might be a good idea to figure out what you two are up for. He might make a good decision and he may not but, it is his decision. Good luck to you.

[greenbriar]

28. we were exhausted I am on spring break. Hubby stayed home today

it was after 1 AM when hubby got home.


he is in 72 hour hold

not sure what will happen next. We can NOT do it all for him. I don't want him back in our home either. I do not think it would be good for him, AND we can't put our life on hold to take care of him. We have professional jobs and he could screw them up

[EFerrari]

29. Okay. Sounds like you've set some important limits.

That's what friends do, in this situation.

:hug:
:grouphug:

[old mark]

24. You did good - now it's up to him.

I worked in several places that made me glad I no longer drink, and I see a lot of people I care about losing so much through alcohol.

A friend from the service (Vietnam) died a few years ago of cancer. He was alcoholic for years and I have no doubt that it contributed to his disease and insanity toward the end of his life. I think of him as another war victim, and I am afraid we will see many more in the US after the horrible Iraq war is over and the troops come home.

I hope both of you stay healthy and that your friend recovers.

mark

[TBF]

26. One of my uncles literally died under a bridge. He had years of

alcohol abuse and at some point along the way my aunt divorced him (understandable of course, but sad). He was a MP in Vietnam and never got it out of his head. In the end he was homeless and died from the drinking. Too many of these cases out there... We need to take care of our veterans (and ideally not put them in this position to start with).

[greenbriar]

30. Hubby is down in his room cleaning

and we washed the sheets and pillows and bedspread.

If he does end up coming here, we are going to expect him to keep it cleaner than he has.

We also told him no smoking anywhere except the garage and we found ashes everywhere downstairs and cups with butts in them.

I am a smoker and it is my house and I only smoke in the garage.

This pisses me off to no end. There is a reason I smoke in the garage.


SO

if he comes here, there will be a LOT of rules

but I don't want him to come back, however, he has no family alive and no where else to go. At this point, he may not even have a job anymore

[TBF]

34. Let us know what happens, greenbriar. You have been so kind to this man.

Does he at least help out around the house? When my brother stayed with us (out of work for awhile) I had him fix up quite a few things when he wasn't actually at job interviews. He did a great job with the vacuum, saved me a service visit. :)

[greenbriar]

35. we went to visit him tonight. It was really weird

and he seems really restless, course, he is a smoker and he can't have any cigs either. They gave him a patch but it doesn't seem to help he says.


He thinks he will be there till Monday and then we will have to figure out what happens from there.


He does not really do much at all, but lately he hasn't done anything so


I really don't want him to come back here, but there really isn't any place for him to go especially if he has lost his job which he does not know if he has or not

[quiller4]

36. He may require a longer period of treatment.

Did he work under a collective bargaining agreement? If so, then his union rep may be able to preserve his job on the condition that he successfully completes treatment. My husband is a retired union rep. He answered many late night calls from bars or detox and woked to see that employees he represented got the treatment they needed and preserved their jobs. It didn't hurt that he also represented the staff at the sobering center the county runs.

[greenbriar]

37. I don't think he is in a union

but is pretty well respected on the job so that may save his butt

I hope so