Derek the Abstinence Clown

[Viking12]

Submitted without comment for your consideration....

I passed the test. I am now a Certified Abstinence Educator.

I have no medical background, no public health training and no teaching certification, but according to the Abstinence Clearinghouse I am now qualified to go into schools across the country and teach your children "everything they need to know" about sex -- just like Derek the Abstinence Clown.

Derek, whose videos have been floating around the Internet for a few weeks now, works for an Ohio organization that gets federal tax money to provide abstinence-only education. He tells kids that they should avoid pre-marital sex because it's like juggling machetes, and then he illustrates the danger by, well, juggling machetes. One might note that Derek undermines his own argument; if he were serious about making his point, he'd cut off a hand and have to be rushed into surgery.

But Derek's sincerity is not in question; his effectiveness is. And Derek is only a tiny example of a much larger problem.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09088/958826-109.stm

[NightWatcher]

1. I gave my word, to stop at third

[MercutioATC]

2. Try for home plate? No! Masturbate!

[skooooo]

7. That would make a great chant..nt

[Viking12]

3. What convinced you?

Was it the machete juggling clown?

[TechBear_Seattle]

5. That poster is... well, words escape me

:toast:

[NightWatcher]

8. that poster is ...well, a tasteless tshirt

tshirt hell dot com

[MineralMan]

6. That poster is priceless.

Here's another one that they could use:

Don't Wanna Get Sick?
Don't Dip That Wick!

[Stinky The Clown]

4. Derek is not a real clown

No clown would take the name Derek.

[bullwinkle428]

10. Like the Seinfeld episode with "Eric the Clown"!

New scene - George talking to Eric, the clown at Robin's son's birthday party.

GEORGE: Bozo?

ERIC: No.

GEORGE: B-O-Z-O?

ERIC: Sorry, I...

GEORGE: You've never heard of Bozo the Clown?

ERIC: No!

GEORGE: How could you not know who Bozo the Clown is?

ERIC: I don't know, I just don't.

GEORGE: How can you call yourself a clown and not know who Bozo is?

ERIC: Hey, man - what are you hassling me for? This is just a gig, it's not my life. I don't know who Bozo is, what - is he a clown?

GEORGE: Is he a clown? What, are you kidding me!?

ERIC: Well, what is he?

GEORGE: Yes, he's a clown!

ERIC: Alright, so what's the big deal! There's millions of clowns!

GEORGE: Alright, just forget it.

ERIC: Me forget it? You should forget it! You're livin' in the past, man! You're hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!

GEORGE: Alright, very good, very good...go fold your little balloon animals, Eric. Eric! What kind of name is that for a clown, huh?

:rofl:

[Stinky The Clown]

12. Eric is better than .......

.... Irving, I'd guess. :shrug:

Not sure, though.

Irving is a good name.

Can be a first name or last name.

Irving Berlin

Washington Irving

Both good.

Irving the Clown?

Not so good.

[RiverStone]

9. No clown or cow will stop teens from having sex...

In fact, it won't even stop clowns or cows from having sex! :think:

[Smith_3]

11. I'm so curious of what oddities a search of Derek's home would yield. nt

[Stevenmarc]

13. Derek the truly scary clown

[callous taoboy]

14. She offered her honor, I honored her offer-

So all night I was on her and off her....

:evilgrin:

[yurbud]

15. he would definitely discourage me from having sex with clowns. Oh wait, John Wayne Gacy did that.

[flvegan]

16. Is he teaming up with Sexual Harassment Panda?