Why me voted Republic;

[greiner3]

(With no apologies to a recent dumbass post on DU's evil twin site)

Me voted Republic because I hate; most anything. To hell with the environment, my children and their children, how the USA is perceived by the rest of the world, how many young Americans will die in the current wars and how many will die in the wars directly caused by these present ones.

Me voted Republic because me religion says that if you are not a WASP, then you are less than a human being and I have every rite to kick you to the ground and keep you down there with any means at my disposal. The caveat is that I will not be blamed, nor charged with a crime, so long as Republics are in power.

Me voted Republic because my god tells me that this world is like a huge play pen. I can do anything I want to and nothing will be destroyed nor damaged. All will be cleaned by god (mommy) regularly so as to keep it interesting.

Me voted Republic because while I believe deep down that there is truth to the Global Warming criers, I am told by utility companies, gasoline and natural gas producers and huge manufacturers that GW is a crackpot idea. A belief in GW is bad because doing anything constructive against a furthering of GW will hurt these companys' bottom line. In actuality, these tree huggers are out to destroy America and attacking these industries is just the first step.

Me voted Republic because I like fascism. Me and the boys were talking about that the other day. Jimmie John actually went and looked up the term on the internets; "A governmental system led by a dictator having complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, regimenting all industry, commerce, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive nationalism and often racism." We got him on the industry, commerce stuff; however, the rest of them ideas sure look like they were in full force during bush's terms. I'll have to think me a bit on them other concepts.

Me voted Republic because I really, really like to kill things. I mean I'm now just waiting on some minority to cut me off in traffic just so I can find out if my new 50 caliber 2nd amendment dream shoots as straight in real life as it does on the range. I'll let you know about that one.

Me voted Republic because I don't know nothing about biology. My preacher told me that those abortionists are so bad because they are killing millions and billions of babies in their mother's wombs (What's a womb by the way?). He said it was up to us, the god fearing bunch, to stop the killing, any way we can. I'm just waiting to find out how straight my gun shoots (See above) and I'll get right on this one.

Me voted Republic because we don't hold with no #%$#%^#@ (Gays) getting married. Just imagine if they all got married. Their children would get the gay bug and there would be twice as many for my children to have to hate.

Me voted Republic because I come from a long line of McCoys and Hatfields that have had their votes bought. Heck, we budget every year knowing that the rich folk will be giving us something extra for Thanksgiving and Xmas. For this year I thought it would be a good idea to get the hogs out of the living room.

[WCGreen]

1. Almost, Almost, Almost....

A Bizzaro from Superman comics...

I think you give the Freepers a bit too much credit on grammer and sentance structure...

[Buzz Clik]

2. Grammar. Sentence.

[Buzz Clik]

3. This reads like a viral email.

It looks at the low end of the spectrum of rightwing voters. Various aspects of the screed touch a majority of Republicans, but most Republicans are just average people who vote GOP.