I was "pre-tipped" last night at a table

[Maine-ah]

So, this is kind of odd.

Last night I waited on a party of 5. They wanted to tweak some menu items to suit their tastes, and I gave them some suggestions, which they really appreciated. Mom was impressed with her drink too. So the girls (in their 20's) said to Dad...Dad, pull out your cash and pre-tip the waitress...I must have had a confused look on my face, because they then explained it to me that this is the newest trend. "Pre-tipping" is when you know you have a damn good server, and the customer will give you some cash before the end of the meal. Their Dad handed me 8 bucks, which I then went and split with the bartender. They were very pleased at the end of their meal, along with the other 2 people that joined them in the middle of dinner that I made 40 dollars from the group.

They ended up doubling what I made last night. Many of my tips were pretty bad, for no reason. We were not busy, and I put out the same exceptional service that my managers (and customers) are always praising me for. I had several checks that were over 80 dollars, and people were leaving just over 10%.

I'm glad they came in, they made my night.

[Just-plain-Kathy]

1. I have a brother inlaw who pre-tips at weddings so his glass is always full. n/t

[Maine-ah]

5. I've been in the restaurant business for 15 years

from working in a restaurant, to working for a food distributor, and this is the first time I've seen it. Certainly something for me to remember to use the next time I'm out for a bite.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

2. I like that!

It's a sane and sensible idea, and I hope it catches on. You made a great impression, and so they simply nailed down your services (although, yes, they already had them), and ensured everyone a pleasant dining experience.

It's no different than hiring a contractor to work on your house, paying him 1/3 at the start, 1/3 halfway through, and 1/3 upon completion. Plus the performance bonus.

Thanks for telling this very nice tale. I think this is something very good - pre-tipping.

:toast:

[xchrom]

3. hmmm -- there's one i haven't heard of.

where are you that his 'pre-tipping' is a new thing.

i have nothing against it -- just interesting.

[Maine-ah]

7. I'm in Maine

I do not work for a "mom & pop" type restaurant. It's a chain, and it's the first time I've ever heard of it to.

[xchrom]

19. change of subject -- do you get good tourist trade

through the summer?

[Maine-ah]

50. yeah, we're right near a hotel. So we certainly get our fair share of the tourists.

[CreekDog]

4. Good. And Bad...10% WTH???

10%??? what the hell is the matter with people?

[msanthrope]

6. My dad would do it at the opera. At intermission, drinks were at the ready. n/t

[Nicole Lambeth]

8. that's awesome!

I've never heard of pre-tipping...hubby and I might need to start doing it. We've always tried to be good tippers, and especially so when the service really deserves it. I know that you guys make next to nothing hourly, and you essentially depend on tips for your living. We had LOTS of friends who were waiters/bartenders when we were in college, and we were always aghast at the tipping horror stories we heard.

I'm so glad this made your day!

[Maine-ah]

10. waiting tables was something I had never planned on going back to

but, life happens and you do what you got to do to make ends meet. It's a skill that once you acquire it, you can always fall back on if you need some cash. For us, we didn't want to send our daughter to day care, and I needed a flexible job. So I work nights taking tables, while my hubbie pulls his full time job during the day. Pretty soon, he'll be working about 70 hours a week (summer's coming) and I'll be able to take less shifts.

[Nicole Lambeth]

34. you do what you can to survive

I just hope that more people realize how much those tips are needed. Hubby and I lived in a college town for a long time, and we always heard that the two groups that were worst about tipping were the eldery (who thought a 5-10% tip was quite generous)and the young frat boy types (who wanted to save all their extra money for booze). It's a hard job with crappy pay, but it's a needed service, and you apparently really impressed your customers! I hope you keep getting recgnition for what you do. You deserve it!

[Maine-ah]

55. thanks Nicole, and welcome to DU

:hi:

[enough]

9. You're giving me a chance to ask a question about tipping.

We always tip 20%, so the question isn't about the amount.

I assume that a server would rather have the tip in cash, so we do that. But I've never really been sure if this is true. If the customer is paying with a credit card, would you rather have your tip in cash, or added to the reckoning on the card?

[Maine-ah]

13. cash.

thanks for asking! :hi:

[KatyMan]

11. Wouldn't a better word for 'pre-tipping' be

bribe? :)

[Maine-ah]

15. depends on how it is used I suppose

They were acknowledging good service before the end of their meal.

Now, if they handed it to me before I had done anything at all for them, then I guess that it could be considered a bribe.

kinda.

[KatyMan]

31. So

Did it affect the service you gave them?

[Maine-ah]

49. I always put forth my best effort,

so no, it did not change the service I gave them. I bust my ass on every table I get. Many times I get let down, but a lot of the time I don't.

For about the past week or so, tips have been on the low side. I'm not the only server who has noticed it.

[Blue_Tires]

12. the only time i've seen pre-tipping

was from a guy with a LOT of money to throw around, and who wanted everyone to know it....

[lumberjack_jeff]

18. "The daughters in their twenties" had a lot of money to throw around too.

... it just wasn't theirs.

[Contrary1]

14. A friend of ours had a similar approach...

He was a heavy tipper for good service. Anyway, he would lay a stack of bills on the table before the server even showed up for our order. He would let them know that this was their "future tip" if they met his expectations.

If the waiter missed the tiniest detail, our friend would say "Oh, oh", and pick up a dollar or two, then give it back if they made it right. This would go back and forth for the entire meal. By the time we were finished, we felt like we knew each other personally.

After a while, when we walked in, you could see the waiters discussing whose turn it was to take care of us.

We always had a good time and great service.

[Maine-ah]

17. that's kind of assholy-ish.

[Contrary1]

23. Nah, he wasn't an ass about it...they knew he was goofing off with them.

They usually ended up getting 40-50%, and this was 10 years ago.

[DS1]

37. Agreed

[NeedleCast]

22. I HATE that shit

and I gotta be honest with you, it really is a shit thing to do to a server. Dangling the "carrot" and toying with servers condescening. I promise you the servers were happy to take a big tip, but they all hated the person doing that. Servers are not toddlers and they don't need to be told "uh oh" if they, the kitchen or someone else makes a mistake. Treat them like adults.

I'd much rather take a 18% tip and be treated like a human that to have someone "tsk tsk-ing" me if I didn't fill up their water glass the second it reached half-full.

[MADem]

32. That's horrible. It's overly "sing for your supper" IMO.

Tap dance for the boss man....ooops, no good, let me get out the gun and fire at your feet! Step-n-fetchit, now...har, har, har!!!

I haven't been a waiter in centuries...but I'd let someone else take that "No Dignity" table. Even if the tip was good. The soul is not for rent.

[burning rain]

43. The fact that different servers wanted the table doesn't make what your friend did right.

It appears to me that he was exploiting them. People in the service industry get paid dick, and tend to be desperate. It is wrong to exploit people generally, and the desperate in particular. Wal-Mart provides crap employment, and the fact that poor people line up to apply for jobs there does not change that fact.

[Luminous Animal]

48. Nothing like keeping the servants subservient!

Yay! Passive aggressive assholes!

[SoCalDem]

59. Did he offer to save them some of his salad? or an onion ring?

if they were "good"?

[lumberjack_jeff]

16. Of course. It's entirely rational.

Diners are advised to tip generously to preclude the tampering of their meals. It's kind of an academic risk if the staff doesn't know that the diner is a poor tipper in advance.

But we don't call it extortion. That's bad form.

[havocmom]

20. I know a few who KNOW they are a pain in the ass to wait staff so they pre-tip

and pre-tip well. They get good service and are reasonable hopeful their food will not be mishandled.

If you know you are gonna need extra attention, let wait staff know you appreciate their efforts, up front!

was told TIPS stood for: to insure prompt service. Never could figure out why you would tip after the mean if it was 'to insure prompt service' And wouldn't it be teps? :shrug:

[Maine-ah]

51. I like your thinking!

:hi:

[Blue_In_AK]

21. I wasn't going to get in on the "tipping wars,"

but I have a question for you. When we were up in Nome for the Iditarod, we noticed a trend of servers just keeping whatever amount of money they were handed and not bringing back the change, thus depriving us of our opportunity to determine the amount of the tip. As an example, breakfast at $15 for both of us, my husband hands the server a $20 bill, and that's the last we see of it. Shouldn't she have brought back the $5 and let us determine the amount we wanted to tip her, which I believe would have been closer to $3?

After that, we determined the solution was to not pay the server, but pay the person at the cash register and then go back to the table to leave the tip. What's the protocol here?

[NeedleCast]

25. Yeah, The protocol is probably inform a manager

That is VERY unusual and honestly, it approaches theft. If I were still managing restaurants and found out a server was doing that I'd likely fire them on the spot. Unless the place has very specific rules for that sort of thing or its common practice in the area...but I've never heard of it (then again, I don't spent a lot of time in the Nome, Alaska area...) Either way, I'd have asked a manager if that was the norm and I would have asked at a couple of spots (if it was happening at more than one place).

[Blue_In_AK]

28. We didn't notice it at any other restaurant,

but we bought a $115 hat at a craft fair and the lady didn't give us back change from the $120 my husband handed her. I personally wouldn't consider this a tippable situation since she sets the prices on the hats anyway, but maybe I'm wrong. :shrug:

As far as the bartenders, the drinks were so good, we lost track. :rofl:

[NeedleCast]

33. Yeah, that's just straight up theft IMO

If its not normal for the area, its stealing. Heck, I'm inclined to be more forgiving of the hat at the crafts fair as they probably don't carry a lot of change (although I still thing its shady).

I have noticed a few places recently that have stopped bringing coin change, (i.e. if the bill was 10.50 and you paid with a 20, they'd bring back 9 dollars). I don't even like that practice though.

[mnhtnbb]

27. You must have met up with some Palin relatives.

:rofl:

[poverlay]

29. In 20 years of waiting tables I would never have done such a thing without asking " Do you want

change?", and that very hesitantly and respectfully. Some places and expectations are different than what I'm used to I guess...

[Arkansas Granny]

38. I have been asked before if I need any change back. If the change is about what

I'd leave for a tip I let them keep it. Sometimes it's just a small amount and I leave an additional tip. I have had a couple of times when they didn't bring back my change and I called the server over and asked for it. It just doesn't strike me as quite right that they assume that it's theirs to keep. FWIW, I leave 20 - 25% for good service.

[NeedleCast]

41. You Did Right

As sort of a stickler for food service professionalism, I always told my serving staff to bring change regardless and not to ask if someone needed change. Assume they do. If the customer told the server "we don't need change," that was the only acceptable time not to bring them any.

[JerseygirlCT]

47. We've had a time or two

when the meal cost, say $25, and we've put a $50 with the check. The waitress has come over and said: do you want change? LOL, yeah, I think so. Not ready for a tip quite that big!

I assumed it was just a reflex for them by then, but it was still pretty funny both times.

[Maine-ah]

52. I never ask if someone needs change. I just always bring the cash

back to the table. If they want me to keep the change, they'll let me know.

[hellbound-liberal]

24. My mother, first told me about "pre-tipping" many years ago.

She even told me that the the word "tip" meant "To Insure Promptness". She worked as a waitress at resorts in upstate New York and Palm Beach. I've never done it though.

[Stinky The Clown]

26. The girls read DU

:)

Glad you had a good night!

[lumberjack_jeff]

45. It's a good thing that they were generous and had the money to spare.

:)

[MADem]

30. I generally leave twenty percent--that's my starting point.

If the service sucks, I may go down to fifteen, depending on the situation (one waitress--twenty tables=no penalty) or more if it's just horrid (I can't remember the last time it was horrid, though) and if it's incredible service, I'll go higher.

[Libertyfirst]

35. Always pretip if I have a party of six or more. Hand the wait person

a folded twenty and whisper, "there will be the usual after the meal." It has always insured great service.

[JanMichael]

36. So, you knew, in all likelihood, you weren't waiting on DUers!

;)

The "restaurant service threads" with the exception of two (including this one) are beyond ridiculous.

What a spoiled, stupid, petty country we have become.

[Carni]

39. Never heard of pre-tipping

Interesting...but how do you calculate the tip at the end of the meal if you already pre-tipped? Do you just deduct the pre-tip amount from the 20% I would be leaving anyway? Or is the pretipping on top of the final tip?

[Maine-ah]

53. I'm not quite sure. This is my first experience with a pre-tip.

Considering what they left me, it seems as though it was on top of the final tip. Though some may deduct it. Maybe someone here who pre-tips could explain what they do?

[sinkingfeeling]

40. Is pre-tipping the new bribe?

[NeedleCast]

44. As an ex-server/manager, I don't mind it

as long as it's not done in a way to suggest that a server may be penalized. If someone wants to pre-tip and tell a server they're trying to impress a client or a date and to give them a little special attention, thats fine. However, I've also seen it done the wrong way, where a customer hands a server some cash up front and does the "there might be more where that came from if..." or the "You have a 30% tip to start with, but it can only go down so make sure you're doing a good job."

[fob]

42. There was a program on tv,(forget what channel) and they had a snippet

about tipping. They said, that the tip was initially given BEFORE the meal, and that "tip" came from "To Ensure Prompt Service", TEPS became "tip".

I think it was on the Food Channel.

[rockymountaindem]

46. I've always thought you of the low classes should just be happy with the $2.12/hr mandated by law

The rest of us live within our means, why can't you waitrons?

:popcorn:

[Maine-ah]

54. we get half of minimum wage, so that's 3.625 per hour

:P

[MrSlayer]

56. I'll often pre-tip a bartender, particularly in a crowded place.

$20 up front usually assures that you always get a drink, even if you are four deep in the crowd in front of the bar.

[Betty88]

60. the magic $20

I do this also, works like a charm. At my brothers wedding I handed the bartender a folded 20 and said "just in case I forget later" I don't think she looked at it. When I returned she nearly body checked the other bartender to take my order.

[Systematic Chaos]

57. Unless my service has been godawful I always tip very high.

Back in my card counting days - before casinos pretty much ruined the game of blackjack - I would ask for an open restaurant comp any time I made a good "score" of several hundred dollars or higher at the tables, because I usually had a friend or two hanging out with me and we'd all be hungry.

My favorite thing to do was to have the two or three of us run up a restaurant tab around $100 and then tip the waiter/waitress half the amount of the check. Hey, the food was free and I had phat pockets... why not? I made one very bored waiter's day at the Four Queens doing that on graveyard shift.

[Truth2Tell]

58. Back when I used to drink professionally

I would always give a large tip to the bartender on my first drink. Maybe a $20 on a $4 drink. I'd stick to 20% after that, but the initial $20 was what they remembered most and always paid off over the course of the night. Pre-tipping for food service sounds like a great idea to me. I think I'll start doing it.

[TexasObserver]

61. I do something similar any time I'm with a large group, and ....

... and there's going to be couples splitting the tab. This happens once or twice a year. It's a function I am not in charge of, but need to be there. I know the wait person will have to divide bills. What I don't know is how these other people will tip.

So, I slip away right after the drink order is taken and catch the wait person near the kitchen or bar. I give them some amount that will cover at least 15% of the projected total tab for the table. Let's say I think it will be $200. I give them $30 in cash right then. I explain what I'm doing and why. I tell them I want them to know I am not going to let them get hurt by waiting on 6-12 people for an hour or two without getting tipped properly, and I don't know how the others will tip.

That ensures good service, it's my secret with the wait person, and I can enjoy the event without worrying that the wait person will wonder if this gaggle of customers is going to burn them. I can't stand the thought of being at a table that tips poorly, and would rather give the wait staff too much than see them get too little.

Occasionally, a waitstaffer will ask why I do this, and I always say "because I'm a real Democrat!"

Been doing this a long time, too.