Hey Miss CA! The MOST BIBLICALLY CORRECT MARRIAGE awaits you!

[K8-EEE]

At the fabulous YEARNING FOR ZION ranch!

Yes, just like the Bible, YOU can have an arranged marriage to a guy old enough to be your father and/or grandfather, and join his happy stable of bartered breeding whelps.

It's the Bible-est marriage EVER! WOOOHOOOO!!

You're going to have to trade in the bikini, spray tan, fake eyelashes & heels for more Biblically correct attire. And things like dating, freedom and having any kind of choices whatsoever in your life are out. Just like the ladies in the Bible! Yay!

But, God will be soooo proud of you as you serve your husband/lord and master and go forth and multiply with his other female possessions!

HAVE FUN!

[Catshrink]

1. Were there burkas in the Bible?

[K8-EEE]

3. I'm pretty sure that bikini would get her stoned in the Bible times

And I'm not talking like Michael Phelps stoned either!

[HeresyLives]

4. Yes indeed.

Mary wore a Chador.

[ooglymoogly]

17. I'd hazard a guess that its Burkin bags she is interested in and fer sherrr

not burkas

[Stevenmarc]

22. Well Hermes was the messenger of the Gods

[ooglymoogly]

27. That's pronounced Airmezzzzz thank you.. nt

[givemebackmycountry]

2. K8 - You are so twisted.

I love ya!

Kicked and all that jazz...

:hi:

[K8-EEE]

5. Thanks I try and re: your avatar:

DODGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AwakeAtLast]

6. There's also the no eating shellfish thing

and I hope she has a place picked out that's far enough away for the time when she is "unclean". :eyes:


:D

[demodonkey]

7. Cheeseburgers are forbidden as well...

...and don't forget the special bath after the "unclean" time has passed.

Mustn't cherry pick the Bible, you know.

[K8-EEE]

11. Bible-wise the bikini can't be made out of both spandex AND cotton

Two fiber rule....or something....it's in the Bible so it MUST be right!

[nickyt]

8. "It's the Bible-est marriage EVER!"

Ah ha ha!! This is grrr-REAT!

[Vickers]

9. Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.

I totally dig it.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

K&R

[Norquist Nemesis]

10. Don't forget the dowry! What's her daddy going to put up? n/t

[PufPuf23]

12. The Handmaidens Tale - Atwood - Deserved nt

[nichomachus]

13. I have a question about gay marriage -- can anyone answer it for me?

If marriage is a religious institution and not a civil one, why can't priests and ministers grant divorces?

After all, if they are the ones in charge of marriage, they should be able to end them too, right?

[adiabatic]

14. A priest or minister can't marry anyone unless they have a civil license.

There are many non-religious ways to perform perfectly legal marriages. (I get your point, though...ask some fundies and let us know what they say) :D

[nichomachus]

15. No, they don't need a civil license

at least not in CA -- they are automatically enabled to perform marriages. There is no license process they need to go through.

But my point, as you gathered, is not about that. It's about whether marriage is a religious or a civil institution. they claim it's religious. If it is religious, then they should be able to end it too. But they can't.

[adiabatic]

18. Oh I didn't make it clear, I meant the -couple- to be married has to have a civil marriage license.

The religious ceremony (if they want it) can be done by literally anyone who wants to call him or herself a preacher.\:-)

[nichomachus]

19. Right -- but the license doesn't marry you.

The priest or minister can marry you, but not unmarry you. Weird.

[adiabatic]

20. Well, technically nobody can unmarry you...although I suppose you could call a judge

'someone' but most places have laws that pretty much leave it up to the parties themselves and don't require any sort of equivalent 'ceremony', as it were. I see how it seems odd though but there probably aren't any religions that would accept
let alone provide a 'solemnization' of divorce. ;-)

[nichomachus]

21. No, not at all

It only takes one party to initiate the divorce -- and the judge is absolutely necessary. No one is divorced without the judge formally approving it.

In fact, there are thousands and thousands of people who think they are divorced, but really aren't, because they initiated the paperwork and then never followed up on it.

I used to work in family law and it was funny/sad to see the people who came in for a copy of their "divorce" only to find out they weren't divorced.

One guy came in one day. His new wife and her family were waiting in the country clerk's office where the couple was going to get a license and be married, but needed a copy of the divorce decree first. We looked him up in the files and his divorce had been filed, but never finalized.

He was understandably distraught. I thought it would be a perfect setup for the "Wanna get away?" ads from Southwest.

I went one whole week with at least one person a day coming in for a copy of their divorce decree only to find out there was none. One woman had thought for eight years that she was divorced.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

25. People assume weird things about family law.

Like the first guy I lived with, whom I later married.
We lived together and his stupid parents called us up and yelled at us. They were terrified that we would wake up one morning after six months together, magically, and be automatically married.

:rofl:

I asked them to tell me where in the Texas Family Code it says that that is what makes a common law marriage. They couldn't of course. And the daddy had a Ph.D. from Rice University!
Bunch of idiots.

Later we went down to file a Declaration of Common law marriage in Texas, and the clerk committed a misdemeanor by not filing it. He tore up three forms trying to type on it, and wouldn't accept it.
This was b/c I would not change my last name.

I asked him the same question: "Would you show me where in the Texas Family Code it says I have to change my name???".


:banghead: :wtf: :banghead: :grr:

[knitter4democracy]

28. I'm having to get a church divorce.

Just as we were married in a church and then signed the state license, we're getting the state divorce and then taking that to the church court for a church divorce as well. At least, I hope he's still going along with it, as I would like to continue being able to take Communion and serve in my church.

[ooglymoogly]

16. ...

[ThatsMyBarack]

23. Thanks, Don Pardo!

:rofl: x 10!

[JimWis]

24. LOL - I love your post K8-EEE. Right on.

:rofl:

[Merlot]

26. On a related note: God hates figs!

Thom Hartman did a bit today about how the word "figs" appears in the bible 4 times, and God apparently does not like them. However, the word "fags" does not ever appear in the bible.

[Cha]

29. I forget..is she having the

opposite marriage?