GOP Cookbook - Now Available!!!

[NanceGreggs]

Recipes include …

Basic Outsauce

Gather necessary ingredients.
Ship to cheap labor market.
Wait four-to-six weeks for prepared sauce to arrive in mail.
Return to sender – out-of-work folks can’t afford shipping and handling.

Outsauce with a Twist

Find one (1) covert CIA agent.
“Out” her when her husband starts “talking saucy”.

We-Don’t-Torture Turkey Surprise

Torture one turkey (farm fresh or plastic) to death.
Roast – as – slowly – as – possible.
Regale dinner guests with tales about what info the turkey gave up before expiring – which, of course, can't be disclosed, but kept America safe


Cheney Chicken

Shoot chicken in face.
Wait for chicken to apologize.
Grunt-like-a-pig while devouring.


Halliburton Halibut

Sautee rotten fish in fetid water.
Charge your dinner guests $2,500 per serving to cover “costs”.
Serve on jewel-encrusted “KBR” plates.

Gitmo Gumbo

Rack-of-lamb with assorted vegetables.
Remove from rack before serving – insist lamb died of “natural causes”.
Recipe serves 15 to 20 non-persons.

Pro-Life Omelette

Fry thousands of eggs.
Add salt, pepper, mushrooms and onions.
Serve while discussing how you would have supported social programs to care for all of those baby chicks, if only they’d been allowed to live to maturity.


Bipartisanship Buffet

Beat-and-batter one newly-elected president.
Place on skewer.
Season-to-taste with bitter herbs.

Fox-News Frappe

Toss mixed nuts, fear and paranoia into blender.
Whip into a frenzy.
Recipe serves (1,000,000+) idiots and/or (0) thinkers.

Christian Values Salad

Assorted fresh-and-impressionable greens.
Discard all parts thereof that appear to be gay, lesbian, pro-choice, pro-science, pro-freedom-of-thought, rational, and/or intelligent
Say Grace before swallowing consuming

Tax-and-Spend Tea

Run up billions on credit card to purchase ingredients.
Combine ignorance and forgetfulness with healthy dollops of revisionist history.
Position mis-spelled place cards at each guest’s table setting, in hopes no one will notice you don’t know what the fuck it is you’re steaming about.


NeoCon Newburg

Ingredients: one (1) fresh lobster
Problem: can’t afford lobster
Solution: find lobster that promises to pay for itself

MSM Appetizer

Assemble “virtual” food on platter
“Dress” with hair-dos, designer wardrobe, industrial-strength cosmetics and LOTS of vinegar
Serve with arrogance - pass-off as substantial and satisfying fare.

Palin Half-Baked Alaska

Combine brainlessness, scandal, hypocrisy.
Add assorted clueless quotes.
Bake in oven until over-done.

BushCo Brunch

Strategerize food preparation.
Don’t misunderestimate number of guests.
Proceed to put food on your family.

[yy4me]

1. Brilliant, I wish I had such a creative mind. Now I will have to

spend the day thinking of recipes to add to your book. Are you taking new entries?

[jeff30997]

2. Sounds devilicious but ...

You're pretty vague about the way to prepare the turkey.Should

I waterboard it or use electrodes on the bird's testicles ?

Oh,and you forgot about dessert!

Suggestion:


Crime brulée

Put a Dick and some Chimp meat in a large bowel.
Add a shameless egghead for scientific flavor.
Whip the mix until it's dark and oily then add
1 pound of sugar to reduce the bitterness.
Pour into 6 crime brulée dishes and bake in
a GD flamefest for 30 minutes.
Just prior to serving,caramelize with a blowtorch.

Voila ! :)

[jeff30997]

3. 6 recs and 2 posts !

Dagnabit people are lazy today.

[malaise]

4. Excellent

:D
K & R

[PADemD]

5. Half awake, but loved your recipes!

[peekaloo]

6. I applaud your more discerning palate

but I'll stick with my most basic recipe for the GOP...."Eat shit and die".

[notesdev]

7. Hank's Peanuts

Create a panic
Block alternatives
Guide the stampeding herd into an economic dictatorship

[krispos42]

8. K&R

[InfiniteThoughts]

9. disappointed ...

i was looking for the reciepe of FACT TWISTER (AND) PUNCH! that i wanted to serve to a visiting repub friend ...

[IDemo]

10. Delicious carbonaceous casserole

Drive Hummer to Chile and back for ingredients:

One dried aquifer
One parched planet
A smackdown of "Inhoffe's Dinosaur Fart" barbecue sauce
A dollop of deniability

Place in 450 degree oven for thirty years. Insist to guests that it's a frozen dessert.

[dynasaw]

11. You Forgot a Recipe

for crow they are now forced to eat. :evilgrin:

[a la izquierda]

12. Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!

Brilliant! I need to channel some of your creativity while writing my darned dissertation!

[baldguy]

13. It's title is "To Serve America"

[jeff30997]

14. Lol ! Good one.

[Miss_Underestimated]

15. They could start a restaurant in the basement of the GWB Library & serve up these goodies

[CaliforniaPeggy]

16. Perfect, my dear Nance!

Somehow I was thinking these were real recipes!

But these are superiour to anything the GOP could come up with!

K&R

:9

[yoyossarian]

17. LOL!

This is hilarious! You should do a book!

Cheesy-Cheney Snacks!




Read all about it!
Cannibal Cheney in New Orleans Bunker!

Great gift tee shirts, mugs, buttons and other cool stuff at


Laugh City!

President Evil Online has risen from the grave!

[Divine Discontent]

18. Mmm Mmm Good! Rec 25 with a smile and a nauseated stomach -

for I've sampled plenty of that squalor, and I can tell you, it makes you sick to your stomach. The Christian Values Salad, while I tried to praise my Lord in church is one of the most well known recipes in that book - they just looooooove to rant on about abortion lovin' liberals and homo-sex-shul hollywood - I always thought, wow, if this was a person's first time in church (who's kind hearted) they'd not want to be affiliated with Christianity, now would they? Such HATE.

Again, Nance, this cookbook is, but of course, FANTASTICO!


More at: www.cafepress.com/warisprofitable

[Seldona]

19. 'NeoCon Newburg'

'Ingredients: one (1) fresh lobster
Problem: can’t afford lobster
Solution: find lobster that promises to pay for itself'

Brilliant. You must write for a living. If not, you should imo.

[grantcart]

20. Brilliant Fun

Sexy Saffron Hash

Grab the nearest Republican hypocrite
Expose inner secret life, lies, mistresses/and or male/female prostitute
Best served with humiliated spouse standing by her 'man'

[Baby Snooks]

21. Why I love you Nance...

You always seem to post something truly spectacular when I need a smile and a laugh the most!

[Political Tiger]

22. All served with a big bottle of GOP Brand

WHINE!

[baldguy]

23. An astonishing bouquet which is a blend of bile & cat piss

First impression is of old leather with a hint of oil, with a flat body that has no depth at all. And the finish goes on and on and on - it never seems to leave. Only at the end do you realize that it's non-alcoholic and sugar-free - and not in a good way.

[Piewhacket]

24. Vampire Soup

You will need:
large pot, heated
large wood ladle
100 gal water
30 cloves of garlic
1 lb salt
one recently unemployed VP, lightly tarred and feathered, trussed.

1) heat water, salt, and garlic in pot to 160 F.
2) using large ladle, repeatedly blanch VP in pot while intensively questioning
him about his and his known associates criminal activities.
3) when sufficiently blanched and done confessing, drop VP into the pot
and bring mixture to a full rolling boil for 40 minutes.
4) remove VP, drive wooden ladle through pseudoheart, bury in toxic waste dump.
5) strain liquid and serve as clear soup at next GOP luncheon.

[onestepforward]

25. Too funny!

[jgraz]

26. No thanks. I generally find Republicans too greasy to use in everyday cooking.

[DFW]

27. If that doesn't satisfy your appetite, here are a few more from the next edition

Boehner Beans

Take some green beans, let them sit around until brown
Add excessive amounts concentrated lemon juice for high acidity
Serve cold.

Newt Nuts
Take one pound of nuts. Let them sit around for ten years until thoroughly stale.
Serve at Sunday talk shows until gone or until people get sick, whichever comes first.

Hannity Hash
Finely grind up two pounds of anything from your disposal. Heat to the point where it smells.
Serve involuntary into the mouth of anyone on your show who disagrees with a right-wing point of view.
Talk over them while they gag.

Fox Fish
This recipe works with any kind of fish.
Remove all edible parts. Serve the rest, covering it in any artificial sweetener known to be
carcinogenic, hoping the people consuming it won’t notice they’re eating trash.
It’s Fox, so they won’t.

Bachmann Barbecue
For this popular Republican recipe, you need an ounce of chicken, plus about one pound of
sodium hypochlorite. Serve to nobody. Are you kidding? That stuff is so toxic, it’s the
main ingredient in Drano. Indigestible to all but the Congresswoman after whom it was named.
She seems to be able to eat it and spit out without any visible side effects.

[pa28]

28. For a nice summer picnic there's the Bush bucket.

A greasy assortment of right wings, rednecks and a$$holes.

[Hatchling]

29. Waterboard Aperitif

5 gallons any local water.
Strain through non-person 183 times
Serve over denial in a sneering mug.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

36. good one!

:thumbsup:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

30. You are a wonder. This is primo comedy.

:yourock:

K&R

Thank you Nance :loveya:

[RedCloud]

31. GOP brown bag to go.

Stick foot in mouth and start munching away.

Served best with extra large tea bags.

[Demeter]

32. I Was Thinking of Twilight Zone---How To Serve Man

and thinking nothing on earth could get me to even taste "GOP stew".

[NanceGreggs]

33. Thanks to EVERYONE ...

... for adding your "serving suggestions"!!!

:grouphug:

[underpants]

34. We-Don’t-Torture Turkey Surprise

[SoCalDem]

35. a few more recipes... (Love your chicken recipe)

:rofl:


Election Stew à la Républicain

Posted by SoCalDem in General Discussion

Thu Jun 15th 2006, 06:43 PM

INGREDIENTS:

* 20 million illegals
* 2500 dead soldiers (now almost double:cry:..)
* 7 trillion dollars of debt
* 2 brazillion hours of useless debate over depriving gay people of basic rights
* 9 billion missing dollars ..somewhere in Iraq
* 46 million uninsured people..praying they don't get sick
* 50 dashes of electronic voting machines (Diebold is preferred, but you may substitute ES&S or Sequoia)
* 1 braised, but not bruised dash of Rove...(no more than one.. more could cause Roverian cancer)
* Liberal pinches of MSM (may still give you a headache, so it's optional)
* 2 cups of Minutemen rice (simmered under a baking desert sun preferrably)
* 1 petulant chickenhawk..(be sure and clip his wings or he might fly off to Baghdad)
* 3 protesters, quartered
* 1 or 2 potato heads..(Russerts are preferred, but you may substitute)
* 1/4 cup self rising flour (Jesus brand is preferred)
* 1/2 cup frozen corn kernels..(not the generals..especially the retired ones.. they can be tough)

Mix all together and cook over a HIGH heat..(flags make a handy substitute for briquets)..Stir it and Stir it and Stir it and then keep stirring it...

Serve with French bread ....Just kidding....
Read entry | Discuss (6 comments)

.....................................

Republican Souffle recipe
Posted by SoCalDem in General Discussion
Fri May 19th 2006, 02:35 PM

Get out your Williams Sonoma bowls, and your heavy-duty stainless steel, diamond studded measuring cups.

Send Consuela to the supermarket for the ingredients..(Have her stop at Starbucks on the way home..You'll need your double frou-frou chocolate, half-decaf, half-espresso with Zanzibar-cinnamon-stick, double-froth choco-mocha latte)

Separate the eggs...yellows over THERE...Whites over HERE

Sift all the dry ingredients together ..(we'll call that integration)

Beat the eggs and dump them all in together..
Mix all ingredients into an unholy mess.....
Whip it and whip it and whip it some more..

Turn the heat up on the oven..higher and higher and higher

Place the souffle into the oven ..sit down and have your latte while the whole thing burns to a crisp..

Call Jennair to complain about the oven..
Call Consuela into the kitchen to clean up the mess

Comment to all your friends about how the French don't explain their recipes well, and how they should speak english like we do.

Notice that you have run out of checks, so fish a designer dress out of the donation box.. Pay Consuela with the dress.. her children will think she's beautiful...

When she asks to take some food home to her kids, since you didn't give her money, tell her how lucky she is, and how she should take personal responsibility..

Call the Club for dinner reservation..

Take a nap..

[BlancheSplanchnik]

37. ROFL!!

Isn't the funniest comedy the kind that tells truth!!!

[Overseas]

38. Kicking this fun cookbook !! Great antidote

after reading about torture and swine flu.