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Was there ever a time that you opposed gay marriage?

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bluestateguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:15 PM
Original message
Was there ever a time that you opposed gay marriage?
I must confess that I was in that category at one time. It just did not seem "normal" to me; it was too "different" for me to accept. I was dead wrong and stupid. But even when I opposed it, I deplored the politicians who were just using the issue for demagoguery to score cheap political points. And that's actually what helped me to change my position (yes, flip-flop) about 8-10 years ago. I was proud to have voted against a ban on gay marriage when my state voted on the issue a few years ago (though I was badly outvoted).

So, I just confessed. How about you? Were you ever an opponent of marriage equality?
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:16 PM
Response to Original message
1. No. Never.
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:16 PM
Response to Original message
2. There may have been - can't remember - but I was always at least for...
the equal-rights-civil-union business.

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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:17 PM
Response to Original message
3. Not that I remember
I will confess that I once wondered why a "union" wasn't good enough, but I realized why it isn't a while ago.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:19 PM
Response to Original message
4. What I am opposed to is using Edda James' 'At Last' as a wedding song
I mean, puh-leeze! It's been done to death already. Pick something original!


But I have never opposed gay marriage. In fact, before I even self-identified as a Liberal, my objection to marriage discrimination got me tagged as a "Leftie" by several Conservative coworkers (quite a few years ago).
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
5. No. Never. nt
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liberalmuse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
6. Yes.
Edited on Sat Apr-25-09 09:23 PM by liberalmuse
I was strongly against abortion, too. I was raised in a very strict religious household, and believed what I was told until I was about 16 or 17. Then, after I had my own child, everything changed and I really can't remember when I completely stopped believing all the bullshit. It took a long time to shed it all, though. The stance against abortion and gay marriage were amongst the first things I did a 180 on, many, many years ago.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
7. no; I am proud to say never
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Hassin Bin Sober Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:24 PM
Response to Original message
8. Yes. I'm gay. I thought it was silly but then I grew up.
Was I ever for it being outlawed? No. And the more the repigs pushed for a ban the more I paid attention.
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Tikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:25 PM
Response to Original message
9. No....
I knew a girl who was just chomping at the bit to get this guy to marry her....
They were married for two weeks.

The maitre'de at the restaurant I worked at came to all the waitresses' wedding...he and his partner
,of like a million years, would sit together at those weddings and close their eyes and silently
repeat their vows with a squeeze of each others hands.

Marriage should be confined only to the few, the proud....the committed couples.


Tikki
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MADem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
10. I never really thought about it...until I thought about it, of course.
I knew a few gay couples who played the legal games, with powers of attorney, and ironclad wills, and things of that nature to protect their relationship into old age and death.

Then, when it started to be discussed, my only thought could be "Really...why not?"

I have to admit that I had a selfish motivation for being "for" it that was entirely unrelated to moral or cultural issues--I figured it would increase home ownership and add to the tax base! That's a societal good, in my view.

Married people were more likely to buy houses, after all...!
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northofdenali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
11. No. n/t
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dustbunnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:27 PM
Response to Original message
12. My parents' marriage didn't seem normal to me.

They were so mismatched even a five-year-old could see it. Other than that, no other marriage idea has ever bothered me.
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csziggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:27 PM
Response to Original message
13. I barely believe in marriage especially the religiously sanctioned kind
But I never objected to the idea of two people loving and committing to each other, or to them having the same rights no matter what the combination of sexes.
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CatholicEdHead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
14. Nope, never
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Starry Messenger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
15. No.
I think at one point about 5-6 years ago I thought civil unions for all might be the way to go, but seeing the list of over 1,000 federal protections that are denied to couples who aren't in a marriage but in a domestic partnership made it a no-brainer. (I think I saw that list posted here, actually ) I've been happily for marriage equality ever since. It just makes sense.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:29 PM
Response to Original message
16. Never.
It's funny, ever since I found out what "gay" means, I've been "pro gay" (kinda silly term, I know). I was 10 the first time I remember anyone ever saying anything to me about gay people. My good friend made an offhand comment -- Something like "I don't know why some people don't like gay people. All the gay guys I know are super nice." (She was involved in theater from a young age, so she was more up on the issues. Lol.) That's all it took for me.
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LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:30 PM
Response to Original message
17. No.
I lost a much loved family member when I was 12. She committed suicide because she couldn't stand the social stigmatizing, the perpetual attempts to be "normal" in relationships with men, the hopelessness of a future of hidden love, in a world that wasn't going to respect who she was.

I've missed her for 37 years now. I've supported the right for people to love and marry and live as themselves since childhood.
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Pisces Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:30 PM
Response to Original message
18. No, and I am a heterosexual
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SPedigrees Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:36 PM
Response to Reply #18
40. Same here and same here. nt.
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blonndee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:31 PM
Response to Original message
19. No, I never did. Even when I was politically ignorant and apathetic and even
(gasp) was sympathetic to W after 9/11 (due to being ignorant), I never saw what was "the big deal" about gay marriage and gay rights. Even being raised in a relatively conservative family who supported Bush over Gore, it seemed clear to me that same-sex marriage (though it wasn't a widely publised issue, it was one I read about and thought about) was a human rights issue and that if government was going to recognize ANY marriage in the first place, it must then recognize same-sex marriage as well.

(My personal experiences factor into this, but largely later than this period.)
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leftyclimber Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:33 PM
Response to Original message
20. No.
I am a bisexual woman.

It seems ridiculous that I could fall in love with one person and marry them but not another, all because of their particular plumbing.
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handmade34 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:33 PM
Response to Original message
21. NO
but I understand that many people grow up in an environment that is very difficult to break from.
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thereismore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:33 PM
Response to Original message
22. Yes, I admit. But not anymore. nt
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GentryDixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:38 PM
Response to Original message
23. No. Never.
I was raised by parents who taught love for all. No exceptions.

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Lerkfish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
24. nope, never -- for one thing
I completely supprt gay rights. I never understood why some straight people feel threatened? it affects them not at all.
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spanone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:41 PM
Response to Original message
25. never
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eyesroll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:42 PM
Response to Original message
26. No...but in high school, I didn't know any out gay people and wasn't really sure what to think.
I wasn't raised particularly homophobic, but I was kind of squeamish about everything, I also got a big dose of "anal sex = AIDS = gay men = don't even think of dating a bisexual man."

I got to college, met a lot of gay people, learned that gay people were people like everyone else, got over the squeamish.

Same-sex marriage wasn't really an issue I thought about until I was an adult, and had no reason to oppose it then. I suppose I might have been uncomfortable, had the idea been introduced to me when I was in high school, but I wouldn't have been able to articulate the problem.
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valerief Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:43 PM
Response to Original message
27. nope
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:54 PM
Response to Original message
28. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
cali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:58 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. um, you're on the wrong site. pizza will be delivered shortly
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cali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #29
31. I never really thought about it until 12 years ago
when a couple of friends got me involved in working on the issue here in Vermont.
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #29
32. Exactly! DU spports marriage equality.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:02 PM
Response to Reply #29
33. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:09 PM
Response to Reply #33
36. Go answer your own fake questions.
You can be against marriage in general, but that was not the question. Do not single out one group to suggest depriving them of their civil rights is somehow humorous.

Adios.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:02 PM
Response to Reply #33
45. I'm gay, married and happy
And, at my marriage, we didn't take "Xtian" vows. We took the Brehon vows. Our ceremony took a bit of Catholicism and quite a bit of paganism, and was conducted by a Unitarian minister.

Marriage isn't just Christian, you know.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:58 PM
Response to Reply #28
42. Damn, you guys don't even try anymore
Absolutely pathetic.
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Adelante Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
30. No
I never cared about marriage, in general, and certainly not about who marries who.
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Solly Mack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
34. I've always been a fan of equal rights.
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Avalux Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:04 PM
Response to Original message
35. Yes. When my husband left me for a man.
But that was a very long time ago and a personal drama not worth even recalling anymore. My work in HIV/AIDS made me realize love isn't restricted to M/F and there's no logical reason why people of the same sex should not be married.
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UndertheOcean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:09 PM
Response to Original message
37. Never
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customerserviceguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
38. I was terrifically homophobic about 25 years ago
and eventually, by meeting and getting to know gay and lesbian people, I outgrew it. Society was full of antigay messages in the 1960's and 1970's, despite the progress other marginalized groups made.

I still think that 90% of the people who are against equal rights think they don't know any gay or lesbian folks, if there were a big fat 'coming out' party, we might see most of homophobia disappear measurably within a year. I know that for me, thinking it was something a person "chose" rather than what they "are" contributed mightily to my keeping my head up my ass about it.
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
39. Not just no, but hell no.
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Muttocracy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 10:52 PM
Response to Original message
41. I hadn't thought much about it until talking to a gay friend about it.
Edited on Sat Apr-25-09 10:52 PM by Muttocracy
I thought of marriage as a religious thing, and given I wasn't religious and was a misfit, and was the product of a horrible prolonged divorce by my parents, I never spent much time thinking about marriage period. First gay friends were in college and I don't remember any of them talking about marriage/civil unions. Of course, my heterosexual friends didn't talk about marriage much either.

When I heard of civil union I thought it meant a non-religious marriage, and I didn't understand why same-sex couples would rather have a church marriage than a civil union, since I thought most religious people were homophobic (I grew up in a very conservative town). When I talked to my gay friend about it as being an issue of fairness and equal rights, I got it. I had never thought much about the legal rights (hospital visitation, inheritance, custody of kids etc.) that automatically go with the term "marriage".
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Stephanie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:00 PM
Response to Original message
43. No.
Edited on Sat Apr-25-09 11:00 PM by Stephanie
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hunter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
44. I used to be on the "get rid of marriage in favor of civil unions for all" bandwagon.
Then I realized that was a bad idea. Marriage is marriage and it's something a lot of people want, gay or straight.

As a young man it would have saved me a whole lot of trauma if gay marriage had been an ordinary and accepted thing in our society. Instead I got sucked into a bloody disaster of a relationship with a very religious young woman who didn't even know a homosexual relationship was possible, much less that long term gay relationships existed, or that she herself was gay. I was so fucking naive I didn't tune in that she liked girls as much as I did and the only reason I was around was that her own "family values" required her to have a boyfriend even if he was a socially awkward computer nerd. She finally figured it herself when she met the woman she married.

Every gay kid should know there are married gay couples out there, even the kids who are unfortunate enough to grow up in families hostile to homosexuality. I fly my rainbow flag her because marriage is a human right and I think all kids should see committed gay relationships as ordinary and worthy of all the legal privileges and responsibilities of marriage.

I'm fortunate there was never any homophobia in my own family -- my parents had gay friends, even my grandparents had gay friends since it was Hollywood, but homosexuality was still was hidden and hush-hush because it was a dangerous world for anyone who was gay.

Here's a picture of Ramon Novarro striking a pose for my grandma and her sister when they were high school kids:



Ramon Navarro was a Mexican Actor who became a silent movie star in Hollywood as a "Latin Lover." He was also gay and was killed in an encounter with "some good Catholic boys" he had hired from what would now be called an escort service. They were caught and sentenced to long prison terms, but were almost immediately released on probation.

Stuff like that still goes on. We've got to get people past our society's cruel prejudices against homosexuals.
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ContinentalOp Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #44
53. Wow, amazing story! -nt-
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Hissyspit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:15 PM
Response to Original message
46. No.
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ContinentalOp Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
47. No, I've known gay couples since I was a small child.
Edited on Sat Apr-25-09 11:19 PM by ContinentalOp
My parents were friends with several gay men including a gay couple that were essentially married. From a young age I went to their house, and knew they were a couple, and didn't think anything of it.
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islandgirl808 Donating Member (255 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:20 PM
Response to Original message
48. nah
my brother's gay so i figure, why not? love is love :hug:
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Feron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
49. Yes.
When I was going through my fundie fucktard phase.

Fortunately I changed my beliefs after questioning them and really listening to what proponents had to say.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:33 PM
Response to Original message
50. I'm old enough to remember when it wasn't even discussed
not even as an idea for eventual implementation.

But by the time it became a hot topic, I already had known a lot of gay and lesbian couples and observed that their relationships were emotionally the same as heterosexual relationships, so I was fine with it. I attended my first (and so far only) gay wedding in about 2001.
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WorseBeforeBetter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
51. Never. (n/t)
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Tumbulu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-25-09 11:38 PM
Response to Original message
52. I have never been against gay marriage, just marriage in general
I am against the legal stuff and mixing up ones assets, etc. It is just a weird concept to me and I cannot understand anyone wanting to do it.

Love, monogamy, all that, yes, but make written partnership agreements for all things financial and leave it at that. What sex one is should have nothing to do with it.
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 12:00 AM
Response to Original message
54. No such thing.
Sick of hearing about it.

It's marriage.
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Sheets of Easter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
55. There was a time when I was indifferent.
Edited on Sun Apr-26-09 12:03 AM by Sheets of Easter
When I first became aware of the issue of benefits for same-sex couples, I certainly had no problem with it. I was of the "live and let live" mindset.

So, I've gone from indifference to total support.
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DURHAM D Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-27-09 10:57 AM
Response to Original message
56. Yes - when my last girl friend wanted to get married.
I thought we were just dating...
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recoveringrepublican Donating Member (779 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-27-09 11:00 AM
Response to Original message
57. Nope, though if you judged my user name you might not believe me, but Gay marriage
was one of the things that made me really question if I was a real republican or just one because my daddy was and I was too lazy to pay attention to the rest of the world.

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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-27-09 11:01 AM
Response to Original message
58. No, never opposed
however, mine was more the sin of omission. I wasn't aware that it was a problem that needed solving. At the time, I didn't know anyone who was harmed by the system as it was. Now, of course I do. But then, in my childhood and early 20s, I wasn't aware, in general, that our laws only apply to certain populations and not to others, especially if those laws acknowledge rights.

I became aware of it the same time a lot of people did, during the height of the AIDs hysteria in the 80s. Then that got my egalitarian streak engaged.

}(
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Vidar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-27-09 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
59. No.
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lunatica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-27-09 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
60. No. My parents were very progressive and had friends from every persuasion and race
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Rebubula Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-27-09 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
61. No
I have had gay friends and associates most of my life. My best friend is gay (I am straight...mostly) and I have never understood the opposition to this idea.

I will never understand why anyone even cares who someone else loves...(to quote Kelly Bundy) 'It wobbles the mind'
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