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Uh-oh. The end is coming starting tomorrow. Gay marriage will be legal

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Bluzmann57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:10 AM
Original message
Uh-oh. The end is coming starting tomorrow. Gay marriage will be legal
Starting tomorrow, April 27, 2009, gay marriage will become legal in Iowa. As an Iowan, I am concerned that the whole fabric of my life will be smashed apart. My parents, who have been married for 54 years will probably leave each other. We will all become slothful and lazy and our state will become a hot bed for Las Vegas style gay marriages. All of us who are heterosexual will likely start lusting after gay people. The churches will no longer be able to function. The schools will all be pushing the "gay agenda" so that all of our youngsters will grow up gay. Damn I'm worried. This used to be a great state to live and work in. But since gay marriage is coming along to ruin us, I may have to move.
And in case anyone hasn't quite figured it out, this post is basically :sarcasm: Thank you for reading and have a great day. Say, I wonder if the fact that it's cloudy here today has anything to do with the gay marriage thing?
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WillParkinson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:14 AM
Response to Original message
1. Cloudy?
Are we talking like clouds of locusts? Clouds for 40 days and 40 nights of rain?
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Bluzmann57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 10:18 AM
Response to Reply #1
14. Of course
The fact that they are calling for rain for the next few days is no doubt because of that damned gay marriage thing. It can't have anything to do with the fact that it's April and it rains here in April.
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lostnotforgotten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:14 AM
Response to Original message
2. Worse Yet - All Republicans Instantaneously Become Democrats - That's Their Real Fear
eom
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geckosfeet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:16 AM
Response to Original message
3. If you are afraid - consider the poor farm animals.
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CoffeeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:17 AM
Response to Original message
4. Hey fellow Iowan...
Edited on Sun Apr-26-09 08:17 AM by CoffeeCat
Tomorrow, I plan to leave my husband and children--and take off to the courthouse with my neighbor Sheila.

Am I attracted to my neighbor Sheila? Not today. But tomorrow, it will happen. Iowans new gay-marriage laws will cause a magnetic
attraction between Sheila and I that will rock our suburban circle drive.

Step aside Nicolette Sheridan--the real "desperate housewives" have arrived--and they're naked. On your front lawn.

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Sal Minella Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:35 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. You're fortunate to have such a plan.
My heart goes out to all the middle-aged and older wives and husbands who will walk out on their heteromates tomorrow and begin walking the streets searching for a same-sex partner.

I live in an area of respectable older homes owned by respectable older couples, and I dread tomorrow -- gray haired, bewildered looking folks searching each other out and then dragging luggage full of "His" towels or "Hers" towels, underwear, Coro earrings, Old Spice aftershave, Whole Earth catalogues, etc. to the homes of the new partners.

It will be weeks, if not months, before things settle down again around here. I'm so grateful to be so long content as a celibate.
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Tim01 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:24 AM
Response to Original message
5. There won't be any new population in Iowa if everybody turns gay.
Who will do the farming?
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madrchsod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:40 AM
Response to Original message
7. we`ll be checking for them gays at the bridges...
i have one of them emails saying if we let them gay married into illinios well they`ll infect everyone with a gay disease just like them mezito`s bringing that pig flu across the border

we gon`a do our dammist to keep them them gay and mezto`s from infecting our state....ya come over here in illinios we`l protect ya...



i think we`ll get enlightened here in illinois one of these days...kinda embarrassing that the great state of illinois did`t do it first.
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cali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:42 AM
Response to Original message
8. let us know how it turns out
in Vemont marriage equality doesn't begin until September. Of course, we're a crunch granola birkenstock latte GLBT loving state already.
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Jennicut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 08:47 AM
Response to Original message
9. In CT its been legal for a few months but we are such "liberuls" here no one cares
The fact that its legal in a midwestern state rocks.
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NutmegYankee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 09:19 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. And the Governor (R) just signed a bill allowing it in CT.
The legislature voted to approve it after the court decision.
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Jennicut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. Jodi Rell is very moderate being that CT is in the northeast.
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MikeE Donating Member (637 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 09:03 AM
Response to Original message
10. Oh, and don't forget...
Abortion will be manditory, and I hear there will be long lines at the reeducation camps :crazy: :rofl:
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buzzycrumbhunger Donating Member (793 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 09:05 AM
Response to Original message
11. I can't remember the last time
. . . I wasn't embarrassed to admit where I grew up. (Well, maybe not embarrassed, but the inevitable pig questions get old.) Now, it seems like the kind of place one might even consider moving back to--if my family wasn't so oppressively catholic and I wanted to deal with the whole explanation of why I'm pagan. . .

I see FL (where I actually am sorry to say I live now) is laying some important groundwork, just in case this kind of liberal thinking should make inroads here. Looks like they're fixin' to close the loophole left by some lackadaisical legislators and make bestiality illegal once and for all. LOL. . . Best line: "Baa means no."
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Lyric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
15. Woohoo! Iowa gay marriage is a Taurus!
:hi:
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elle1sf Donating Member (45 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-26-09 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
16. haha and don't forget
That straight marriage will now be Illegal!!
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