An open letter of appreciation to Rush Limbaugh--boy he sure opened my eyes

[DFW]

Dear Rush,

I saw that you said that freeing that American captain off the coast of Somalia was no big deal, because all we did was to shoot some teenagers. Now this got me to thinking. A good number of American men in uniform fighting for you in Iraq (OK, not for you, for Dick Cheney, but you were cheerleading the invasion, so I’m not making much of a stretch) are teenagers.

Now I’ve seen some of those Marines and others, and they may have been nineteen years old or so, but they seemed pretty tough to me, and they certainly knew their way around the weaponry they were issued. If it weren’t for you, I would still be under this misguided impression. You have really opened my eyes up. Teenagers with guns are really just pansies, sitting ducks for anyone with a target rifle.

Who knew? I could have sworn those Somali pirates carried weapons because they were prepared to use them. It’s a good thing you are there to enlighten the likes of an ignorant member of the Democrat Party like me. NOW I know what we need to win these difficult conflicts. Obviously not pussy teenagers, nosiree.

We need obese, loudmouthed, cowardly, drug-addled fifty-somethings to go out there and kick some Anti-American soshalist kommist ass. I’d join up right beside you, except I don’t weigh half as much, and am drug-free. That’s a 4-F in your book. I’m ashamed to admit this, but I don’t even have a zit on my butt that strategically kept me from serving in Vietnam for the sly purpose of saving my fighting skills for Iraq 40 years later.

So while you’re over there getting yourself a few towel-heads for Uncle Sam and Christ, I just want you to know that we’re behind you all the way---all the way back in Texas, that is.

Your patriotic American,

DFW

[NewJeffCT]

1. I'd submit it as a LTTE to your local paper

great job

[DFW]

12. My local paper would say "huh?"

My local paper is the Rheinische Post of Düsseldorf. They haven't
the faintest idea who Limbaugh is, and under German law, anyone who
preaches the crap he does over the airwaves would be arrested for
incitement to violence and lose his license to to do anything more
than hold tea parties in his living room.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

2. A small, but technical, suggestion?

Your letter is wonderful, but the impediment that kept Limbaugh out of the military was, to be specific, UP his butt, not ON it. These details are significant, lending veracity to the rest of your very impressive missive.

Isn't there somewhere in your characterization of him, though, where you can use the word "moist," because every time I think of him - which, admittedly, is only when he's being discussed here at DU or by Keith Olbermann/Rachel Maddow - I think of something damp, wet, warm, not good?

I do believe I've just made myself ill ...............................

[madokie]

4. Yep me too

[Tangerine LaBamba]

6. I'm sorry ............

Try some regular Coke, with the fizz beaten out of it. And deep, cleansing breaths.

By the way, your signature line is excellent.....................

:toast:

[DFW]

14. The moment I read that line, I said "that sums it up!"

I was told that André Gide was sort of a strange duck, but that
line of his expressed how I feel about a LOT of things, and in
fewer words than I ever thought possible. It's a translation
from the French, but pretty accurate (my French is pretty good.
I have to be in Paris and/or Brussels about once a week for work).

[Tangerine LaBamba]

19. Your signature line

is pretty good, too.

But my response was to "madokie."

Some very good sig lines out today .........................

[DFW]

20. oops!

That'll teach me to post at 1 AM. Sorry about that!

[MajorChode]

5. It was a pilonidal cyst

Effectively it was a pustule that was persistent on his ass. Although calling it a zit is a bit simplistic, it's not all that far off.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

8. ON, not IN?

Oh, thank you. I've labored under that hateful misapprehension for far too long.

My apologies to the OP. Forgive my ignorance of the specifics regarding Limbaugh's ass.

All that sitting, and his vast bulk - that can't be good for his cyst, can it?

Now I've made myself queasy all over again .................

[MajorChode]

9. Even more hideous things reside inside, I reckon

It's bad enough just contemplating what's on the outside.

[DFW]

13. You just made ME ill!

:rofl:

[MajorChode]

3. To any normal rational person...

the drug addict Limbaugh has no more credibility than a street corner preacher. However wingnuts are not normal rational people.

[DFW]

21. Some of those street corner preachers go on to become millionaires

As did, come to think of it, the BFI himself. Credibility has nothing to do with it. Salesmanship does.

[SpiralHawk]

7. "STOP telling the truth about me & republicons." - Rush 'Draft-dodger' Limbaugh (R)

[louis-t]

10. That's 'Democrat Socialist Party' to you.

I think the Dems should act like they're actually going to put a vote together to change the name and then spend 5 minutes laughing before they move on to the really important stuff.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

11. K&R - ass pimpled draft dodger - no more, no less - & he's the face of the GOP - go figure.

[opihimoimoi]

15. LOL...the Face of the GOP is Zit Butt

[DFW]

16. Sounds like a hip name for a new brand of hemorrhoid ointment n/t

[opihimoimoi]

17. Send thanks to CATWOMAN.....she was the first to use "Zitt Butt"

not sure how she spelled it....

[DFW]

18. Noted, thanks!

I don't think the spelling is of vital importance. I don't the trademark
application has been submitted yet.