Here's what caused the swine flu:

[Smith_3]

The conspiracy between FEMA and CIA were circling over Area 51 in their black helicopters. They spotted big foot while he was about to dig up the spot where they had hidden the missig plane from their 9-11 coverup. So they decided they would send Elvis to deal with it. Elvis got annoyed because he was just relaxing in his arm chair in front of the moon landing coulisse and thinking about the poker match he had just lost against the gray alien and the men in black when he receive the call. "Shit" he though, "just like that time they made me clean up after the faked JFK autopsy". On the way to his car he stepped in a chupacabra turd. On his way out he had to pass through the office where the echelon system was manufacturing fake vaccinations to infect people with HIV. Bits of the chupacabra turd got into the ventilation system and caused a circut to blow, which again caused a malfunction in the program which then started putting out an altered form of the virus that could infect cows. A herd of cattle nearby was infected. The virus caused the cows to eat circles into corn fields. Some wild swine then went amok and mutilated the cows and caught a mutated form of the virus.

[liberalhistorian]

1. LOL, yep, that about covers

it all!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

BTW, how much have you had to drink tonight? :evilgrin:

[Kindigger]

2. There's no monkeys

That story has to have a monkey. I held my breath all the way to the end, waiting for the part about the monkey :(

[KillCapitalism]

3. The world should just go Kosher.

Going Kosher = problem solved!:think:

[Sebastian Doyle]

4. As long as I can sleep in on Saturdays and still eat an occasional cheesebuger

Never ate much pork to begin with, and who the Hell can afford shellfish? And if they made Kosher Coke all year around, I could stop paying twice the price for the Mexican stuff.

[KillCapitalism]

5. Well I must admit.

I also mix my meat & cheese.

I mostly avoid pork products after seeing a documentary show on pig farming. After seeing that I was like :puke:

[Recovered Repug]

6. That story is pure BS.

Area 51 is in the desert and everyone knows Bigfoot lives in the forest.

[billyoc]

7. Damn.

I KNEW it!

[zeemike]

8. That story is funny alright but.

It serves to discredit all conspiracy theory's.
And that provides cover to any real conspiracies that have or will occur in the future.
Ridicule is often used as a tool when anyone gets too close to the truth.

[cali]

9. and ridicule is frequently used to mock the absurd

the conspiracy theories I've seen here re this outbreak of flu, are without exception, deserving of ridicule.

[zeemike]

14. And why is that?

Is ridicule all you got?
It is like children on a playground with a kid that wears thick glasses...they can't find anything wrong with him so they resort to ridicule.

[Silent3]

11. Conspiricists discredit conspiracy theories

If they're ever right about anything, they will be right in the same sense a broken clock is right twice per day.

Yes, conspiracies are real. Conspiracies happen all the time. What I'm deriding is Grand Conspiracy, run by THEM, the all-powerful puppeteers who pull all the strings, who run a world where nothing is coincidence, where everything is engineered to serve THEIR master plan.

[zeemike]

13. And you included the JFK assassination in there

So I assume you think that is all wild conspiracies as well.
But that is the whole purpose of having the most wild of them out there...to discredit the ones that do actually happen.

[Silent3]

16. Ah, so it's all planned...

THEY create the wild conspiracies as cover for the real conspiracies. After all, who could believe that ordinary people could come up with all of the batshit crazy stuff out there all on their own?

At any rate, I never mentioned JFK once.

[zeemike]

18. Cut and past from your OP

"made me clean up after the faked JFK autopsy"

And no they don't have to create the crazy ones all they have to do is point to them and lump them altogether like you did.

[Silent3]

19. I didn't post the OP

You seem to have me confused with the person who started this thread. Perhaps you're assuming that we're all in on it together? :)

[zeemike]

20. Oops sorry I got confused.

Post in haste and repent my paste.

[Odin2005]

22. The BS "theories" descredit themselves because they are paranoid fantasies.

[uberblonde]

10. You missed a part!

You left out the part about it being engineered in a government lab.

[Junkdrawer]

12. When the number of "debunkers" exceed the number of "conspiracy theorists"...

I get suspicious.

:tinfoilhat:

[trotsky]

15. Total bullshit.

Any theory that doesn't include the Illuminati is null and void.

[Silent3]

17. Meh

The Illuminati are mere pawns for Big Yak.

[lunatica]

21. Damn those illegal alien chupacabras! Fucking forinners

They just mess everything up

[ellie]

23. Yea, but what

about the chemtrails?