Slumps: How did you Climb out of Yours?

[Mike 03]

(This is amended and x-posted from the lounge, where it was not of much interest, just in case it gets some response here; I would love to see if anyone can identify with it)

I was listening to this author on XM radio who'd interviewed golfers (and some other athletes) about how they got out of slumps and his book turned into a more complicated study of how people, in general, climb out of bad slumps they hit in mid-life (usually in midlife).

(By the way, I ordered the book, but hasn't arrived yet.)

If you ever found yourself in a slump, how did you climb out and how long did it take?



You are free to define "slump" however you want, but for me it's got these symptoms:

1. Malaise and depression
2. Difficulty sleeping and concentrating
3. Lack of enthusiasm for any particular projects or things I used to love to do
4. The feeling of "losing my way."
5. Less healthy eating, drinking and exercising habits
6. Lack of energy, wanting to sleep a lot
7. Or even why my body should have energy, my mind feels exhausted
8. Not looking forward to anything.

My slump has been going on for a long time: at least six months, and closer to a year, probably.

How did you get out of your slump?
How long did your slump last?
Any advice?

ON EDIT:

I forgot to mention: I KEEP TRYING strategies. I'm not sitting on my hands. Every day I make plans, lists, try something new. Read a new book, listen to a new lecture or meditation. I just keep falling back. It almost makes it worse that I'm trying and failing, than if I were to just accept it because it's more frustrating to try to get out and fail over and over again.

[knowbody0]

1. volunteer!

at what ever strikes you. Kids, geezers, parks. there's tons of stuff. that's what I did, and let me tell you, I had crashed hard. weak at the knees, difficulty breathing, ringing in my ears. total dispair. it gave me wings to do good for others. soup kitchen?

[roody]

8. animal shelter too!

[Taverner]

2. Do some hard drugs

Seriously, the last time I was in one, I did that. It didn't exactly help things, but it didn't exactly make it worse either...

[Mike 03]

30. It's funny you should say that. When I was in this situation before, what yanked me out was

falling in love with working at an animal shelter, volunteering five days a week. It was the best time of my life.

[abq e streeter]

3. I rented a lot of really funny movies--I'm prone to depression and laughter really is great medicine

including lotsa 3 stooges----I find that laughing at myself for even laughing in the 1st place like with stooges movies helps. Hard to stay too down when you're laughing. First time I saw Animal House I was mired in a wicked depression and it snapped me out of it for months .

[MannyGoldstein]

4. Getting A New Job, Blue Light Therapy, Do Things With Others

These are the things that pulled me out of a pretty good case of feeling down and out.

New job is self-evident - our jobs are what we do most days during "prime time" - it helps to have something that's an adventure each day.

Doing things with others - the interpersonal interaction is important. Showing up and observing doesn't count.

Blue light therapy: http://www.amazon.com/Zadro-Sunlight-Personal-Artificial-Therapy/dp/B001AHMN34/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=hi&qid=1240963576&sr=8-2 Sounds absurd but it works wonders for me and a few other people close to me - there's actually a medical basis for it working which I can detail if you want.

YMMV.

Good luck!

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

5. I am going to make a suggestion that worked for me and yet probably will

be grounds for mockery because it sounds like something out of one of my favorite movies - "What About Bob?"
The Richard Dreyfus character in "what About Bob" wrote a self-help book called "Baby Steps".

Well, I'm here to tell you that the Baby Steps theory works and is one subscribed to by physical de-cluttering experts.

Your house is a mess. Don't say "I have to clean the whole house"

Instead say "I have to clean the bedroom"

If that is too daunting say "I have to clean out my chest of drawers"

If that is too daunting say " I will sort through and clean 1 drawer." and then do it.

Then clean out another drawer. Etc. Etc.

This works. Find the tiniest piece you can chew off and have success with. Don't be embarrassed if your goal is something as stupid as "I will walk up and down the driveway twice". The important thing is relearning that you can set a goal and meet it.

It works with exercise, it works with diet, it works with pretty much anything. The pieces you can chew off successfully will gradually become larger and larger without you even recognizing it.

Good luck

[nadinbrzezinski]

6. That works I will add exercise

[Quantess]

21. I second that.

Outdoors is more fulfilling than the gym, IMO.

[nadinbrzezinski]

22. I use both, back on the horse as it were

after a while of not... no, I wasn't bad, just got hurt

And lord it does a world of difference

Even my eating habits change

[Beam Me Up]

19. This is good advice, thanks. n/t

[intheflow]

7. Mine lasted two years.

Still slipping into it occasionally but really I only came out of it with counseling, anti-depressants, and living in an area that gets 300 days of sun per year.

[Fire1]

18. Sunshine works for me, too.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

9. Get together with friends,

do a big cooking thing together, smoke some herb, sip some wine or vodka or whatever you like, talk, talk, talk, talk, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, and the most important thing of all:

DANCE!

Also, the things you listed sound terribly solitary and self-involved. Sounds like you've got the time and the wherewithal to be a Big Brother to a little boy who needs more than you can even imagine, or a volunteer at a nursing home, library, food bank, homeless shelter,

I suspect the reason you're failing is because you're doing things that will only reflect back on you. I've gotten more out of people who were in such lousy shape (in all kinds of ways) than they ever got out of me. Giving is part of our responsibility on this earth, and you are not going to find any answers in books. You might, though, find them in the smile of an old woman who can't cook for herself when you deliver her Meals on Wheels (or some comparable program), in the eyes of a little boy when you take him to a movie that leaves him thrilled and happy, in the soft words of a homeless person when you make sure he has something to eat, a safe and clean place to sleep, someone who cares about him.

We all hit slumps, but when we stay in them, I've noticed - at least in my case - my head goes higher and higher up my own ass, and I'm finally disgusted with myself. I made a place for myself at a local hospital where I went once or twice a week to read to little sick kids.

Sick, by themselves in that big, scary place, hurting and so little, and they saved my life, over and over ..........................

[s-cubed]

10. I've had a number of such "slumps" over the years.

Your symptoms are classic depression. This is an illness, not a character defect, so start thinking of it as that, and treating it that way. Your brain is broken, and it needs help!

I've had therapy, drugs (legal), and tried to cure myself. I needed therapy and anti-depressants. By n0w, I've concluded that my brain chemistry is just off, and just as I need to take a thyroid pill every day, I need to take my anti-depressant. I don't need therapy anymore. In the past it was very helpful in unlearning bad habits that contributed to and prolonged my slumps, but not now.

Studies show that the combination of therapy and drugs is the most effective treatment, so if you have that luxury, go for it. I would recommend a cognitive therapist: you are not looking for someone to analyze everything that ever happened to you, but someone who will teach you how to cope and how to re-direct your thinking in healthier ways. You will also need a psycho-pharmacologist, since generally doctors need to prescribe these drugs. I'd recommend against just getting them form you GP. Also, before taking one, ask if it has severe withdrawal symptoms.

If you can get yourself to exercise, that has also been shown to help. If it's any consolation, for most people depression eventually gets better, but it's hell while it lasts. I would not wait, because it can easily become life-threatening. What you need to understand, is that depression warps your thinking: you literally cannot thing straight, which is why some people give up. In extreme cases of depression, your brain is so slowed down, that your speech slows down too.

As for other advice, one dr said "it doesn't matter what you do, just to something." I agree with the advice to volunteer. I found Mozart wonderful: he's such an upbeat musician. At various times, I had to give up totally on the news I could not handle it.

[Odin2005]

11. Volunteering at the local rape & abuse crisis center and being there for my friend who was raped.

It's has been very hard to keep myself together these past 3 weeks, but I'm surviving...

[dustbunnie]

12. 2 through 8 are just symptoms of number 1 on your list.

Seeing someone about that may be the way to go. Seriously.

- I've gotten through minor slumps by just wallowing in them till I got sick of it. The lack of pressure to do or be anything is sometimes all it takes to replenish.

- Also, exercising can help, although if that's one of the failures at this point, it may only make it worse.

- Fall in love.

[demigoddess]

13. Zoloft--sometimes it is just chemical and you have to accept it.

believe me if it is biochemical you can't climb out of it. Sometimes your symptoms mean burn-out. That takes some rest and recreation to get a handle on. Believe me, I have been there with both of those. Also, if you are taking some kind of medication, it could be a side effect. I had terrible depression with Zetia, even while taking Zoloft.

[Skip Intro]

14. I looked in the mirror one day and asked myself a couple of questions...

Did I want to live my life in the state I was in?

The answer was no.

Who could change things for me?

The answer was me, only me.

I had to realize I had no power, or very little power, over events outside the boundary of my skin. But inside that boundary, I had complete control, if I wanted it, to how I let things affect me, to assign importance, to dwell on things in my personal life that don't sit right with me, or to note such things, but decide to focus on the good and joy that life can deliver instead.

It is a lot about attitude.

When you look around and see all the seemingly happy people, remember, you have the choice to be in control of your happiness. You can just refuse to be in that rut any longer.

When I came out of the deepest depression I've ever experienced, and I could never find out why I felt that way, I built a floor, mentally, below which I could never sink again. That has stuck with me for years now. Not that I don't get bad news, or don't take all the bumps and bruises that come with life, I just don't dwell on them any more. I take the hits and take the sour moods that come, but I don't dwell there.

No one is more important than you. And you are in control, if you choose to be, to a great extent, over your reaction to the things life throws at you. You can be happy. Let go of all the symptoms and stuff. Happiness does exist. People do live happily. And nobody's stopping you from doing it too.

Decide your rut is over. Waste no more time on it.

[Beam Me Up]

24. Thanks for starting this thread.

I've been in a slump for at least the last year. I mean, really bad to the point I'm getting quite worried about myself. I'm addicted to being online (and especially here at DU reading) for one thing but it is bigger than that. In lots of ways I feel disillusioned about a lot of things. The eight years of neocon rule really almost put me over the edge. The election of Obama has been a bright point -- and I don't have unrealistic expectations about what he can accomplish. But I'm also a bit horrified at the MESS this country is in as a result of having been screwed over by a bunch of nazi-fascist CREEPS for so long -- and that the American people let this happen. Really pisses me off.

There is some good advice in this thread. Not always easy to implement it, though. I know I have some self-destructive tendencies that I don't fully understand that go way back to childhood.

I have been down before and have managed to pull myself out of it. Attitude -- believing one can, really wanting it -- is a big part of it. It seems much harder this time, though. Perhaps because I'm 62 and no longer "looking forward" to the future. Part of me feels it is all "down hill" from here -- and that is the WRONG attitude. Reclaiming my physical and psychological health has to be an aim. I have to want to live again, want to enjoy the rest of my life -- however long that may be. Just had a friend, two years younger than myself, die of a heart attack completely unexpectedly -- that was a shocker. Sometimes it takes bit of a shock to 'snap' us out of our slumps, I think. The advice about taking things in small bites is a good one. Also nurturing the right inner attitude. And, for me, getting away from this obsessive sitting here and reading and sometimes posting on forums, etc. Very bad on lots of levels, I think.

[Beam Me Up]

25. Sorry, I meant that to be in reply to the OP -- my bad. :(

[Ilsa]

15. Exercise, eating right, getting enough sleep, and finally

started meds for depression. I have conquered depression before on my own, but I think I finally had reached a point where my brain was too broken and needed Lexapro to jump start it. It helped. I've been on them for five years, I guess, but I have weaned my dosage down quite a bit and I'm taking Omega-3 and Omega complex to help. I think it does help.

[roody]

16. Go for a walk or a bike ride.

[lunatica]

17. I got a divorce

My advice is to define what is happening in your life that makes you feel like your soul is dying. Writing only the truth in a journal with the intent of actually getting at the truth (which you can later burn when you find there's a lot of darkness, anger and pain which you don't want to hang on to) helps. You have to be brutally honest with yourself - not destructive, just honest.

Then once you know what truly ailes you, do what you need to do. Divorce it.

Mine happened to be a soulless marriage, so my divorce was the real thing. That was in 1995. I have not regretted it in the least.

[blaze]

20. Circular thinking

It's easy to get caught up in a circular sort of thinking when you don't allow any room for any input.

You think the same things over and over and over again and give yourself the same answers.

But I think by coming here and posting your concerns, you've already broken free of that cycle.

Keep asking.

I think you'll be ok.

[Mari333]

23. Never got out of the slump, here.

Ive just accepted being in it.

[Beam Me Up]

27. hug

:hug:

I think we do have to accept who we are but at the same time, perhaps not settle for less than the truth.

Sorry, don't mean to sound like some cheap self-help book, which that probably does. Its just that often those of us who get down in funks really don't see ourselves clearly at all. We're hurting, for whatever reason, and we become identified with that hurt and don't see that there is more in us than that. The "acceptance" isn't objective but distorted through our own subjectivity.

I don't know. I've always been a "moody" type. I used to get very depressed but then, after a lot of therapy years ago, kind of broke through that. However, the last eight years have been really rough for me emotionally. Now I feel like I have to try and get myself out of this whole I've barricaded myself in -- focused so much on politics and the mess the world and this country are in. Time to get back to my life -- if I can find it again.

Best wishes for you!

[dysfunctional press]

26. talk to a dr., and get some meds.

as they generally will have the most experience with it, a psychiatrist might be the best bet, especially if you think that talking it out with someone might help...or even a psychologist who can who can either prescribe something, or have your physician do so.

the newer types of anti-depressants can have some amazing results, and you shouldn't attach any type of stigma to them or their use(not to say that you do/would).

my most current 'slump' is mostly a 'rest-of-my-life' one, as i have chronic pain and an arthritic spine to live with...i just have to settle for 'high points' along the way. i find that the change os season from winter to spring & summer is one of the best medicines- especially when you live where there IS a winter.

[Canuckistanian]

28. "Climb"? "Out"?

What are these words you speak of?

[handmade34]

29. don't give up...

Mike03- I haven’t been here long but know that you have had a lot on your plate for awhile. It would be surprising if you weren’t feeling some malaise. I unfortunately inherited a propensity towards depression from my mother and have fought it all my life. There are many techniques to work through depression/slumps and you WILL find the one,or more,things that work for you. Here are some that have worked for me:
Have contact with people – friends or strike up a conversation with the clerk at the store.

Walk outside, take your shoes off and feel the earth and know you are a real part of it.
Drink lots of cool water – no soda

No processed food – lots of fruits, vegetables and whole grain.
Herbs- ginseng, ginger, licorice, St. John’s Wort, mint, (I drink a teaspoon of cayenne in V-8 every morning)

No chemicals (drugs) while depressed
Whatever it takes to get 8 hours of sleep at night (not too much, not too little)

Listen to Sly and the Family Stone or Gloria Estefan or…
Listen to or read Baxter Black or listen to ‘Wait, wait, don’t tell me on NPR.
Learn something new, however simple. Play games that have a real possibility of making you laugh – maybe twister with someone you trust or duck, duck, goose with some kids. Read a short book to a kid.

Give a homeless person a Happy Meal. Read poetry that you can relate to, maybe Ogdon Nash.
I go to the bookstore and hang out and look at books about things I know I am passionate about and love, but forgot in the midst of my depression.

Once when I was particularly troubled, I would stand in front of the mirror and manipulate my face to create a smile so I didn’t forget how (that was a long time ago and hope it is not that bad for you)

Know that there is a tangible reason for your malaise. Ask for help repeatedly until it helps.