G-175 Nations Convene To Discuss How Things Can't Possibly Be Any Worse

[raccoon]

APRIL 27, 2009 |

Onion News Network:

HARARE, ZIMBABWE—In a hotel ballroom eight miles outside Zimbabwe's capital city, representatives from the world's 175 least powerful nations met this week to discuss how everything—from political unrest, to insurmountable debt, to bloody social strife—can't get any worse.

The annual summit, held in a different embattled and deeply troubled country each year, is aimed at addressing a wide range of issues currently facing the world's most helpless leaders. According to organizers, this year's G-175 will focus primarily on the challenges of global inequality, most notably how much of it there is, and how almost nothing can be done about it.

"We have gathered here this evening to address the utter hopelessness we all face," said Bangladeshi prime minister Sheikh Hasina, who presided over the four-day conference. "Whether stricken by crippling inflation, devastating war, or horrific spells of famine, it is time for us to come together as one and agree that pretty much everything is in the toilet." ...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/g_175_nations_convene_to_discuss?utm_source=a-section

[pscot]

1. Sheik Hasina was detained by Zimbabweian police

shortly after he finished speaking. Prime Minister Robert Mugabe said he ordered the arrest because he felt the Sheik's remarks were a slur against the people of Zimbabwie and an underhanded effort to undermine his personal authority. The Prime Minister assured reporters that the Sheik would almost certainly be released after his "attitude adjustment" was completed. He expressed complete confidence that the Sheik would issue a more positive statement upon his release. "We use only the most up to date enhanced interrogation techniques developed by the American CIA" he noted. He also wished the Sheik a speedy recovery and expressed the hope that the Sheik's ability to express himself in complete sentences would return eventually. The Prime Minister also issued a warning to the conference delegates.
"Things can always get worse" he said.