Elizabeth Edwards writes about husband's affair in book, 'Resilience'

[cali]

After the former presidential hopeful confessed his betrayal, Elizabeth Edwards writes in her new book, "I cried and screamed, I went to the bathroom and threw up."

Elizabeth, 59, who is terminally ill with cancer, speaks in far more detail than before about her husband's infidelity in her new memoir, "Resilience," due to be published May 12 by Broadway Books. A copy was obtained by the Daily News.

Despite feeling deeply deceived, Elizabeth Edwards nonetheless publicly stood by her husband's side, lending his candidacy the aura of a warm, loving family life.

But she had actually wanted him to quit the race to protect the family. Edwards admitted the hanky-panky to her days after declaring his candidacy in 2006 - almost a year before the National Enquirer reported it.

<snip>

Even when Edwards confessed to his wife, he lied, claiming he had slipped up just once, Elizabeth writes. His original version of the story "left most of the truth out," she writes.


<snip>

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2009/04/29/2009-04-29_i_cried__screamed.html

[Jeep789]

1. If he had already confessed to her, wasn't she guilty of lying

to us? I feel for her but this could have cost us the election and in my opinion, the country.

[cali]

3. I don't know. She kept silent, but would one really have a reasonable

expectation that she'd betray her husband? As E.M. Forster said "If I had to choose between betraying a friend and betraying my husband, I hope I'd have the courage to betray my country.". She was between a rock and a hard place and suffering. For me, all the blame lies with him.

[Jeep789]

5. I understand the sentiment but wasn't she, in essence, betraying

her children and mine? That is what I am having a hard time with. Yes, the fault was his but she can't really claim moral superiority here.

[cali]

6. I don't see how she was betraying her children and I certainly

don't see how she was betraying yours, except in the sense that se was choosing loyalty to her husband above any other consideration. But again, could one really reasonably expect her to go public with this information?

[CTyankee]

13. She was in a tough situation. And I think we all put ourselves in that position in our minds

and say "I would have done it differently" but we never truly know what it is like to be inside that bubble.

I supported John Edwards initially. Even after the initial reporting of the Enquirer I refused to believe it. When it came out I was pretty shocked myself, and I usually don't shock easily.

Their story originally was so beautiful and he was saying things that I believed in politically with all my heart and the Bush Administration had driven me into such a wilderness that I allowed myself to be deluded. Perhaps she was living a delusion also, thinking that the affair would never be revealed.

Oh what a tangled web we weave...

[WI_DEM]

15. No, she wasn't, but he was. It wasn't up to her to come clean it was her cheating husband

Why are you trying to put all of this on her?

[colinmom71]

28. No. She probably felt she was protecting her kids...

I'm not sure if you know how hard dealing with infidelity by a parent can be for kids. Myself, if I could protect my child from what I went through, twice, I would do whatever it took. Especially considering that the Edwards family were by that time public figures, that maternal sense of protectionism must have driven into hyperdrive by the time John Edwards chose to run for the Presidency yet again...

Elizabeth Edwards did not betray anyone. Only her husband owns that role. And however they have worked that issue out between them is entirely their own personal, family business...

[marshall]

36. She was probably in denial

Battling cancer AND a philandering husband while raising young children in the spotlight is extremely stressful.

[Captain Hilts]

9. People love to blame the victim here. I don't get it. nt

[cali]

11. I don't either.

I don't see her as having any of the blame at all.

[WI_DEM]

16. My sentiments exactly.

[Jeep789]

44. BS. I did not blame her for his infidelity or lies

I do blame her for knowing that his infidelity would in all likelihood ruin our chances in the election had he been chosen as our candidate. She claims she knew about the infidelity and she was worried that it could cost the election yet she campaigned with him and allowed him to use her and the kids and their portrayal of the perfect family as campaign fodder.

She lied to us and put us in danger of another GOP term in the White House and I find that appalling.

[Inspired]

7. John owns these lies, not Elizabeth.

It isn't fair to put this burden on her.

[Jeep789]

45. John owns his and she owns hers. nt

[Inspired]

46. When has she lied? I'm confused.

During the campaign she didn't announce her husband's infidelity. Is that lying?

Good Lord. John is scum but leave this woman alone. She has suffered enough and doesn't need to be judged. No one has suffered due to Elizabeth's actions. Especially your children. Good grief.

[Jeep789]

47. She campaigned with him as the perfect family

Chit, campaigning for him at all when she knew (and said so in her book) that it was likely to come out and result in us losing the election if he was chosen as our candidate was wrong. Do you realize the danger she put us in? Another GOP term and the country would have definitely been sunk.

[Inspired]

48. We were never in any danger because Edwards was never going to win. Never.

In spite of MY efforts and money.

[jsamuel]

34. .

[Smith_3]

2. I'm just glad he wasn't our final candidate. nt

[Inspired]

4. So many things about this campaign now make sense to me.

I was very close to this campaign. From the beginning there were little signs that things were off. I saw firsthand moments when John and Elizabeth didn't seem to connect. Times when Elizabeth wasn't there. Something was missing and I didn't pay attention or I made excuses for it. I should have followed my instincts back then and saved myself a lot of time, energy and money.

I hope Elizabeth has found some peace. She is a remarkable woman. I also hope that John finds some peace with all of this. But that won't happen until he starts accepting - and telling - the truth.

[Berry Cool]

8. I agree. I think it's awful that he's kind of left Elizabeth holding the bag,

responsible for their entire public reputation, while he slinks off with his tail between his legs.

We've seen men like Gingrich leave their wives when they were terribly ill. How much better is it to cheat on one while she's terribly ill, yet expect her to stick by you to serve your own ends?

[cali]

10. Although that certainly doesn't speak well of JE, that's between them

for me. I never liked him; always saw him as nothing but a political opportunist with no real values. The thing about the sleazy affair for me was JE's complete willingness to fuck the dem party and the entire country to feen his overweaning ego and boundless ambition.

[Skidmore]

18. What is he doing now?

[dustbunnie]

12. Why do people feel the need to wash their dirty knickers in public?

What is the reason for publishing this new work? Is it some kind of catharsis, or healing thing to tell an entire nation the details of your husband's sexual affairs? I really hate that part of the whole Oprah culture. It's voyeuristic and cheap.

I probably shouldn't speak as perhaps the rest of the book is worthwhile, but the details given in this story seem to imply much of the book is salacious tabloid trash. Sadly, calling the "other woman" pathetic is nothing more than self-denial, and considering what he's done, somehow her saying that he looks at her as though she's the most beautiful woman in the world just rings hollow. Yuch. Makes me pity her.

[cali]

14. that's actually an interesting question.

I'm guessing it's partly catharsis and perhaps a need to justify herself. I agree it's an unappealing cultural tic, but I don't think you can assume that much of the book is salacious- in fact, that's the wrong word to apply- but I agree with you to a large extent, and the bit about him looking at her like she's the most beautiful woman in the world, is cringe inducing. Not to mention that the cries from some here that this is their business, now become moot. she's made it our business.

[Captain Hilts]

26. You have to get your side of it out there before someone else manufactures a version. nt

[izquierdista]

17. It's an American thing

It started with the Puritans being interested in what everyone was doing with their naughty bits.

[Canuckistanian]

19. I don't get it either

Do we really need to know the intimate details?

And what does John think about this? Did they both agree to put this in the book?

[karynnj]

29. I agree with you

When everything came out, there was a People's magazine article that said she stayed with him because the kids will need him - especially given her health. It also spoke of her desire that the affair not be what he is remembered for. This suggests that, in addition to tabloid details, this book will possibly be somewhat spin, trying to create the best story possible from the facts.

The timeline has never made sense. If it were true, Edwards continued to run:
-after his wife asked him not too
- after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer (remember his comments then that she too wanted him to continue)
- when (at the time of the diagnosis), he was running a distant third and was raising FAR less money than Obama and HRC

It may be that JRE looks at any woman as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world. (Just as there are some people who look like they are fascinated and impressed by what anyone says to them - which can't possibly be true. It is a gift if a politician has this.)

[kentuck]

20. I remember having a discussion with my wife...

about how uncaring and distant John Edwards was to her when she would introduce him at different events. I think it may have been posted here on DU also? It may have been more obvious to all of us Edwards supporters if we had looked a little deeper into these interactions? Perhaps?

(edited for clarification)

[cali]

21. I think that's pretty darn perceptive of you

it wasn't obvious to me at all.

[kentuck]

25. cali...

other post edited for a little more clarification. Although it was there, it was not obvious to most of us at the time. Although, it may have been surfacing somewhat in our subconscious?

[Inspired]

24. I actually sensed that too but always found ways to excuse it.

Now it is crystal clear to me.

[karynnj]

30. I noticed it looking at some of the 2004 videos as well

BUT did not take it as anything about their relationship - I posted about it once - over on the JK group, because the spin in 2004 was that the Edwards were a perfect couple and the Kerrys' relationship was treated negatively. (I had first seen it is 2004, watching a joint Iowa appearance of the two couples.)

My feeling then was that different people have different comfort zones in public and their is no correlation to their real relationship.

(I posted this here - http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=273&topic_id=105954&mesg_id=105958 )
"I wonder how they filmed that. (One side note: all those repeated comments that the Kerrys were less comfortable with each other - look at the 2 couples in the short segment that they are in the back of the train - Kerry and Teresa are closer at the beginning than the Edwards - and when they move so the candidates are together, Kerry briefly has his arm around Teresa. The Edwards, in that segment, never seem to touch. This is NOT to say anything about the relationships - both seem very very strong - simply that even in the public footage, the comment is not true.)"

[ShortnFiery]

22. If she'd of had the strength to divorced his cheating, narcissistic ass, I'd read her book.

I still remember her quoted as saying that America wasn't ready for a Black President. Perhaps it also was ready for "a cheating" President on his spouse. :shrug:

I wish the best for them, outside of the political spotlight.

[cali]

23. ugh. that's hateful of you.

not to mention judgmental. who are you to judge what another person does regarding their marriage?

[ShortnFiery]

27. No it's not. It's an opinion. Of course, I would have made a less than stellar political wife.

... and hopefully, so will my daughter.

ANY MAN who embarrasses you publically by serial adultery and fathering a child with a mistress deserves to be "taken to the cleaners" by a good divorce lawyer.

Please forgive me but I view it like I view "abused women" who are too attached to the men to leave them.

The nicest comment I can say about it is "it's a shame" that they don't think highly enough of themselves to leave these SICK serial abusers. :shrug:

I don't blame her but I don't want her lack of courage to serve as "a model" for other women who have serial adulterous husbands.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

31. You are calling Edwards a serial adulterer? I haven't heard of any other women he cheated with. Are

there? As I understand it to be, serial adulterers cheat with multiple women/men. Just curious.

[ShortnFiery]

32. Given the fact that Edwards has fathered a child with his mistress, I wouldn't consider

it a stretch that he's had a little practice in the covert art of "marital infidelity." :shrug:

It doesn't matter now, Elizabeth is staying with him and she's terminally ill. What kind of a smarmy human being can't control his/her urges when their spouse is suffering with cancer ... soon he'll be "on the market" again. :puke:

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

37. Frankly, even now, he turns my stomach and I supported and donated to him.

Much of my support of JE was because of Elizabeth. I felt she was such a wonderful person, and because she seemed to have faith in him, I had faith too.

I recall something being written about how his girlfriend didn't feel she had long to "wait" because of Elizabeth's illness. Like vultures waiting for death.

[NorthernSpy]

33. I think we have a right to be angry with both of them.

Elizabeth Edwards has been the victim of her husband's infidelity. She's certainly not to blame for his cheating.

But there's another aspect to this. The only reason that Edwards was able to run for president was that she was willing to help him cover up the scandal.

What that means is that if Edwards had done better in the primaries, we could have been stuck with him at the top of the ticket when the scandal eventually broke.

It's sobering to think that we could have gone down in flames for John Edwards' ego. And Elizabeth Edwards' own actions would have helped to bring us that disaster.

When you come right down to it, I think I have more sympathy for all the millions of Americans whose vital interests were at stake than I have for one political couple who mistakenly thought it was all about themselves.

[Jeep789]

42. That is exactly what I was trying to point out above

She helped put us in danger of choosing a guy who would have cost us the election and she knew that was a possibility. Plus he used her and his family and the fake portrayal of being a close loving family while running. The fact that she knew about it and allowed him to use her for this purpose doesn't sit well with me.

[MicaelS]

43. You nailed it exactly, thank you.

It's about BOTH of them, not just JE. I don't excuse either spouse's actions. They both lied to the American people. I'm sorry EE has cancer, her husband cheated on her, humiliated her, and fathered a child on another woman. But she is no saint, despite some on DU portraying her as such.

[jsamuel]

35. As much as John Edwards is a jackass for what he did...

I still know that many of his policy positions were the best of all the candidates. If Obama or Clinton only had his policies, I wouldn't have been disappointed by the whole thing.

[cali]

38. I always saw Edwards as a complete phony- having nothing to do

with his cheating. He was a moderate to conservative dem in the Senate. He was one of the chief dem cheerleaders for the war. He not much liberal about him. I wouldn't have trusted him to carry out his spoken 2008 policies for a second.

[jsamuel]

40. OK, obviously I disagreed.

[ecstatic]

39. Are they staying together?

If so, why the book? She is already rich. Why drag the story out?

[mnhtnbb]

41. Word around Chapel Hill is that he was living at the beach; she's here with the kids.

BUT I haven't heard anything lately on whether that's changed.