On Salamanders and Ideologues: Newt Gingrich and the 23% Republican Minority

[stevedeshazer]

I went into the kitchen
And what did I see?
A silly little salamander
Wiggling frantically

He wiggled and wiggled
Trying to get traction
Trying to run
He didn't know he was the greatest attraction

The cats thought he was a new toy
They just wanted to play with him
Nothing more
Just make him spitty and throw him to the floor

We rescued him from the floor
We threw him out the door
The cats sniffed all around the floor
They just wanted to play a little more

He ran as fast as he could
He ran so fast he left dust clouds
We never saw him any more
Once he was out the front door

'Silly Salamander'
by Melissa Crosson

----

Even the most casual observers of American politics among us by now have noticed the elevation, resurrection, and near canonization of one Newton Leroy "Newt" Gingrich as the voice of the fear mongering Republican wing of a Republican party that should, in a just world, be permanently defeated, demoralized, and defunct. Perhaps Newt may best be described as the 'N' in the RNC, that is to say, the dead ideological center of party of Rush, Newt and Cheney.

Any savvy person who has been politically aware over the last decade or more knows the story of Newt Gingrich. But to reiterate briefly, he came to power after the 1994 mid-term election Republican takeover of the House of Representatives. As Speaker of the House from 1995-1999, he largely neutralized the Presidency of Bill Clinton. Pushing welfare "reform", regressive trade agreements, union busting and, to top it all off, impeachment hearings, Gingrich dragged Clinton through a second term that one might easily characterize as lackluster at best, and at worst setting the table for our current economic disaster.

Thanks to the regressive Republican-dominated House, no American alive and aware in 1998 will ever forget the silly Oval Office transgressions of President Clinton. And thanks to a compliant media machine controlled by Republicans, every kid in America old enough to wonder learned about getting a blow job, courtesy of the Party of Family Values led by their glorious adulterous Speaker.

Yet Gingrich today seems impervious to public criticism, and has effectively positioned himself as a leader of the party he once brought to disgrace. A man of tremendous personal failings, Gingrich has never had to address his failure to deliver on the promises of the much-ballyhooed Contract With America let alone his own well-documented peccadilloes.

In retrospect, I think it's useful to consider the points of this so-called contract, drafted by the Rush-Newt-Cheney Republicans of 1994, and examine them in the warm and towering incandescent light of 2009.

Here are the bullet points, (the full text is here):

http://www.house.gov/house/Contract/CONTRACT.html

1. THE FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY ACT

2. THE TAKING BACK OUR STREETS ACT

3. THE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY ACT

4. THE FAMILY REINFORCEMENT ACT

5. THE AMERICAN DREAM RESTORATION ACT

6. THE NATIONAL SECURITY RESTORATION ACT

7. THE SENIOR CITIZENS FAIRNESS ACT

8. THE JOB CREATION AND WAGE ENHANCEMENT ACT

9. THE COMMON SENSE LEGAL REFORM ACT

10. THE CITIZEN LEGISLATURE ACT

Without even reading the skimpy details provided in the accompanying text, it's hard not to openly laugh out loud at these absurd Newtisms and the Republican "Revolution". None of it came to pass.

Fast-forward. 2009. Fifteen long, miserable years later, and guess who is the standard bearer for the Republican minority? A minority for sure, but one with very deep pockets lined with the blood and treasure of you and me and every little kid and senior citizen in America.

The Bush Crime Family looted and plundered the entire world economy. Newt stayed down. Kept quiet. Said little. Raised money. Lots and lots of money.

Now, he's back. Attacking a Democratic president. 'Damn the moderates! Kill the RINOS!'

Only 23% of Americans now identify as Republicans. Ross Perot, a certifiable nut, got nearly that share of the vote in 1992.

Well way to go, Newt. Serve us up another big ol' helping of Soviet-style purge and by 2012 you'll hand us a Republican ticket so ideologically wicked right that President Obama will win every state but Idaho and Alabama.

Every time Gingrich and his buddies like Cheney and Limbaugh and Hannity tell their lies, puppies lick their humans, kittens purr, and 18 year-olds register as Democrats.

Bring 'em on.

America, it's 2009, not 1994.

And silly salamanders run out the front door.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

Lewis Carroll
(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

I don't think the pigs have wings anymore. And the little oysters have grown impatient of the boiling sea of Newtonian regression.

Long live the Oysters!

[stevedeshazer]

1. .

[old mark]

2. It says a lot about the state of the GOP that they believe

Newt is the best they have.

The rat and the sinking ship.


mark

[Vinnie From Indy]

3. Well Done!

K & R

[stevedeshazer]

4. .

[havocmom]

5. K, R, & neuter the newt

Do NOT let this pond scum hoodwink anybody else with his Goebbels-style propaganda techniques. Keep hounding the philandering panderer to corporate bosses until he can't leave his home without being confronted with truth.