Email from my RW dad... and the response I wanted to send, but didn't

[scheming daemons]

He sent an email with a bunch of anti-Obama bumper stickers... some really vile stuff that I won't post here... and had the following statement in the email:

"Some of you may disagree with these.....but maybe not after you've seen what's happened so far."

My dad is one of those guys who has Fox News on 24/7. He's too far gone to "convert", so I basically just ignore all political discussions when I'm visiting with him.

(Two weeks ago, I nearly bit through my lip to keep from commenting at my niece's birthday party when my dad was talking about the "baby killer that got sent to meet his maker".)

Here's the email response I typed up.... but then ultimately didn't hit "send". The reason is that no good can come from it except to add more strain to our relationship and make things more stressful for my mom.

Dad,

I'm curious as to what you mean when you say "what's happened so far".

I am assuming you are talking about the first 5 months of the Obama administration, and if so, here's what I have seen "happening so far":

- An economy that was hemorraging 700,000 jobs a month when Bush left office is now only losing 300,000 a month. That's still horrendous, but it's only been five months. If Clinton is to blame for the 9/11 attacks (which you've stated often) even though they occurred 9 months after he left office, then certainly Bush is ultimately to blame for the current economy and job situation. Right? RIGHT?

- A banking system that was facing complete collapse in September/October of 2008 (when President Shithead was in charge) has begun to recover. So much so that 10 large banks are already returning their TARP money to the federal treasury.

- Consumer confidence is rising, right-track/wrong-track polls are moving back in the "right-track" direction, the economic indicators are either back to moving in the right direction or their descent in the wrong direction has levelled off.

- The world, which unanimously hated our guts just 6 months ago, has begun to sing our praises and respects America again. I've been to Europe in the past 6 months. I've seen it. Americans don't have to lie and claim they are Canadians any more. The world is loving us and seeing that we aren't the neanderthal warmongers that your President and his neocon handlers made us look like.

- The government, once again, is basing its decision on good old science and the scientific method. Stem Cell Research is allowed again. Global Warming decisions are being made based on SCIENCE, and not on lobbyist money.

- Slowly, but surely, Americans are starting to be proud of their President again instead of embarrassed by him.

- Less than 21% of the population now self-identifies with the Republican party. The party of hate, your party, is imploding. In a few years, there will be something called the "Republican party" - but it won't look anything like the one we've had the past 30 years. They'll morph into something that realizes that the country is exceedingly "browner" than it was before. And people like you will be marginalized even farther. 50 years from now, the history books will talk about the Republican party of 1980-2010 in much the same way as the Nazi party is talked about today.

You're a dinosaur, Dad. And your kind is already knee deep in the tar pits. And you don't even realize it.

As more and more of your generation die off, less and less racism and bigotry will remain. Those under 50 years old don't think like you do. You're going the way of the do-do bird.

And my kids... your grandkids... will live in a better world because of it. In spite of your efforts.

I didn't hit send. I'm glad I didn't. But damn, it gets harder and harder to not respond.

[gratuitous]

1. Suggested response

"Please don't send me any more of this pornography. Thanks."

[scheming daemons]

2. I've said that kind of thing before.... he just sends to everybody in his address book and

claims he "forgot" to remove me.

I know that I'm the target audience, though.

[gratuitous]

11. Then the next step is . . .

"Dad, I've asked you politely not to send me this drivel, and you have ignored my request. You raised me too well to accept disrespect and abuse as the basis for a relationship. This is my last e-mail to you. I have blocked your incoming e-mails, and by the time you get this, I will have changed my e-mail address."

Then do it.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I think you should send it.

Tone down the anger in a couple of places, and send. Warn your mom, too.

I sure as hell would not let him have the last word. I used to yell at my parents, and they took it.

Today, they're Democrats, but not because of me. Because they finally saw the light.

Maybe I helped get them there; I don't know.

Send it!

You just never know...

[scheming daemons]

4. When I've done that in the past, it didn't end well...

It descended into angry back-and-forths and it is too late to change him.

He's 68 years old and set in his ways.


Someone once told me that nothing wrangles a person who wants to argue more than refusing to take the bait.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. Well, then...

Don't send it. But you need to find a way to handle your frustration...

Good luck with that.

[Love Bug]

6. It's useless to argue with someone who's convinced they are right

All he'll do is dig in harder. That doesn't mean you have to take his crap, either. Just let him know you're not interested in getting any more of his rant emails and tell him if he doesn't stop it, you'll delete ALL emails from him. He's looking for an audience for his views and maybe if you tell him often enough, he'll realise he's wasting his time trying to convert you.

[LadyHawkAZ]

7. You never know

My parents, both now in their 70s, were lifelong Republicans.

In November, they voted Obama. And both of them voted against Prop. 8.

My 15-year-old niece finally wore them down. She was out there campaigning for months. So you never know. Sometimes the leopard can change its spots.

[elocs]

8. I understand what you are going through and I commend your decision

for it is your decision and your decision alone to make. Politics can be bitter, but it is not worth destroying the love and relationship between a father and child. It is not easy, but you never know if change will one day come. Again, it is your decision to make.

[WeDidIt]

9. I've cut off all right wing members of my family

They're dead to me.

[Trajan]

10. I wont tolerate ugliness ....

I am pleasant with my family, and I expect the same from them ...

If they get ugly; they get cut off ....

Life is too fucking short for THAT BS ...

[timeforpeace]

12. You did the right thing

and the harder thing, by not sending it.

[uppityperson]

13. Good answer except for one bit, about age

"As more and more of your generation die off, less and less racism and bigotry will remain. Those under 50 years old don't think like you do."

There are plenty of racists and bigots under 50 and I know plenty of open minded people over 50. We may be uppity but that is towards the racists and bigots.

Also, by putting that in, you are getting into merely the age thing with him, rather than the issue of his owning his racism.

Other than that, good letter addressing the issues.

Cheers to you

[Politicalboi]

14. I fight with my brother all the time

But we usually laugh at each others views. Although at times it does get heated. It would be hard for me not to send an e-mail like that. If my brother sent me crap like your dad does I would send my e-mail to all his people on his list.

[Touchdown]

18. That's the perfect opening for some brotherly love... with an audience.

"Oh' your just bitter because Mom caught you whacking off in your room when you were 14 to one of her Glamour magazines, and think she likes me best!"

:evilgrin:

[DCKit]

15. I recently suggested to a family member that they buy a book...

and learn what the respective roles are for the President and Congress. Judging from the RW emails I've been getting, gubmint is a one-man show and it's all on Obama's shoulders. The next time I receive one of those hateful emails, it's going to be "reply to all" followed by a rant about how they're using every excuse in the book to deride our President when it really boils down to racism and the big, scary Black man in the WH.

Even Dumbya and his "universal executive" couldn't have taken down the country without a complicit Congress, but the wingers never let facts stand in the way of a poorly written, illogical and hateful rant.

[Historic NY]

16. send it from another e-mail addy...he needs to see it.

[lbrtbell]

17. IMHO, here's what you should write

Something like....

"We disagree on politics, but please don't make things more stressful for Mom. Let's not discuss politics anymore. Thank you."

If he doesn't take the hint, change your e-mail address, as someone else suggested. 68 isn't THAT old, and it's not a matter of being "set in one's ways". It's a matter of trying to ram B.S. down your throat. It's a matter of treating you like a child, which you're not.

As with any parent who oversteps his/her boundaries, it's your place to gently, but firmly, make it clear that you're an adult. Because if you don't, both your frustrations will build to the point where one of you will say or do something you'll both regret for the rest of your lives. Pent-up frustration never stays pent-up forever. :(

[alittlelark]

19. I understand - my mother is of the same ilk.

It sucks.

[olegramps]

20. Not all old farts are brain dead Republicans.

[mwb970]

21. It doesn't sound like you and your dad are close.

There's apparently not much to lose. Whether you sent the letter or not, the fact that you feel that way shows that there is no relationship there.

I'm sorry to say it, but your dad sounds completely lost and unreachable. Your disagreement is on such a fundamental level that it's hard to see how you could ever "fix" it, especially given the fierce resistance of right-wingers to all forms of normal discourse. You will never, ever change his mind on anything. They just don't work that way. (Changing your mind is sissy, and probably French.)

[Vinca]

22. I'm puzzled about why you didn't send it.

It's not an offensive response . . . just truthful.

[scheming daemons]

23. Because it usually results in an escalated back and forth....

...and it never ends well.