Lovecraftian School Board Member Wants Madness Added To Curriculum

[parasearchers]

ARKHAM, MA—Arguing that students should return to the fundamentals taught in the Pnakotic Manuscripts and the Necronomicon in order to develop the skills they need to be driven to the very edge of sanity, Arkham school board member Charles West continued to advance his pro-madness agenda at the district's monthly meeting Tuesday.

"Fools!" said West, his clenched fist striking the lectern before him. "We must prepare today's youth for a world whose terrors are etched upon ancient clay tablets recounting the fever-dreams of the other gods—not fill their heads with such trivia as math and English. Our graduates need to know about those who lie beneath the earth, waiting until the stars align so they can return to their rightful place as our masters and wage war against the Elder Things and the shoggoths!"

The controversial school board member reportedly interrupted a heated discussion about adding fresh fruit to school lunches in order to bring his motion to the table. With the aid of a flip chart, West laid out his six-point plan for increased madness, which included field trips to the medieval metaphysics department at Miskatonic University, instruction in the incantations of Yog-Sothoth, and a walkathon sponsored by local businesses to raise money for the freshman basketball program.



http://parasearcher.blogspot.com/2009/08/lovecraftian-school-board-member-wants.html

[parasearchers]

1. BTW this is humor :)

[vixengrl]

2. Heh heh--well, I'm in favor of it--I'm not one for coddling youngsters.

The old ones prefer them raw, unless I'm mistaken....

[dgibby]

7. Personally,

I prefer them medium rare with a nice Chianti and fava beans.:evilgrin:

[csziggy]

3. Link to the original article

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/lovecraftian_school_board_member

[baldguy]

4. Creationists on Texas School Board Prevail

The State Board of Education on Friday passed science curriculum standards that members described as a compromise between those who are critical of teaching evolutionary theories without scrutiny and those who feared attacks on evolution would lead to the teaching of creationism in Texas schools...The new standards remove current requirements that students be taught the "strengths and weaknesses" of scientific theories. Instead, teachers will be required to have students scrutinize "all sides" of the theories.

http://firedoglake.com/2009/03/29/creationists-on-texas-school-board-prevail-watered-down-science-coming-to-your-kids-textbooks/

[Swede]

5. The most merciful thing in the world, I think,

is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

[kestrel91316]

6. K&R

[sam sarrha]

8. this is out of the Onion... right.??? if not why is this guy not in a straight jacket.??

[sam sarrha]

9. LINK>>Pnakotic Manuscripts> hey folks this explains it all.. better than the Bible, explains it

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Race_of_Yith

"snip...The Great Race ... waxed well-nigh omniscient, and turned to the task of setting up exchanges with the minds of other planets, and of exploring their pasts and futures. It sought likewise to fathom the past years and origin of that black, aeon-dead orb in far space whence its own mental heritage had come – for the mind of the Great Race was older than its bodily form. . . The beings of a dying elder world, wise with the ultimate secrets, had looked ahead for a new world and species wherein they might have long life; and had sent their minds en masse into that future race best adapted to house them – the cone-shaped beings that peopled our earth a billion years ago.

—H. P. Lovecraft, "The Shadow Out of Time"

One of the Great Race, under green lighting, as seen in the Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth video gameThe Great Race are beings of enormous intellectual and psychic powers that once dwelt on the dying world of Yith. They escaped the destruction of their home planet by transferring their minds to the bodies of a species native to the Earth in the far distant past. They lived on this planet for 200 million years or so, in fierce competition with the flying polyps, until this enemy finally destroyed their civilization near the close of the Cretaceous era (about 65 million years ago).

In the bodies they inhabited on the Earth, they were tall and cone-shaped, rising to a point with four strange appendages – two terminating in claws, a third in a "trumpet", and the fourth, a yellow globe which functioned as a sensory organ. They have no genders and reproduce by spores instead. The unique ability of this scientifically-advanced race was to travel through time by swapping minds with creatures of another era...snip"