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RidinMyDonkey (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:48 PM Original message |
What would you do if you found out a somewhat close friend was a homophobe? |
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QC (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:51 PM Response to Original message |
1. Lots of liberals are homophobes, though most aren't as "out and proud" |
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Maru Kitteh (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:52 PM Response to Original message |
2. I would write her a heartfelt but polite letter explaining your position, inviting her to talk about |
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G_j (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:03 PM Response to Reply #2 |
12. a year's friendship could worth that effort |
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HughMoran (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:52 PM Response to Original message |
3. My liberal coworker came out with some homophobic shit the other day |
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vadawg (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:55 PM Response to Original message |
4. throughout life your gonna have to deal with people who disagree with you on a lot of stuff |
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Arugula Latte (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:58 PM Response to Reply #4 |
8. I disagree. Once you lose respect for someone, what's the point? |
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QC (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:00 PM Response to Reply #4 |
10. Would you give the same advice if the woman turned out to be a Nazi or a Klansman? n/t |
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vadawg (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:08 PM Response to Reply #10 |
16. yup we all have aquantences who are nuts or borderline, who mayby have views that we consider whacko |
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Mystayya (324 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:20 PM Response to Reply #4 |
20. Would you say that if she was spewing racial slurs? |
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vadawg (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:28 PM Response to Reply #20 |
24. yup i deal with this everyday, i dont automatically write people off just because they say something |
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Mystayya (324 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:34 PM Response to Reply #24 |
28. wow. |
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treestar (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 07:32 AM Response to Reply #4 |
40. True, keeping the friendship increases the chance of persuading her |
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notadmblnd (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:56 PM Response to Original message |
5. When my mother used the "N" word in my house after my husband died |
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bigjohn16 (747 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:57 PM Response to Original message |
6. I'd talk to her about it and tell her how it made you feel. |
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Starry Messenger (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:57 PM Response to Original message |
7. I couldn't stay friends with someone who said that. |
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Libertas1776 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 10:58 PM Response to Original message |
9. I would |
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Skittles (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:01 PM Response to Original message |
11. oh, I would have SO kicked her ass |
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unpossibles (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:04 PM Response to Original message |
13. You should just be honest with her. Be diplomatic as she is a friend, at least at first |
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Tangerine LaBamba (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:08 PM Response to Reply #13 |
15. You think she doesn't know? |
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unpossibles (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 10:14 AM Response to Reply #15 |
41. I would agree, except that I know that some really hurtful things are very ingrained in our culture |
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Tangerine LaBamba (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:07 PM Response to Original message |
14. It's over - |
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RidinMyDonkey (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:14 PM Response to Reply #14 |
19. That is what I'm feeling right now |
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Barack_America (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:30 PM Response to Reply #14 |
26. Yeah. Somethings cannot be unsaid. |
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EndersDame (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:09 PM Response to Original message |
17. If she is open to dialog talk and educate; if not cut ties |
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RidinMyDonkey (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:22 PM Response to Reply #17 |
22. I don't think she's the type to be open minded |
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EndersDame (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:36 PM Response to Reply #22 |
30. Some are though rare, I feel your pain my friend is married to a bigot |
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debbierlus (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:12 PM Response to Original message |
18. My mom was a homophobe and she now hangs out with two lesbians |
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RidinMyDonkey (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:28 PM Response to Reply #18 |
25. That's a very sweet story |
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flvegan (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:20 PM Response to Original message |
21. Be thankful you didn't waste 20 years on her. |
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cherokeeprogressive (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:22 PM Response to Original message |
23. Been there, done that, as I have a newly out teenage daughter. A lifelong friend. Oh well. |
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RidinMyDonkey (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:32 PM Response to Reply #23 |
27. Oh I hope he didn't say anything about her! |
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cherokeeprogressive (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:40 PM Response to Reply #27 |
31. He did. I've known and loved him since the fourth grade, and I'm 48. |
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RidinMyDonkey (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:52 PM Response to Reply #31 |
33. Of course she's more important |
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Iggo (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:34 PM Response to Original message |
29. I'd have one less friend. |
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Kerrytravelers (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:40 PM Response to Original message |
32. Mr. kt and I ended a friendship because of this exact same thing. |
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RidinMyDonkey (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:57 PM Response to Reply #32 |
35. That's really good advice |
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AspenRose (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 11:09 AM Response to Reply #32 |
45. Yep, that's good advice. |
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Kalyke (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:57 PM Response to Original message |
34. It's the same thing with misogynists. |
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RidinMyDonkey (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Sep-08-09 11:59 PM Response to Reply #34 |
36. It's not quite the same |
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donheld (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 12:40 AM Response to Original message |
37. Being gay, my "friend" had better NEVER say a thing like that to me. EVER. |
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shimmergal (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 01:47 AM Response to Original message |
38. Social sanctions are powerful. |
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stray cat (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 07:29 AM Response to Original message |
39. Fear of other people's sexual orientation? It just sounds like she is being hateful |
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seabeyond (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 10:16 AM Response to Original message |
42. the same if i discover they are racist or sexists. i think less of them as people |
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aikoaiko (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 10:31 AM Response to Original message |
43. I would treat it like any other character defect. |
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quiller4 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 10:53 AM Response to Original message |
44. That would be the end of the friendship for me. |
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RidinMyDonkey (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Wed Sep-09-09 11:32 AM Response to Original message |
46. UPDATE: apologies all around this morning |
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