I Support Gay Rights and Come From a Conservative Family: They Think I am Gay

[BrentWil]

I support gay rights. It just seems logical that people shouldn't face negative actions based on who they are sexually attached to. It seems logical to me, but back home, the step of logic hasn't been made. I am in the US Military and also support lifting the ban on gays serving. While I have been away from my little southern hometown for years now, I have heard that people are saying that I am gay. I am not sure if I should play it up for my own amusement or how to handle it. I was wondering if other straight males from conservative small towns have had similar experiences?

[LaydeeBug]

1. Tell them you are straight, but not narrow. nt

[BrentWil]

4. You would think that multiple Girlfriends would be enough...

I guess it all about the marriage and the ring. I am a little bit of a whore, but I know which way my whoring goes. I kind of feel like saying, honestly it is like 50 to 0, never even vaguely interested me.

[Tansy_Gold]

13. But you're getting married soon, so that should shut them up. n/t

[BrentWil]

16. That should

Been ongoing for a while

[Tansy_Gold]

17. And your whoring will stop then, too, won't it? Or maybe not? n/t

[DevonRex]

32. Interesting choice of words, isn't it?

:hi:

[BrentWil]

34. Yeah perhaps

[joeybee12]

26. Some people will need photographic evidence...

but even then it might not be enough.

[fascisthunter]

2. oh that happens in big cities too

I know... I live in one.

[Tansy_Gold]

3. Riley, Leavenworth, or McConnell? n/t

[BrentWil]

6. Where I am at now?

I am in Grad School... but going to Leavenworth soon for CGSC. Why?

[eShirl]

5. "When you ASS-UME, you make an ASS out of U."

I know, I know, but I like Dr. Gregory House's version of the old saying.

[ejpoeta]

7. they probably can't imagine any other reason you would support gay anything

unless you are gay yourself. it's sad really. god forbid you have to imagine that anyone could be different than you. i would say don't feel compelled to correct them. if you get a girlfriend or something and they ask but i thought you were gay... maybe you could ask how they got that idea and hopefully they would be uncomfortable enough by their own idiocy to rethink their ideas. though i doubt it would happen.

[BrentWil]

11. It isn't like I don't have that...

Or have had plenty in the past. It is, well, he is almost 30 and not married... I really hate southerns and their gossip.

[ejpoeta]

12. don't feel bad. my family thought 'there was something wrong with me'

when i was 18 and didn't express an interest in guys. which wasn't true, but i was going to school and focused on that. don't feel the need to correct them. then it becomes about you and not about your beliefs about equality.

[DevonRex]

8. Funny, but when I was in the military I didn't hear or care about what folks said

in my small Southern hometown.

[cbdo2007]

9. probably best to just ignore it

If they are that stupid then it isn't worth "playing it up" for amusement because they aren't going to get it or fighting with them about it.

[Name removed]

10. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[RKP5637]

14. Typically human... people often think if you're not "just like them," then you have to be

one of the "others." Humans have a long way to go... maybe one day we can treat each other with respect, honesty and dignity. Technology has advanced, but humans have to go a long ways IMO to catch up. I used to think this type of thinking was confined to small towns, but I now think you can find it anyplace.

[Jamastiene]

15. Thank you for your support and your service to the country.

I'm from the south and part of a military family too. One thing my military and veteran family members have always told me is that they disagree with me on some things, but that's what they fought for; our right to disagree and have dialog about it. It helps us understand each other better.

My only suggestion would be to keep working with your hometown and your family members. Sooner or later, maybe you can help them understand your position. After all, you are fighting for the rights of all people, and that includes them and gay people.

[pipi_k]

18. Oh my, this makes me laugh a bit...

One of my ex husbands...there were two of them... when we got separated back in the early 1980s, a neighbor confided in me that she had always thought he was gay....get this....because of his mannerisms. The way he gestured, smoked a cigarette, crossed his legs, etc.

Just for the record, he most definitely was NOT gay. Not that it mattered or anything...


Anyway, I say do whatever makes you comfortable, or provides the highest amusement factor.

:7

[lumberjack_jeff]

19. An observation; apropos of nothing.

I have a straight nephew who was in a band. On a lark, they once decided to play in drag. "The girls really liked it".

From then on, they performed in women's clothing regularly.

Just sayin.

[Fearless]

31. Of course!

People, in general, are attracted to those who are secure in themselves. Good for him!

[murray hill farm]

20. Oh...people always think that I am gay!

I have always had my hair as short as a guy...and I am different in so many ways. People used to ask when I was younger, but now no one does..they just assume. I am pushing 70 now...and the physical distinction really does become less as we age. If someone gets to know me well enough to ask now, I just tell them that at my age I am asexual. I did find it amusing...and somewhat satisfying when I was younger..and still do to a degree. People always think, based on their own fears and biases that you belong in some labeled box or another. It just allows them to feel a bit more comfortable with themselves. Once they put you into their comfort box, it doesn't much matter what you say or do...they most likely will not let you out of it. It is their issue, let them have it.

[pipi_k]

23. When I answer the phone, people always think

I'm Mr Pip because I have a deep voice.

And back in the mid 1980s I had my hair real short. I'm rather tall, and was very slim back then, so people always thought I was a young man. I actually got hooted at by a car full of young girls while walking my dog one time because they thought I was a guy.


I think it's hilarious

:7

[David Zephyr]

38. You rock.

:)

[tammywammy]

21. Just ignore it n/t

[JackDragna]

22. I love that logic.

I wonder if men who are for women's rights are women. Or if people who support animal rights are animals! Wait. We are. Crap.

[ensho]

24. I cut my hair real short one time and one of my grown kids asked if

I had turned gay.

I was speechless for a second or two. regardless of how you raise up your kids they become themselves and sometimes disappoint you.

[inna]

33. sounds like your kids are much more open-minded and tolerant than you are.

[Dappleganger]

25. Lots of libertarians support gay rights, too.

I'm just sayin'.

[DevonRex]

27. I'm going to tell you exactly what I think.

1. You're not a teenager anymore if you've finished college, OCS, and are in grad school. This is teenager-like gossipy stuff.

2. If you have all the above accomplishments, you're too damned busy to have the time or energy to "play it up" as you put it.

3. When you're in the Army you don't see home long enough TO play anything up.

4. Your family thinks you're gay but you're really a straight guy who's "a bit of a whore" as you put it above. So, if you've always been "a bit of a whore" then why would your conservative Southern family think you're gay? They NEVER think anybody they know is gay unless they actually see the evidence with their own eyes.

[muffin1]

28. Yeah...

this OP just doesn't ring true.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

29. Spot fucking on.

This cartoon is mostly true, but not 100% of the time. Sometimes they bark.

[BrentWil]

35. If you would like proof I am a CPT in the Army, PM me

[Fearless]

30. In the end you just have to be yourself.

Anything else, gay or straight or whatever, is just a disservice to yourself and your happiness.

[David Zephyr]

36. This gay guy who grew up in the South and was tossed out of his home as a teen...

understands where you are coming from.

Our former Governor Jerry Brown here in California decriminalized homosexuality as one of the very first things he did as Governor way back in the 1970's. Jerry Brown was a single heterosexual man and he knew that his enemies would whisper behind his back and that people would "suspect" he was gay.

That took a "real man" to stand with my GLBT community back then and I would tell you, Brent, this: you are a "real man" not just one who tells people he is.

Kudos to you. I admire you greatly.

K&R

[pipoman]

37. This has been going on for decades..

I know of a few cases going back over 25 years which involved innocent people who were straight being accused by piers or family of being gay because of that person's take on gay related issues. The cases I remember all resulted in criminal acts on someone's part, so I suspect there are many, many cases which don't unwind to the point of a criminal act. I decided long ago, either I am going to be an outspoken advocate of a political position, or I am not going to speak about that issue with anyone aside maybe a spouse/partner...it either is or isn't worth the hassle outside of semi anonymous forum discussing with strangers..