Alpha Moms and Beta Moms? What the fuck is *this* about??

[Stinky The Clown]

On the eve of Mother's Day, the newz is about some study that classifies mothers as Alpha Moms (the one's who do everything perfectly and bring home substantial bacon slabs, too) and Beta Moms, who do ..... not so much.

Maybe I'm misreading this whole thing ...... but as I start to reflect on my own (dearly missed) mother, the mother of my sons, my wife ...... why do I need to hear about this?

Why don't we hear about deadbeat Dads a week before Father's Day?

[atommom]

1. Yeah, it's great timing, isn't it? There's already adequate pressure on

mothers, I think. These periodic media frenzies about how most of us are falling short don't do anyone any good.

[Bunny]

2. Do you have a link to this study? It's kind of hard to formulate an opinion

based on your OP.

[Stinky The Clown]

6. No link ...... but it has been filler fodder on MSNBC all day

If anyone has a link, can you please post it?

[eyesroll]

9. USA Today had this a couple of days ago:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2007-05-08-alpha-beta-moms_N.htm?csp=34

[Bunny]

14. Ah. Well, I am most definitely a Beta mom.

More like a slacker mom, I guess. I've often thought that we go way overboard with our kids. I don't think most of us were raised this way, either. We're a product of our times, I suppose. Thanks for the link.

[eyesroll]

3. From what I understand, the "Beta Mom" characterization isn't unflattering.

If anything, it's the Alpha Moms who are hypercompetitive, running their kids from activity to activity and driving themselves nuts...and the Beta Moms don't worry about it too much. They know they're not perfect and they don't really want to be.

:shrug:

[SoCalDem]

7. I'm a beta--definitely..

I learned long ago, that I could step over laundry baskets as easily as my sons could, and if they didn't want to clean their rooms, I could live with the mess.. I just shut the doors:)

If people who came to my house were offended with the clutter, well they could damn well re-stack the magazines elsewhere before they sat down :)

[scorpiogirl]

22. I'm a beta too.

I would be literally RUNNING all day long trying to keep up with the mess my kids make; two girls under six no less. I refuse to be an alpha mom! Too much work as it is.

[GreenPartyVoter]

26. I'm a stay - at -home - hardly - cook - or -clean beta, then.

June Cleaver I am not, nor am I super Yuppie mommy.

[laylah]

51. However, I would bet

you are a SUPER mom! I refused to follow my girls around and clean up after them! Not good for them OR me...but they have always been well loved! IMVHO...the most important thing of all!

[GreenPartyVoter]

53. Thanks. :^) In fact, just tonight the boys and I made a list of

the little jobs we needed to do to get the living room tidy enough to vacuum. The list thing really helps them feel less overwhelmed and they do enjoy crossing things off when they are done. :D

[Iris]

4. so the choices for motherhood are perfect and not perfect?

What a crock. Why can't moms just be human? Why do they have to strive to be "perfect"? Me, I'd rather be raised by a plain old human mom any day.

[SoCalDem]

5. Didn't you get the memo??

EVERYTHING has to be pro-con..yes-no..black-white...good-bad.. positive-negative..

NOTHING in our modern life can just BE what it is..

Everyone has to have an opinion on everything else, and they have to prove that their own way is the ONLY way ..

It's all-conflict-all-the-time..

crazy isn;t it?
:eyes:

[Dogmudgeon]

8. Spoken like a true Type Beta Prime 2 critic

:evilgrin:

--p!

[gravity]

10. 'Slacker Moms' urge other mothers to chill

By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY

There's a backlash brewing among the Other Mothers. They, too, love their kids and want to raise them right.

But unlike the much-hyped Alpha Moms, whose desire to be The Perfect Mom sometimes leads them to excess in the name of excellence, the laid-back mothers are gaining ground.

...

The so-called Alpha Mom is a marketing creation, the Super Mom of yesteryear with a few new twists. Alphas are educated, can-do types whose organizational skills bring a corporate mentality to their parenting and a technological agility to their problem-solving. These high achievers will often surf the Web and blogs for advice. They've also gotten plenty of media attention.

But sociologists, including Melinda Forthofer of the Institute for Families in Society at the University of South Carolina-Columbia, say there's no evidence Alphas are actually better mothers.

More: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2007-05-08-alpha-beta-moms_N.htm?csp=34

[SoCalDem]

13. OMG.. I was a Slacker-Beta

Once when we were at a mall, my husband said..

"Have you noticed that Michael has on a striped shirt (backwards) and checkered shorts.. and a blue sock & a brown sock.."?

I was just happy that he HAD socks on :rofl:

[Iris]

19. thank God! You have not known a wildebeest until you've born the brunt of an Alpha mom's pent up

rage. Many Alpha mom's I know have no problem taking out their frustration on anyone BUT their children. My sister-in-law almost destroyed our entire family playing her Alpha Mom role.

[moc]

11. Just another episode in the "Mommy Wars" - another bogus "war"

cooked up by the media to make money.

As mothers, I think we need to ignore this kind of crap trying to falsely pit us against one another.

[shireen]

12. it's about idiot advertising & marketing money-grubbing fools

with a simple narrow-minded world view. Characterizing mothers in that way is demeaning and insulting. I'd love to see them do a story on alpha dads, but they're probably afraid they'll get the crap beat out of them by beta dads.

that stupid stupid story is at http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/18337207/

[Matariki]

15. why do ads for cleaning products always show women using them? n/t

[Lex]

16. MSNBC certainly won't talk about the THE REAL meaning of Mother's Day.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x865442">Mother's Day

[Iris]

20. good point. n/t

[blondeatlast]

23. 'Zactly! nt

[JitterbugPerfume]

17. Good grief

this is the dumbest thing I have EVER heard

I am a beta mom and not one bit embarrassed by the fact that I am not frazzled and competitive.

Well, MAYBE I was a bit frazzled back in the day when my kids tried to be wild children!

[Lex]

21. My mom let us be kids when we were growing up.

As far as organized things, I took piano and my brother played pee-wee football, but for the most part we ran and played with the neighbor kids and played with Legos and puzzles, watched movies and tv, etc.

I did have friends whose every minute was scheduled and I always felt sorry for the kids who had no free time after school to play.

We sat down to a family meal together almost every single night, even though our house wasn't spotless and the dirty clothes hamper was full.

[JitterbugPerfume]

24. There was five of us

and we all had music lessons. Mom was a very poor house keeper, she would rather make wonderful pies , crochet , play the piano and hug her children.

She was a cool beta mom

[donsu]

18. whoever is promoting that doesn't understand what alpha/beta is

cripe

[EFerrari]

27. Clearly their mother's fault. n/t

[donsu]

28. lol you got that right

nt

[Solly Mack]

25. oh bother

what garbage

[SheilaT]

29. Surely there are other categories besides alpha and beta?

I'm sure I'd be way down on the list. Well, I did bake chocolate chip cookies a lot, but that's because I truly enjoy baking them and I have a great recipe. And I did make home made play-dough, again, a great recipe. But I stayed home, didn't enroll my two kids in every sport and activity out there, and tried to enjoy them.

[blondeatlast]

31. There is, and I'm proudly one of them: human.

It's another invented media circus--there are no missing young blondes lately, you know?

From a fellow non-perfect mom: :toast:

[Marrah_G]

30. I'm a Beta, my own mother constantly reminds me of that

We Mothers don't have enough bullshit to take care of every day without some Martha Sewart Stefford Wife showing us how much better we could/should be. It really gets fucking old

If I can manage the following without anyone hurt, dying or failing school it's a success:

Get 3 kids off to school with all thier clothes on, coats, bags, books, projects etc.
Get dressed and get myself to work.
Stop for coffee
Work all day.
Stop and pick up groceries.
Do any other shopping needed on the way home.
Pick up children from after school activities.
Clean living room from night before.
Pick up laundry.
Tell girl child to put in load of laundry.
Tell Girl child to go take care of the laundry so she has clothes for morning.
Scream at girlchild to take off her damn earphones and go do laundry.
Send Boy children out to clean up yard.
Start Dinner
Check mail.
Yell out the back window to the boys to stop wrestling and finish thier chores.
repeat above
repeat above
storm outside and REPEAT ABOVE!
Put dinner on the table for kids.
Make myself a cup of tea and a quick dinner (dieting so I don't eat what they do).
Watch a few minutes of the news.
Help kids with homework while picking up the kitchen.
Finish homework/housework
Grab middle child to be at Karate by 7.
8:30 home again
Check homework
9:00 send kids to shower and bed while refereeing their petty little fights over who goes first.
Fold clothes while watching TV, yell into boys room every 15 minutes to shut up and get to sleep.
shower
pick up bathroom
Bed by 10:30/11:00
Back up for 6am.

SO basically...... The perfect mommies can kiss my loving but imperfect mommy ass :) My house is never a spotless showplace. Meals never look like Emeril stopped by. The kids are not immaculately dressed and perfectly behaved. I think of my house like the old Roseanne show....minus John Goodman.

[blondeatlast]

32. No blondes have gone missing lately--give the lazy-ass media bastards a break!

They gotta rally the LCDs somehow...

[seabeyond]

33. volunteered at elem sch yesterday, all day end of yr. event. not enough parents

all those alpha moms doing everything leaves schools shy on volunteers for the KIDS. high school kids came in to volunteer and help the success of the event.

2 days prior to that i picked up a womans two boys from school she was unable to pick up. working single mom with her hands a little full at work

fuck this study

[Fleshdancer]

34. Screw you guys! I'm a Mu Omega Mom...or MOM for short.

Now I'll have to write an article about how MOM's like me think the mommy wars and the "alpha" or "beta" generalizations is completely ridiculous. Somehow I doubt my article will be published though.

[blondeatlast]

39. Sex it up a bit. Let's see; have your MOM posed provocatively

on a Volvo convertible in a rip 'n tear city soccer program t-shirt. Wouldn't hurt to have her munching her favorite home-baked brownie--attention to the lips is always a catch!

[youthere]

35. I am an awesome kick-ass mom...

who BUYS ready made cupcakes for class treats...
who makes the 12 and 10 year old do their OWN damn laundry...
who not only is too damned tired to make supper, I'm too damned tired to call in the pizza order (I make the 12 year old do it)...
who could give a shit less what other people's standards of motherhood are. My kids are healthy, well-loved (and know without a doubt they are loved) and happy (unless it's time for chores). Alpha moms...I salute you..from the couch.

[Fleshdancer]

36. quick kick-ass mom question:

At what age did your kids start doing their own laundry? My daughter is 7 and I'm really looking forward to when she's tall enough to get clothes in and out of the washing machine. Any idea on when I can expect this glorious event?

[youthere]

37. We just started this year for the older two...

I was sick of clean clothes turning up in the laundry so I decided they can be responsible for their own clothes. Plus my oldest daughter was CONSTANTLY bitching about her favorite jeans always being dirty so now, if they are dirty it's HER problem.
So far it's gone well. My son is only 10, but he's been able to handle the laundry thing just fine so far. My youngest daughter is also only 7 and is DYING to do her own laundry..so I have her help me with hers...she can't quite reach the controls on the washing machine and the detergent bottle is difficult for her to handle, so I guess it will be a few more years before she can handle it on her own.

I figure they are going to be out on their own someday and will have to be able to do their own laundry, so they should get in as much practice as possible now! LOL! It's the mark of a truly kick-ass mom!

[SheilaT]

50. Teaching them to do their own laundry

is possibly the most important thing in raising a kid. I had my two sons doing their own laundry some time in high school. Older one is still at home, does his own. Younger one is in college. He came home for the summer a couple of weeks ago with a LOT of dirty clothes, and proceeded to do it all himself. It would never occur to him to even ask me.

One of the reasons I nursed my kids for so long (two years) was that by the time they were no longer doing it, they were old enough to drag a box of cereal out of the cupboard for breakfast.

Make them independent.

[ourbluenation]

38. me too... a kick ass beta. snaps for us!

:headbang:

[blondeatlast]

40. A-effing-MEN! . Wish they'd talk about the need for BOTH types of moms;

but that just isn't sexy.

I'm a kick-ass beta, too.

[youthere]

42. LET"S HEAR IT FOR THE KICK ASS BETA'S! W00T!

I REFUSE to slam good moms for what they do (or don't do) for their kids.

[youthere]

43. NOW LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE KICK-ASS ALPHA'S! W00T!

I REFUSE to slam good moms for what they do (or don't do) for their kids.

[blondeatlast]

45. W00t! Gotta make it fast, gotta get Jr. to the tennis lesson.

And thank you ladies for helping out at his school. :toast:

[blondeatlast]

44. Woo-hoo and pass the Bertoli spaghetti sauce! I love my sister betas!

W00t!

[LoZoccolo]

41. It always unnerves people to find out that they are not living up to their potential. n/t

[Iris]

48. huh? n/t

[earth mom]

46. Why can't a mom be a bit of both?

I see myself in both categories. :shrug:

[Iris]

49. or why can't a mom just be herself. And teach her children to do the same? n/t

[kestrel91316]

47. Divide and conquer. Turn women against each other. An old tactic.

[Norrin Radd]

52. My mom was a cool mom.

The best kind of all.