I helped a homeless family yesterday

[lapislzi]

The details aren't important. But, as I pressed all the cash I had in my wallet into her coat pocket and helped her heft the dozen or so laundry bags into her car, along with the leftovers of last night's dinner that I swore I wouldn't be able to finish, she crossed herself and promised me that god would repay me tenfold.

As she drove away, the tears came. I don't want a god I don't believe in to repay me. I don't need repaying. I'm not flush, but I'm not homeless. I want the god I don't believe in or one of his representatives on earth to fix it. Fix this damn thing. Fix this damn thing so people like Cheryl don't have to go around with a cotton ball soaked in vodka pressed onto a toothache. Fix this damn thing so that people don't have to live in their cars, or pay extortionate sums just to hole up in an illegal apartment. Fix this damn thing so the kid can get a winter coat.

Who's going to fix it? I can only do so much. My heart is breaking.

[aquart]

1. Stop that. Now.

This is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. You have ten minutes to wallow and then you lose the wallow.

NOBODY IS HELPED BY WEEPING OR HEARTBREAK.

NOBODY IS HELPED BY BEATING YOUR BREAST BLACK AND BLUE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DO MORE.

If you try to do more than you can, you wipe out. You end up no good to anyone. You end up like the desperate rescuers with seventy dogs and fifty cats filthy and dying in a three-room flat.

YOU SAVE THE ONES YOU CAN. NO MORE.

If you wipe out on every tragedy you see, go to bed now and don't get up, because it's going to be endless. This hasn't even begun.

[elocs]

2. Thus endeth the lecture of the day.

I understood the feeling of dismay of the OP and can empathize and it didn't require a lecture.

[lapislzi]

4. Brain knows. Heart does what it will.

I am helping in concrete and practical ways. I am doing what I can do, and not more than that (you'll notice that I didn't invite them in to live). I'm not going to go broke taking in every stray. But that doesn't mean my heart can't break at the same time.

Edited to add: I understand the principle of fastening on one's own oxygen mask first. I do. And most of the time I do. Still, it gets to me sometimes. Today is one of those days.

[Dappleganger]

3. Thank you dear friend...

for helping out a fellow human.

I feel the same way...this thing must be fixed!

[Tippy]

5. I live with fear every day...How much longer will we be able to hang on.

I've always helped those in need, I remember one family in particular, we were on our way to or from someplace, I don't remember, but there was a car sitting by the side of the road and a man holding up a sign "willing to work for food", they had two kids who looked like they needed a good meal. I stopped and told them to wait, I'd be right back, I went home and packed up everything I could into a cooler, enough for a few days anyway. When I got back , they didn't want to take it without doing something in return. I told them I had no work but wanted to help and if when they got back on there feet if they would help someone else out that would be payment enough. Of course I will never know for sure but I really felt they would do just that. Today I wonder how long before we find ourselves in just such a situaiton. Twenty years ago I would never have believed this could happen. Today because of my health I can't work, my husband has had his hours cut. It is a constant worry. But at least we have a roof over our heads.