An observation about racism, prejudice and bias

[Empowerer]

There has been an incredible amount of heat with little light regarding the issue of racism, prejudice and bias. For some DUers, any suggestion that some white progressives are holding President Obama to a higher standard than they would a white President is tantamount to calling them a racist, something that is deeply and genuinely offensive to them. On the other hand, some DUers have been trying to explain that: 1) pointing out that some progressives are holding the President to a higher standard is not the same as accusing all progressives of doing so; 2) prejudice and bias is NOT the equivalent of racism; and 3) even the most well-meaning people can be biased and prejudiced, even if they don't hate blacks or wish to see us fail.

First, let's define our terms. Prejudice is the act of prejudging someone based on assumptions made because of their race. Such assumptions can be negative or positive - e.g., assuming a black person is poor or more prone to crime vs. assuming a black man is a better athlete or assuming that a black President will be more progressive solely because he is black. Decisions based on prejudice are made all of the time by even well-meaning people. Prejudice does not necessarily include the assumption of racial superiority or inferiority.

Racism, on the other hand, is a specific kind of prejudice - a belief in the inherent inferiority of another race, coupled with the power and desire to subjugate or otherwise negatively impact others as a result.

In my view, all people have prejudices and biases. It is human nature. But everyone who is prejudiced is not racist. Nevertheless, whether intentional or not, prejudice can have serious impacts on others. One need not be an out-and-out racist who hates black people in order to be prejudiced, biased or to apply a double standard to us. Often that double standard and bias is based on what one believes is completely benevolent motives.

I'll give you an example. Earlier in my career, I worked in an office where I was constantly held to a higher standard by my bosses - not because they didn't like black people - but because they didn't know many of us and, as the first black person in my position, I was given greater scrutiny because they were "concerned" that I might not succeed. So, for example, whenever I was given a new matter to handle, I was watched very closely to see how I managed it - to the point that it was difficult to do my job. If I made a mistake - as all of the new employees did - the mistake became a virtual federal case. On the other hand, my white colleagues' mistakes were brushed off as no big deal - usually with a story about similar mistakes that senior people had made as if the younger employee was now a member of the "Club."

"Yuk, yuk, yuk - you think what YOU did was bad. Let me tell you about how *I* screwed that up when I was where you are! Ha Ha Ha. Don't worry about it kid. It happens to all of us. That' how we learn."

But when I made a mistake, it was a different story. The higher-ups gathered together, discussed it very seriously, brought me in to discuss - and it was never in the "yuk, yuk, yuk - it's how we learn" manner, but in the, "What are we going to do about this? How are we going to explain this to the client? We brought you in here because we have a lot of faith in you, but we are very worried about your ability to succeed" manner.

It was clear to me that they really believed that they had taken a great risk and done me a greater favor by "bringing me in" and that they wanted me not only to perform better than anyone else in my position was expected to so that their "risk" was rewarded, but that they also believed that I should be enormously grateful for giving me the opportunity - opportunities that my white colleagues felt were their due. When I didn't demonstrate appropriate gratefulness to them - for example, whenever I had the nerve to question why they never hired any black secretaries or support staff - they made my life more difficult.

On occasion, I asked why I was being held to a higher standard than my white colleagues and was actually told, "WE aren't holding you to a higher standard. But clients aren't comfortable with you because they aren't as open-minded as we are. So we have to be extra careful to make sure that your work is satisfactory to them." In their view, they weren't discriminating with me based on my race - the CLIENTS were, so they had to go along with them.

As you can imagine, it was a very isolating and difficult situation. As the only black employee in an office of 250, I had no one I could turn to, no one to talk to, no one to give me advice and guidance on how to navigate these difficult waters. Fortunately, I had family, friends and mentors outside of the office who gave me incredible support and made it possible for me to carry on, but the fact that there was no one in my office environment who could mentor or help me was very difficult.

In fact, not only did I not have anyone in my day-to-day workplace who could help me, but I learned early on that any attempt to confide in anyone there could be dangerous. For example, one colleague frequently used racist slurs against Asians - of course, if someone had suggested that he was a bigot, he would have screamed bloody murder. I couldn't take any more and mentioned it to my mentor. The following week, during an office meeting, the senior person said to the group, "It's come to my attention that someone has complained about a colleague using a term that she finds offensive." Great, I thought. He's going to tell him to stop and remind us all that this kind of language is inappropriate. Wrong. He went on - "This has always been a collegial environment and it's important that we keep it that way. We all need to be more tolerant and learn that sometimes people say things we don't like. So we can't go running to daddy crying whenever someone says something that hurts our feelings." In other words, racial slurs weren't the problem but *I* was causing dissension by objecting to them. And I would be called out in front of everyone as a troublemaker if I did. Message received loud and clear. I'd better shut up and put up with bigotry if I wanted to get anywhere in that place.

Yet not one of these people that engaged in this kind of behavior would ever believe that they were bigoted, prejudiced or racist. They were nice people. Many of them were Democrats. They have black "friends," they donated to the Boys and Girls Club, etc. But their behavior every day applied and reinforced a double standard that deeply impacted the black people over whom they had control.

Bigotry does not require malice, hatred or a desire to see black people fail. Sometimes it even manifests itself in a supposed desire to help us succeed.

I hope this helps folks better understand these issues.

[vaberella]

1. I agree with most everything you say. However...prejudice IS NOT human nature.

Let's get this misconception clear. If it was part of human nature young children and babies would of different coloring would not be able to get along. They'd know instinctively to stay away from the other baby or child. Or they'd have these pre-disposed ideas as to who the other child or baby is. Prejudice/Racism and all of the -isms are learned. It is learned through social construction and experience, and stems out of society. This is why those things can change and then people change or vice versa.

Until we realize that these things are not inherent we can't move on because we give an almost apologist excuse for prejudices and biases and allow people to be comfortable in their way of thinking---even if it's wrong. It's not human nature...so it's no excuse to have certain prejudices or biases against another people.
-----------------------------------------------------

You're experience in the work place can be reiterated time and time again for Blacks in the work place. Interesting the experience about the Asian slurs---is interesting. If your boss use the "daddy" terminology that was highly sexist on top of the blatant disregard of your complaint.

I agree in regards to bigotry...wrote as much in one of my posts.

[Karenina]

6. One thing I have easily expressed in my mangled DSL

and had people reflect upon, rather than defensively counter, is the difference I perceive as an ACTIVE PLAYER. Those who would dismiss my perspectives are often held up to ridicule by the dominant community. When I read declarative posts from those who clearly do not get out of the neighborhood much, I sometimes get frustrated.

Kids have no "inborn" prejudices. I know this from my childhood, my children's childhoods and the childhoods of those to whom I am related and those I arbitrarily claim as "godchildren." They are meglos and only register if you're one of "THEIRS." They don't give a flying fuck about anything else.

Little Sean asked his mom one day about the parent of a classmate whose dark black skin tone was almost blue. She explained the range of colours and asked him who he knew with dark skin and how different the colours were. He named off a bunch of people and described their skin tones. "Anyone else?" she asked, noticing an obvious omission. He was at the end of his list.

"What about Tante K?" She told me he replied, "Oh yeah. I forgot.°

[jenmito]

7. I agree with everything you said...

meaning most everything the OP said plus what YOU said about prejudice not being human nature. People are TAUGHT to be prejudice. (I also loved your OP from a few days ago-the very long one where you told of your experiences growing up). :hi:

[1StrongBlackMan]

2. Well Stated ...

I hope DUers will take a moment to read and, a longer moment to, reflect on what you have written.

BTW ... in a somewhat related way, I must confess that I operated under a prejudice with respect to you. After monts of reading your posts, my mind's eye had you as an older (50+) male; I now believe that to be an inaccurate view. Although, my mistaken view did not affect what I thought of you or what you said, it very well could have.

[EffieBlack]

3. Insightful food for thought. K&R

[Maraya1969]

4. Thank you so much for speaking out. This is exactly why I believe our President

is held to a higher standard and why some people judge him more harshly than they would a white president. It is also why I want everyone to shut the fuck up about it and not let their own, unknown to them, racism, cause a loss to a Republican in the next election!

I wonder how much this factor affects his negative polling?

[Number23]

9. +1 Some here have openly admitted that they expect "more" from him

based solely on the color of his skin. Or that they expect him to be "more" or "less" (insert adjective) here based solely on the color of his skin. The very definition of racial prejudice. Thanks to Empowerer for breaking down these explanations. Apparently, many here do not understand what they mean.

While I sincerely believe that things such as being a woman, a person of color, living abroad etc. are all qualities that shape a person's life and generally tend to give that person more empathy, it is astounding to me that people who are NONE of these things have come to somehow expect more from those of us that are. Once again, the onus is on the minority to perform to the expectations for the majority and not the other way around.

Empathy, compassion and understanding are not solely for those of us in the minority. We need more white/wealthy/men etc. to exhibit these qualities as well.

[Empowerer]

12. You are so right - but I must say

Despite all of negative experiences, I have been heartened, lifted and fortified by countless white people - including many, many white men - who stood up for and with me, encouraged me, defended me and both taught and allowed themselves to learn from me.

I do wish there were more who did that, but that's why I've devoted much of my life to teaching and trying to foster understanding - I believe that most people are essentially good and that they want to do and be better.

That's one of the reasons for my frustrations on DU - all too often, instead of listening and learning and communicating, people immediately deny, shut down and cruelly attack those of us who try to offer a different perspective, insisting that we are accusing them of all manner of things when we are doing nothing of the kind. Unfortunately, the people who respond that way are usually those most in need of educating, yet they push away every attempt to reach out to them.

But I'll keep trying . . .

[Number23]

13. "I have been heartened, lifted and fortified by countless white people"

I couldn't agree more. And I'm happy to include my husband in my own personal list. :)

For every incident I've had in real life with easily threatened, intimidated white people who believe that their need to be comfortable is far more important than my need for basic human rights and dignity, I've had almost as many incidents with white people who GET IT. I mean, truly GET IT and who have stood right by my side and others.

I'll never forget many years ago when I worked at without question, one of the most racially hostile work environments I have EVER had the misfortune to come across. Black people were openly harassed there with no repercussions. We were denied opportunities that whites there took for granted. (I'll never forget being told that I had to take a writing test to get a job there as a writer. When I mentioned the test to my white male colleague who had even less experience than I had but had already been given one of the writing positions I was going for, he looked absolutely baffled. "What writing test?" he asked me.)

I remember my last day at this place (I simply could endure the bullshit no longer) and an older white man stood up and made a really ostentatious display of thanking me for all the work I'd done there. He then turned to the senior leadership and asked them point blank would the day ever arrive that people of color would be given any genuine authority in that office and ticked off a list of "we don't have any black ___ here. Why is that?" "We have no Asian ___ here. Why is that?" He did this in front of the ENTIRE STAFF. I could have kissed that man. I will never forget him or what he did.

[wndycty]

5. K&R

Throughout the increased intensity of the discussion of race I have really be so proud of your contributions.

:kick:

[Empowerer]

14. Thanks, wndycty - I feel the same about you!

:hug:

[EffieBlack]

8. This is SO similar to my own experience!

And it's the experience shared by many, many minorities - especially those of us who are "firsts" in any previously all-white office or organization.

Another aspect is the additional burden we carry by virtue of the fact that we're not responsible for just ourselves but know that our performance will determine whether the door we kicked in will remain open for minorities who come behind us.

I stayed far longer than I wanted in one job - long after the racial discrimination and double standards had become almost unbearable - because I knew that if I left before another black person was hired, it would be forever before they hired another minority. And when they finally did hire another black person (who had to jump through an incredible number of hoops and prove themselves so far superior to any of the white applicants that there should have been no question that he was the most qualified, yet, of course, there were still doubts about his fitness for the position) , I stuck around even longer so that I could mentor him, thereby taking on another of those "part-time jobs" that minorities get stuck doing as you once referenced.

As you said, none of these people were racists or even bigots in the purest sense of the words. In many instances, they were just ignorant and didn't know any better. I actually felt sorry for most of them.

But they were prejudiced, no matter how well-meaning they were. And they made my life and that of other minorities miserable.

[treestar]

10. It's somewhat appalling they don't see that they are doing that

As far as their clients - using them as an excuse - that's just wrong. The client is not always right. (I've always hated that saying that the customer is always right - quite often the customer is an asshole).

One can hardly tell whether it's really unconscious or that they are finding a way to maintain white privilege. Probably both. If all you have in that competition out there for jobs is that you're white, and you think that an advantage, then a lot of people will be weak and go with it (while attempting to deny it the entire time - after all, they have to believe they were the most competent and deserving to be hired).

[Empowerer]

11. And I shared just a few of my experiences - the tip of the iceberg

There were so many more . . .

Being expected to attend golf and tennis outings at country clubs with written policies forbidding memberships to blacks, women and Jews . . . forbad membership to blacks, women and Jews . . .

Having a client once repeatedly use the n-word to me on the phone, not knowing I was black - and when shaking and in tears, I reported it to my senior supervisor, watching him laugh and say, "Oh, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. What did you say that set him off?" And then being taken off of the project without the client ever being told he had insulted and demeaned me (because, as they told me with straight faces, he was a major client and there was no reason to embarrass him) . . .

Learning that, after being extremely impressed with a document I drafted, one of my bosses asked several of my white associates whether I had actually written it or whether one of them had written it for me . . .

Being told by one of my bosses that I'd get along a lot better with everyone if I stopped being so "ethnic" . . .

and so on and so on and so on . . .

[treestar]

15. Wow.

What assholes. The guy on the phone - what a moron. Senior supervisor should have called client and fired him as client. Unless we do things like that, people will think that because they have money, they can get away with anything.

I've heard right wingers, and R. Limbaugh the moron, indicate that President Obama must have gotten into Harvard by "affirmative action" which they just assume "must" be the case. This is why these morons want to see his school records, something they didn't need to see for any other President (even other Democrats).

Also their ridiculous claim that he did not write his book Dreams from My Father - I read it and it shows the President to be an excellent writer. To the idiots, it must be that someone else wrote it. As if that weren't ridiculous enough, they nominate Ayers as the writer. (face palm)

[Empowerer]

16. You make some very interesting, insightful observations

And your points raise another point . . .

The assumption that President Obama is a "quota kid" and that he didn't write his own book is very similar in vein to what many African Americans have to deal with every day - I've personally had to fight these specific accusations and assumptions all of my adult life - which may be one of the reasons that we are particularly sensitive to these kinds of slights against him.

While some well-meaning white liberals might see us as overly-sensitive and unnecessarily defensive of him in this regard, I think that some of that view is based on a lack of understanding that this happens all of the time to African Americans - whether we're working in a factory, in a law firm, at a university, in a small business or in a large corporate office. So it's perfectly logical for us to be extremely suspicious when we see these kinds of questions raised about the president or see him measured against a different yardstick than we think a white president would be. While to some people, this might seem far-fetched or just looking for something to complain about, we know these things happen. And we're also familiar with the kind of dismissive reaction that we're seeing some people give us here.

Some people might think we're being unreasonable. But to many of us, based on our first-hand experience, any other interpretation would be delusional.

[Cherchez la Femme]

17. One can be racist and exert no 'control' at all.

Definition fail.

[Empowerer]

18. Kick