Non Sequitur Toon : Absolutely!

[n2doc]

[WhiteTara]

1. Again, you've made my day!

That was priceless.

[lunatica]

2. Sigh. If it were only true...

[Wilms]

3. Greedy guy shows up at the pearly gate expecting to get into heaven.

St. Peter says, "I'm sorry but your name is not on the list". Greedy guy says, "There must be a mistake. After all, I once gave a homeless person a dollar. Go check this out with your boss."

St. Peter obliges him and goes to God, explaining the situation. God thinks about it for a moment and says to St. Pete, "Give him his dollar back and tell him to go to hell".

[TlalocW]

4. St. Peter decides to streamline entry into Heaven

So when a big enough crowd shows up outside the Pearly Gates, he sends angels out to handle them. The angels start by dividing up everyone into their particular religious groups. After that is done, and after another short wait, one group is let in. As they file past everyone else, many of the group smirk at members of the other religions. An hour passes, and another angel comes out and says, "We apologize for the wait. Would the rest of you please follow me, and we'll start your tour of Heaven."

The tour goes well - everyone is amazed. Various buildings are visited including one before entering the angel turns to everyone and says, "I need you all to be very quiet while we go through this building. No one speak. I would have us walk around it, but it adds too much time to the tour." They go through the building silently, seeing no one. Various wings turn off the main passageway, leading to what looks like living quarters for large numbers of people.

The end of the tour comes, and the angel asks the group if they have any questions. One guy raises his hand and says, "Yeah, I have two. First, who was the group that got to go into Heaven before all of us, and second, whose building was that where we had to be really quiet?"

The angel replies, "The answer to both your questions is the same: Southern Baptists. We find that if we let them think that they're the only ones getting in, and we can get them out of the way fast enough, Heaven can still remain pleasant for the rest of us."

[rustydog]

5. A man and his dog were walking along a road.

The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.

He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?
Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

[TlalocW]

6. 3 Married Couples All Show Up Before St. Peter at the Same Time

The first couple approaches, and St. Peter says, "Ma'am, you have lived an exemplary life, and you may enter Heaven now, but you, sir, loved money so much, you married your wife because her name is Penny. Your punishment is to enter Purgatory and stay there for 100 years. The escalator down is back the way you came."

As Penny enters Heaven, her husband turns around to trudge to the escalator calling after her, "See you in 100, Penny." The second couple approaches. "Ma'am, you have also lived an exemplary life, and you may enter Heaven now, but you, sir, loved alcohol so much, you married your wife because her name is Margarita. Your punishment is to enter Purgatory and stay there for 100 years." The second man turns around to follow the first, calling after his wife, "See you in 100, Margarita!"

The third couple approaches, and before St. Peter can say anything, the third man turns around and starts following the other two to Purgatory. He calls out to his wife, "See you in 100, Fanny."

TlalocW

[madokie]

7. Thanks I had to pass that on. rec'd n/t

[MorningGlow]

8. Enjoyed this one immeasurably especially because

I just flew across the country to attend my niece's college graduation with my 86 YO mother and 7 YO son in tow. Spent WAAAYYY too much time watching jowly self-important middle-aged white guys get preferential treatment boarding and flying first class while we slogged past them (as they sipped their free drinks and stared at us like cows from their comfortably wide leather seats) on the way to "the back of the bus". :puke: (Childish, perhaps, but I gave them all dirty looks on the way through. Maybe I got one or two of them to feel slightly guilty. But probably not.)

Seriously--on all four flights, first class had NO women, children, or people of color. Disturbing.

[Pacifist Patriot]

11. While I've certainly noticed a disproportionate number of...

middle-aged white guys in first class, I have to speak out on behalf of a few of them.

Some are there because their jobs have them flying constantly. Those free drinks came after hundreds of hours and thousands of miles spent on planes away from their families trying to make ends meet. I personally know quite a few middle-aged white guys who are sitting in first class when they'd much rather be home with their wife and kids.

Maybe we should be asking why other types of people aren't getting those jobs too. I think it says more about employment equality than anything else.

Do I feel guilty when I sit in first class (middle-aged white woman)? Nah, not really. I endured "the back of the bus" on oodles of flight to quality for that cushy seat. So feel free to look at me with disgust and disdain. There are plenty of other flights where I'm ushering my kids to the economy section and not receiving preferential treatment.

Would I rather an airplane not have class cabins and have adequate accommodations for everyone? Sure.

Am I going to resent it when someone gets something I can't have? Life's too short. You make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing.

[XOKCowboy]

12. Thank you...

That would have been me also. I didn't buy the seats but flying overseas several times in "economy" (now that's torture for a guy over 6' tall) qualified me for airline status and upgrades. I was very thankful for them and never felt shamed for sitting in first/business. I earned it.

[MorningGlow]

13. Yeah, I know about the business travelers

But the question of "why other types of people aren't getting those jobs too" is something that needs to be asked, for sure. That's what really irks me, not the fact that first class exists. It's like first class on an airplane is a snapshot of inequality in the corporate environment, like everyone who has high-paying jobs/is above the glass ceiling is middle-aged, white, and male, and everybody else is trapped under glass.

[Angry Dragon]

9. I liked the added jokes

[jimlup]

10. Except that I think some people actually believe this cartoon and it prevents

Except that I think some people actually believe this cartoon and it prevents them from taking action now thinking that it will all be settled in the "afterlife".