Last American Who Knew What The Fuck He Was Doing Dies

[meegbear]

Steve Jobs, the visionary co-founder of Apple Computers and the only American in the country who had any clue what the fuck he was doing, died Wednesday at the age of 56. "We haven't just lost a great innovator, leader, and businessman, we've literally lost the only person in this country who actually had his shit together and knew what the hell was going on," a statement from President Barack Obama read in part, adding that Jobs will be remembered both for the life-changing products he created and for the fact that he was able to sit down, think clearly, and execute his ideas—attributes he shared with no other U.S. citizen. "This is a dark time for our country, because the reality is none of the 300 million or so Americans who remain can actually get anything done or make things happen. Those days are over." Obama added that if anyone could fill the void left by Jobs it would probably be himself, but said that at this point he honestly doesn’t have the slightest notion what he’s doing anymore.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/last-american-who-knew-what-the-fuck-he-was-doing,26268/

[MH1]

1. I really do love the Onion.

I wonder if the people unreccing this don't realize IT'S THE ONION ??

[tblue]

2. Good one, Onion!

I'm very sad about his passing away tho.

[uppityperson]

3. k&r for The Onion

[Permanut]

4. Very dark satire...

brilliantly done. Not unusual for the Onion.

[Baby Bear]

5. Love The Onion

I was very pleased that Brooke Alvarez returned for the new season in time to cover the end of the world.

[madrchsod]

8. do you know brooke worked for fox news?

[Baby Bear]

11. No!

I didn't even know she was a real person!

[TBF]

6. ...

:rofl:

[Major Hogwash]

7. Not only that, but Apple was just about to release iDrone 2.0, a faster better drone!

Ohhh, mama.

[Stinky The Clown]

9. Wickedly brilliant and no doubt intended for the very obvious message it really conveys

Without a doubt, many will miss the message.

[Ellipsis]

10. K&R

:thumbsup: