Man jailed after trying to turn feces into gold

[marmar]

Man jailed after trying to turn faeces into gold
By Richard Evans | Yahoo! News – 13 hours ago


A man from Northern Ireland has been jailed after an experiment in which he attempted to turn his own faeces into gold went wrong and started a fire in a block of flats.

Paul Moran will now serve three months in jail and a further 12 months on license after the failed experiment caused a fire at his Housing Executive home in Derrin Park, Enniskillen.

Moran admitted arson and endangering the lives of others in the fire, which reportedly caused over £3,000 worth of damage.

It is thought that as part of the bizarre experiment Moran left his faeces, along with other waste products such as fertiliser, on a heater. ...............(more)

The complete piece is at: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/man-jailed-after-trying-to-turn-faeces-into-gold-.html

[Capitalocracy]

1. Rumpelstiltskin

You're doing it wrong.

[DainBramaged]

11. Rumpelsthitskin

[zappaman]

2. Well, it works with Adam Sandler movies. n/t

[EOTE]

15. Awesome. NT

[Enrique]

19. perfect

:thumbsup:

[Earth_First]

3. Bahahahaha! His name is Moran...

:rofl:

[malaise]

7. DUzy

:rofl:

[BiggJawn]

32. +1

[WillParkinson]

4. Well that's shitty....

Oh, come on. Someone was gonna say it.

[Initech]

5. But isn't that what Rush Limbaugh was trying to accomplish? *rimshot*

[tomg]

6. Shit and gold.

I didn't know Glenn beck moved to Northern Ireland.

[TheCowsCameHome]

8. He should've quit when it turned to silver - greed is a terrible thing

What a Moran........

[librechik]

9. When Morgan Stanley does that they don't go to jail

wtf

:sarcasm:

[madinmaryland]

10. Get a Brain, Moran!!

:rofl:

[petronius]

12. I am so damn sick of the anti-science mentality pervading society these days!

How many brilliant discoveries will go un-made as a result of this chilling, tyrannical, judicial persecution? :mad:

[Capitalocracy]

13. Alchemists unite!

Even though the alchemists have pretty much run out of ideas, I think. "What haven't we tried turning into gold yet?" "Shit." "Uhh... OK, light it up."

[surrealAmerican]

14. This just gives responsible alchemists a bad name.

It's bad for the profession.

[Historic NY]

16. What a load of crap.

[pintobean]

17. That's some hot shit.........pure gold

Never say that where a Moran might hear you.

[tammywammy]

18. Golden Turd....

[rug]

20. How come no one on Wall Street is in jail?

[jtuck004]

29. Becaues they turned gold into shit, which is, apparently, not illegal. /nt

[saras]

21. Alchemy is a religion, of sorts. It has the same success rate.

The reason he's in jail and not getting fined is because, in spite of the fire, it worked.
:sarcasm:

The article doesn't actually tell much. I'm curious as to how serious an alchemist he was. It would certainly be possible to collect enough nitrates from some fertilizers, natural or otherwise, to make some impressive fireworks. And it's pretty hard to set human shit on fire, even dried, unlike ruminant poop.

[Bake]

22. If dog turds were dollars, I've have a yard full of gold!

Hmm ... that kinda sounds like a country song.

:hi:

Bake

[dixiegrrrrl]

23. So Bush was really full of ....gold?

[Bake]

24. Indeed!

:hi:

Bake

[Nye Bevan]

25. He should have started with something less ambitious, like turning urine into beer.

Whoops, Budweiser already figured that one out.

[Fire Walk With Me]

26. This would make a good Monty Python sketch..."Hello, I'd like to sell some gold."

[NutmegYankee]

27. What a fool! Only Wall Street can turn shit into Gold!

[Odin2005]

30. LMAO!

[Raksha]

33. Exactly what I was thinking!

[MrMickeysMom]

28. ...

SHIT!

[pinboy3niner]

31. Been There, Done That...

Supplies are dwindling fast, visit my website to place your order, FAST. Quantities per order are strictly limited, and the offer of free Ginsu knives with each order expires soon.

[Generic Brad]

34. Shitting gold bricks

Priceless!

[sakabatou]

35. Hey, Moran, alchemy doesn't objectively exist.