Said on the TeeVee

[Scuba]

Letterman

Top Ten Signs Herman Cain's Campaign Is In Trouble

10 Can't afford cigarettes for new campaign ads
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1 There's a 0-0-0 chance he'll be president



Fallon

Two lawmakers in New York have proposed a bill that would make it a felony to sell fake maple syrup and label it as the real thing. Or as one confused Occupy Wall Street protester put it, “We did it! What? This isn’t about syrup?”


Leno

Herman Cain told a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters to go home, get a job, and get a life. That's the Republican version of hope and change, ladies and gentlemen.