http://www.slate.com/id/2277569/The Visit That Never Ends
Readers tell Great Recession stories of moving back home.By Emily Yoffe
Posted Tuesday, Dec. 21, 2010, at 7:04 AM ET
Soon you'll be home for Christmas, sleeping in your childhood bed for a few days, or camping on some relative's basement sofa. Millions of Americans caught in the Great Recession, however, have been experiencing a visit home that never ends. They are living like the Waltons, the fictional Depression-era family that had three generations under one roof, and which frequently took in lost, flat-broke souls.
We asked Slate readers who have had to return home or who have taken in friends or relatives to tell us what it's like to live in a multi-generational household. We heard from people who are now staying with grandparents, parents, in-laws, siblings, and friends. These impromptu arrangements can mean the difference between a warm bed and living in the car, but the experience is emotionally roiling. People described alternating surges of shame and gratitude, their relief at having a safe place to land tempered by worry about ever being able to get out. Many people wrote of unexpected, sweet moments of connection they never would have experienced in better times. But just as often, they hoped for those better times to return, so that they can get their stuff out of boxes and kiss their loved ones farewell.
"Hey, Baby, I'm Unemployed and I Live with My Parents."
One effect of the recession not captured by the Bureau of Labor Statistics is what living with your parents does to your eligibility as a romantic partner. A few years back, a reader who calls himself Rajni put his administrative career in higher education on hold to follow his successful girlfriend as her career took her around the country. They broke up, and he moved in with his parents for what he thought would be a few months until he landed a job. Then the recession landed, and now he is heading toward year three of living at home. He writes, "I never imagined I'd be unmarried at 37. When I hear the slurs we use for adults living at home, like 'man-child' or 'mama's boy,' they sting, even though I don't think they apply to me. Still, I know most women want an established man with a great career. Even if I'm emotionally mature with great life experiences, my unemployment makes me a work-in-progress. I used to think I was a catch; every passing month makes me less of one. Should I try to make my case on Match.com with brazen, unemployed honesty? With a profile picture that's got my folks in the background, holding a sign that says 'It's not as bad as it looks'?"
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I have noticed this phenomena in my own neighborhood. I would say half of the 50 or so homes in this one subdivision have at least one 30ish son, daughter or other family member living back at home with them right now. Some have more than one back home. Some never left. Some have left and brought back a couple of little kids home with them. Probably only ten little kids who actually live out here with only their parents. But when the school bus comes by there are probably close to 50 little kids waiting out at the bus stop when I walk my dog.
Never seen it like this before during my lifetime.
Don