Imagine

[Kennah]

Breaking news. In a massive election fraud investigation conducted by the FBI and numerous state and local law enforcement agencies, the state of American politics has been thrown into turmoil.

If initial reports are correct, the Democratic Party actually gained 6 seats in the U.S. Senate last month. It is unclear at this point exactly how many seats were actually gained in the U.S. House of Representatives, but according to FBI spokesman Michael Torres, "We believe the numbers indicate that Democrats actually gained some 10-12 seats in the House."

One of the more unusual revelations shows that Bill Halter actually won the Democratic Senate Primary in Arkansas against incumbent Blanche Lincoln.

What will likely be a devastating blow to the GOP, Democrat Justin Coussoule defeated Republican incumbent John Boehner 51% to 49%. In seemingly related news, Mr. Boehner's true last name was revealed when his Kenyan birth certificate surfaced in WikiLeaks documents. His birth last name is spelled B-O-N-E-R.

Tomorrow will be a Christmas to remember.

[Taverner]

1. Shit, even if this happened, the Dems wouldn't push the issue

See: Al Gore after 2000 election