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Had the immaculate conception been Joseph, and Joseph, how would that have affected christianity?

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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:26 PM
Original message
Had the immaculate conception been Joseph, and Joseph, how would that have affected christianity?
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 01:28 PM by WingDinger
Funny thought. God is right, God is good. Would that fly? Can God REALLY do as he will? What if he decides to honor Gay marriage? Or any other nonstarter of the religiously pious?
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:26 PM
Response to Original message
1. Coherence is not your forte.
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Nor grace yours.
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 01:38 PM by WingDinger
As it is, Christianity is considered one heaping paradox.
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #2
11. I wasn't attempting it. I was attempting to comprehend your post, however.
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 01:47 PM by WinkyDink
"Had the immaculate conception been Joseph, and Joseph,"...?

(BTW: The "Immaculate Conception" refers not to that of Christ, but that of Mary.)http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/07674d.htm
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:28 PM
Response to Original message
3. Can God create a rock he can't lift?
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:29 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Indeed. He cannot FIX man.
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 01:49 PM by WingDinger
As Paul found out. God is a little like Nixon. If the president does it, it is good/legal!
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Cid_B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #3
10. Could he microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it...?
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superduperfarleft Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:29 PM
Response to Original message
5. .
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WillowTree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:30 PM
Response to Original message
6. Sounds like a really tricky delivery. They weren't doing C-sections in stables back then ya know..
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:31 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Disciples lived together. Monks too. They were family!
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Samirimas{sp.} was born of a fish. Thus catholic fishmouth hats.
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 01:47 PM by WingDinger
Many religions of old were born in funky ways!

Remus and Romulus were suckled by wolves.
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Stevenmarc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 02:37 PM
Response to Reply #6
16. Yes if Joseph had to push that out I can see how we got the name JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. When the sons of God looked down upon the fair women, they declared HUBBA HUBBA
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 02:56 PM by WingDinger
And thus, the Nephilim were born. And usually, if not always, they died in childbirth. Goliath, reportedly, was one.


Nephilim in the Hebrew Bible
(Translations according to New International Version. Note that translations frequently differ. In the King James Version of the Bible, "Nephilim" is translated as "giants" in the following examples.)

The term "Nephilim" occurs just twice in the Hebrew Bible, both in the Torah. The first is Genesis 6:1-4, immediately before the Noah's ark story:

1. When men began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them,
2. the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose.
3. Then the LORD said, "My Spirit will not contend with man forever, for he is mortal; his days will be a hundred and twenty years."
4. The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.
The second is Numbers 13:32-33, where the Hebrew spies report that they have seen fearsome giants in Canaan:

32. And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, "The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size.
33. We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, we have largely determined that the giants were the explanation for mastadon bones.
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Edweird Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
9. Hah. Now THAT'S a miracle that would make me question my atheism!
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 01:39 PM by Edweird
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REP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
12. Sigh. MARY was the immaculate conception, not Jesus
Why don't Christians know their own legends?
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 01:50 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. Yes, and in my conception, it is Joseph, I mean the other one.
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REP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 07:43 PM
Response to Reply #13
30. This myth relies on a god being born of a sinless virgin. Explain a man giving birth.
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 07:43 PM by REP
Women give birth. Men cannot. Biology is a harsh mistress.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 02:12 PM
Response to Original message
14. What if the Immaculate Conception had been Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat?
Now that would be a Christmas worth celebrating!
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 02:31 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Is the amazing technicolor dreamcoat a rhetorical condom?
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jody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
18. Your lack of knowledge re "immaculate conception" is awesome. n/t
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 03:21 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. Given that the Immac, concept. was likely an ad hoc invention, rightly so.
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 03:24 PM by WingDinger
Women were referred to as virgins until some time into the marriage. Jesus would not have a human core, if not for his being of sperm AND egg. Just as christians have assumed that God made man, as now, in human modern image, so too can we assume that prideful man assumes that God didnt put a little zing, in Joseph and Mary's DNA. The immac was to suppose jesus as of the lineage of ALL MAN, instead of one mans line. Also, it was to glorify his MOM, which he himself, gave somewhat short shrift. When he said, who are my mother and brothers but believers. Etc.

What is YOUR concept of the IMMAC CONCEPT?
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 03:28 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. Deleted sub-thread
Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 04:03 PM
Response to Original message
21. Wiki states, The doctrine states that, from the first moment of her existence, Mary was preserved by
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 04:31 PM by WingDinger
The doctrine states that, from the first moment of her existence, Mary was preserved by God from the Original Sin and filled with sanctifying grace that would normally come with baptism after birth.

So then, if God so chooses, he can eeek out another path, but the blood of Jesus, to sanctify us. Thus making Jesus sacrifice redundant. There are proscriptions against this kind of thinking.

This is the worlds first instance of God, as female condom.
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Quantess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 04:07 PM
Response to Original message
22. That would certainly put a twist in the Christian Theme Parks
that are popping up all over the USA.
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. Is the Kentucky ark, a water park ride?
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 04:19 PM by WingDinger
Or do they just wait for 2012?

They would likely get rid of the fore/aft seating arrangement usual at parks.
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Zax2me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 04:19 PM
Response to Original message
24. Ah, Christmas here is priceless....
Poke.
Prod.
The freedom of religion is a hard concept for some to grasp.
It's not that hard, really.
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 04:20 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. And I'm a christian!
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lunatica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 04:33 PM
Response to Original message
26. If God doesn't have a sense of humor then the joke's on him
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 04:56 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. I trust he will steer me clear of the unpardonable joke.
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Raine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 07:21 PM
Response to Original message
28. Then there would be only one sex
no need for two, is what I'm thinking.
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. Supposedly, the only reason to create woman, is helpmate. And until christianity, servant.ish
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 07:27 PM by WingDinger
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 07:51 PM
Response to Original message
31. Joseph would have had a tough time delivering the baby Jesus.
That much is for sure. :P

God does love gay people. It's his followers (a lot of, not all) who seem not to realize that God don't make no junk. If God made us all, then God made gay people too and God don't make no junk.

Honestly, if there really is a God, I imagine he does face palms quite often.
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WingDinger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-25-10 07:57 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Right you are, Plenty of people that will split, if Dahmer shows up in heaven. Or anyone
Edited on Sat Dec-25-10 07:59 PM by WingDinger
else they deem unfit. All the way to republicans. God must follow protocol
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