An Open Letter to America from The Corporation

[maxrandb]

Dear America,

Some of you may have seen the recent 60 Minutes story about how I and my fellow corporations have been obtaining post office boxes in Sweden to avoid paying corporate taxes. Well, I want to thank you for understanding our plight. Despite that I am setting records for profit; I must renounce my citizenship so that I can pay 15% corporate taxes to Sweden, vice 25% to the United States. It doesn’t matter that I have made my fortune in America (thank you), and it doesn’t matter that the people you elected to represent you set 25% as the “reasonable” tax rate for me. I simply disagree, so I am taking my money and hiding it overseas. You would do the same, but you really can’t compete with me. I spend $100K on a politician, and I get $2B in return…you just can’t beat that type of return on investment.

You see, if I were to pay 25% in taxes, instead of 15%, I would only be able to give my CEO a $40M bonus, vice a $70M bonus. I must keep the “best and the brightest”, you know?. I’m sure that if “you” were working at a job and only got a $40M bonus, you’d move on to “better” things. I also need to pay 15% in taxes instead of 25% so that my shareholders get a return of 12% vice 8%. Remember, when I say “shareholders”, you don’t think of my CEO who has 500,000 shares of stock in a $250M portfolio, you must think of the poor middle class retiree who has $30000 in a 401k. It is that poor middle class American that is most on my mind. He’s the one I really look out for. A “rising tide”, and all that...

I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful. Were it not for your fantastic infrastructure and highway system, I’d have a hell of a time getting my goods to market. Your public education system ensures that I have a highly educated and skilled workforce to develop, manufacture and market my products, and for that I am eternally grateful. I’m just not grateful enough to pay for it.

So America, that’s the way it’s going to be. If you lower the corporate tax rate, I might just bring all this money back home. I promise I wouldn’t lavish it on bonuses or corporate jets, or use it to buy more politicians. I’ll pay my fair share, but only what I say is fair…and only until I can get a better deal elsewhere, ‘cause that’s what I do…and remember…I do it for the little people.

Love,

The Corporation

[fasttense]

1. 25% is the stated rate but 0% is the effective rate most corporations pay in taxes. n/t

[polichick]

2. So true - and voters should be in the streets about this!

[JohnnyRingo]

3. I understand how they get politicians to do their bidding, but

I'll never figure out how they get everyday citizens to plead their case for them.
Most Tea Baggers and Steve Forbes suspiciously have the same goals. Only one can realize that goal, while the other is a sort of a cheerleader on the corporate sideline who thinks her good looks and team support will net her a big time movie role.

[unblock]

4. given enough control of the debate, they right-wing can always bamboozle enough, it seems

i've met republicans who fully acknowledge that republicans lie like crazy, that they talk about 'fiscal responsibility' but are responsible for 5/6th of the national debt. they agree and are frustrated with republicans on this and other points.

but they believe that ALL politicians lie and vote republican because they find the republican lies more appealing. i mean, it's one thing to believe that on a sub-conscious level, but i know republicans who are fully conscious of this and have no problem voting on that basis.

how can you possibly get through to someone who thinks like that?

[maxrandb]

5. I think it's a very simple explanation

The Teabaggers are simply a group of Americans making between $39K to $45K a year, who have identified their enemy as their fellow Americans making between $42K - $47K a year.

They've been told so many times that if you cut taxes, it makes the economy boom and creates jobs, that they actually believe that clap-trap.

They point to the Reagan years as an example, but what they won't admit, and can't comprehend, is that the increase in economic growth under Reagan had little to do with tax policy, and MUCH to do with the fact that he quadruppled the debt!!!

Give me a blank check-book with no limit, and I guarantee you I'll make you think you're economy is BOOOMING!

Then again, you also have the brain-dead "DILDO-Heads" who make $12 an hour and listen to Rush for 21 hours a week thinking that; if they just keep supporting lower taxes on the wealthy, when they make a million dollars, their taxes will be low. :eyes:

Want to see a Teabaggers head spew smoke? Ask him to figure out how long it would take to accumulate $1,000,000 if you saved $10 a day from the day you were born?

Hint: It's slightly less than 300 YEARS!