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Last night I saw a movie called "American The Bill Hicks Story". It made me realize that the loss of this man was a bigger than I imagined. A true no bullshit liberal. These are some of his best quotes:
"People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left."
"You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know. During the Persian Gulf war, those intelligence reports would come out: “Iraq: incredible weapons — incredible weapons.” “How do you know that?” “Uh, well… we looked at the receipts. But as soon as that check clears, we’re goin’ in.”
"Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um, — they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? There’s another 90 percent of our brains that we have to illuminate"
"You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, it looks like he rushed it"
"I’ll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. “I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.” “I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.” “Hey, wait a minute, there’s one guy holding out both puppets!” “Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. By the way, keep drinking beer, you fucking morons.”
"Oh, there’s a threat to America! Yeah, yeah, yeah… Back to that fuckin’ COPS show. ‘Cuz I’ll tell you who the threat to freedom… no, no, not to freedom. I’ll tell you who the threat to the status quo is in this country: it’s us. That’s why they show you shows like fuckin’ COPS. So you know that state power will win and we’ll bust your house down and we’ll fuckin’ bust you anytime we want. That’s the message."
"I loved when Bush came out and said, “We are losing the war against drugs.” You know what that implies? There’s a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it."
"I’ve noticed a certain anti-intellectualism going around this country; since about 1980, oddly enough…I was in Nashville, Tennessee and after the show I went to a Waffle House. I’m not proud of it, but I was hungry. And I’m sitting there eating and reading a book. I don’t know anybody, I’m alone, so I’m reading a book. The waitress comes over to me like, “What’chu readin’ for?” I had never been asked that. Not “What am I reading?”, but “What am I reading for?” Goddangit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don’t end up being a fucking waffle waitress."
"They’re putting the cart before the horse on this pornography issue. Playboy doesn’t cause sexual thoughts. Sexual thoughts exist and, therefore, there is Playboy. Do you see?… You know what causes sexual thoughts? I’m gonna clear the air for you tonight. I’m gonna end this debate, hopefully once and for all while on this planet, ’cause outer space awaits our presence, we are better and more unique creatures than this and all eternity is our playground, so let me go ahead and clear this one issue up once and for all and let’s move on to real issues. Here’s what causes sexual thoughts: having a dick."
"Why is pot against the law? It wouldn’t be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can’t make a profit off it, would it?
They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you’re high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it’s not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference."
"That’s what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials, “Here’s you brain, here’s your brain on drugs”, “Just Say No”, “Why do you think they call it dope?” … And then the next commercial is “This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs; those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you. Nicotine, alcohol… gooddrugs, coincidentally taxed drugs."
"I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country … how are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one?"
"I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House."
"This is the material, by the way, that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for the past 15 years. Gee, I wonder why we're hated the world over? Look at these fat Americans in the front row - 'Why doesn't he just hit fruit with a hammer?' Folks, I could have done that, walked around being a millionaire and franchising myself but no, I had to have this weird thing about trying to illuminate the collective unconscious and help humanity. Fucking moron."
RIP my friend, we could sure use you now.
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