May the 4th [View all]

[gay texan]

My dad is a Vietnam war vet. He saw the worst of it, the 1968 Tet. Blood and guts combat.

One day he opened up about the bullshit factor of the war:

"Here i was about to go home, and a fella aproached me. He wanted me to stay and build baracks. Damnded if it wasnt double what it was making at my regular job back home when i got drafted. Thats when i realized this was a god-damned money maker. Brave people died for this bullshit. The people didnt want us there, but they were making money hand over fist"

So yeah, those who protested were right.

In essence, this was a useless fucking war. Dads 83 and hes still mad about it, even with fading memory. The people responsible for the bloodshed were never held accountable.


That anger boiled over to me and my sibling growing up. Hair trigger temper. "Daddy's grumpy today" my mom would say. There were times when he was a dad, then there were times when he was a monster. Waking up from nightmares. Hearing dad yell orders to people who were no longer there.

For a long time i absolutely fucking hated and resented my Dad. Until i found out the truth of what he had seen and done. What he was ordered to do. The things he was afraid to talk about.

I forgave him. He wasnt given the tools to deal with what he had seen and done.


He was a simple baseball playing kid from Oklahoma. I have 8mm footage of him before and after the war. Happy fun go lucky, then after he was gunfighter cold. Chain smoking, cold, distant stare. Think Yul Bryner gunfighter type cold.

I want to belive that the people that died at Kent state, didnt die in vain. I want to belive that their lives helped expose to the public what was happening and helped put a stop to it.

All of this happened before i was born. Its only now ive been able to put it all together.