I am struggling to handle internal conflict inside me.

I was raised Catholic but left the church for a number of reasons I have gone into in other forums. I won't go back into them here.

My faith in God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and Mary, and the rest of the saints are still there. What I am struggling with is I have always been taught we are not supposed to hate others. We are supposed to turn the other cheek and forgive. Yet I feel like it would be lying to God if I said I didn't hate the Maga leaders and their cult members. I feel that hate because they do nothing but willfully harm others who have nothing to harm them.

I believe that is evil and that's why I feel such anger towards them. I would never act out that anger physically, as I believe in non violence. I do sometimes, however beg God in my prayers to punish them. Today when I saw a video of a counter protester saying God bless DT, I found myself saying God F DT. Now I feel guilty.

I said the Act of Contrition, but I still feel like it's dishonest of me to say to myself or God that I can ever feel anything but pure disgust for dt and the rest of them. How am I not supposed to hate people who get joy from hurting other people, and who literally do everything they can to make other people's lives miserable? I mean what about Hitler and Stalin? Were people supposed to love and forgive them. Does anyone else feel this conflict and how do I cope with it?

My Favorite Sign From Saturday

It was posted by my friend who lives near Albany NY. "No bone spurs in our family. Only two Purple Hearts."

34 years ago my Dad passed away.

I still miss him everyday!

Oh Deer

Sorry no pictures because my phone was in the house. When I went to retrieve Hissy's ( semi-feral kitty) empty food dish from her shed, there were two full grown does standing very still watching me. They were only a couple of feet away from me in the field. I was afraid they'd bolt and run toward the road, but they just stood there.

On the way back out, with the cat following me, they were still there. Apparently they must have realized I meant them no harm, and they started eating from the field. The cat ignored them as she was more interested in getting her after dinner snacks. She likes to eat them el fresco on a bench under the a tree.

I accidentally left eggs in my shopping bag

in a paper bag on dining room table for a hour. Do I need to toss them?

Happy Gotcha Day to Dakota!

Happy Gotcha Day to my handsome best buddy, Dakota! Hard to believe it's been six years.

— Auralynn (@dogcat19.bsky.social) 2025-10-05T22:38:54.360Z

I feel sorry for our poor mailman.

His postal delivery truck has been making a horrible noise for over a week and a half now. It sounded much worse today. If they don't fix it for him soon, I think he is going to have to hand push it up and down the road, and our road isn't exactly a short one.

Rest in Peace Bobby Hart

Bobby Hart of the legendary Boyce and Hart has passed away. They wrote many of the Monkees major hits as well as a number of hits for other artists. It seems like so many of the musicians, singers, actors, and comedians who lifted my spirits on hard days, and brought me pure joy, are gone. It's like so many lights are going out and every time one does the darkness gets harder to dispel. I just haven't discovered anyone new other than Colin O'Donoghue ( who hasn't done any new filming in the U.S., and can't say I blame him), who keeps me so entertained that it distracts me from thinking too much about the negative side of the world like others have in the past.

At least I still have their music and the memories, and am glad Mickey Dolenz is still with us. I am including a tune Boyce and Heart performed with Micky and Davy Jones in their short spanned group Dolenz, Jones, Boyce, and Hart. It's appropriately named, "I Remember the Feeling. " Thank you for the music and smiles Bobby!⁷

Update on My Left Ear

Well I finally got into an ENT office on August 22. They said likely because I couldn't tolerate the Prednisone, because of my anxiety, I wasn't given a strong or long enough dose. They also said I should have probably been prescribed a stronger and longer course of antibiotics, as they believe the sinus infection damaged a nerve in my ear, and started causing it to start to die off.

The fantastic news however they now have a surgeon who is giving me a steroid injection right into my ear. Since it is localized it doesn't set off my anxiety.

I have had two of four doses so far and my hearing in that ear has almost been fully restored. The fullness in both ears is diminishing. The only downsides are the tinitus is still there, and am still having more vertigo than I used too( have always had some because of sinus and allergies) , but overall just really happy about being to hear again in that ear.

The surgeon said she can't guarantee anything, but she hopes the last two doses might at least lesson the remaining symptoms.

Alaska meeting pictures question?

Is it me or did DT'S face look even more bloated than usual?