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Ask
Auntie Pinko
May
31, 2001
Dear Readers,
After reading all the lovely mail that has crossed my desk
in the last two weeks or so, Auntie Pinko feels obliged to
provide a little additional explanation for the benefit of
a few of you who don't seem to be quite clear on what Auntie
Pinko does.
Auntie Pinko is a nice (well, I think I'm nice, of course)
little old lady who lives in a nice little house with a lovely
garden and a nice little pussy cat. Auntie Pinko likes people
very much and loves to help them out with the wisdom accumulated
over many years. Since I can't sit everyone down and give
them delicious home-made cookies and a glass of milk, I dispense
advice, answer questions, and provide my opinion on any subject
when solicited here on the Internet.
Oh, and by the way, Auntie Pinko is a Liberal. Readers, therefore,
should not feel at all surprised that Auntie Pinko's advice
has a partisan flavor to it, as I do not pretend in any way
to be objective. My friends of the Conservative persuasion
are of course free to write off or discount anything I say
on that ground. But I'll still be happy to answer any questions
you have about Liberals. Just wanted to clear that up, Readers!
Now on to a couple of quick questions:
Dear Auntie Pinko,
I split my ticket whenever I vote. Both conservative and
liberal friends are trying to reform me, and I have to hold
duplicate reunion, wedding, divorce, and graduation parties
because they won't talk to each other. How can I resolve this
without losing half my friends or going bankrupt?
Sincerely,
Member of the Mushy Middle,
Portland, Oregon
Dear MMM,
Heavens! What kind of friends do you have? If your friends
at either end of the political spectrum are so lacking in
basic courtesy that they are unable to share your Special
Occasions with you without exchanging polite conversation
with one another, you need to make some new friends. There
are plenty of nice folks in Portland. Or drop on by to Auntie
Pinko's little cottage and I'll invite some nice people over
for milk and cookies. Tsk-tsk.
Dear Auntie Pinko,
A few months ago there was a buzz all over the Internet
and the mainstream media that Barbra Streisand was putting
together a group of investors to buy a cable TV channel to
air liberal/progressive ideas. Was this a rumor, or is she
still going ahead with the idea?
Ayo Ogundele,
Denton, Texas
Dear Ayo,
Auntie Pinko is flattered that you would put her in the same
lofty celebrity circles as Ms Streisand and assume that I
am cognizant of her plans. However, Auntie Pinko is just a
humble advice columnist whose acquaintance tends to include
those whose abundant talents and merits receive far less public
acclaim. I suggest you contact Ms Streisand's publicist for
an answer to this question. You can probably find her on the
Internet. But thanks for asking Auntie Pinko!
View Auntie's Archive
Do
you have a question for Auntie Pinko?
Do political discussions discombobulate you? Are you a liberal
at a loss for words when those darned dittoheads babble their
endless rhetoric at you? Or are you a conservative who just
can't understand those pesky liberals and their silliness?
Auntie Pinko has an answer for everything! So ask away!
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