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Auntie Pinko
August
30, 2001
Dear Auntie Pinko,
I constantly find myself debating with others (mainly
conservatives) about gay rights (and civil rights in general).
They almost always start off with the quip that gays already
have the same rights as straight people and the gay rights
movement is just a trick to influence society to abandon "moral
values" and accept homosexuality. Mention stuff like marriage
or child custody, and their response is such things as marriage
and raising your kids aren't rights in the constitution and
so don't count. Insisting they are inevitably leads to the
conservative saying I have a victim complex because I'm gay.
So my question is three fold: 1. Are things like marriage,
presumed custody and not getting beat up or harassed in school
by teachers "rights" or just privileges straight people seem
to get? 2. How does one respond to a charge of having a victim
complex (any denial gets blown off as me being paranoid) 3.
Do all conservatives get handed Cliff Notes or something about
what to think on this? Every time I talk to one about this,
their responses are eerily similar.
Thanks,
booley
St. Louis, MO
Dear Booley,
Auntie Pinko has already more or less answered your first
question, I think. See the following: http://www.democraticunderground.com/auntie/2001_auntie_15.html
for my thoughts on the "rights" issue.
However, I'm happy to address your next two questions, as
they provide me with a nice opportunity to address a couple
of things that have been bothering me, too.
You ask how to respond to the "charge" of having a "victim
complex." Auntie Pinko has for some time been baffled by the
semantic shift in the connotations attached to the word "victim."
In my youth, "victim" was a word used to describe someone
who had been injured in some way by the actions of others.
As such, there was no disgrace or opprobrium attached to the
word, as the world is a perilous place. We knew that we would
all, at some point, be victims. It was an unfortunate thing
to be, but not a morally reprehensible thing to be.
Yet somehow, in this day and age, the assumption seems to
have crept in that anyone who is injured by the actions of
others somehow brought it upon themselves by a failure of
strength or character. Thus being a "victim" has become a
disgraceful thing to be. We sneer at "victims." We make "victim
complex" a shorthand reference for a disagreeable character
trait-that of pretending to injury for the sake of claiming
an unjustified sympathy or redress.
What a comfortable assumption for those who wish to disavow
the responsibility for how their actions affect others!
The charge that you and other gay persons have a "victim
complex" when you are advocating for the redress of injuries
caused by discrimination, is simply a way of minimizing the
effects of these injuries and denying the validity of your
claim to redress. By dignifying this "charge" with a response,
Booley, you accept their terms--and you allow them to divert
you from the main issue at hand into a petty little semantic
cul-de-sac. Stick to the point, and don't let such ad hominem
silliness reduce your effectiveness. Show up this trick for
what it is.
Finally, as to the alleged "Cliff Notes"-you may be onto
something. Auntie Pinko has never been one to engage in much
profitless time-wasting, but I understand from others that
even a few minutes listening to Mr. Limbaugh or other right-wing
hate mongers provides considerable insight into this "communal
brain" phenomenon.
Thank you for writing to Auntie Pinko!
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