|
Ask
Auntie Pinko
December
20, 2001
Dear Auntie Pinko,
Sorry if someone's already asked this, but I was just
wondering if someone could clarify for me how it is that Mr.
Bush's proposed Missile Defense Program intends to protect
us from radicals with box cutters?
Joe,
Richmond, VA
Dear Joe,
A secret Administration source has revealed to Auntie Pinko
that the defense contractors who will make billions on the
"Missile Shield" plan to purchase an SUV and a Home Theater
for each and every box-cutter-toting radical, thus neutralizing
the threat.
Hey, it could work… couldn't it?
Dear Auntie Pinko, If conservatives value the constitution
much more than liberals, as they claim, then why are they
opposed to the ACLU?
Jeff,
Atlanta, GA
Dear Jeff,
You misunderstand. The constitution so valued by the conservatives
is the one written by Billy Earl "Sparky" McQueen, that great
Revolutionary War patriot who said "Freedom's a good idea
as long as the nigras don't get ahold of it."
I hope that clears things up for you.
Dear Auntie Pinko,
Do the American people have any political power anymore,
or does it all belong to the elite rich and corporations?
Dave,
Toledo, OH
Dear Dave,
Yes.
Dear Auntie Pinko,
Why are Democrats so stupid and mean to Republicans?
Jo Bobba,
Allentown, PA
Dear Jo Bobba,
Just think of it as our version of chuggin' beer and scarfin'
pork rinds at the Monster Truck Rally.
And thank all you nice gentlemen for giving Auntie Pinko
a chance to cut a little sarky. It's all in good fun, right?
View
Auntie's Archive
Do
you have a question for Auntie Pinko?
Do political discussions discombobulate you? Are you a liberal
at a loss for words when those darned dittoheads babble their
endless rhetoric at you? Or are you a conservative who just
can't understand those pesky liberals and their silliness?
Auntie Pinko has an answer for everything! So ask away!
|
