Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
August 31, 2001
by Bob Boudelang

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that it's about time the conservatives had a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's rebuttal:

No-One Can Doubt The Mighty Power of George Bush's Economic Miracle So Stop Saying That!

Who's blood is not boiling now at the Democraps who have ruined the economy for the past eight years? Now they are saying our Great President George Bush (who was too elected if you don't count people's votes) has wrecked our surplus. Mine certainly is!

I know it is distracting me from my work at the bus station, where I am not just goofing off, and I wish you would tell Mr. Hernandez-Garcia that too. These are IMPORTANT issues that shape the destiny of the future of tomorrow.

George Bush has given this country an economic miracle with his tax cut and the checks are in the mail! Good God, why don't people believe that? Instead they listen to the DemoncRATS and economists and moderates and journalists and commentators and Sunday morning punjabs who say the economy is not doing well just because of layoffs and less spending.

Fortunately, REAL Americans like Rupert Murdoch are probably working overtime to get the "truth" out. So am I, or I would be except Mr. Hernandez-Garcia has told me not to speak to the bus passengers.

Mr. Hernandez-Garcia is my boss at the bus station, although if there was real racial equality in this country like Jesse Helms has been fighting for all his life, I would be the boss. But instead due to the bigotry of affirmative action which put him ahead of more qualified candidates to do the hiring, I am working for him.

What is more, I think he is an illegal "guest worker" of the kind George Bush said he would give amnesty to for Hispanish support, although it will not happen. Because every time I even mention the word "green card," he says something in Spanish and tells me to get the gum off the floor.

He and his little family are from Nicaragua, where they were rescued from the iron heel of the Santayanas by the Great President Ronald Reagan (what a tragedy about his mind for America) and his brave Contras. He has not thanked me for supporting the Contras even though he sees I have an autographed photo from Oliver North in my locker.

I wish I knew who drew the Hitler mustache with a magic marker on Colonel North who is a real patriot and his conviction did not stick, another LIEberal slander.

When I saw it, I was furious, I can tell you that! I wrote "He is NOT a Nazi!!!!" in big letters on the Colonel's photo so that real people would not get the wrong idea and think I was a subversive or intellectual. So there. Another communist plot foiled like Grenada, where I would have killed the commie bastards if I had seen any.

Instead I got shot in the rear end by friendly fire and got a medal too. And what have you done for my country, you unpatriotic liars and socialists, but wine and snivel about health care for the uninsured, and protecting the environment, and workers' rights, and more money for public schools, and welfare, and putting social security in a lock box and prescription help for old people and all the other destructive Democrap drivel? It makes my blood boil and every decent American's too.

George Bush has put this country on the right track again, with money for oil companies to find oil they can sell to us, and money for the military to protect us from the countries who are angry about the missiles we are building to protect ourselves now from the missiles they may be planning to build someday. It is as plain as the nose on my face. If we don't break the ABM treaty first, the Russians will break it someday themselves. You can't trust Russians to keep their word.

But instead of pitching in to help, like the Navy picking up Dick Cheney's electric bill, the left wing socialists are complaining. They forget when George Bush came into office (and he did too win! Votes mean nothing!), he warned us that the yellow light on the dashboard was blinking. Were we listening? Now it has gone out, and who's fault is that? Leave us not forget that if it were up to our terrific president like he was a dictator, there would be a much bigger tax cut this instant, and then we would be rolling in what was trickling down on us now. Instead, it is a tiny stream instead of a flood.

I blame the you-no-whose like Klintoon, who inherited the first George Bush's economic miracle, which was just about to kick in and rescue us from Jimmy Carter's recession when the election happened. Because of timing he was not given the votes he ought to have got. (And what about Ross Porro? How come we never hear anything about Klintoon stealing the election?) Despite Slick Willie's attempts to wreck the first Bush's economy, it lasted for eight years. And now that George's great son has taken the helm, the failure of the Kliton economy is happening just like Bill O'Reilly says.

At least, I hope that is what Bill O'Reilly is saying although I do not know because Mr. Padnavatham still will not let me watch his television although I am almost caught up on back rent, and I still do not have electricity in my trailer. And they only watch the trotters or soccer at the Post Time Tavern which is far superior to the Red Bear Lounge (and I am too allowed back in there. I just choose not to go, so there.)

Fortunately, I am able to hear the truth through my radio thanks to Bob Grant, Gordon Liddy and Rush Limbaugh (and if any of you are looking for a writer please call, I am not kidding on this honest!). It does not use electricity or even batteries but operates by winding a crank. I got it two years ago at the Great American Patriot Heartland Values Survivalist Expo and Gun Show of God (which was not a crackpot bunch of white supremacists and malicious despite what the LIEberals at the local paper made it sound like) where it cost just $1,500. It is made of nearly unbreakable genuine plastic and has a light too, although that has burned out.

I invested my life savings in freeze-dried food and the radio at the Expo and it has stood me in good stead ever since. After all, it was only because they were afraid of the network of armed patriots like me that Klitoon and sHrillary did not take advantage of the KY2 emergency to declare themselves emperors for life and turn this great country over to the UN and the Hong Kong drug police. Instead we are still free and with computers, and what thanks do we get? Cries for background checks at gun shows, that's what. But I am not bitter although I ought to be, dammit.

Most of the labels have fallen off the foil packets since I bought them so I am never sure if I am eating freeze-dried beef strogonaught or freeze-dried ice cream. But it is all good. I have some left if you want to invest.

If we had an individual savings account instead of Social Security like George Bush wants to give us, perhaps we could all have freeze-dried food and crank radios. Instead all we have is this risky and dangerous government scheme to rely on for our old age.

Fortunately we also have a great and popular President who is working hard for people like us even though he has been on vacation for a month on his ranch. Now he is tanned and rested just in time for Labor Day weekend.

It was good to hear the President the other day talking before the American Legion, although his voice kept fading out whenever I got tired of cranking.

The American Legion showed what real Americans think. My Pop Bo Boudelang used to tell me what patriots the American Legion were during the Great Depression, when they would go to the trainyards and beat up bums. Everyone was happy then and not oppressed yet by the New Deal and FDR. Pop has left us now, but I am sure where ever he is he was cheered by hearing about the American Legion. Unless he is dead, but even then I am sure they get Fox News in heaven where Richard Nixon and Joe McCarthy and Lester Maddox are.

"Our economy began slowing down last year and that's bad news and I am deeply worried about the working families all across the country," Bush said. However, I am sure that Bush will still not have to do anything as with the tax cut the economy will soon be picking up.

So to sum up, yes the surplus is gone, Demoncraps, but that is good news. Our Great President Bush says it will create a fiscal straight jacket for Congress. I hope in the days and weeks to come, whenever you see "George Bush" you will think "straight jacket." I know I will.

In fact, I think when Mr. Hernandez-Garcia is not looking, I am going to yell "Bush! Straight Jacket!" and "The check is in the mail!" in the bus terminal as loud as I can. The story will come out, even if it is by a crank. The blood of patriot guns cries out for the freedom of speech, like Thomas Jefferson probably said. He will never guess it is me.

Bob Boudelang is a proud American patriot who thinks "straight jacket" whenever he sees George Bush and hopes you will too. If you want to invest in freeze-dried food to keep this country free of tyranny, come down to the bus station and keep your ears open. No checks or credit cards.

Read Bob's other rebuttals